Sway
by some blue december
Summary: Steve knows he screwed up, he knows he wants her back, and he knows his chances aren't great. But he's going to try, and if he doesn't convince Anna to give him another shot, he might lose her forever. Sequel to "Born to Run".
1. Life is but a Dream

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E Hinton, or "Wooderson" by The Gaslight Anthem.

**A/N:** This fic is set in the same universe as all my others, and is the sequel to _Born to Run_.

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**CHAPTER ONE  
****Friday,**** December 16th, 1966**

_And tonight the coastline is quiet,  
__It's quieter than it's ever been._

The first punch to the face made her flinch. There was the sickening _thwack_ of skin on skin, and she had to remind herself that being bothered by this wasn't going to do anyone any good. The second punch - this one to the gut - had her sucking in a breath; heart pounding, stomach tightening, and hands shaking. When the third punch was thrown, she muttered a curse under her breath, wondering why the hell she was doing this to herself.

And that, of course, was when Danny finally decided to fight back. Why on earth he had let it go that far, she didn't know. Especially when he was bigger than the other guy. Maybe it was one of those fighting tactics boys had - let the other guy think he's winning before kicking his ass. Anna smirked; it was only cocky guys like Danny and Tim who could get away with that.

She fidgeted, wondering if she should continue watching the fight so she knew what was going on or if she should head into the Dingo and just wait for someone to tell her what happened. Knowing the outcome without seeing it happen might be better. She was used to Danny fighting - seeing it and dealing with the aftermath - but she sure didn't have to like it.

"That guy's not going to be able to see in the morning," Kathy said.

Anna nodded in agreement. Danny had wrestled the River Kings member down and was relentlessly punching his face while Tim and the rest of The Shepard gang watched.

"What're they even fighting about?" Kathy asked, adjusting her winter hat.

"I think it has something to do with what a tramp Mary-Louise is."

"But Mary-Louise isn't a tramp."

Anna nodded again. "I know. She has a bad habit of finding herself in Danny's bed even though he dumped her, but I think that's more because she actually wants to be with Danny, rather than being easy."

"I thought Danny was seeing Shelley Winters?"

"He is … I think." Danny didn't talk to her about the girls he spent time with, and she never asked. It was a good system that worked for them both.

"You know, I heard the River Kings have been saying a lot of stuff like that." Kathy fidgeted in the cold night. "Apparently a few of them were hassling Angela Shepard the other night."

"That explains why Tim looks so happy about Danny kicking this guy's ass."

Kathy was silent for a moment, and they watched Danny stand up, wipe a bit of blood from his nose, and turn away from the guy on the ground. Anna let out a breath; he seemed to be fine.

"Wanna head inside?" Kathy finally asked.

Looking around the departing crowed, Anna nodded. "Did you see Two-Bit anywhere?"

"He's inside. Are you sure you're okay doing this with me?"

She wasn't sure. In fact, Anna thought she just might throw up. The flirting, the sweet-talking, and the make-up kisses hadn't started yet, but she knew it would happen and knew it would put her off any ice-cream soda she planned on having. She huffed, pulling her scarf tighter. Had she known why she was being treated to an ice-cream soda before she left the house, she probably wouldn't have come.

"Let me get this straight," she began, searching for a way out. "You broke up with Two-Bit just last week, but now you want him back?"

"Shocking, isn't it? Who would've thought I'd ever do something crazy like take Two-Bit back?"

Anna raised an eyebrow at that, though she did appreciate that Kathy's sarcasm was at her own expense.

"I just thought you would've waited more than a week before goin' back to him."

"I have, thank you very much," Kathy snapped. She crossed her arms over her chest, and grudgingly continued. "It was a week on Wednesday."

"Right." Anna smirked. "Didn't you say he got into another fight yesterday?"

"Yes."

"And isn't his fighting why you broke up with him last week?"

Kathy sighed. "Yes."

"Then why do you want to get back together with him?"

"Because he got into a fight yesterday …"

Anna frowned, watching Kathy, but staying silent. Still frowning, she looked back at Danny. He was talking to Tim and Henry Phillips and he seemed fine. She wanted to be the little sister she was and make sure he was okay, but she wouldn't dare.

"Kathy," she finally said, "you realise that makes no sense?"

"Yeah, except it makes perfect sense. I love Two-Bit, and I know he … well, I usually know he loves me …" she trailed off, fidgeting with her hat again. "But I _always_ know that he needs me, and that's why I'm getting back together with him."

"I see."

"Do you?"

Anna shrugged. "Kinda. Did he really almost get suspended yesterday?"

"You heard about that? Glory, he didn't even care. Two-Bit loves school, but he just kept provoking Mr. Clements until he was ready to suspend him," Kathy said. "That was the third fight he'd been in since I broke up with him last week. Before then, it was one fight a week - at the most. I know it sounds stupid, but he _needs_ me."

Anna couldn't deny that. Where Two-Bit was carefree and easy-going, Kathy was sensible and calm. Her dry humour blended well with his obvious humour, and they seemed to balance each other out. If there was anything Two-Bit needed lately, it was balance.

"It doesn't sound stupid," she said. "It actually makes sense, once you explain it like that."

"So you understand why I have to try and get back together with him?"

"Yeah." Fingers fiddling with the necklace she was wearing, Anna looked through the window of the Dingo. Two-Bit was sitting inside with Steve. "But why do I have to come?"

"Because I'm your best friend and you'd do anything for me?"

She smirked. "But what exactly am I doing for you here?"

Kathy took her hat off to run her fingers through her curls. "He might say no."

"Who? Two-Bit?"

"Yeah."

Anna glanced back at the booth Two-Bit was sitting in. "I doubt it."

"He might, though!" Kathy said, digging through her purse. She hurriedly opened her compact and applied some lip-gloss, smacking her lips together when she was done. She couldn't seem to stay still, and Anna knew it was because she was nervous. "_I_ dumped _him_ last week. If that's not the perfect reason to get anything he can out of me - and by anything, I mean some form of begging - then I don't know what is."

"You really think he'd do that?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." She sighed. "Maybe? It's not completely unlikely; you know how he's been acting lately."

Anna wondered if Kathy meant his constant need to argue with everyone, the crappy way he had been treating her, or his general asshole behaviour. She decided against asking; Kathy looked frustrated enough as it was, and it wouldn't surprise her if she meant all three. Anna herself had experienced all three coming from Two-Bit in the last few months. Kathy blamed it on Johnny and Dallas dying.

"It'd be pretty unfair if he decides to act like a jerk about it," she said. "I mean, you're trying to get back together with him for his sake."

"Well, I mean, I might kind of miss him, too." Kathy blushed, continuing in a hurry. "And anyway, we all knew it'd happen eventually, right? It always does."

Anna smirked again; she couldn't deny that. "So I'm here in case he says no? In case he decides to act like even more of a jerk than usual?"

"Something like that. The last thing I want is to be turned down by Two-Bit for the first time, and be by myself and in the middle of the Dingo. But it's not like I can ask him to go somewhere and talk; I'm gonna go for casual here, you know?" She looked at Anna, who nodded because it seemed like the right thing to do to help Kathy's nerves. "Casual. A bit of flirting just to see where we stand."

"Flirting. Right."

"Okay." Kathy took a breath, putting her hat back on. "Okay.

"It'll be fine." Anna reached up and adjusted Kathy's hat for her, not sure she'd ever seen her so nervous about _flirting_ with Two-Bit. Though, with his moods lately, she could understand. She threw Kathy a grin. "Just try not to be too sickeningly cute with your flirting."

"So, you'll come?"

"Of course."

Kathy frowned, gaze travelling from Anna to the Dingo and back again. "Steve's car is in the parking lot."

Anna's stomach tightened. "I know."

"He's in there with Two-Bit."

"I know."

"And that's okay?"

_No._ "It'll be fine."

"Are you sure? I mean, if you _really_ don't want -

Anna cut her off. "You don't have to worry. Me and Steve haven't fought in months. It's not gonna be a problem."

Kathy looked doubtful, but nodded anyway. "Okay … just give me a few minutes."

XXXXX

The fight had been good, and despite getting his ass kicked from him a few months back, Steve had been rooting for Danny Harris. He might not like the guy - and he knew those feelings were returned and then some - but after the run-in Two-Bit'd had with the River Kings last week, Steve would take anyone's side over theirs.

Though, in truth, he'd missed the end of Danny's fight when he'd noticed Kathy standing at the edge of the crowed. His mouth had gone dry, and he knew if Kathy was somewhere without Two-Bit, then she'd be with Anna. She was. It had put him in a shitty mood since, and he'd dragged Two-Bit inside seconds after the fight was over.

Steve looked up from his Coke when Two-Bit laughed. He was telling George Silvers some joke he'd made up about a greaser, a cop, and a priest who all walked into a bar. Steve didn't bother listening - he'd heard the joke twice already - but couldn't help remembering when Two-Bit had tried telling Mr. Clements the same joke yesterday afternoon. After being caught fighting, changing the cop in the joke to a high school vice-principal hadn't been Two-Bit's best idea.

Neither had the fight that had started the whole thing, or the fight at Buck's over the weekend, or the fight with that twitchy guy from the River Kings last week. In fact, most of the fights Two-Bit found himself in these days were bad ideas. So were most of the smart-ass comments he made and _all_ of the rude hand gestures he gave.

But, according to grinning Two-Bit, it didn't matter so long as he won the fights.

"That's terrible, Two-Bit," George muttered, standing from his seat.

"Sure is." Two-Bit laughed. He turned to Steve once George was gone. "Shit, man. You see the right-hook Harris laid into that guy?"

Steve scowled. "Yes." He also remembered that right-hook smashing into his own face back in July.

"That guy was small," Two-Bit said. "Never stood much a chance, but it makes you wonder why he'd pick a fight with Danny in the first place."

Steve shrugged, not caring.

"Oh, hey. Will ya look at that," Two-Bit continued. He was looking at something over Steve's shoulder.

Steve looked. His heart clenched. He dragged his gaze back to Two-Bit. "Doesn't Kathy usually avoid you when you're broken up?"

"Sure does. Especially if she broke up with me. Maybe she don't know I'm here."

She knew. She'd caught Steve's gaze outside side and glared at him until Anna had started talking to her.

"My car's right outside," he said, "and I think she saw us while Danny was fighting."

"Huh." Two-Bit grinned, slapping the table. "Hey, maybe this means she's ready to forgive and forget."

"You really think so?"

Two-Bit sighed. "I doubt it. It's only been a week."

As though he didn't have a choice in the matter, Steve glanced over his shoulder, watching Anna and Kathy talk with Linda Jones and Terry Armstrong.

"Maybe you should go talk to her." Steve frowned … or maybe they should leave and not look back.

"I dunno …" Two-Bit continued to stare at Kathy's car for a moment before looking back at Steve. "She looked pretty pissed off yesterday when I got my years worth of detentions."

"Buddy, I don't think she'd ever speak to you again if you got a years worth of detentions."

"You ain't kiddin'." Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow and scratched the back of his head. "You think I should go talk to her?"

"I dunno. You think she'll wanna talk to ya?"

"Maybe that's why she's here."

"You think so?"

"Well, if it's not then I might as well use this to my advantage, right?"

"I guess." Steve looked toward Anna to see her and Kathy heading in their direction. He swallowed. "Maybe here's your chance."

Two-Bit looked up. "Anna! Lovely to see you, as always."

Anna only smirked in reply and Steve wished she'd say something. Anything. It had been too damn long since he'd heard her voice. He frowned, wishing his thoughts weren't as pathetic as they were.

She sure looked pretty, though. Cold, but pretty. He couldn't help but stare as he waited for Two-Bit make his move.

"How's it goin', Beautiful?"

Kathy smiled, and Steve knew it wouldn't be long before Two-Bit had her back. "It's goin' okay."

"Why don't you ladies take a seat? Plenty of room for everyone."

Anna didn't need to glare at him. She didn't need to glare at Two-Bit. She didn't even need to frown at the situation. The way she hesitantly sat herself in the seat George had been sitting in, rather than sitting in the roomy booth next to Steve told him exactly how much she _didn't_ want to be there. Steve watched her do it, but said nothing.

Two-Bit slipped his arm along the back of the booth, fingers barely touching Kathy's shoulder. "It's only going okay?"

She shrugged. "It could be better."

"Huh." Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow. "Anything I can do to make it better?"

Kathy met Two-Bit's cocked eyebrow with one of her own. She was silent for a moment as she glanced at Anna then back at Two-Bit. "There could be," she said.

Steve looked at Anna, watching her as she watched Kathy. She didn't look at him - not a single glance in his direction - but she sure did fidget a lot. It killed him how close they were; close enough for him to reach out and touch her, but still too fucking far away.

"Oh yeah?" Two-Bit gave Kathy a grin. "I thought after yesterday you wouldn't talk to me for a good couple of weeks. At least."

"As tempting as not speaking to you was, I figured it was only putting off the inevitable." Kathy frowned, and Two-Bit scooted closer. "I don't _like_ being annoyed with you, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit grinned. "And maybe you missed me a little?"

"Maybe a little."

"Maybe we should get together later and … get reacquainted."

Steve smirked, Anna laughed, and Kathy blushed, shoving Two-Bit.

"Two-Bit! You can't just say things like that in the middle of the Dingo." She was laughing, even as she said it.

Two-Bit leaned closer to whisper something to her just as Danny turned up at their booth, looking no worse for wear after his fight. He glared at Steve and Steve smirked back.

"You want a ride, kid?" he asked Anna.

"Um …" She looked like she wanted to say yes as she glanced at Kathy.

"We won't be here much longer," Kathy said.

Anna nodded and looked at Danny. "I'll just see you at home," she said, playing with the necklace around her neck.

Danny nodded, throwing another glare at Steve before leaving. Steve looked at Anna, but she still wouldn't look at him. He couldn't blame her, really, but the silence between them as Kathy and Two-Bit whispered plans to meet tomorrow night, definitely sucked.

This - the few feet between them - was the closest he'd been to her since the night Johnny and Dallas had died. His fingers might itch to reach out and touch her now just as much as they had then, but he wouldn't do it this time. He wasn't going to do anything to ruin the peace that they'd managed recently. Instead he'd just openly watched her … and she still wouldn't look at him.

Finally, she stood. "Maybe I'll just wait in the car."

"No, I'm ready to go," Kathy said, struggling out of Two-Bit's grasp.

Anna smirked, grabbing the keys out of Kathy's hand. "It's okay. You finish up here; I'll go talk to Henry and George."

Steve watched her go, not sure how he felt about their first interaction in months.

XXXXX

"My brother would kill you if he knew half the things you say to me."

Henry smirked. "Your brother thinks I'm great. Told me so himself."

"Is that right?" Anna grinned. "You really think he'd still think that if he knew you flirted with me nearly every day?"

Normally, she wouldn't dare be _that_ bold around a boy. She wasn't shy - far from it - but admitting that she knew Henry was flirting with her just wasn't the kind of thing a girl was supposed to do. She was supposed to be coy and subtle because that's what girls did. Anna smirked; unless that girl was Evie, of course.

But when it came to Henry Phillips, being coy and subtle was pointless. He was open and eager and obvious … with every girl he met. Though, lately, it had been particularly with Anna and no other girls. She didn't miss the way he looked at her or the way every word he said to her seemed to have a deeper meaning than the obvious. What she was missing was the deeper meaning. Kathy seemed to think Henry wanted to date her, but Anna wasn't so sure. For all she knew, Henry just liked to make her blush.

"Anna, your brother would kick my ass if he knew how often I flirted with you, and then he'd make Tim kick me out of the gang, and then he'd kick my ass again." Henry frowned. "Makes you wonder why I continue to do it when you always turn me down."

"I'm not sure it's possible to turn down anything that hasn't been offered." The words spilled out of her mouth before she thought it through, and she could've slapped herself for it. She didn't want Henry offering her _anything_. Flirting was fine and most definitely enough.

Henry grinned, but Kathy turned up before he could say anything in reply.

"I'm so sorry," she said, looking flushed.

Anna glanced behind her to see Steve and Two-Bit talking. "It's okay. You and Two-Bit get everything sorted?"

"Yes, and I'm sure I've made the right choice."

Henry took a step back. "I think it might be time to leave you ladies alone," he said, still grinning. "Anna, I'll see you in science tomorrow."

She waved, then looked at Kathy. "So, you made the right choice?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure, because … well, anyway, he was a lot sweeter than I expected."

"Yeah, I noticed you went from casual flirting to letting him think he could _make it better_."

Kathy blushed. "Yeah, well. He has a way with words, okay? And I have trouble saying no to him -"

"No kidding."

"- but he means the words he say; I know that. And, hey, at least it wasn't awkward."

Anna frowned. She wasn't sure there was anything more awkward that watching Kathy and Two-Bit flirt. "Huh?"

"You and Steve," Kathy said, as though it were obvious. "I mean, it wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't awkward."

"Yeah, that's true," Anna said, even as her stomach dropped.

Two-Bit arrived then, throwing an arm around Kathy's shoulders. Anna looked past him to see Steve heading toward his car.

"So, we on for tonight?"

Anna wondered what had happened to their plans for tomorrow night, but Kathy ignored her smirk. "Yes."

"Good." He turned to Anna. "Hey, how long's it been since you and Stevie talked?"

"What're you asking me for?" And what the hell was with everyone talking about Steve tonight?

"Well, I'd ask Stevie, but he doesn't talk about you. Ever."

She pushed back the crushing feeling in her chest. _Ever?_ "Oh."

Two-Bit seemed to realise his mistake just as Kathy elbowed him in the ribs. Not that Anna even realised what his mistake was. Steve not talking about her wasn't a big deal, and there was no reason for the frown on her face or the way she couldn't meet Two-Bit's gaze. Hell, it wasn't as though she ever talked about him anymore. In fact, she tried her best to not even _think_ about him.

"Hey now, I wouldn't take it personally," Two-Bit said, trying to fix his mistake. "I'm pretty sure how little he talks about you is just to balance out how often he thinks about you … which is a lot."

She was sick of this conversation. "Last time we talked was … I guess it was the night - the night of the rumble."

Two-Bit's eyebrow rose. "You saw him that night?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. Steve never said anything."

She wasn't surprised. If he hadn't been willing to tell Evie about that night - something that had eventually caused their break-up - then it wasn't likely he'd told Two-Bit either. But it didn't matter, anyway. She didn't care.

Two-Bit left then, promising to pick Kathy up later that night, and Kathy ran inside to use the bathroom, promising they'd leave in just a minute. Left alone, Anna shivered, refusing to think about what Two-Bit had said.

"You know, if you'd just let me take you home when I'd offered, you wouldn't've had to wait in the cold for those two to finish up."

She turned to see Henry had come back and was standing much closer than necessary. "Well, I'm not sure I could trust you to just drive me home. Not after all that flirting."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Henry said, and she smiled.

She was happy for his distraction, but as she answered, her gaze slid across the parking lot to find Steve watching her, deep scowl on his face.

_Honey, this town is a prison,  
__With it's four walls closing in._

_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.

All feedback is appreciated :)


	2. Understanding is Cruel

**Disclaimer:** S.E. Hinton owns _The Outsiders_, and Them Crooked Vultures own "Mind Eraser, No Chaser".

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**CHAPTER TWO  
****Wednesday, December 21****st****, 1966**

_All I wanna do is have my mind erased,  
__I'm begging you, pleading you, stop comateasing us all._

He wanted to claim that he hadn't been counting, but Steve had seen Anna flirt with Henry Phillips five times in the last two days. Plus, already once that morning, and school hadn't even started yet. That made six times in less than three days that he had _seen_ it happen, but he had no idea how many times they'd flirted with each other that he hadn't seen. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He also wanted to claim that it didn't bother him, but he wasn't that good a liar.

Not being as over Anna as he would like was something he was dealing with. He'd messed up - more than once - and that was it. Relationship finished. He'd fought as much as he could, but after screwing up as badly as he had, there wasn't much fighting he could do. After a while - after the night of the rumble - he'd had to simply accept that his relationship with Anna really was over. For good. And he'd been dealing with that.

Moving on with Evie had just been stupid and pointless. She'd been a good friend while he was miserable about Anna, but to think she could have ever been more than that again was just plain dumb. It hadn't worked in helping him get over Anna, but it sure had worked in making Anna even more pissed at him. The arguments that followed had been brutal and painful and partly because of his need to make sure he stayed in her mind. He might have been trying to get over her, but he didn't want her getting over him.

But the arguments had stopped after the night of the rumble, and he'd left Anna alone since. It was the least he could do after what she'd done for him that night, and he'd figured it might help them both. Leaving her alone, pretending as though she didn't exist, and as though _they_ had never happened … he'd thought it would help him move on and get over her.

He wasn't sure it had worked. His relationship with Evie ended shortly after that night, but not his thoughts about Anna. They were never-ending. He didn't speak to her or about her, but he sure spent a lot of time thinking about her. He didn't like it. He sure liked her - that he knew - but he didn't like that his thoughts always went back to her.

He hung out with his buddies, he still worked as much as he could, and he was … well, he wasn't happy about acting as though he and Anna had never been together, but he did it because it helped. It hadn't helped him get over her - _yet_ - but it helped him deal with not being with her. And he was sure it helped Anna deal with what had happened.

At least, it had helped him before he'd seen her flirting with another guy. He couldn't expect her to stay single for the rest of her life, and since getting back with Evie he'd never once considered he would get her back, but he didn't have to like seeing her with another guy. Seeing her flirting with Phillips on Friday had been torture.

"Hey, staring ain't gonna make it go away."

Steve looked at Two-Bit. "What're you talkin' about?"

"I'm talking about you glaring at Anna and Henry as though if you stare hard enough, you can make them disappear," Two-Bit said. "Or make one of them disappear."

"I ain't staring."

"No, you're glaring."

Steve scowled. "Ain't you supposed to be meeting Kathy?"

"Na, she's at home sick. Not surprising after the way I convinced her to sneak out Friday night." Two-Bit shook his head, smiling in wonder. "That girl's still crazy about me even after all the shit I pull."

"Gotta wonder why," Steve said.

"You ain't kiddin'. I was surprised enough to see her and Anna turn up at the Dingo on Friday; talking her into spending the night with me was even more of a shock."

Steve frowned, watching Phillips lean down to whisper something to Anna. He hated the bastard.

"Hey, I tell ya I nearly got into it with Rex Hamilton last night?"

"Christ, Two-Bit," he said, looking away from Anna. "There's a damn good reason Hamilton leads the River Kings, you know?"

"Sure do; the guy's crazy. Lucky for me Shepard Senior and the same Henry Phillips you've spent the last few minutes scowling at came along."

"Really?"

Two-Bit laughed. "If there's one group of guys I don't wanna admit getting help from, it's Shepard and his boys. But, from what I picked up, Hamilton's got even more beef with Shepard than he does me."

Steve said nothing. So Phillips had helped Two-Bit out … didn't change anything; he still hated the guy. But it did make him worry about Two-Bit some more. His buddy had been causing trouble all over the place for months, and this was the second fight in a week with a River King.

"Time to go, man," Two-Bit said, still grinning.

Steve nodded, glad the distraction of Two-Bit and school would take his mind off of Anna for a while.

XXXXX

Anna noticed Evie long before her cousin began heading in her direction. She hadn't been looking for her, but it was a habit she'd gotten into. After Steve and Evie got back together, it was just easier to know where they both were. All she had to do was notice them before they noticed her and she could make her clever escape. She wouldn't have to deal with the awkward and forced conversations, the angry arguments, or the ache in her chest.

It just made life easier, because if she had thought running into Steve and Evie a year ago - before the tutoring, before the friendship, and before the relationship - had been bad, it was nothing compared to running into them after the tutoring, the friendship, and the relationship with Steve. That was the worst.

But now it was normal for her to take note of where both Steve and Evie were. She didn't stop to think about it, but some part of her brain mentally took note. She knew where they were; she knew where not to look. It was better that way.

Better, until Evie caught her attention by staring at her. And after glancing at her in confusion, Anna had been more than pissed off to find her cousin heading her way, a determined look on her face.

Things were … polite between them. They weren't friends anymore, but they were still family. They'd always be family and it was for that reason alone that Anna tolerated Evie.

"Anna?" Henry's warm hand on her arm had her looking up at him.

She smiled, throat dry. He sure had an interesting affect on her. As much as she'd like to deny it, his flirting worked on her just like he seemed to want it to. She wasn't sure what he wanted from her, but the more he upped his flirting, the more she thought Kathy was right about him. And the more unsure she became about him. She liked him, but …

"Sorry, what were you sayin'?"

He smiled back, leaning an arm on the side of the building she was leaning against. "I was sayin' that I think we should ditch."

"First period?"

She and Henry shared three of their classes, and she supposed that was how she had come to like him so easily. They sat next to each other in all three classes, and Henry was nothing but easy to get along with. She didn't have a lot of time for the guys in Tim's gang, all of whom ended up at her house far too often, but Henry was different. It really was a wonder why she didn't have a full-blown crush on him yet.

He leaned closer. "I was thinkin' we skip out on the whole day, but -"

"Hey."

Anna wasn't sure if the sinking of her heart was at Evie finally arriving, or Henry's words being cut off. Maybe she liked him more than she realised. Or maybe she just disliked Evie more than she realised. She frowned, looking at Evie.

"Hey."

"How's it going?" Evie asked.

She shrugged, not in the mood for small talk with her cousin. "It's okay."

Silence followed - the crappy awkward silence that fell over the two of them constantly. Anna pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow at Evie, waiting. She was glad for Henry's company, and didn't miss the fact that he had stuck around when Evie turned up, despite leaving her alone with Kathy at the Dingo last week. Well, even if she didn't like him, he was a good friend.

Evie sighed. "Mom wanted me to invite you and Danny over for dinner tonight. You haven't been in ages, and she's hanging out for one of her 'family dinners'."

"Oh." _Shit_. "We can't make it."

"Why not?"

Well, that was a good question. She frantically tried to come up with some excuse, but found herself with nothing.

"She has a date," Henry said, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

Anna scoffed, nudging him in the ribs, and ignoring both his laugh and the heat in her face. "I don't have a date," she mumbled, giving him a half-assed glare. But she couldn't be angry, not when his words finally gave her _something_. She looked at Evie. "Danny has a date."

Evie frowned. "Who with?"

"Shelley Winters. He's been seeing her for a while now."

"But … didn't he just get into a fight over Mary-Louise last week?"

"Yeah, I think so." Anna shrugged, not very keen on analysing her brother's love-life. She knew he was seeing Shelley, but she also knew he and Mary-Louise were still stuck on what they'd had a few months back.

"Right. Well, maybe next week, then," Evie muttered. She left without another word, right as the warning bell rang.

Grabbing her books out of her arms, Henry grinned. "Walk ya to class?"

She nodded, walking inside with him and not unaware of Steve climbing off the hood of his car to head inside. She might not think about him, but she was still aware of him. She needed to be aware of him so she didn't have any of those awkward run-ins.

It was lucky for her - or maybe it wasn't luck but a well thought out strategy - that she hadn't had any kind of run-in with him since the day of the rumble. Last week at the Dingo didn't count, because she had agreed to do it. She had agreed to go inside with Kathy and she had been shaking the whole time. She didn't want any run-ins - awkward, accidental, or intentional.

"You know, it's too bad you ain't over Steve," Henry said.

They had reached her math classroom, and she turned to face him. "Who says I'm not over Steve?"

"The lie you just told Evie says you ain't over him."

Anna frowned. "I wasn't lying."

"You know, if I didn't know about the gang meeting planned for tonight, I might've believed you. But Tim's adamant everyone turn up … especially his second in command."

"Oh."

She didn't know what to say. She wanted to lie some more, she wanted to deny she had lied in the first place, and she even wanted to explain why she had lied. Most of all, she wanted to deny Henry's comment about Steve. She wanted to tell him that she was over Steve … but that would just be another lie. Instead, she stood still and fiddled with the necklace around her neck.

"You knew about the gang meeting, didn't you?" Henry was grinning.

"I might have."

He sighed, handing over her books. "You know, a sure-fire way to get over someone is by moving on with someone else."

She nodded. "I know that." A part of her even believed that was why Steve had gotten back together with Evie. Of course that doesn't explain why he _stayed_ with Evie.

"So, maybe if you let someone take you out, it might help you get over him." Henry was leaving, walking backwards down the nearly empty hallway so he could still look at her. "Maybe if you went out with me, you might even realise there's not much to get over."

Her stomach dropped because he might be serious. And that was nice. It was always nice to know a boy liked her, but when they liked her, had been half-seriously flirting with her for weeks, and was now asking her out … it became something she wasn't sure she was ready for.

But maybe he wasn't serious. Henry had a way of flirting and making her feel like the only girl in the word that he even spoke to, but she wasn't. She didn't expect to be, either, because they were friends.

So she grinned, stepping closer to the doorway of her classroom. "Sure, Henry. If I ever find myself not over Steve, I'll be sure to let you know."

She headed inside before he could respond, almost positive her off-hand reply had nothing to do with Steve Randle.

XXXXX

"Hey, Two-Bit tell ya about his almost fight last night?" Steve asked, digging out his smokes.

Sodapop sighed. "Yeah. I dunno what to do about it, though. There ain't much that'll talk Two-Bit outta anything."

Steve went to answer when a very girly giggle came from inside. He frowned. "Who the hell's in with the kid?"

"Anita Mort," Soda said. "They're paired up on some assignment thing."

Steve frowned. He knew of Anita's brother - and so did everyone else - but didn't know Anita that well. He remembered her from his birthday party a few months back, and knew that she'd fallen victim to Ricky Bolton's rumours just like Anna had, but that was it. Although … The words were out of his mouth before he'd even thought them through.

"Ain't she the one who works at the bakery with Anna?"

Soda raised his eyebrows. "Oh. Are we talking about Anna again?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"I mean you ain't said two words about her in months. Is it suddenly okay to talk about her now?"

Steve sat on the porch steps, hoping to avoid Soda's gaze. "I wasn't talkin' about her."

"You brought her up."

"That don't mean nothin'."

Soda sat next to him. "You seen her lately?"

Shrugging, Steve pulled out a smoke and lit up. "See her all the time; we've got study hall together."

Soda said nothing, and Steve knew he was waiting to see if he would continue. He didn't want to. He didn't want to talk about Anna because not talking about Anna was how he'd been dealing with not being with Anna. But there was that heavy feeling in his chest and he was pretty sure talking things out with Soda might help. If he could talk to anyone about Anna, it was Soda.

"She's been spending an awful lot of time with Henry Phillips," he finally said.

"Are they dating?"

Steve took a long drag before answering. "I don't think so - I would've heard if they were - but they sure flirt a lot."

"And that's a bad thing?"

He shrugged again, not sure how much he wanted to admit. "Ain't my business, really."

"But you don't like it, right?" Soda asked.

Steve wasn't sure if he liked or cursed the fact that, if he wasn't willing to talk, Soda could always drag the information out of him. "Like it? I hate it, man. I fucking hate it."

"You're jealous?"

"Of course I'm not." They both knew he was lying. "Well, I might be." He couldn't outright admit it. Not aloud.

They were silent again, and Steve's mind went back to seeing Anna and Phillips together at lunch. They'd been talking far too much for his liking, they'd been sitting far too close for his liking, and they'd been giving each other far too many small touches for his liking. There had been a moment where he'd actually thought Phillips was going to kiss her and there hadn't been anything he could do about it. There never was. He had to watch them flirt all the time and he was starting to wonder just how used to seeing Anna with another guy he was going to have to get.

He didn't want to have to get used to it. Hell, he didn't want it to be real. Anna and another guy just wasn't right. They might be broken up, and he might not have thought about the two of them getting back together in months, but that didn't mean he was okay with her being with someone else … with her moving on.

His chest tightened. Surely she wasn't truly moving on. He'd seen the way she reacted to being near him at the Dingo last week; she was uncomfortable as hell. If she was over him and entirely done with what they'd had, then being around him shouldn't have been a problem. But if she wasn't over him and done with what they had, then she wouldn't be moving on …

He looked at Soda, completely confused. "What should I do?"

Soda's eyes widened. "Well, are you over her?"

It was a good question, but he wasn't sure he liked the answer. One part of him liked to think he was over Anna - or at least getting there - but another part of him was quietly pining for her like an idiot and he hated it.

But that wasn't right. He _was_ dealing. Slowly but surely, he was getting over Anna. It didn't hurt as much to think about her, the rejection she'd thrown at him when he'd tried to apologise didn't bother him as much, and the guilt that ate at him was slowly fading away.

However, the memory of her, the strange feelings she'd caused him to have, and the urge to just constantly be with her were still strong. They weren't fading at all. He knew it was stupid and that it sounded stupid, but it was what it was. The bad feelings about Anna were leaving, but he needed the good ones to go, too. If he wanted to get over her, then he needed to forget about the good feelings.

"Stevie?"

He looked at Soda. Somehow saying aloud what he'd known for months was damn hard. He shook his head. "I don't think I am."

"You want her back?"

"I - no." He sighed. "I dunno …"

Soda was silent for a moment. "You gotta think hard about this, man. I know you, and I know you still think about Anna a lot; if you do want her back, then do it. Get her back."

Steve didn't say anything. Getting Anna back wasn't as easy as it sounded, nor was he sure it was what he wanted. Well, he knew that _she_ was who he wanted, but it was all so confusing. Seeing her with another guy had messed him up - being around her like he had Friday night had messed him up.

He'd thought he was dealing with not having her, but now she was all he could think about. Even more than usual.

Soda continued. "But if you're just jealous about her and Henry, then maybe you should try and forget it."

"You think that's all this is? You think I might just be pissed that she's moving on?" Steve scowled as he spoke, but a part of him hoped it was true.

"I just don't think it would be fair to her to go after her just out of jealousy - just because you don't like seeing her with another guy. That wouldn't be cool. Not after everything that happened."

And that was how Steve knew that talking to Soda was the right thing to do. He hadn't thought of getting Anna back, wanting her back, or anything else like that for a long time. But seeing her with Phillips had made him realise that even if he wasn't moving on, she might be. The last thing he wanted to do was mess Anna up anymore than he already had, and going after her out of jealousy alone wasn't going to do her any good.

He was jealous - there was no denying that - but maybe it _was_ just because he saw her with Phillips. Just because he thought about her more than he'd like didn't mean anything. Neither did the fact that he wasn't yet over her; that would come eventually. Maybe his jealousy - his possibly wanting her back - was all because she was moving on, and that was just a little hard to deal with.

Taking one last drag of his smoke, Steve silently hoped Soda's theory was right.

_I know I'm gonna be your dangerous side effect,  
__Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate it so much.

Feel free to point out any mistakes. I'm bound to have missed something in the final edit.


	3. Keep My Secrets

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Young Blood" by the amazing New Zealand band The Naked and Famous. They're great, you should all check them out.

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE  
****Friday, December 23rd****, 1966**

_We're only young and naïve still,  
__We require certain skill_

Danny didn't believe her. He didn't look at her as he sped around the corner, but his brow was furrowed and a sneer was forming. Anna knew him well enough to know what was coming.

"I call bullshit."

She smirked. "Of course you do."

"No, seriously." He smirked right back at her. "I think you're lying."

"I ain't lying. Two questions. That's it."

He eyed her suspiciously. "You really expect me to believe you only got two questions wrong on your last math test?"

"Yes."

"… Did you cheat?"

"No, I didn't cheat," she said, shoving his shoulder. "I had help from Kathy the night before and … well, I might have even studied for it."

Danny slowed down and stopped at a red light. "Really? Like, willingly?"

She scoffed. "Do you have no faith in me at all?"

"'Course I do. In fact, I'm impressed."

"Really?"

"Sure. Surprised, but impressed."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You know, just because I used to be terrible at math doesn't mean I still am. I've done well on all my tests so far this year."

"Yeah, I guess Randle wasn't completely useless after all," Danny said, taking off as the light turned green.

Anna said nothing because there was nothing to say. Instead, she sat up straighter and pulled down the sun visor to double check her make-up and fluff her hair.

"Listen, kid, we gotta talk," Danny said, just as she was wiping away a smudge of eye-liner.

She glanced out the window. "Right now? We're nearly at school."

"Now's as good a time as any."

"I guess," she muttered, running her finger under her eye.

Danny tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. "See, the thing is, and you probably ain't gonna like it, but I think we oughta start sorting out Grandpa Joe's place."

She froze, heart skipping a beat and stomach tightening. Eyes free of any smudges, she pushed the visor back up and slowly sat back in the seat.

"Why?"

"Anna, it's been months. Don't ya think it's about time?"

"Not really."

There was a good chance she was being unreasonable. Even as she stared straight ahead, refusing to even look at Danny, she knew she was being unreasonable. It _had_ been months - almost seven, in fact - but that didn't make it okay, and it sure as hell didn't make it about time.

Danny sighed, rubbing a knuckle over his forehead, and she knew he was frustrated. "It's gotta be done eventually, kiddo."

Again, she didn't answer. Glaring out the window, she reached for the necklace around her neck. It was Grandpa Joe's crucifix - the one she'd taken from the hospital the night he'd died. She wasn't religious by any means, but the necklace had been her grandpa's and he'd worn it every day for as long as she could remember. It was stupid and corny and she knew it, but she didn't care; she liked wearing it.

But that didn't mean she was ready or willing to go through the rest of his belongings and it sure as hell didn't mean she was ready or willing to go into his house. She knew that's what Danny wanted, but it wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to do it.

She didn't realise they were at school until the car stopped. Pulling herself together, she grabbed her book and went to open the door.

"C'mon, Miss B," Danny said. She looked at him. "You're being stupid about this."

"I'm being stupid about it? You know what? If I'm being so stupid about it, then why don't you do it yourself?"

Danny glared. "Stupid and childish? Way to go, Anna."

She gritted her teeth, desperate to tell him to stop being so mean, but not wanting to prove him right by sounding childish.

"I don't want to do it."

"I shouldn't fucking have to do it by myself, Anna. I know you took it hard, but he was my family, too."

Well, there was a slap in the face if she'd ever had one. Danny wasn't looking at her anymore; he was glaring out the window, a deep scowl on his face. She frowned, feeling bad. She still didn't want to do it, but she sure was acting like a bitch about it. Of course Danny shouldn't have to do it all alone. She didn't want to be the one to help him, but Grandpa Joe had been his just as mush as he'd been hers. She shouldn't expect him to do it all.

And vice-versa. Grandpa Joe had been hers just as much as he'd been Danny's … it was up to her to go through his things just as it was up to Danny.

She nodded, wishing she didn't feel like crying. "Fine. Just let me know when you wanna do it."

Danny looked at her but didn't say anything else. Still frowning, she held her books to her chest and climbed out of the car.

XXXXX

Anna hadn't been this desperate to skip class since the first day back at school that year. Chances were slim to none that she'd end up stuck in the seat next to Steve two years in a row, but glory she'd hated the idea of it happening. But she'd stuck it out, because, as Kathy had said, she'd just be putting off the inevitable.

But there had been no Mr. Chase, no room full of Socs, no being forced to sit next to Steve. There had been that shaky moment where she'd walked into study hall to see him talking to Terry Armstrong, but that was okay. He'd still been with Evie then, and their arguments were more often than anyone liked, but at least she didn't have to sit next to him. She could deal with him being there when she didn't have to be near him. Kind of.

Well, she could deal with it enough to hold her head high and go to study hall every day. The only time she hadn't turned up was when she'd caught a cold a few days after Johnny and Dallas had died. She hadn't skipped once and she was proud of that. Steve'd broken her heart, but she wasn't so pathetic that she couldn't be in a room with him.

Except now.

Sitting on the hood of Kathy's car, she wished her friend would hurry up. She'd talked Kathy into skipping class with her, stating she just wasn't feeling well and being in a room with Steve wasn't going to help. It wasn't an outright lie.

She could see someone approaching out the corner of her eye, and looked up. She didn't bother hiding her shock when she saw Steve. Her heart skipped a beat, her hands began trembling, and she felt hot all over, but she tried to hide it. It was okay for him to see she was surprised; it wasn't okay for him to see she was completely shaken by him.

He stopped a good few feet away from her and stared at her for a long moment. She didn't know what to do. Considering how close she'd once been with him, making eye contact with him now was awful tough. She felt a little sick.

Finally, he spoke. "How's it goin'?"

She sucked in a breath. Three goddamn words and she felt like every bit of progress she'd made had been wiped clean. Granted, there hadn't been as much progress as she liked to pretend, but his voice, the way he was looking at her, the way _he_ looked in his jeans and leather jacket … they did the kind of things to her they weren't supposed to anymore and she hated herself for it. She supposed it was to be expected. It was the first time he'd spoken to her in months.

Her mouth opened automatically, ready to reply, before she promptly closed it. What the hell was she supposed to say? She glanced away from him and back at the school. Where the hell was Kathy? Finally, she frowned. Why the hell was he talking to her?

"What do you want?" she asked, bewildered.

He scowled. "Ain't I allowed to say hi?"

She took a couple of deep breaths, thinking, and reluctantly decided that was okay. She'd had a few moments to collect herself; her heart was back at it's regular speed, her hands were as steady as they were going to get with Steve standing in front of her like he was, and the cold weather had her shivering again.

So she shrugged, still frowning. "I guess."

"So … how's it going?" he asked again.

_How's it going?_ Really? She didn't really know how to answer that really bad attempt at conversation. A part of her wanted to snap at him, start some kind of fight, because though the anger had faded, she was still hurt. But, fighting with Steve seemed pointless; they'd done it for months - years, really - and it hadn't gotten them anywhere. But, still: _how's it going?_

She looked at him, hating his smirk, and realising that perhaps his attempt at conversation wasn't so bad. She wouldn't have been able to come up with anything better - not that she would've bothered trying - and she was having trouble coming up with any kind of response. That wasn't cool. A pathetic attempt at conversation was one thing - not being able to reply to it was worse.

"It's going okay," she finally said.

Steve nodded, flipping up the collar of his jacket. "Whaddya even doin' out here? It's freezing."

"Yeah … Um, I'm waiting for Kathy."

"You're skippin' class?"

She tapped her fingers on her knees, wondering if she'd ever had a more awkward and forced conversation. Kathy had commented just last week on the lack of awkwardness between them, but she supposed it was to be expected now that they were attempting conversation. They were at an in-between stage; not together and in a relationship anymore, not fighting constantly like after they'd broken up, but still not at the place where they could be … friendly. The in-between sucked.

"Anna?"

"Yeah," she said. "We're skipping."

"Why?"

She couldn't answer that honestly. Not when the answer was that being in the same room as him when she was already feeling sad and stupid was something she dreaded. She might not let herself think about him - except for every night when she was unable to sleep and hating herself for missing him - but she didn't see the point in upsetting herself even more by being around him.

And, to once again prove the bad luck she had when it came to Steve, she was being forced to actually speak to him instead of just seeing him in class. She glared at him.

"Because I feel like it," she snapped. "Not that it's any of your business." So maybe there was a little fight left in her after all.

He raised an eyebrow. "Relax; I was just asking."

"Gee, that's awfully polite of you." She sighed again; fighting with Steve wasn't pointless - it was natural.

"What? So now we can't even have a conversation?"

"Well, we haven't spoken in months. Why start now?" _Why today_?

"Why not now?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

She gave him a cynical smile. "Why ever?"

Steve sighed. "I didn't come here to fight with you, Anna."

She ignored the soft tone to his voice when he said her name, and fiddled with Grandpa Joe's necklace. It probably wouldn't have mattered had Steve come up to her yesterday or the day before - she was sure their conversation would have been just as bad, if not worse - but today was a really shitty day for him to choose.

"What's that?"

She looked at him. "What's what?"

He pointed to her necklace. "That."

"It's a necklace, Steve."

He glared at her. "I ain't ever seen it before."

She frowned, looking at the necklace. She'd worn it to Grandpa Joe's funeral, thinking that it was a nice piece of jewellery and that it was nice to have something if his. But, she'd taken it off that same night, too upset by the situation to even look at it, let alone wear it. She had only taken to wearing it again not long after Johnny and Dallas had died. Where it had been too hard to wear it before, it had felt good to wear it when everything seemed so bad and the last few months had been so hard.

"It's Grandpa Joe's," she said, softly. The words were out of her mouth before she'd even thought about telling Steve.

He took a step closer. "It's nice."

Her stomach felt like it was being squeezed as he came closer, but she said nothing. She wished he wasn't being so nice. A mean Steve was worse than a mean Danny, but she was almost willing to swap if it meant Danny changed his mind about Grandpa Joe's house. Christ, she really didn't want to go there.

"What's wrong?"

She shivered as a gust of wind blew past them. "Nothin'."

"You're lyin'," he said. "Tell me what's wrong."

She smirked. "Why would I do that? Even if there was something wrong - which there ain't - why would I tell _you_ about it?"

Steve stared at her for a long moment and she had to look away. It was there, the heavy feeling in her chest, the words that were bubbling up her throat, and it almost made her _want_ to tell him. She pushed it down, trying to remember her how much she wanted to hate him.

He took a step closer. "I'm not tryin' to piss you off, okay?"

"Just go away."

"I ain't going anywhere."

She glared at him. "If you're trying to be helpful, it ain't working," she said. "You're just making things worse."

It was true. Even without her fresh thoughts about Grandpa Joe, being near Steve like this was hard. It had been since the moment he'd arrived, and his wanting to help was just making it harder. And she knew he wanted to help, because though he might have cheated, he didn't hate her. Well, she was usually pretty sure - especially on those nights when she wanted to cry at how much she missed him - that he didn't hate her.

"I'm not gonna leave you alone, Anna," he said. "Not when I know something's up."

She bit her lip, hard, and for one awful second she thought she might start crying. But her eyes stayed dry and she frowned at him. Why did he even care what was wrong? She didn't understand how their conversation had turned to this, or why it was it that she was almost willing to tell him everything.

"Is it your dad?"

Staring at him, she slowly shook her head. "No."

"C'mon, you know you can tell me."

She stared at him and he stared right back. She wasn't just wondering why he had to choose today of all days to speak to her, but why also why the hell he had to be so … _Steve_. He was acting like he used to - when they'd been together. It was getting to her in all kinds of ways.

"It's Danny," she said, and just like before, the words were out before she'd decided to say anything. "He wants to clean out Grandpa Joe's house."

"You mean … get rid of all his stuff?"

"I guess. I dunno, really. We didn't exactly talk about it, but …"

Steve nodded. "You don't wanna do it."

She tapped her fingers on the hood of Kathy's car. "It's been seven months. _Seven_. That's a long time, you know?"

He nodded again. "Sure."

"But, I don't wanna do it. I told Danny I would, but I really don't want to."

And just like that, the heavy feeling in her chest began to lessen. She took a breath; it wasn't supposed to happen like that. Talking to Steve shouldn't help anything. Hell, she shouldn't even _be_ talking to him. But, when he looked at her that intently, she just couldn't stop.

She looked at him, a small frown on her face. "It just … it feels too soon, you know?"

He opened his mouth to agree, but paused. Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Her eyes widened because he really did know. He understood completely and that had always been something they'd had. His mom, her grandpa … and now - since Dallas and Johnny - he understood more than ever.

"I didn't mean to - I mean … your -"

"S'okay."

She glanced behind him, relief washing over her; she might've talked to him, but she sure was looking forward to seeing him go. "Kathy and Two-Bit are coming."

He nodded. "Okay. Just remember what I said when we were together, okay?" He took a few steps back, not looking at her. "It gets easier. I promise."

XXXXX

Soda's theory was wrong. So fucking wrong.

Steve didn't bother waiting for Anna to reply before leaving. It had been luck - complete fucking luck - that he'd run into her like he had. Study hall was the one class he never cut, but he'd forgotten a book in his car that morning and had run out to get it. Seeing Anna sitting on the hood of Kathy's car like she was - without Henry fucking Phillips all over her - he hadn't been able to let the opportunity pass.

Normally, he'd leave her be because that was the way things were now. Except … he didn't want to leave her be. He wanted to see her, talk to her … find out if he was just jealous. He wasn't likely to get many more chances like that one; Winter break began the next day, and he wouldn't see Anna much - if at all - until school started back up in the new year.

So he'd walked up to her, knowing it wasn't a good idea but unable to stop himself. She'd asked why now, and as he stood in front of her, the answer was simple: because he couldn't stop thinking about her, because he hated the idea of her moving on, because just being near her made him crazy with all kinds of feelings he didn't want to think about.

"Hey, man," Two-Bit said.

"You ain't cutting with Kathy?"

"Na. I told her I was gonna cut either way, but she wouldn't let me go with her and Anna." Two-Bit laughed. "Chicks are weird."

Steve agreed, thinking about what had just happened with Anna. He was pretty sure she was even more surprised at her opening up to him than he was. She was a tough chick. She kept her trap shut good, she stayed cool after being hit around by her old man, and she hid her emotions and feelings well enough unless you really knew her … but not her moods.

Despite the months that had passed, Steve still knew her. He'd missed the obvious about her in the past, but not this time. This time he'd been trying to find out if he was just jealous and he'd seen everything else at the same time. There hadn't been any real bite to her side of their conversation, she'd fidgeted and tapped and frowned constantly, and the look in her eyes was the biggest giveaway of all.

He'd thought that hate was the last thing he wanted see, but that sad look in her eyes when he'd commented on the necklace was so much worse.

His chest still felt achy and he didn't like it. She looked so sad and he'd wanted to help her in some way, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't kiss her, hug her, or even just hold her hand. But he'd made her talk, and he knew from experience with Anna, that talking it out - even that tiny bit - would have helped. Shit, he sure hoped it helped because he couldn't stand it if she continued being that upset.

"You gonna skip class with me, Stevie?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve nodded. It was too late to go back to class now, and the only reason he ever went to study hall was Anna.

Opening Two-Bit's car door, he winced at the sound it made. "You really oughtta let us take a look at this, Two-Bit."

"Why would I go an' do a thing like that?"

"You want a list?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

Two-Bit seemed to consider that, staring at his car and scratching the back of his head. Steve watched him, taking in the fresh black eye he'd received the night before from one of Rex Hamilton's boys. Steve didn't like it. He'd heard from George Silvers that Rex Hamilton had some kind of beef going with Shepard, and the last thing they needed was Two-Bit getting in on that. Hamilton was dangerous and so were the boys in his gang.

Talking Two-Bit out of causing too many problems seemed like the obvious thing to do, but no one wanted to go there. Not when the reason for his mood swings, his fights, and his constant bad-mouthing people was that it was his way of dealing with Johnny and Dally dying. No one wanted to talk about them and, as usual, it was there that Steve stopped his train of thought.

"Well, how long's the list?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve slowly made his way around the car, counting off on his fingers. "From memory, there's an oil leak, squeaky breaks, I'm pretty sure your gearbox is screwed, you definitely need a new tire or two -"

"Okay, okay." Two-Bit held up his hand. "I get it."

"Plus," Steve continued, "the whole thing is covered in rust."

"Well, gee, Stevie … you make it sound like I should just get myself a whole new car."

Steve smirked. "Wouldn't be a terrible idea …" He trailed off, watching as Kathy's car pulled out of the parking lot. Kathy glared at him on her way out, but Anna avoided his gaze.

"How'd it go with her?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve shrugged, not wanting to answer. He wasn't just jealous, he didn't want her just because someone else might be getting her, and he sure as hell wasn't over her. He'd seen Anna truly heartbroken twice; the night her grandpa died and the day he'd tried to apologise to her. Seeing that hurt look in her eyes without the anger directed at him had made him realise everything.

XXXXX

Henry Phillips was sitting next to her. His arm was resting along the back of the booth at the Dingo, his fingers grazed her arm every few minutes, and he really did have the most charming smile.

But Anna couldn't stop thinking about Steve.

One encounter with him, one conversation, and one goddamn moment of weakness she didn't realise he could still inflict on her, and she had spilt everything. She hadn't wanted to - he didn't need to know anything about anything - but she had told him.

Fighting a sigh, she played with a fry on her plate. She just didn't understand what had happened. Sure, she'd still been upset with Danny, and the idea of going to Grandpa Joe's was causing that old ache in her chest to come back, but she couldn't figure out why she had told _Steve_ about it. She hadn't even told Kathy.

He'd forced her feelings out of her the same way he always had - by simply asking. She didn't know what it was about Steve that made her talk; he'd cheated on her, broken her heart, and hurt her far too much … but he was still able to make her open up in a way no one else could. Admittedly, it had taken a while for her to tell him, but he'd still managed to get her to talk and she wished he hadn't. Even if the words that followed and the promise he'd made that she couldn't quite bring herself to trust had helped her.

Not for the first time, Anna silently wished she could hate him.

Ignoring Henry and Kathy - who were talking about science of all things - she looked up to see Steve watching her from the other side of the Dingo. She frowned and looked away, just as Anita Mort sat opposite her.

"Hey."

Anna smiled. Anita was a few years younger than her, but a summer working together at the bakery and a mutual hatred for Ricky Bolton had cemented their friendship.

"Where were you today?" she asked. "I didn't see you at all."

Anita glanced at Henry who was still talking to Kathy, and lowered her voice. "We went to see Vinnie for his birthday. Aunt Meredith doesn't have a day off for another week, so it had to be now."

Anna said nothing, knowing Anita didn't really like talking about her brother. He'd been in prison for a few months now, having shot some girl at the very diner they were sitting in. With her mom dead and her dad in prison, Anita now lived with her aunt - who worked full-time at the bakery and had gotten Anita the job during the summer and after school - and younger cousin.

As her friend joined in Kathy and Henry's conversation, Anna went back to playing with her food and thinking about Steve. It was suddenly automatic again, like it had been when she'd first started to like him. It didn't mean anything; just that having to speak to him had weakened her resolve to never think about him again … at least, not during the day. The fact that she'd opened up to him didn't mean anything, either.

"You ready to go?" Henry asked.

She nodded. Kathy had agreed to meet Two-Bit in a while and Henry was giving her a ride home. "Do you need a ride?" she asked Anita.

"Oh, well … I don't wanna intrude …"

Anna blushed at what Anita was insinuating. Climbing out of the booth, she was both weary and eager to hear what Henry's reply would be.

He laughed. "Don't worry about it. I'll spend tomorrow night making out with Anna."

She rolled her eyes at him and said goodbye to Kathy. As the three of them headed toward the door, she couldn't stop her gaze from heading toward Steve. He was watching her leave, staring at her intently. She held his gaze for a moment, unable to look away, before heading out the front door. At least she wouldn't have to see him for over a week.

_The bittersweet between my teeth,  
__Trying to find the in-betweens._

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**A/N:** Betad by RileysMomma. Thanks for reading :)


	4. Fragile Lives

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "The Kids Aren't Alright" by The Offspring.

_"This fic/chapter is being posted as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sues. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honour."_

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**CHAPTER FOUR  
Wednesday, December 28th, 1966**

_Now the neighbourhood's cracked and torn  
__The kids are grown up but their lives are torn_

Steve hadn't seen his dad in days, and if it weren't for the fresh carton of milk that had appeared in the icebox that morning, he _might_ have been worried.

Christmas had come and gone just like it did every year, and Steve hadn't seen his dad since arriving home to find him passed out on the couch Christmas Eve. He didn't know where his old man had spent Christmas day, but Mrs. Mathews had insisted he and the Curtis boys have dinner with her, Two-Bit, and Two-Bit's little sister, Donna. As far as the first Christmas without Mr. and Mrs. Curtis went, it wasn't terrible. Even if Steve had spent most of the day being hassled by Two-Bit because his kid sister had a crush on him.

But, now his dad was home from work or the pub or a bender in some gutter somewhere, and Steve was desperate to get the hell out.

He finished washing the oil from his car off of his hands and left the bathroom. He'd go to Soda's, just like he always did. Question was whether to sneak out his bedroom, or tough it out and go out the front door.

"What the fuck are you doin' here?" John asked, as soon as Steve was out of the bathroom.

He tensed; his dad didn't sound drunk, but definitely sounded like he had _been_ drunk which was worse. Walking passed his dad, he hoped to get to the front door before any shit was started. "Goin' to Soda's," he muttered, not looking at him.

"And leavin' the place looking the state it is? I don't think so. Get back in there and clean your fucking mess."

Steve paused. "Ain't my mess. Clean it yourself."

Sometimes, he wondered just what kind of idiot he was. First he had cheated on Anna, then he had gotten back together with Evie for all the wrong reasons, and now he was constantly replying to his dad's jerky comments with ones of his own. Had been since Johnny and Dallas died.

"Ungrateful bastard," his dad said, turning away.

Knowing he should keep his trap shut, Steve replied, "Useless bastard."

The punch to his jaw came quicker than he expected. His dad might have spent last night drinking, but he was well and truly sober now. Steve clenched his hands, refusing to rub his jaw.

"Get the fuck outta here, Steve. And don't bother comin' back."

Glaring, he left, slamming the door behind him. Too angry to even look where he was going, he took off in the direction of Soda's.

He wished he didn't have to go back, he really did. In the past it had still been home and a part of him had always wanted to go back. But fuck, not anymore. Now when his old man told him to piss off for good, he wanted to. Shit, he would, too. As soon as school was finished, he'd get the hell out of that place and not look back.

Things had gotten way out of hand in the last few months and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. His attitude only made things worse; he knew that, but never bothered trying to calm himself. Not when it came to his dad.

Rubbing a hand over his knuckles, he sighed. His attitude toward his dad had only gotten worse since Dally and Johnny had died, but he pushed them out of his head. If he could get away with not thinking about Dally and Johnny, then he'd do it.

He supposed his attitude was normal, though - people dealt with death in different ways; Darry was constantly fretting, Soda went into long silences that were unlike him, and Two-Bit … well, Two-Bit was more of a mess than anyone. Steve had always let his temper get to him that fighting with his dad as much as he was wasn't a shock, but Two-Bit was the easy-going one.

Well, he had been. Now he was getting into trouble all over the place and Steve couldn't afford to let _his_ temper get the best of him. Not when he had Two-Bit to watch out for. He wanted to fight - he was itching for a good fight and preferably with Henry Phillips - but he couldn't. Not when Two-Bit was doing enough fighting for all of them. All Steve could do was start something with his dad every now and then.

And he did. Steve couldn't help but hate the bastard. He remembered the first time he had felt true hate for his own father, and realised not a lot about then had changed. When his dad had told him his mom was a slut, Steve's body cursed with hatred, and they had fought.

A real fight - punches, kicking, his dad's broken nose. He smirked at that thought, but it had been the breaking point for whatever relationship they claimed to have. There was no more money in place of apologies. Since that first fight, his dad didn't just yell at him when they argued. He had taken to throwing punches; punches that Steve couldn't - and wasn't stupid enough - to throw back if his dad wasn't drunk. John Randle was big and would beat his own son to pieces if he felt like it.

Kicking a stone into the Curtises' front lawn, he tried to forget about his dad. A part of him couldn't help but wish that he could go to Anna like he did the first time his old man hit him.

"Hey, buddy!" Soda called, from the front porch.

Steve looked up, surprised to see Soda smoking. "You okay?"

Soda nodded. "Sure, just - Christmas holidays, you know?"

"Yeah." Pulling out his own smokes, Steve sat next to him.

"You get into it with your dad again?"

Lighting up his smoke, Steve just nodded.

"The guy's a jerk," Soda said. "Try not to let him get to ya, Stevie."

"S'cool," he said. "I ain't worried."

Anyone other than Soda might have believed him. Blowing out a smoke ring, Steve leaned against the porch railing. "Where's Darry and Pony?"

"Darry's out with some old buddies, and Pony's inside reading. Hey, you seen Two-Bit today?"

Steve shook his head, but as if reading their minds, a car came to a slow stop in front of them, and Two-Bit climbed out.

"Hey, y'all."

"Where ya been?" Soda asked.

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow and scratched his head. "Funny story there."

Steve and Soda both groaned lowly. Two-Bit was full of funny stories, no one could deny that, but more often than not, his funny story wasn't that funny at all. It was outright frustrating.

"What happened?" Soda asked.

Two-Bit sat on Steve's other side, and pulled out his own smokes. "See, it all started when I was at the liquor store. Being a good Samaritan and all, I was actually _paying_ for my booze for once." Neither Soda nor Steve bothered to point out that using a fake ID wasn't considered being a good Samaritan. "I had a nice carton of beer in my hand, was in the process of handin' over my cash, and both me and the guy behind the counter hear this almighty smash come from outside."

He paused, lighting up his smoke and inhaling deeply.

"So, not only does it make us both jump, but it has me dropping the carton of beer, getting my shoes covered in beer - which, in case you didn't know, becomes awful sticky when it dries - and pulling out my blade."

Soda laughed. "You didn't?"

"Oh, I did. Let me tell you, Sodapop Curtis, I ain't so much a fan of loud noises these days."

Steve raised an eyebrow, sure that Two-Bit was referring to Dallas being shot right in front of them. For Two-Bit to be admitting what he was, Steve figured he was probably a little soused despite the spilt beer and it not even being dark out.

"So I'm standing there, beer all up my jeans, blade in hand, with the cashier screaming at me." Two-Bit scratched his head again. "I dunno, I guess he had forgotten about the crash outside or whatever, because he sure was pissed at me."

"What'd you do?" Steve asked.

Two-Bit grinned. "Well, I was in a bit of a jam, as y'all can imagine. Was I to go outside and check out the crash? Or was I to go get another carton of beer? I'll tell ya, the decision came awful easy when the cashier stormed out back to grab a mop. I found myself able to grab some more beer, _and_ head outside to inspect the crash before the guy could start yelling at me again."

Steve smirked. Only Two-Bit could claim to be a good Samaritan by paying for beer and not pay for it in the end.

"So what was the crash?" Soda asked.

Two-Bit sighed. "Someone smashed a window in my car."

"What?" Both Steve and Soda were off the porch and circling Two-Bit's car in seconds.

"Holy shit, man." Steve shook his head as he took in the large hole in the driver's door window. "Who the fuck did this?"

"Well, I ain't got no proof on account of not seein' nothing," Two-Bit said as he reached them, "but I might have sassed some River Kings while driving along the Ribbon."

Soda groaned. "Christ, Two-Bit. I was just tellin' Darry earlier that we don't need anymore trouble."

"I know! I swear, I didn't even mean to, but I'd already had a few and the words just fell out."

Steve stayed silent. He didn't want to be worried about Two-Bit, but his buddy had been getting out of hand lately. His drinking, despite popular belief, hadn't increased after Dally and Johnny had died, but he sure had become a smart-ass. Not the kind of smart-ass everyone loved, but the kind of smart-ass that could get himself into some serious shit.

The kind of smart-ass that _was_ getting himself into some serious shit.

"This ain't the first time you've sassed them, Two-Bit," Soda said.

Two-Bit held his hands up, all innocence. "It ain't my fault; they're just so damn easy to rile up." He laughed then, grabbing his beer out of the car.

Steve met Soda's worried gaze and shrugged. He might have been concerned about Two-Bit, but he didn't want to make anything out of it. Not when it meant bringing up Dally and Johnny. Sighing, he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and followed Two-Bit up the path.

"So, Stevie," Soda said, cheerful grin on his face as he tried to change the conversation. "What're ya plannin' on doing about Anna?"

"What about Anna?" Two-Bit asked, just as Steve shrugged.

"Steve wants her back."

Two-Bit laughed. "Well, of course he does!"

"What's that s'posed to mean?" Steve frowned at Two-Bit.

"C'mon, buddy. Anyone with half a brain can see the way you still look at her."

Steve said nothing. Just because he might look at Anna a certain way didn't mean shit. It wasn't as though he talked about her. In fact, the only reason he hadn't told Two-Bit about wanting Anna back earlier, was because he hadn't told anyone. Soda had asked if he'd made any decisions, but Steve just shrugged, not wanting to answer or talk about her.

After the fight with his dad, and Two-Bit's run-in with the River Kings, talking about Anna seemed easy.

"So, you gonna try get her back?" Two-Bit asked.

He sighed, not sure how to answer. He sure wanted her back, but that was just him. He didn't know how she felt. She had obviously been affected by him last week, going by the way she had spilled her feelings about her grandpa, but he wasn't sure that was enough.

He wasn't sure of much at all when it came to her feelings for him. He'd been able to see she was upset about something, and that he still had some kind of affect on her, but not much else. He didn't know if she was over him and just uncomfortable around him, or if she wasn't over him and was just faking her way through having to be near him.

"Do you know if she's said anything about me to Kathy?" he asked Two-Bit.

"Uh-uh. Not that Kathy would tell me anyway; she still hates you for cheating on Anna."

Steve nodded; he still hated himself for cheating on Anna. But he needed to know if she was over him or not. She flirted with Phillips a hell of a lot, but when he had dated Evie to get over Anna, that didn't mean much. The problem was that if she was over him then he had no chance. Any good feelings she might still have about him would be outweighed by her lack of interest in him.

But, if she wasn't over him …

His heart thudded at the thought - at the idea that she wasn't over him and he might be able to get her back - despite the possibility of it not being a good thing. If she wasn't over him then she'd still be hurt and angry and distrustful of him. At that moment, hurt and angry and distrustful were worse than a lack of interest.

"I ain't got a chance at anything if she's over me," he said, giving Soda and Two-Bit an edited version of his thoughts. "But I might have an even smaller chance if she's not over me and still pissed as hell."

A part of him doubted she was over him. It could have been his ego or it could have been the way she _had_ talked to him last Friday - he wasn't sure. He might not be able to tell how she felt about him, but he knew how she felt about her grandpa, and he knew she wasn't a talker. The fact that she had talked to him had to mean something …

"I dunno if it helps any," Two-Bit began, "but she sure looked put out at the Dingo the other week when I let slip that you don't talk about her."

Steve wasn't sure if he should be pissed or not that Two-Bit had let that slip. He shrugged it off. "Oh yeah?"

"Didn't say nothin', but she sure looked sad."

He didn't want her looking sad, but hearing that sure helped him. Hurt, anger, and distrust might be worse than lack of interest, but he didn't think he could take Anna being over him.

Either way, he figured he was screwed. Either way, he didn't care.

Swallowing hard, he looked at Soda. "I gotta try, right?"

"The worse she can do is turn ya down … and it ain't like she hasn't done that before."

Steve rubbed his knuckles against the denim of his jeans before taking the beer Two-Bit offered him. Screw waiting for dark; he needed a drink.

"I already messed up and lost her," he said, after a long drink. "I ain't willing to lose her for good if I still got some kinda chance." And he had to have some kind of chance.

Two-Bit grinned, slapping him on the back. "Good for you, Stevie. Now, what we need is a plan …"

XXXXX

"Shit," Anna hissed, staring at the glass on the floor.

Anita glanced at her. "That's the third plate you've broken this afternoon."

"I know. You think they'll take it outta my pay?"

"Na. Remember I broke the oven that time? They just shrugged it off and got someone out to fix it."

Anna nodded. "But you're the assistant manager's niece."

"And you're the one out of the two of us who can actually bake. The only good I can do in this place is wash dishes and serve customers."

"If it makes you feel any better, the only good I get to do is wash dishes and serve customers," Anna said.

Not that she minded. It was a job, it paid as well as could be expected, and it was in a bakery. Some people didn't get the attraction of baking, but she loved it and while she was still in school, she couldn't think of a better job for her. Even if she did just wash dishes and serve customers, she still got to learn a lot of new stuff.

But she doubted anyone wanted to teach her anything when she was constantly breaking plates. She sighed, kneeling down to pick up the shards of glass.

"Are you okay?" Anita asked. "Three plates in a couple of hours is pretty bad."

"I'm fine." She wasn't, but she really didn't want to talk about it. Being back in that place where she thought about Steve Randle much too often was more than enough; talking about him as well wasn't appealing at all.

The bell above the door jingled, and Anita dropped to her knees with Anna.

"That'll be the late pick-up Aunt Meredith told us about," she said. "You go get that; I'll clean up here."

Anna grinned. "Thanks."

She stood and made her way out to the shop of the small bakery, realising all at once that getting away with _not_ talking about Steve might not have been as easy as she'd hoped.

"Millie?"

The woman turned, eyes widening in surprise. Finally, she smiled. "Hey, kiddo. I forgot you worked here."

Anna fidgeted; it was her all right. Steve's dad's ex-girlfriend - tall, blonde, and … very pregnant.

"Wow."

Millie ran a hand over her stomach and Anna looked away, embarrassed at having been caught staring.

"I ordered a cake," Millie said. "Should be under Beck."

"Right." She nodded. "Um …"

Turning, she forced herself to get her act together. It was just Millie. Millie who she'd hit it off with right away, who had always been good to Steve, and who had told them both that if they ever needed anything they could go to her. Just because seeing Millie made her think of Steve - _again_ - didn't mean she had to act like an idiot. She bit her lip. Neither did Millie being pregnant.

Anita came out of the back kitchen, box in hand. "Here. Order for Beck, right?"

Anna nodded and took the box. A tense silence fell between them as Anita went back into the kitchen and Anna rang up the order. Millie seemed different, and not just pregnant different. She was quieter, calmer, and more reserved. Glancing at her, Anna did the math in her head. Five and a half months since she and Steve had broken up, Millie had left Steve's dad only days before that - Anna hated herself for remembering so easily - and she looked to be … well, Anna had no idea. The last pregnant woman she'd really known was Aunt Helen when she was pregnant with Evie's little brother.

She handed the box to Millie and took the money. The words were out before she could stop them.

"Is it his? Steve's dad's?"

Millie hesitated before nodding. "Yeah."

"Does he know?"

"I don't want him knowin', Anna," she said. "You know how he is with Steve; I don't want that around this one." She ran her hand over her stomach again. "That's why I left after all."

Anna nodded. She could understand that.

Millie grinned. "It was real good seein' you, kid."

"Yeah?" she asked, feeling pathetic.

She hadn't realised until seeing her just how much she had missed the older woman. Steve hadn't liked the idea of Millie replacing his mom - and neither had Millie - but Anna had liked her right away. But she'd never considered her any kind of mother-figure until now. She didn't know if it was because Millie was pregnant, because her own mother had taken off again only days after Millie, or because Millie had treated her better than her own mother had.

Whatever it was, it sure made Anna wish things were different.

Millie was nodding. "Yeah, but … you gotta do me this one favour and not say anything about the baby, okay? Not to John or Steve."

"I won't say anything," she promised. "I just - it was real nice seeing you again."

"Take care, kid."

Once Millie left, Anna leaned against the counter and let out a deep sigh. _Shit_.

_How can one little street  
__Swallow so many lives?_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Reviews are appreciated :)


	5. Disappointment Has a Name

**Disclaimer:** _The Outsiders_ belongs to S.E. Hinton, and "Heartbreak Warfare" belongs to John Mayer.

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**CHAPTER FIVE  
****Friday, December 30th****, 1966**

_Drop his name,  
__Push it in and twist the knife again_

With a frustrated sigh, Anna ran her hands through her already messy hair. She was never going to be rid of Steve Randle. He might have dated Evie, she might be more than happy to flirt with Henry, and they might have only truly spoken to one another _once_ in months, but she wasn't rid of him. She wasn't sure she wanted to be _completely_ rid of him, but she knew that she wanted the hurt to go away and the only way to do that was to get over him and move on.

She wasn't sure how she was supposed to do that when she continued being dragged into his life. First by Kathy who needed her at her side while she dealt with Two-Bit. Anna was willing to do that, though. Kathy was her best friend and she'd do anything for her, but she sure didn't have to like the fact that it had put her near Steve.

And now … She sighed. Now she knew that Millie was pregnant with his dad's kid. His dad might be a jerk who treated his own son like shit, but Anna knew Steve was nothing like him. He might have cheated on her, but he wasn't an uncaring bastard. She wished she could say he was - she had even considered it to be true after he'd slept with Evie - but she knew better. She wasn't blind; she had seen him the night Johnny and Dallas died.

Steve had cheated because he thought she was leaving him. All he'd done was try to protect his feelings by hurting hers worse. It sucked, and she wanted to hate him for it, but she couldn't. She couldn't hate Steve and she knew that under any other circumstances, he never would've cheated.

What she didn't know was if this was something she'd always known or just come to realise in the last few days. Because since she'd seen her at the bakery, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him and Millie. She was having a baby and - after a lot of careful consideration - Anna knew that even if John Randle didn't deserve to know, Steve sure as hell did.

Sitting at the kitchen table, she stretched. It was almost noon but she was still in her pink flannel pyjamas and hadn't been out of bed more than half an hour. Usually that morning person who annoyed everyone with her good mood - especially Steve and Danny - she felt groggy and moody and wished she'd been sleeping better.

It wasn't guilt tugging at her, nor was it loyalty to Steve, but she wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was just that he deserved to know. After thinking about it for so damn long, she knew that for certain. She'd tried to convince herself otherwise by remembering how much he'd hurt her, thinking of all the bad things about him, and deciding that he probably didn't even like kids anyway.

But she kept going back to that other point: Steve wasn't his dad. As much as she hated to admit it, he was … okay. She could call him plenty of names and mean most of them, but there were some things she couldn't deny. He was loyal to his friends, he could be kind when he wanted to, and he was generally pretty decent. When he wasn't screwing around on his girlfriend.

She smirked. The anger might have faded and she might know in her heart that he wouldn't've done it if things hadn't gotten so messy, but that didn't mean she was about to forgive and forget or let him off the hook in any way, shape, or form.

Groaning, she lay her head on her arms. She didn't know what to do. This secret had been shoved upon her and she couldn't tell anyone. She supposed she could tell Kathy, but what good was that going to do? The fact was that agreeing to keep quiet had come automatically, but she wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. Steve deserved to know … but it sure wasn't her place to tell him.

She didn't know whose place it was to tell him that he was going to have a kid brother or sister in a matter of months, but it wasn't up to her. Maybe it all came back to her unwillingness to forgive and forget, but it wasn't her problem. She wanted to be over him - because not being over him sucked - and to do that she had to stay away from him and out of his life.

Someone knocked at the door, and she peeked out from beneath her tangle of hair. Climbing to her feet, she cursed Danny and her dad for being out. She needed a shower, clothing, makeup - not visitors. Sighing, she opened the front door and wanted to cry at the unfairness.

After a moment of silently checking her out, Henry grinned. "Nice pyjamas."

Unsuccessfully fighting a blush, Anna glanced down at the pink flannel. "Glad you like them."

"Oh, I do. Really, I don't think I've seen you look more gorgeous."

She met his gaze, smiling slightly. "Are you making fun of me?"

"No way." He took a step closer, picking up a strand of her hair. "This bed-hair thing? It _really_ works for you."

He was teasing her, but there wasn't anything nasty about it. There never was, and she wondered if Henry even knew how to be mean. She supposed he must if he was in Tim's gang, but he was being awfully nice to her. And she knew she didn't look her best.

"What are you doin' here?" she asked. "Danny ain't home."

He gave her a grin she could only describe as sexy. "Yeah, I'm here to see you."

"Really?" She silently scolded herself as soon as the word was out of her mouth. She sounded far too happy about that small fact.

"Really. I was hanging out with the guys last night, and I started thinkin' about that conversation we had at school the other week. You know, the one about you not bein' over Steve Randle?"

"I remember," she said. "But I never admitted to not being over Steve."

He shrugged. "You also never denied it. But, either way, I wanna take you out."

She was silent for a moment. He joked about it constantly - always flirting with her, hinting at asking her out. But the most serious he'd been about it was when they'd talked about Steve … and even then she hadn't been certain he wasn't just joking around.

"You - you're serious, aren't you?"

"Dead serious," he said. "I know the Randle thing is still kinda there, but like I said the other week - maybe you're more over him than you realise."

Anna smiled. "And dating you might help me realise it, right?"

"Sounds about right. I know I joke about it all the time, but _you_ know I like you." Goodness he was open.

He was grinning at her again, and she wondered how she could possibly say no. There was no reason for her to say no to Henry. She liked him, after all. He was kind, funny, and sexy. He did his best to make her smile, laugh, and happy. He wasn't even a little afraid of letting her know how much he liked her.

She wanted to be over Steve and moving on was the best way to do it. Hell, with how in love with him she'd been, it might be the only way. Swallowing her sudden nervousness, she looked at Henry. She needed Steve out of her life; he and Millie and that baby weren't her business anymore, and it wasn't up to her to tell him anything.

"How about tonight?"

Henry grinned. "Pick you up at seven?"

She nodded. "Okay."

He was a good guy - good-looking, good to her, honest. But, the very best thing about Henry Phillips: he had never dated Evie.

XXXXX

Henry was kissing her and she couldn't help but like it. The idea of kissing him had made her nervous all night and she wasn't sure if it was because she really liked him, or because the last time she had kissed a boy it had turned into a disaster. It didn't matter now, though. Now he was kissing her and his thumb was sliding over the back of her neck, making her shiver …

She pulled back, taking a deep breath. She definitely liked him; there was no denying that. Looking at him, she fought the urge to kiss him again.

"I should really get inside."

He nodded, thumb still stroking her neck. "Yeah."

"I had a really good time tonight."

Henry said nothing, and her nervousness began creeping back in. She bit her lip, not sure what else to say. She didn't have to say anything when he leaned in to kiss her again, tongue slipping between her lips. She kissed back. She kissed back and it was so damn nice to have someone other than Steve Randle make her heart thump the way it was.

But there she was, thinking about Steve again, just like she had all night.

"You wanna go to Bobby's party with me tomorrow night?" Henry asked, lips brushing against hers.

"Yes." And she really did.

Pulling back, she gave him a quick grin before jumping out of his car. Henry waited until she reached the front porch before he took off down the street, and Anna sighed. Throwing herself onto the steps, she cursed Millie and Steve and that whole problem.

She hadn't been thinking of Steve like she had always thought she would, but she'd still thought about him. When first considering the idea of going out with Henry, she had thought she'd end up spending the night thinking about Steve and feeling guilty because she wasn't over him. Instead, she was thinking about him and feeling guilty because she knew deep down that she had made the wrong choice.

He deserved to know about the baby, and she was the only person who could tell him. She didn't want to tell him. Telling him meant being far too close to him than she was comfortable with, and then having to speak to him. The idea made her shake, but she had to do it. Knowing what she knew and knowing that he didn't know was eating at her. She shouldn't care, but she did.

Getting to her feet, she took a deep breath and headed toward Steve's house.

XXXXX

Opening his front door to find Anna standing in front of him had Steve confused. He hadn't seen her in a week, she hadn't turned up at his house in months, and hadn't knocked at his door like that in even longer. It reminded him of the past - which was nice, and he wasn't about to complain at having her there - but it bothered him off that she didn't turn up more often.

But she was there then and that was what mattered. What he couldn't figure out was why she was there. Their talk at school had gone … not terribly, but not great either. He might have helped her, but she had obviously been uncomfortable around him. Fighting back the urge to just ask her what the hell she was doing there, he took his time, figuring this might be as good a chance as any to see whether or not she was over him.

He stared at her for a moment, before finally saying, "Hey."

"Hi." She shuffled on her feet, every bit of visible skin he could see going red. And there was an awful lot of visible skin. In fact, she was wearing far too few clothes for late at night in December. And she looked fucking great.

He smirked. Things might be undefined and uncomfortable between them, but he knew how he felt now. And because of that, he wasn't going to _not_ check her out. Crossing his arms over his chest and leaning on the doorway, he slowly lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"You look real nice."

She blushed harder, and that _had_ to mean something.

"Thanks."

"Is this for me?" he asked, smirk growing.

"I … _no_." She frowned at him as though he were stupid, but he'd known that would be her answer even as he asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Too bad …"

She glared at him. "I went out tonight. With Henry." And then, as if he needed clarification, she added, "On a date."

There was a sharp pain in his chest and it fucking ached. It was all he could do not to grimace and show how much her words actually hurt. On a date with Henry. He looked at her; flushed skin that he now realised probably wasn't flushed because of him, short skirt and tight sweater which definitely weren't for him, and slightly swollen lips that he remembered far to well.

His stomach dropped. So she'd kissed him. That sucked.

"A date?" He'd managed to hide the grimace, but even he could hear the disappointment - when it became obvious to Anna, he refused to think of it as hurt - in his voice.

Her eyes widened and he hated himself for being so fucking transparent. "Yes."

"Did you have a good time?" he asked, voice low and bitter.

She nodded. "But, that's not why I'm here -"

"Did you sleep with him?"

Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and he hated himself for asking. He couldn't help it, though. Other than the fact that she had obviously kissed this guy, she was standing in front of _him_ and looking so damn good and he _had_ to know. The thought had come to him and instantly been said aloud.

Finally, she glared at him. "Glory, Steve. It's not any of your business whether I did or not."

He'd hoped she'd just say no and leave it at that, but her answer didn't surprise him. It also wasn't good enough. The idea of her screwing around with Phillips killed him, even if she was at his house now. He _needed_ to know, and there was only one way he'd get it out of her.

"Well, shoot, I guess it ain't." He stood straight, stepping toward her. "But, I mean, you slept with me the night we got together. What's to stop you from doin' it with Phillips, too?"

He wanted to kick himself for the shit he was saying, but he knew Anna. She might have become better at hiding some feelings, but she'd always been good at lying and keeping information to herself. If he wanted to know, he was going to have to push it out of her.

"You're an asshole," she muttered.

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked again.

Anna actually laughed. It was scornful, but it was a laugh. "What're you gonna do if I did, huh? Jump him at the Dingo like you did Ricky? Get yourself hauled in again? At least you won't have Evie watching and crying this time, though, right?"

His eyes flashed. "Ricky, of course. You jumped right back into bed with him first chance you got, so why not with Phillips -"

She slapped him and he knew he deserved it. It was a hard, stinging slap that hurt more than he could have thought and not just on his cheek. He straightened his head to look at her, not sure how to feel. He'd been in more fights that he knew, his dad pushed him around far too often, and he'd even gotten into it with his buddies a few time. But this was Anna …

"You're an asshole," she said again. Her lip trembled and she looked like she might cry.

He was silent, not sure he could get the words out even if he knew which words to use. She looked away from him and raked a shaky hand through her hair. The were both silent for what felt like minutes and he couldn't begin to wonder what she was thinking. Hell, he wasn't sure there were any coherent thoughts going through his own mind; apologies, curses, and a simple fuck off were swimming around, but he couldn't get any of them out.

Letting out what almost sounded like a sob, she finally looked back at him. "Oh, God. I … How could I -"

"Why're you here?" His voice was gruffer than he liked. It had sounded like some kind of apology was about to come out of her mouth, and he couldn't stand that. He couldn't stand her being there. He wanted her gone.

She took a step back, swallowing hard. "I saw Millie."

Steve scowled. "So?"

"Well … she's pregnant."

"You came all this way, started a fight, and slapped me, just to tell me my dad's ex-girlfriend is pregnant?"

She flinched. He still didn't know how to feel or what to think. He'd been hoping her being there could shed some light on whether or not she was over him. If she was there just to tell him Millie was knocked up, then their fight and everything that had happened in the last few minutes definitely wasn't worth it. What the fuck did he care if Millie was pregnant?

Although, if he was honest with himself, he was still reeling from the fact that Anna had slapped him. He knew he deserved a lot of the hits he scored for himself - including this one - but it was Anna. She knew what his old man was like; Two-Bit had admitted to him that he'd let it slip to her once … and maybe Steve had fooled himself into believing she still cared. He didn't know how he'd come up with that idea, but he supposed he'd always just hoped.

And maybe he was at least a little right. She'd been pissed - probably still was - but she regretted it. He could see it in her eyes and had known it the moment she met his gaze and let out that sob.

"Thing is …" she paused, swiping her hair away from her face and standing up straighter. "Thing is, she's pregnant and it's your dad's kid."

"Oh." He paused, thinking things through. "Well, she don't expect me to be the one to tell him, does she? 'Cause I ain't."

Anna shook her head. "She said she doesn't want him knowing. Him or you."

"Then why're you tellin' me?"

"Because it's a big deal. It's … it's gonna be your kid brother or sister."

_Brother or sister?_ No fucking way. He was seventeen - far too old to have a new kid brother or sister on the way. Not only that but … there was no but. Anna's words were true and he was at a loss for words and rational thoughts again. A fucking kid.

He understood why Millie didn't want his old man finding out. Steve had been around for plenty of her fights with his dad and she'd witnessed just as many of Steve's fights with him. No sane woman would want his help in raising a kid. But Steve couldn't quite understand why she didn't want _him_ knowing. He'd never done anything to her - in fact, they'd mostly always gotten along really well.

Not that it mattered. It was a kid - a _baby_ - and he knew that made it his brother or sister, but it didn't matter. Not really. He barely knew Millie, she'd only been in his life for a few months, and this kid would just be …

He didn't know how to finish that thought.

"Steve?"

Anna had stepped forward and was looking at him with what he might call concern had she not slapped him only minutes before.

He swallowed through the dryness in his throat. "You sure it's his?"

"Yeah, I kinda - well, I asked and she said it was his."

He nodded because there was nothing else he could do. The silence between them was tense as Anna stared at her Mary-janes and Steve stared into the dark night. This was too fucking much; a kid brother or sister, Anna and her fucking date … Anna slapping him and the shit he'd said.

A gust of wind swept past them and Anna shivered.

"I should go."

"Yeah."

She took a few steps backward before turning. Reaching the porch steps, she paused and turned back to him. He stared at her, waiting.

"I shouldn't've slapped you," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

The ache in his chest seemed to disappear instantly. She'd still slapped him, and she'd still been on a date, but she still cared. She cared enough to tell him about Millie, she cared enough to apologise for slapping him, and in some twisted way, she still cared enough to throw her date in his face and get as pissed at him as she did. There was no fucking doubt in his mind: she cared and very possibly wasn't over him. He nodded, fighting a smirk and knowing what he needed to know.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I've deserved it for a while."

_Watch my face,  
__As I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** You know the drill: beta'd by RileysMomma, reviews make me happy, and thanks for reading. I appreciate it :)


	6. Want to Make Her Mine

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX  
****Tuesday, January 3rd****, 1967**

_I feel so dirty when they start talkin' cute,  
__Wanna tell her that I love her,  
__But the point is probably moot._

"So, what's the plan, buddy?"

Steve looked at Two-Bit. "Plan for what?"

"For gettin' Anna back of course! I mean, I hate to say it, Stevie, but if she's dating some other guy then we really oughtta start thinkin' about some kind of plan."

"Is that what you do when you and Kathy break up?" Steve asked, smirking.

Two-Bit shook his head. "I don't need no plan when it comes to gettin' that girl back. All I hafta do it flash her a smile and she's climbin' into my bed."

"Sure she is."

"I think Anna might be a little different, though. I mean, they might be best friends, and they're both stubborn as hell …" Two-Bit paused, grimacing. "But, Kathy ain't ever been cheated on by me."

"Yeah, well …"

That did complicate things. Even if Anna did care about him - even just a tiny bit - she was still pretty pissed at him. He deserved every bad thing he got when it came to her, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He hated that they didn't talk, hated that they'd argued again on Friday night, and hated that she was dating Henry Phillips.

Henry fucking Phillips. Steve had always liked the guy until seeing him flirt with Anna that first time. Now he wanted to beat the shit out of him but wasn't quite stupid enough to do so. Jumping Phillips wouldn't do a damn thing but piss off Anna - and probably a few of Shepard's boys - and he didn't need that. What he did need was … a plan.

He looked at Two-Bit, who was opening his second candy bar. "What kinda plan have ya got in mind?"

Two-Bit grinned. "Nothin' yet, but we'll think of something. Hey, you thought about startin' shit with Phillips for messin' around with your girl?"

"Anna ain't my girl," he reluctantly admitted. "And yeah I've thought about it. It ain't gonna do me any good, though, is it?"

"It'd ease some of that tension, though."

Steve smirked. "And just get Anna pissed at me. Again."

Two-Bit nodded, but said nothing. Steve didn't mind; when he thought about it, he wasn't sure a plan to get Anna back would really work, anyway. Nothing about his relationship with her had been planned; things had always - _eventually_ - just fallen into place. He couldn't help but feel like taking things as they came was the best way to go.

Of course, that might turn out to be the worst decision he could make about it, but he'd just have to wait and see.

The only upside - and it was a very small upside - was that thinking about Anna and her goddamn date managed to keep his mind off of Millie and that entire … _thing_. Because that entire thing was fucked up and he didn't know what to do or think about it. For the moment - while he had other things on his mind - he was happy to pretend like there was nothing to do or think about it.

But, Anna … Christ, she was on his mind constantly, and he hated that she was dating Phillips. And she definitely was dating him - it hadn't been a one off. Two-Bit had told him that they'd been seen together at Bobby Miller's New Years party, and Steve had seen it for himself after stumbling across them outside his and Anna's study hall classroom not two hours ago. Flirting, touching … thankfully not kissing.

He'd tried to ignore them both, but couldn't keep the scowl off his face. Seeing them together just made him wonder exactly how far Anna had gone with the bastard. Not shoving Phillips into the nearest row of lockers had been an effort.

"So we ain't gonna start shit with Phillips?" Two-Bit asked.

"Na, man." Steve paused, not sure what else to say. He knew Two-Bit was only trying to help, but he hated having everyone know how much he wanted Anna back - even if _everyone_ was only Sodapop and Two-Bit. He didn't need them knowing how much Anna dating Phillips got to him; what he needed was to stop being so soft about it all. He needed to play it cool, just like he always had. "We'll just leave it alone. Anna's free to do what she wants."

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow. "You're kiddin' me, right? You're just gonna give up on her?"

"I ain't givin' up, I'm just not startin' shit with Phillips and gettin' myself into more shit with Anna." He paused again, hating the taste of his next words. "Anna ain't my girl and she can date whoever she wants."

"And you're just gonna let her?"

He shrugged. "What else can I do? I can't force her to be with me. All I can do is … well, I dunno yet."

"I know." Two-Bit pulled out his smokes, lit two, and handed one to Steve. "You can tell her you want her back."

Steve frowned. What kind of idiot did Two-Bit think he was?

"No, really," Two-Bit continued. "You push the idea of the two of you gettin' back together onto her and I don't think she'll be able to stop thinkin' about it."

In one way, it didn't sound like a bad idea. He supposed it could work, but he still wasn't sure of Anna's feelings for him. So she cared and he liked to think that meant she wasn't over him … but that didn't mean shit. Putting that idea into her head might work, but there was no guarantee she wouldn't just laugh in his face.

Not only that, but, shit, why the hell would he put himself out there like that? He'd done it once before with Anna - twice if he counted the shit he'd said when he'd apologised for cheating - and he'd been turned down just as many times. He wasn't so keen on that happening again. Especially knowing he deserved the rejection after all the shit he'd caused her.

Taking a drag of his smoke, he decided to stick to his original plan that he could hardly call a plan. He'd wait and see what happened. If he ended up telling her what he wanted, then so be it. He and Anna had never done anything by the books, and he wasn't about to start.

XXXXX

Despite what he'd said to Two-Bit, Steve was having a hard time sticking to his words. Leaving Henry Phillips alone was turning out much harder than he'd thought. He'd wanted to start something with the guy for weeks now, and after seeing him with Anna before study hall, he wasn't sure he could hold back. He knew it would annoy Anna, but shit, he sure hated this guy.

Sitting at one of the benches in auto shop, he watched Phillips clean the exhaust pipe he was working on, and wondered what to do. Picking a fight with the guy was his first choice because there wasn't much more he wanted than to get in one decent punch. However, starting a fight in class was the kind of stupid thing Curly Shepard did - or, more recently, Two-Bit - not Steve. He needed something better than that - something that wouldn't get him a detention or two, but would get under Phillips' skin.

As soon as their auto shop teacher was out or earshot, Steve got out of his seat and headed toward where Henry was standing. He started in on him right away.

"So, big date over break, huh?" He couldn't even make himself sound casual about it.

Henry turned to faced him, small grin on his face. "Sure was."

"Yeah, I heard you guys had a great time."

"You did, huh?"

Steve nodded. "Oh yeah, Anna stopped by to tell me all about it."

"That right?"

"Yeah, although … it wasn't very late when she turned up at my place. I guess you must've got her home pretty early. Or maybe she came straight to me after you dropped her off."

Henry grinned, still polishing the exhaust. "She came just to tell you about our date, huh? Must've really enjoyed herself to be doin' that."

His casual attitude was really starting to piss Steve off. Especially when he was being anything but subtle. Clenching his fists, he glanced at their teacher, who was still on the other side of the room.

"Or maybe she was just tryin' to get to me," he said. "You know, trying to make her ex-boyfriend jealous."

Henry snorted. "Yeah, sure."

They were silent, and Steve fought to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to piss off Anna, but he had to know.

"Did ya score?"

"Did I …" Henry eyed him carefully. "Shoot, Randle, it almost sounds like Anna managed to make you jealous whether she was trying to or not."

Steve sneered. "Fuck you."

"Maybe Anna already has," Henry said. "You'll never know, 'cause I ain't tellin' you shit."

Fucking asshole.

"You don't have to tell me a damn thing," Steve said. "I remember it well enough for myself."

Henry placed the exhaust on the bench, and glared at Steve. "You better watch what you fucking say."

He was right and Steve knew it. The last thing he wanted was to say shit about Anna that he'd regret right away, but a part of him was desperate for Phillips to know all the details of what he'd had with Anna. He wanted Phillips to know that she'd slept with Steve their first night together. He wanted to tell him how well he remembered what touching her, kissing her, fucking her felt like. He really wanted to let Phillips in on that one thing Anna had done to him the night of Two-Bit's birthday.

But he wouldn't. Shit, he couldn't. He sure wanted to piss Phillips off, but not like that. Spilling something that personal would just hurt Anna, and that wasn't what he wanted. Phillips didn't need to know about that stuff. No one did.

No one needed to know just how completely fucking jealous he was, either.

"You fucked up," Phillips said, voice much calmer. "You don't get to worry about what Anna's doin' anymore."

"Fuck you, asshole; you don't know shit!"

Steve made to walk around the bench between them, but was stopped when their auto shop teacher seemed to finally realise something was going on.

"Enough." Mr. Brown looked between the two teenage boys for a moment, before asking, "Are either of you going to tell me what the hell this is about?"

Steve said nothing, and he knew Phillips wouldn't say shit.

"Fine," Mr. Brown said. "Detention, both of you. Tomorrow afternoon. Randle, get back to your own bench.

With one last glare at Phillips, Steve headed back to his seat.

XXXXX

Doing up the buttons on her coat, Anna rushed across the school parking lot to meet Kathy. It was freezing out, and she wished it was still winter break so she could be at home where it was warm, rather than staying later at school.

"Thanks for waiting," she said, standing in front of Kathy.

"It's no problem. I had some stuff to look up in the library anyway," Kathy said, her breath visible as she spoke. "Did you get everything sorted with Miss Taylor?"

Anna nodded. Miss Taylor was her new math teacher and much more helpful than Mr. Chase had ever been. Though she was doing better in math since Steve had tutored her, she still had trouble with some things. Miss Taylor, who was now right up there with Miss Western as Anna's favourite teacher, had said she was happy to help out after school anytime. Anna was glad she'd only had to take her up on it a few times.

"Hey, before we go, there's something you should know," Kathy said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I dunno the whole story because Steve stopped talking as soon as I walked into our history class, but apparently he and Henry got into it in class today."

Anna's eyebrows rose. "What? What the hell about?"

"Take a wild guess."

"You don't mean …" Her heart thudded, and she didn't know what to think or how to finish her sentence.

"I mean you," Kathy said. "Like I said, I don't know all the details, but from what I heard, Steve was trying to start something."

Well now that didn't surprise her. That there had been something started did surprise her, but not that it was Steve who started it. She didn't get why he did it, but after his reaction to finding out about her date with Henry, she wasn't surprised he was trying to cause problems.

Her face flushed as she thought about what had happened and she hated herself for feeling so bad. Steve had deserved that slap, she didn't doubt that, but at the same time … well, at the same time she couldn't help but remember that tiny conversation she'd had with Two-Bit one afternoon.

"His dad did it," Two-Bit had said, sitting opposite her in a booth at the Dingo while Kathy was in the bathroom.

Anna played dumb, not wanting to admit she'd been staring at Steve and his black eye as he'd walked inside with Evie. "Whose dad did what?"

"Steve's black eye. His old man don't just yell at him no more."

It hadn't been mentioned again, but Anna knew Two-Bit hadn't been lying. They might have recently fought, but she knew he wouldn't lie - not about that. And that was why she felt so bad for slapping him. Yes, it had been deserved after everything he'd said and done - and not just that night - but at the same time, being slapped by _her_ really wasn't something he deserved.

She sighed. Her own feelings on the matter didn't even make sense to herself, all she knew was that apologising to him like she had that night had been the right thing to do. And the words that had followed - his _knowledge_ that he had deserved it for a while …

Pushing those thoughts away, she looked at Kathy. "Why would he do that?"

"I dunno."

She frowned. "I just had English with Henry; why wouldn't he say anything?"

"Um, because he's a guy. He doesn't want his girlfriend knowin' that her ex-boyfriend is picking on him."

"Henry's not my boyfriend."

Kathy smirked. "Not yet."

She ignored that, returning to what was really bugging her. "Why would Steve do that, though? Henry's _not_ my boyfriend, but Steve shouldn't be saying anything to him."

"Maybe he's jealous."

Anna shook her head, but could clearly see the look Steve had given her when she first mentioned her date. She didn't know what it was, but wasn't sure she wanted to, either.

"He could be," Kathy continued. "I know it's been months, but this is the first time you've shown any interest in another guy since him. Maybe he doesn't like that."

Anna was glad her best friend decided against mentioning that mess with Ricky. She still wasn't convinced that Steve was jealous, but he sure was acting it.

"He can't be jealous," she said. "He made his decision about me a long time ago. Not when he cheated - which I'm _almost_ at the place where I can _almost_ understand that it was a misunderstanding - but when he got back together with Evie and stayed with her for more than two months."

Kathy said nothing and Anna was glad. The surprise of Steve starting something with Henry had had her talking about him much more than she liked to do. Tapping her fingers on the hood of Kathy's car, she glanced around the parking lot. Steve was sitting on the hood of his car with Ponyboy. If she had to guess, she'd say they were waiting for Two-Bit, who she knew for a fact had detention.

"Go and ask him."

Anna looked back at Kathy. "You're kiddin', right?"

Kathy shrugged. "You wanna know what his problem is? Ask him. He'll probably deny everything, but you might as well ask."

Sure, except that asking meant being near him and talking to him. She'd done that twice since September, and still didn't feel any better about it. Trying not to give it much more thought than that, she nodded.

"You're right." She glanced at Steve again. "Will you wait for me?"

"Of course."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded again, and headed in the direction of Steve's car. She didn't know what she'd say or what he'd say or if this was even a good idea. It didn't feel like a good idea, but she couldn't stop herself. It wasn't like it used to be, when she _needed_ to be near him, but she still couldn't make herself turn around and just forget about it. Forget about him.

His gaze met hers as she reached him and Ponyboy, and he didn't say or do anything. Instead, he blew a few smoke rings and flicked the ash off of his cigarette. She scowled.

"What's your problem?" she asked.

"Ain't got a problem."

Her scowl quickly became a frown. "Well, that's a damn lie and you know it."

"Ah, I think I'll leave y'all to it," Ponyboy said. He jumped down from the car and headed toward George Silvers.

Steve still said nothing, even with Ponyboy gone, and Anna had the sudden urge to shake him. She'd put up with his unwillingness to talk in the past, but now it was just frustrating.

"What did you say to him?"

"Who? Pony?"

"Stop playing dumb," she snapped. "You must've said something to get a rise outta Henry."

Steve shrugged. "So what if I did?"

"Are you kidding me? You realise that by doin' that you're actin' just like Ricky did when - when we were together," she said, struggling with the last few words.

"I ain't actin' anything like him," Steve said, glaring at her.

Kathy's idea was out of her lips before she could stop it. "You're acting like a jealous fool."

Steve smirked, and threw his smoke away. Climbing down from his car, he stood right in front of her.

"Maybe I am a jealous fool."

She nodded. "You're also hilarious. Been spendin' a lot of time with Two-Bit lately, huh?"

"Na, it's just called honesty." And with the way he was staring at her, standing so close to her, talking to her … she almost believed him.

"You - you're not serious."

"Shit, Anna. Of course I am," he said. "And you shouldn't be so damn surprised; you know things ain't over between us - never have been."

She shook her head, dumbfounded. "No. No, things were over between us the moment you went running to Evie."

"Evie was a mistake."

"One that lasted for over two months?"

He shrugged. "One I'd do anything to fix."

There was tightening in her stomach, and she took a step back. She opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. Finally, with a sick feeling in her stomach, she turned and left.

'_Cause she's watching him with those eyes,  
__And she's lovin' him with that body,  
__I just know it._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and everyone who has reviewed.


	7. Running in Circles

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "The Scientist" by Coldplay.

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN  
****Friday, January 6****th****, 1967**

_Nobody said it was easy,  
__It's such a shame for us to part._

Perfect. Just damn perfect.

Anna slowed her steps, wondering why it was that whenever she was having a bad day, Steve Randle had to go and make it worse just by existing. That might have been a bit dramatic; it wasn't as though she wanted him dead, but shoot, she didn't want to see him, either. Especially when she was already on edge.

Three of her fingertips were still stinging after accidentally burning them in Home Ec; Ricky had seemed to decide that finding Anna and Anita together at lunchtime was the perfect opportunity to get in a few more nasty comments about the both of them; Henry had told her that he wouldn't be at Buck's that night because of some work he had to do with Tim and the gang; and to begin the fantastic day she'd had, she and Danny had fought about Grandpa Joe again that morning, resulting in her being late to class and earning a detention that afternoon.

A detention she was heading toward when she noticed three people coming down the hall toward her. She sighed; goddamn her bad luck. Looking wildly around the near empty hallway, she wished for way out. Unfortunately, just as she spotted the girl's bathroom, one of the boys in front of her looked ready to break into a song and dance as he caught sight of her.

"Anna! Lovely to see you this fine afternoon."

She closed her eyes briefly, silently cursing Two-Bit. Opening them again, she continued walking and met him, Steve, and Ponyboy in the hallway.

"Where ya headin'?" Two-Bit asked.

"Um, detention."

She tried hard not to look at Steve, she really did. But even as she answered Two-Bit, her gaze slid toward him. He was staring right at her, small smirk on his lips, and watching her in a way that made it impossible for her to hold his stare. She'd managed to successfully avoid him for three days now, only seeing him in study hall. She didn't want to deal with him and what he'd said.

"Detention, huh?" Two-Bit scratched his head. "Well shoot, if I'd known you had detention I woulda found a way to join ya."

She couldn't help but grin at that. "I thought you had a million detentions after that fight in the hall a few weeks back?"

"Finished yesterday."

"Right." She stared at the floor. "Well, I really oughtta get goin'."

"Stay a while," Two-Bit said. "Miss Taylor's doin' detentions this week, and she won't care if you turn up late."

Well, that might have been true, but she needed to leave. She could feel Steve's gaze burning into her and she couldn't stand it.

She had gone over nearly every word he had said to her on Tuesday, trying to decide just how serious he had been, and she still wasn't sure. Everything about him had seemed so sincere, but admitting his feelings the way he had was so unlike him. Why would he say it if it wasn't true? Why would it be true? Her thoughts had been going back and forward like that constantly.

One thing she had refused to do, though, was consider just what it meant if he really _was_ jealous. In fact, she had unsuccessfully tried to block out every word he'd said after admitting he was jealous, because she couldn't think about that without feeling a little sick. Christ, she couldn't believe the things he'd said.

She frowned, looking at Two-Bit. "I should really -"

"Hey, what's this?" As much as she wanted to leave, Two-Bit seemed to decide that was the perfect time to steal her notebook … and it really shouldn't have surprised her.

"_Two-Bit_. Give that back."

He held it over his head as she tried to grab it, and grinned. "I don't think so."

She rolled her eyes at him and the chuckles coming from both Steve and Ponyboy. "C'mon, Two-Bit. We ain't in kindergarten no more."

"That's true." He nodded, lowering his arm. "I s'pose if we were all in kindergarten, you and Stevie would still be kissin' next to the sandpit."

An involuntary glance at Steve showed he was still smirking at her, obviously amused by Two-Bit's words, and the heat of his gaze and Two-Bit's talk of kissing made her far too warm. She looked away, blushing.

"Seriously," she said. "I need that book."

"You do, huh?" He flipped through the pages. "Math! Wow, how about that?" He looked at her, eyebrow cocked. "How _is_ your math goin' these days? Ya know, without havin' a tutor to help you out?"

"It's goin' just fine, but I have homework and need my notebook."

"Oh …" He slowly circled her, and she followed, glad to have Steve out of her line of vision. "Does that mean a game of keep-away is out of the question?"

Despite his constant easy grin, Anna knew he wasn't kidding. He and his buddies would throw her book to each other over her head all damn night if they felt like it.

"Don't you dare."

"Don't what? Throw the book to Pony?" His grin widened, and he raised an eyebrow. "How about Stevie?"

Of course. This wasn't Two-Bit picking on her for the sake of picking on her. This was Two-Bit picking on her so she couldn't leave and had to stay around Steve for longer. All it did was frustrate her and make her think about things she didn't want to think about.

"C'mon, Two-Bit. Give me my book."

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

Then he did exactly what she had been dreading, and threw her book to Ponyboy. Anna sighed, turning to look at Pony. She hardly knew the kid, but she was pretty sure he didn't like her much, and that it was just because she had dated Steve, who he didn't get along with. He held the book in his hands, staring at it as though wondering what to do with it.

"Pony …"

He looked at her, glanced behind her, then finally shrugged and handed the book to Steve. Her heart thudded and she wanted to cry. She didn't want to do this yet. It might have just been trying to get a book back from him, but she didn't want to talk to him yet. Not after everything he'd said …

What she wanted was to hate him. His words hadn't changed that desperate need, but they sure hadn't helped, either.

Slowly, she looked up at him, meeting his gaze. He stared right back for a long moment, as though waiting for her to say something, and it wasn't until she was about ready to do so that he finally looked away. He stared at the book, flipping it over in his hands. A few seconds later, he spoke.

"I hear Tim's got his boys out workin' tonight."

She nodded, though he wasn't looking at her. "Yeah."

He said nothing and held the book out to her. Hand shaking, she reached for it. He wouldn't let go, and she looked up into his eyes. "You'll be at Buck's tonight?"

She nodded again. Buck was having a party that night, and despite having work in the morning, she, Kathy, Anita, and Linda Jones had decided to go.

Steve smirked. "See ya there." He finally let go of the book and walked past her.

Taking a shuddering breath, she held the book to her chest. She needed to not think about him - about what he'd said. Refusing to glance behind her, she hurried the rest of the way to detention.

XXXXX

It was still confusing the hell out of him, but Millie had been on Steve's mind more and more the last few days. He wanted to believe it was because - for some completely fucked up reason - he'd gone and told Anna he was jealous. There wasn't much to do or say or think about her now, and the ball was in her court. That wasn't it, though. Fact was, he was just curious. Curious about Millie and the kid. It was a whole new situation for him.

There wasn't anything he could do about it, even if he knew what he wanted to do. She didn't want to see him - hell, she didn't even want him to know about the kid. And sometimes, he wished he didn't. The idea of having a brother or sister was too huge for him to really comprehend.

A part of him _did_ wish Anna had just kept the whole thing to herself, but at the same time, he wanted to know more. He wasn't sure what else there was to know, but he didn't feel good about knowing Millie was pregnant and not doing anything about it.

He sighed; too damn confusing.

Kicking at a stone on the footpath he was walking, his mind went to the party at Buck's that night. It was still a few hours away, but he was heading to Soda's, and Two-Bit was going to pick them up in an hour or so. They'd all head to Buck's, where Anna would be without Henry fucking Phillips. He couldn't help but be thankful for his good luck.

Why he'd admitted anything to her on Tuesday was a complete fucking mystery to him. She hadn't given him any indication of any of her feelings, but he'd spilled his guts anyway. He'd given it a lot of thought since, and a part of him was sure Anna still wanted him - at least in some way. That girl had been crazy for him, and he _knew_ there were still some feelings there. She wouldn't have opened up to him if there weren't, and things wouldn't be so damn intense between them.

But not for the first time, he might just be getting ahead of himself. He knew there was a reason Anna had once called him a cocky bastard. Though he couldn't help but think it did him well. A little cockiness and honesty on Tuesday, and his words had definitely made an impression on her. Maybe. Fuck it, he didn't care if they had or not. If he wanted her back, then he was going to have to do whatever it took to get her.

Turning the corner, he immediately spotted Two-Bit's old car parked up ahead. It was another few seconds before he noticed his buddy laying slumped against the side of the car, in obvious pain.

"Fuck." He quickened his pace, dropping to his knees next to Two-Bit once he reached him. "Two-Bit? Hey, buddy. Wake up, man."

He was awake, but barely. Steve shook his arm with one hand while the other lifted his face to get a better look. He hissed in a breath at the damage, remembering when Johnny had been hurt. It wasn't that bad, but he didn't think he'd ever seen Two-Bit this hurt before.

"Two-Bit?" He shook him again. "C'mon, man."

"Stevie?" His eyes opened blearily.

Steve let out the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "What the hell happened?"

Two-Bit groaned as Steve helped him to his feet. "River Kings."

"Where're your keys?"

"Dunno. They threw them somewhere."

Steve sighed. They were only a couple of minutes from Soda's, but Two-Bit could barely stand by himself. Throwing one of Two-Bit's arms over his shoulder, and his own arm around Two-Bit's waist, he led them down the road. He'd go looking for Two-Bit's keys later.

"Came outta nowhere, man," Two-Bit said. "It wasn't even fuckin' dark and they start this shit."

"What'd they do?"

"Rammed into the back of my car." Two-Bit sighed, carrying a bit more of his own weight. "I know I should've just kept drivin', but I think I'm a little soused. Didn't even think about ignoring them."

Steve just nodded; it had never been uncommon for Two-Bit to start drinking early on a Friday.

"They were on me as soon as I got outta the car. There were only three of them, but they got me pretty quick … threw away my keys and beat the shit outta me." Two-Bit shook his head. "The one day I don't bother carryin' a blade."

"Anything broken?" Steve asked, realising he probably should've asked sooner.

Two-Bit laughed. "Just my pride, buddy."

XXXXX

Sneaking outside seemed like the best idea. Anna felt terrible for Kathy, who was trying to quietly break up with Two-Bit in a corner - though Anna couldn't even figure out why Two-Bit was at Buck's when he was hurt the way he was - and surprised by Soda, who had been flirting with Anita all night.

Pushing her windblown hair out of her face, she immediately turned around the side of the building and leaned against it. The memory of kissing Steve in that exact spot coursed through her, and she tried to ignore it the way she had been ignoring Steve all night. After the day she'd had, she decided being dramatic and calling it a miracle he hadn't seen her slip outside was okay.

He was confusing her and she didn't like it. Nor did she like the fact that his words had been ringing in her ears all afternoon. Not his promise of seeing her that night, or his claim of jealousy, but the words she'd been avoiding for days now.

_You know things ain't over between us - never have been._

And glory, he was right.

She had tried to kid herself that all there was left between the two of them was anger, hurt, and a history. That was all bull, though, and she knew it. It didn't matter what had happened in the past, there was definitely still something there. She felt it, constantly. She couldn't help but think that her refusal to think about those words had just been her putting off the inevitable. Things had never been over between her and Steve, and she had a feeling she'd always known it.

It didn't matter, though. He might have left her alone for months, just like she wanted him to. He might have broken up with Evie, just to keep what had happened between them the night Dally and Johnny died private. He might want to fix the mistake he'd made by getting back together with Evie in the first place. But none of it mattered. He'd still cheated, he'd still gotten back together with Evie, and he'd still said horrible things to her last week.

And, she was dating Henry. They'd only been dating this last week, but they had been out a few times and she was definitely dating Henry - who she'd barely thought about all night. That was Steve's fault. Steve and his stupid words of being jealous and wanting to fix his mistake and things not being over between them …

She sighed. She had a feeling she would never feel right about Steve again. She wasn't sure what right was - she knew she wanted right to be indifferent, but she didn't think it would happen. The way he looked at her, staring at her so intently … it wasn't supposed to be that way. They had broken up and she was supposed to hate him.

She didn't hate him. In fact, her anger was fading more and more everyday. Especially since slapping him last week. But the worst part of it all was that there was still a part of her that wanted him, and despite dating Henry, that part didn't seem to be getting any smaller.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she pushed away all thoughts of Steve. What she really wanted was to go home, but for now, had to be content with being out of Buck's.

"Hey." Steve's voice floated toward her, and she slowly opened her eyes.

She didn't greet him in turn, but didn't tell him to get lost either. She should have, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, she just watched him. He started toward her, away from the noise in the parking lot, and just as she had many times before, she forced herself not to run.

"Whaddya doin' out here?"

She shrugged. "Nothing."

"Ain't you cold?"

"No."

They were silent, and Anna realised it wasn't uncomfortable that she felt around Steve. It should have been; after everything that had happened, uncomfortable sure seemed like the right thing to be feeling. Instead it was just tense and hard and unfair.

"How's things with Phillips?" he asked.

"Things with Henry are just fine."

Steve scowled, but said nothing else. After a few moments, Anna spoke up.

"Have you thought much about Millie?" She told herself she was asking because she was curious, not because she cared.

He shrugged. "What's to think about. She didn't want me to know."

"But you do know. You could go see her if you wanted."

He seemed to actually consider her words. "I guess."

More silence fell again, and Steve continued to watch her. Blushing, Anna looked away, those damn memories of him and Buck's and kissing were spreading like wildfire over her skin. After taking a few breaths, she looked at him, only then realising how close he was standing. He was right in front of her, only inches between them, and her heart thudded. He shouldn't have this kind of affect on her.

"I've missed you," he said, voice so much huskier than she liked.

Her eyes widened. That wasn't Steve. Just like when he had confessed to being jealous, he was coming out with all these words that sounded like feelings … without someone else doing it first. She looked into his eyes, and there was no mistaking the way he was looking at her. Her heart melted. She had tried so hard to forget about him …

Forgetting was hard when she couldn't stop loving him.

"You've missed me?" Her own voice was soft, confused. She hated herself for wanting it to be true.

Steve lifted his hand, catching a piece of her hair between his fingers. Her breath hitched. She should push him away, tell him to get lost, give into her urge to run. How the hell did he do this to her?

She kept her gaze on him, letting his closeness intoxicate her and letting him charm her with a simple touch. He'd always been able to do that to her, and months of not being together hadn't changed it. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes when he dropped her hair and lightly ran his fingers over her cheek.

"Yeah, I've missed you," he said again, a whisper from right in front of her. She could feel his warm breath on her cool skin, and involuntarily shivered. "And I'm gonna get you back."

Her eyes fluttered open. He was smirking at her. Not a nasty smirk, but a soft, possibly cocky smirk. She tried to glare, but all she could do was watch him lean forward. He was going to get her back … he wanted her back?

He was still leaning closer, and she couldn't stop him even if she wanted to. His fingertips felt rough but gentle against her skin, and she took a shaky breath. He was going to kiss her, she knew it. What was completely messed up about it, was that she was going to let him.

Bustling laughter floated toward them and Anna pulled away. She blinked, coming to her senses and feeling a fresh wave of self-hate flow over her. She couldn't let him do this to her. He had hurt her too damn much.

"I have to go," she said, not looking at him.

She slid away from him, and pushed past Two-Bit and Soda, who had interrupted them.

Two-Bit laughed as she walked away. "Sorry, buddy. And with the way Anna's been gettin' around lately, you probably would've gotten lucky had we not turned up."

She turned, just in time to see Steve throw a punch into Two-Bit's unbruised cheek.

_Nobody said it was easy,  
__No one ever said it would be this hard._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. This will be my last update until the new year - Good Fic Day - so I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!


	8. Gotta Know the Enemy

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT  
****Sunday, January 8****th****, 1967**

_Overthrow the effigy,  
__The vast majority,  
__We're burning down the bargain of control._

It was freezing out, but Steve had quickly decided he'd rather do his homework outside in the cold than inside near his old man. His dad seemed to be in an okay mood, but there was no way of knowing how long that would last. He figured it was easier to be outside and ready to go if his dad decide to kick him out for no reason.

Of course, planning to sit outside and do homework was one thing. Actually doing the homework was a whole other thing. He couldn't even blame it on the cold, not when he couldn't stop thinking about Anna and Two-Bit.

Anna, Christ. Well, at least he knew she felt something for him. He supposed she might have just been affected by his closeness, but he doubted it. He'd seen the look in her eyes - the shock, the hurt, the affection. His closeness had definitely affected her, but not just in the way that made her unable to stop him from getting closer. There was no longer any doubt in his mind that she still had feelings for him.

There was also no doubt that she was still hurt and angry when it came to him and everything he had done. He couldn't blame her - he deserved it - but it would make things hard. But the way she seemed to dissolve at his touch would help him. It would help him a whole fucking lot.

He sighed, frustrated as hell, but happy with what he'd pulled off on Friday night. He'd been so damn close to kissing her, and it hadn't even been something he'd considered until the moment arrived. After finding out neither Phillips or Danny would be at Buck's, he'd been hoping to catch a moment alone with Anna, but he'd never even hoped for what he'd gotten.

He'd never even imagined that she'd let him that close to her. He could still feel her skin on his fingertips and he wanted more. So much more. She'd let him touch her, stand so fucking close to her, and he knew she would have let him kiss her had Two-Bit and Soda not turned up.

Two-Bit. Speak of the fucking Devil.

"Hey, buddy," Two-Bit said, standing on the porch in front of him.

Steve moved his books for Two-Bit to sit next to him on the old, outdoor couch. "Hey, man."

Two-Bit sat, but stayed silent. After a few moments, he pulled out his smokes, lit two, and handed one to Steve. Steve took it, checking out Two-Bit's bruises and feeling awful for adding to them. He didn't know where Two-Bit had been the day before, but Steve hadn't seen hide nor hair of him since hitting him Friday; he hadn't visited him and Soda at work, he hadn't turned up at the Curtis house, and he hadn't been anywhere along the Ribbon when Steve and Soda had gone out the night before.

"Listen, Stevie, about the other night -"

"It's cool."

"It ain't cool, man. I shouldn't have said that shit about Anna. Not just 'cause she's your girl, but I mean, she's supposed to be my buddy, too, you know?"

Steve nodded. Despite how badly he'd wanted to kiss Anna, it hadn't been the interruption that had made him hit Two-Bit - he could deal with that. The problem had been Two-Bit's words. Steve might have said shit about her and Phillips, and her and Ricky, but he wasn't about to let anyone else do it. Especially not one of his buddies.

"Forget it, man," he said. "Anna ain't my girl. Anyway, I shouldn't've hit you for it."

"Aw, shoot. I deserved that." Two-Bit paused, taking a drag of his smoke. "You know Kathy dumped me again?"

"I heard somethin' about that."

"Can't blame her. I've been acting like a real shit lately, and everything that happened Friday night only proves that."

Steve frowned. "The River Kings still shouldn't have jumped you like they did."

"I've been riling them up an awful lot," Two-Bit said. "Can't seem to help myself with the shit I say most of the time. Haven't been able to keep my trap shut for a while now."

Since Dally and Johnny died. Steve stared out at the falling snow and said nothing. He supposed talking about it might help, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd made Anna do it after her grandpa had died, but making Two-Bit, his buddy, talk about Johnny and Dallas, was different. And hard. Hell, he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about them himself, let alone make Two-Bit do it.

"So, I was thinkin'," Two-Bit said, grinning like his usual self. "I oughtta make up for what I said."

Steve smirked. "I think we called even when I punched you."

"Maybe. But, c'mon; let me help you fuck with Phillips." Two-Bit turned to face him, getting excited. "I got a great idea to piss him off. And he'll know it's you - hell, everyone'll know it's you, but no one, not even Anna, will be able to prove it."

He thought about it. Getting at Phillips sure sounded good. Last time hadn't seemed to make things any worse with Anna than what they had been. He was just about to ask Two-Bit what his idea was when Tim Shepard's car pulled up in front of them.

Steve waited, half expecting Phillips to climb out and beat the shit out of him. Instead, Tim and Danny climbed out, and he wasn't sure that was much better. Last time Danny had turned up at his house, it _had_ been to beat the shit out of him.

Not that Steve could blame Danny. He might want Anna back, and he might be willing to do anything to get her, but it had been a while since he'd messed up and he was able to take responsibility for what he'd done. Danny looking as though he wanted to beat the shit out of him again was understandable. Hell, it had been understandable last time, too, and that was why Steve's fighting back had been half-assed.

He narrowed his eyes; they weren't on good terms, and probably never would be. The guy might have had his back in the rumble a few months ago, but Steve knew he still hated his guts. And he could still hear his words far too clearly for his liking.

"I just spent the last hour watching my sister fucking cry over you, you son of a bitch," Danny had spat. "Come near her again, and you won't be able to fuck around on or with anyone again."

It wasn't Danny's threat that had stuck with him, but his words about Anna crying. The most he'd seen her cry was a few sobs and tears, lasting no more than a minute. Knowing that Danny hadn't been exaggerating, Steve had wallowed, feeling bad for himself, but even worse for Anna.

A part of him thought it was the memory of those words that made him finally leave her alone after Dally and Johnny had died. That and the look in her eyes that night.

"Heya, fellas," Two-Bit said, cheerfully.

Tim smirked. "I heard you got into it with a few of Hamilton's boys on Friday."

"Fucker's got me good."

"And here I thought they were only after me and my boys."

Two-Bit grinned. "Probably was until I started pissing them off every other day."

"Two of them got Curly last night, too."

"I thought he was still in juvie?" Steve asked.

Tim nodded. "Sure is. They probably wouldn't've got him so damn good if he wasn't."

"He gonna be okay?"

"He'll be fine; cracked a rib or two, and he swears he can't see outta one eye, but he's a tough kid when he's not acting like an idiot." Tim paused, lighting up a smoke. "Hamilton was trying to send a message, not kill him."

Steve met Two-Bit's gaze. "What kinda message?"

"The kind where he's gonna do whatever he can to get me to start somethin' with him. I ain't willin' to get into it with him before I have to, but it's gonna come to a rumble eventually and I gotta know if you and the Curtis boys are in."

"What's all this about?" Two-Bit asked.

"We've got beef from a while back," Danny said. "We might've pissed off Rex Hamilton more than we should've."

"Ain't hard," Two-Bit muttered. "But how'd ya do that?"

Danny and Tim were both silent as they glanced at each other, and Steve had to assume that whatever it was, it was big. Finally, Tim nodded slightly.

"Y'all know about the shootin' at the Dingo last year?" Danny asked. He continued when Steve and Two-Bit nodded. "Well, that bullet Vinnie Mort shot might've originally been meant for Hamilton, and that - along with the gun - might've been supplied by us."

"And Hamilton definitely knows about it," Tim said.

That was definitely big.

Two-Bit shrugged. "I'm in. It might be your fight, but these guys have been pissing me off for weeks now."

Tim and Danny nodded their thanks, and looked at Steve. Getting involved in this probably wasn't their smartest move, but after the way the River Kings had been hassling Two-Bit, he wasn't about to say no. Plus, he was hanging out for a fight that didn't end with him getting kicked out of home.

He nodded. "I'm in."

XXXXX

Anna sat at her kitchen table with Kathy, tapping her pencil along with the song on the radio, while attempting to do her homework. It wasn't going well. In fact, not much had gone well all weekend.

Goddamn Steve Randle. The same thoughts seemed to be running through her head lately. If only she could hate him. If only he didn't have such an intense affect on her. If only she hadn't almost let him kiss her. And, once again, the things he had said; he was giving her a damn headache with all these words he was sprouting.

So he wanted her back. At least that's what he claimed. She shook her head. There had been nothing but truth to his words and she knew it. Steve wasn't an open book where his thoughts and feelings were concerned - he was the complete opposite, in fact - and he wouldn't say something like that if it wasn't true. Especially when he knew there was a chance of being turned down.

A really, really high chance. Because, hell, he'd cheated on her with her own cousin.

"Anna." Kathy yanked her pencil out from her fingers.

She frowned. "What?"

"You've been staring out the window and tapping for the last five minutes," Kathy said. "What's goin' on?"

Normally when what was going on was Steve - which was more often than she liked to admit - she'd lie. She didn't like talking about him. Thinking about him was bad enough. She was a good liar, and could usually fake her way out of these situations, but this time was different. Things with Steve were different.

"It's just … it's Steve."

Kathy sighed. "What'd he do?"

Anna didn't even know how to answer that. "Nothing really, except …"

"Except what?"

"He's being - shoot, I don't even know what he's being, but he's confusing the hell outta me."

Kathy shook her head. "Glory, Anna. I have no idea what you're talkin' about."

Anna looked at her. "He said he wants me back."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Well, not in those exact words, but he said he's gonna get me back."

She could practically hear the shock and anger rising in Kathy. Sitting back, she waited for the outburst she knew would come. Kathy hardly ever mentioned Steve, and Anna knew it was for her sake, but she was pretty sure Kathy was just waiting for the day it was okay for her to badmouth him without it bothering Anna. She could hear the resentment in Kathy's voice the few times she did mention him.

"_What_? I s'pose he thinks he can just say those words and you'll go running, right?"

"No." Anna picked her pencil back up. "He knows I'm not."

Kathy watched her for a moment, and Anna could feel the scrutiny of the stare.

"But you want to." It wasn't even a question.

"Of course not," Anna said, and her voice was steady despite the twisting in her stomach.

She hated herself for it - something that was becoming a common occurrence - but a part of her did. A part of her literally wanted to go running back into Steve's arms and pretend like the last six months had never happened. She missed him. As hurt as she was, and as much as she definitely hadn't forgiven him, she still missed him. So damn much.

And since his words, his closeness, his _touch_, on Friday, the feelings she'd thought she'd pushed down as far as they could go, had shot straight back up. She'd known she wasn't over Steve, that she still had some feelings for him, but everything he'd done to her the last week had made it that much more obvious.

It was hard to move on when he wasn't letting her. She sure wished she could hate him.

Kathy shifted in her seat. "Anna, I know I ain't the best person to give advice about relationships, and that this is pretty damn hypocritical coming from me, but think about what he did to you. He _slept_ with Evie."

"I know exactly what he did to me," Anna snapped. Taking a breath, she continued, calmer. "I know, okay? It's just hard. I tried to pretend he didn't exist, but now … it's really hard."

"I know."

Of course Kathy knew - she went through it every couple of months with Two-Bit. Anna figured that was exactly how Kathy saw through her lies. She might claim to be over Steve, but there was a reason Kathy didn't bring him up very often.

"What about Henry?" Kathy asked.

Anna frowned, guilt running through her. She hadn't kissed Steve, but she would have. There was nothing official about her and Henry, but she sure felt terrible for what she had almost done. Even the technicality that Henry wasn't her boyfriend didn't help matters, because she knew that he wanted to be her boyfriend.

If Sodapop and Two-Bit hadn't turned up when they had then she didn't know what could have happened. She and Soda hadn't talked in months, and Two-Bit had been a complete jerk with what he had said, but she sure was grateful they'd interrupted. And she refused to think about the fact that Steve had punched his already beat-up buddy in her defence.

She shook her head. "You know what? There is no 'what about Henry'. He's the guy I'm dating because I want to be dating him. That's it. In fact, he's picking me up later."

Kathy raised an eyebrow. "You sure he's who you want?"

Anna nodded. There might have been a part of her that wanted Steve, but that wasn't going to happen. Not after what he'd done, and not when it still hurt too much to be near him.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm sure."

XXXXX

Anna leaned against Henry as they left the Dingo. It was quieter than usual for a Sunday night, but she wasn't complaining. Not quite at the stage where she was willing to be alone with Henry at his house, she was happy to hang out at the near-empty Dingo.

"And you're sure Curly's gonna be okay?" she asked.

"Positive. The kid's tough; he can handle himself."

She nodded. "Good."

She couldn't help but remember the ride home he'd given her the night Steve had slept with Evie. The last person she'd expected to understand her mood and take her home without any questions had been fifteen-year-old Curly Shepard, but he'd been pretty decent and she appreciated it.

It was just horrible to hear he'd been jumped in reform school. She didn't know what the deal was with the River Kings and all the problems they were causing, but she was pretty sure she didn't want to know, either. Not knowing about the kind of trouble Danny got himself into was much better than knowing and worrying even more than she already did. So long as he didn't come home with wounds that couldn't be fixed at home, then she could deal with it.

"When does he get out of juvie?" she asked.

"You know, I really don't know. His injuries ain't bad enough to be let out early, but I don't think they're keeping him any longer for fighting - sunnuva bitch." Henry stopped mid-step, dropping his arm from Anna's shoulder.

"What's wrong - oh."

Anna stared at Henry's car. She didn't know much of anything about cars. When she'd been with Steve and they'd double dated with Soda and Sandy, she and Sandy had had to sit through talk of carburettors, transmissions, and spark plugs, not understanding a word of it. They'd had to listen to stories of cars that had come into the DX, cars they'd seen in the street, and cars Steve had stolen hubcaps from.

She didn't know much about cars, but she did know that there had been hubcaps on Henry's car when they'd gone inside the Dingo.

XXXXX

Anna was pissed off. Steve could tell just by the way she was glaring at him, and he couldn't stop the smirk. She was pissed at him, and he was sure she thought she had every right to be, but he wasn't going to complain. Every now and then he could get farther with her when she was pissed off than when she wasn't.

"Give them back," she said, the moment she reached his front porch.

He eyed her for a moment before glancing at Two-Bit. "You know what she's talkin' about?"

"Not a clue."

He looked back at Anna, shrugging. "Can't help ya if I don't know what's goin' on."

Anna crossed her arms over her chest, scoffing. Gosh, she looked pretty. After the way he'd been interrupted on Friday night, going all day Saturday and most of Sunday without seeing her sucked.

"You know exactly what's goin' on," she said. "You took Henry's hubs!"

"I did? Why would I do something like that?"

She gaped at him, and he raised an eyebrow. Despite all the shit between them, it felt good to rile her up again. Getting her flustered about something other than what a shithead he'd been sure was fun.

"You …" She seemed to be at a loss for words. "Steve! I know you took them."

"And how d'you know that?"

"We went into the Dingo for a Coke - that's it. Ain't no one else in this town who could've taken them as quickly and sneakily as you did."

His smirk grew at her words. Anna blushed, biting her lower lip like she wanted to take the words back and never let them out. He swallowed, feeling like nothing had changed, because all he wanted was to suck that plump lip into his mouth. He stared at it a moment, before giving her a meaningful look. She went even redder and looked away.

Two-Bit chuckled. "And here I thought you were datin' Henry. I ain't so sure he'd be happy to hear ya sayin' such nice things about another guy. Especially Stevie here."

"After the way you spoke about me the other night, you can shut your goddamn trap, Two-Bit," she snapped. Two-Bit had the decency to look ashamed as Anna turned back to Steve. "He wants them back."

"And he sent you to do his dirty work for him?" Steve asked. "Glory, Anna, that's low."

"He didn't send me to do anything. I offered."

"Had to see me, huh? I know we got interrupted the other night, but you don't need some excuse about hubcaps to come see me." He gave her a once over. "You're welcome anytime."

She ignored that. "Are you gonna give them back or not?"

"Ain't got them."

"I don't believe you."

He kept his gaze on her, all jokes over. "You should," he said. "I ain't been anything but honest with you."

Anna frowned. She seemed to stumble over her words for a moment before finally spitting something out. "Fine. If you don't have them then there's no need for me to be here."

She left. Steve let out a sigh, and grabbed his comb out of his pocket. Running it through his hair, he glanced at Two-Bit.

"Think I should've given them back?"

"Na. Let her believe you for a while. You can tell her once you've got her back and she won't be so pissed." Two-Bit grinned. "Anyway, it ain't liked you lied; the hubs are at my place, not here."

_Silence is the enemy,  
__Against your urgency,  
__So rally up the demons of your soul._

* * *

**A/N:** I'm a few hours late for my promised Good Fic Day update. Sorry 'bout that. New Years ran a little longer than expected, lol. Hope you all had a good one.

Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Feel free to point out any mistakes. My final edit before posting was a little rushed, but I wanted to get this out tonight.


	9. Fill in the Holes You've Made

**Disclaimer:** I do now own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Thistle & Weeds" by Mumford and Sons.

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE  
****Wednesday, January 11th****, 1967**

_Spare me your judgments and spare me your dreams,  
_'_Cause recently mine have been tearing my seems._

One thing Steve had always pathetically noticed about the class he shared with Anna was that it was right before lunch, just as their math class had been the year before. What bothered him about it - and what made him realise it in the first place - was that unlike math last year, they never left class together anymore. Entirely his doing, he knew that, but it still pissed him off.

What he hated the most, though, was that things were worse between them now than they had been last year _before_ he'd started tutoring her. He hadn't thought it possible, but it was what it was and the last few months had been torture. He actually missed the dislike they'd had for each other because it was a hell of a lot better than the outright hate he was sometimes sure Anna felt for him.

Half-concentrating on his English essay, his gaze drifted from the paper to the door every few seconds. He might have stopped talking to her for months, he might have stopped talking about her for months, but he'd never stopped watching her. Not in a creepy way, and always as subtly as he could, but when she only gave him the time of day when she was standing up for the guy she was dating, checking her out was pretty much all he had.

She came in just as the final bell rang. He watched - no longer bothering with subtlety - as she made her way to her seat. She ignored him, just like she did everyday, but he smirked at her. She sure was going out of her way to ignore him even more than usual this week. He supposed he couldn't blame her; not after what he'd said to her outside Buck's, and the fact that she had almost let him kiss her - and if he knew her at all, he knew she would be pissed at both him and herself for what had almost happened.

Christ how he wanted to kiss her.

Glancing over at her, he caught her watching him carefully. He smirked again, and as usual, she blushed and looked away. Glory, but that blush made him crazy. It made him think of how he had come to realise she liked him, and made him even more certain that she still wanted him … at least in some way. Not only that, but it took his mind to places he knew it shouldn't go.

There was the blush he used to get from Anna when she had a crush on him and he didn't realise it - the embarrassed, confused, frustrated blush that he could see on her cheeks right then - and then there was the blush he used to get out of her once they were together. The wicked, flustered, burning blush that would spread over her skin when he gave her a heated look. That was the blush that killed him. That was the blush that made his head spin. That was the blush he thought about at night.

Running a hand through his hair, he let out a slow breath. He looked back down at his essay, knowing _that_ was what he should be concentrating on - not Anna's soft, flushed skin.

What felt like far too long later, the bell finally rang, and he climbed out of his seat. His English essay was unfinished, but that was his own fault. He'd spent the last few minutes of class with an odd ache in his chest, watching Anna tap her pencil against her worksheet. The unseen tension between them had always been strong - like some kind of thickness in the air that connected them in their seats - but now it was worse. Now she knew what he wanted, now she was dating someone else, and now they were both all too aware of it.

Gathering up his notebook, he hurried out of class. He had no plan - wasn't sure he ever would have a plan - but that was okay. He just needed to see her - talk to her.

He waited until she made her way out of class, and matched his stride to hers as they walked down the hall. She looked awfully pretty, even as she threw a disgusted scoff in his direction.

After a few moments of silence, she finally looked at him. "What?"

"Nice to see you, too."

"I didn't say it was nice to see you."

He smirked. "But you should've; it's only polite."

"Yes, but it would also be a lie," she said, smirking right back. "And Henry still wants his hubs back."

He couldn't help but like her reply. It wasn't particularly nice, and he hated that she had brought up Phillips, but she wasn't telling him to fuck off and that was good enough for him.

"How's your week been?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Pretty good."

The halls were emptying and Steve was glad for it. All he had to do was hope Phillips didn't show up.

"Danny made plans for your grandpa's house?"

Her step faltered, and she gave him a look that had always made his heart clench. "Actually, we're going there after school."

"That can't be easy."

She was silent for a long moment, looking almost tortured at the idea of going to her grandpa's. She didn't want to go, that much was obvious.

"It'll be fine," she finally said.

He could tell by the way she said it that _that _conversation was over. He could also tell she was lying. They continued walking, and as they got closer to the back doors, Steve realised his time was running out; Kathy, Phillips, or Two-Bit would be outside, just waiting to interrupt.

"Hey," he said, voice soft. He reached out, slipping his fingers around her wrist.

She sucked in a breath as they stood in the middle of the hallway, and he let his fingers slide gently over her skin as she pulled herself free.

"What is it, Steve?"

He stared at her, taking in the way she tried but couldn't quite give him that defiant look she was going for. In fact, she looked almost desperate to get away from him. His heart sank; he hated it, but he got it.

He ran a hand through his hair, only seeing a few kids milling around the hallway. Being blunt and honest had worked well enough every other time, he figured he might as well do the same now. Taking a step closer, he leaned down and stared right into her eyes.

"When're you gonna dump Phillips and take me back?" he asked.

Her blush was almost worth the rejection when she said nothing and walked away.

XXXXX

She knew tantrums weren't at all mature, and that she was pissing Danny off, but Anna couldn't help sulking. Stupid Danny, stupid Steve, stupid goddamn house. She didn't want to do this. She'd agreed because she felt bad for making Danny do everything, but she wanted out of the car. She wanted to go home and pretend as though going to Grandpa Joe's was something that she'd never have to do.

Her hands shook, and she slipped them between the seat and her thighs, not wanting Danny to know. She loved her brother more than anything, and she knew he'd let her go if he knew she really needed to, but she didn't want to do that to him. He'd had to deal with everything when Grandpa Joe died; he shouldn't have to do this alone also. That was just unfair.

So she put on a brave face, reminded herself that backing out would be silly, and dealt with it. Despite the fact that she wasn't sure she could do it. A part of her was pretty sure she might not make it out of the car.

"You okay?" Danny asked, apparently reading her mind.

She forced a grin. "Yeah."

"I ain't sure I believe you."

"Whatever. I'm your sister - would I lie to you?"

He smirked. "Anna, you lie to me all the time; parties, school … _boys_."

"I thought you liked Henry." If she could change the subject by teasing Danny about her and boys, then she would.

"I like Henry when he's a part of the gang. Not when he's your boyfriend."

"He ain't my boyfriend."

Danny glanced at her. "Not yet."

_Not yet_ was an interesting way to think of it. She supposed it was only time before she and Henry became official, but she wasn't sure she was ready. And it was stupid. She had jumped right into her relationship with Steve - sleeping with him that very night - but she'd been dating Henry for a few weeks and she couldn't even outright agree to him one day being her boyfriend.

She liked him, a lot. He was handsome and sexy and fun. He always told her she looked great, he treated her perfectly, and he was never moody. And goodness, he sure was an amazing kisser.

Her eyes closed briefly, and she wished she could forget her almost kiss with Steve. It shouldn't be on her mind so much - especially not more than her kisses with Henry. Hell, _he_ shouldn't be on her mind so much. Henry was doing an awfully good job at helping her forget about Steve and move on, but those feelings weren't coming quick enough.

But it was still improvement. Instead of spending far too much time thinking about Steve, she now spent far too much time thinking about Steve, and a good amount of time thinking about Henry. She just wished it was more Henry and less Steve. That would make life a whole lot easier.

Danny made the turn-off toward Grandpa Joe's, and her heart clenched. She hated doing it, but even letting herself think about Steve was better than thinking about what was to come.

She didn't understand him. He said he'd do anything to fix his mistake of being with Evie, he said he was jealous over Henry, and he said he wanted her back. She supposed she should take them all as nice compliments or something, but they just messed with her head and her heart. She couldn't understand how he could feel this way when he had been with Evie just last year. They had gotten back together so damn quickly.

She didn't want to care. His words should mean nothing, but this was _Steve_. It wasn't often he used his words to show his feelings, so they had to mean something, but they still confused her and went against everything that had happened.

The one thing she couldn't understand, was if Evie had been such a mistake, then why did get back together with her? He'd seemed to just accept Anna turning him down, and move on to Evie. She couldn't work out how that made any of his words true.

"We're here." Danny's voice pushed into her thoughts.

She looked out the window, feeling sick at the sight of the green house they were parked in front of. Her hands trembled as she undid her seatbelt, but she ignored the look Danny gave her. It was as she climbed out of the car that the trembling in her hands spread through her body, and with shaky legs and panicked breaths, she closed the car door.

It was stupid for this to be a problem - it had been _months_. Months had to be long enough because any longer and she'd just feel like even more of an idiot. She shouldn't be shaking, her breathing should be fine, and her legs should be steady. Still not looking at Danny, she took a few deep gulps of air. She could do this.

Pushing her hair out of her face, she stood straight, and took a step forward.

She couldn't do this.

Her legs buckled, and she leaned against the car. She rested her head in her hands, and Danny's shoes came into her line of vision.

"Anna?"

"Leave me alone."

Danny stayed silent, but she knew he hadn't left. God, she felt so _stupid_. She wasn't a child, and there was no reason for her to be acting like one. Except that she wasn't damn well ready. Sure it had been months, but it was too soon and Danny should know that. He shouldn't have pushed her into this.

She lifted her head, refusing to look in the direction of the house. "I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I told you I didn't want to do this. You shouldn't have made me!" Even her voice was shaking, and she was just glad it was with rage rather than tears.

For the first time in her life, she felt something close to true dislike for her brother. She knew it wasn't real - knew it was her cowardly feelings at the idea of going inside that house turning into anger and blame - but it sure felt real. She pushed away from the car, making her way down the driveway.

Danny followed. "Where the hell are you goin'?"

"I told you: I ain't doin' this."

"Christ, Anna. You can't fucking walk home."

"Sure I can."

He grabbed her arm. "It ain't safe."

"It's not even dark, and by the time it _is_ dark, I'll be close enough to our neighbourhood for someone to give me a ride."

"Just get in the damn car. I'll take you home."

She shook her head. "I can't be near you right now."

"Anna …"

Her brother was a hood, and a damn tough one at that. She wasn't sure she could ever remember him crying, and the last time he had looked even remotely hurt was … well, she couldn't remember that, either. But he sure didn't look happy then. She knew she should apologise, and she would, but right then, she had to leave.

XXXXX

"Shit, man. What're the chances?" Two-Bit nudged Steve in the ribs, nodding in the direction of the road.

Glancing out the window of the DX, Steve was more than surprised to see Anna. She was standing on the sidewalk, staring at his car, and he was pretty sure she was frowning. Taking the opportunity, he said goodbye to the guy working, and headed outside. Two-Bit followed, handing him the Coke he'd completely forgotten about.

"What're you doin' here?" Anna asked, the second she laid eyes on him.

He frowned. "I work here."

"Not on Wednesdays you don't."

Two-Bit chuckled and Steve raised an eyebrow. Anna rolled her eyes.

"I only remember because you happen to work the same days I do."

"Of course." He held out his Coke. "You want a drink?"

"No."

Two-Bit moved to lean against the car. "I believe the polite reply is _no thanks_."

"Yeah, Anna. Where are your manners today?"

She shook her head, and grasped at the necklace around her neck. Even before he saw the necklace, it was the defeated look in her eyes that made him remember.

"I didn't come here to have you two hassle me," she said.

Steve took a step forward. "Where's Danny?" He continued when all she did was shrug. "I thought you guys had stuff to do this afternoon."

"I don't have time to stand around and chat with you, Steve," she said, starting to walk away. "I have to get home before it gets dark."

He grabbed her wrist, knowing it would piss her off, but darkness was only minutes away.

"Get in the car, Anna."

She snorted. "Right."

"I ain't fuckin' kidding. You're not walkin' home with those damn River Kings hangin' around."

"They're not gonna hassle me," she said. "I'm a girl."

Steve's eyes narrowed. "You think they're gonna give a shit?"

"He's right, kid," Two-Bit said. "Especially when both your brother and the guy you're datin' are part of Shepard's gang."

She bit her lip, looking conflicted. He could practically see the internal struggle going on inside her head. He tugged on her wrist, glad she hadn't yanked herself free yet.

"C'mon; it's just a ride home. Anyway, it's freezin' out here, and for some stupid reason, you don't have a jacket."

She finally nodded, pulling her hand away from him with a scowl. Steve glanced at Two-Bit, hoping for some kind of silent understanding. Two-Bit just smirked, and Steve had to hope he understood why he was being dropped off first.

"Ladies first," Two-Bit said, opening the passenger door for Anna.

"I can take the backseat."

"Nonsense. Anyway, it's filthy from all the car parts we had to bring here."

Steve smirked as Anna complied. Two-Bit was outright lying; they had stopped in at the DX for a Coke, nothing more. Making his way to the driver's door, it wasn't until he climbed in that he realised Two-Bit was shoving Anna into the middle of the bench seat.

"Two-Bit, what're you -"

"Glory, Anna, you can't expect me to sit in the back. Like I said, it's filthy."

Saying nothing and keeping his face impassive, Steve waited for Two-Bit to get in the car and Anna to stop fidgeting before he started the ignition.

It wasn't long before Two-Bit was spread out as much as he could, and Anna was squashed against Steve. He could feel her shoulder, hip, and thigh pressed hotly against him and he had to steady his breathing. She looked good, she felt good, and damn it, she even smelled good.

Two-Bit kept up constant chatter the whole way to their neighbourhood, talking as though Anna being so close to Steve was still an everyday thing. Steve reminded himself to thank Two-Bit later, but for the moment, he wanted his buddy out of the car. He glanced at Anna as he pulled into East Independent. Her hands were balled into fists on her lap, her jaw was clenched tightly, and she looked to be taking awfully deep breaths.

She was either as affected at being near him as he was her, or things at her grandpa's hadn't gone well. Or maybe both.

He pulled up outside Two-Bit's, letting the car idle.

"Thanks, buddy!" Two-Bit said, almost falling out of the car in his hurry to leave.

The car door slammed shut, and Anna made her way to the other side of the car immediately, putting as much space between them as she could.

"Wow, he's subtle."

Steve shrugged. "He's Two-Bit."

"Yeah." She fidgeted. "Are you gonna take me home now, or should I get out and walk?"

He pulled the car back out onto the road. "What happened at your grandpa's?"

"None of your business."

He sighed, hoping they didn't have to go through this _again_. "I ain't tryin' to bug ya, Anna. I thought you might wanna talk."

"To you?" she asked, sounding incredulous.

"You've done it before."

She said nothing, so he just kept driving. It was okay if she didn't want to talk. He wasn't going to push it this time. It wasn't like last time where she'd obviously needed to talk, but he could tell things hadn't gone well at her grandpa's.

He pulled up outside her house with a sigh; he didn't want her to leave. This - the enclosed space of his car - was the most alone he'd been with her in months. The almost kiss outside Buck's didn't quite compare. He wouldn't keep her there, though. Her fingers were stretching at the hem of her skirt, and she seemed nervous as hell.

Yet, she wasn't leaving. He watched her, waiting. Finally, she looked at him.

"Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Anything."

She looked away again, staring out the front window. "Why Evie?"

_Why Evie?_ He felt sick. The idea of talking about this with Anna was something he _never_ wanted to do. Something he'd never thought he would have to do. But he knew he had to if he wanted a chance. She'd never consider anything with him if he kept this from her.

He shrugged. "She was there."

"No, God -" She paused, looking more sick than he felt. "I know why - that night - but why … oh, Christ. It doesn't even matter."

"Yes, it does."

She had been reaching for the door handle when he said it, and he hadn't made any move to reach for her, but she stopped at his words. Looking down at her lap, she clasped her hands, and nodded.

"Why did you get back together with her? I know I said it was over - and it still is - but you just -" She paused again, running a shaky hand through her hair. "You got back together with her so quickly. How can you say you want me back when you did that? You just gave up on me, after saying you _loved_ me."

Her voice broke on that dreaded word, but she stayed calm. Steve didn't know how to answer. He was so shocked by her words - the fact that she was actually saying them - but he knew then, without a fucking doubt in his mind, that he had more of a chance than he'd even realised. She still cared about him, she wasn't over him, and her feelings for him were very possibly just as strong as they used to be. But she was still hurt. He hated that she was hurt.

Shrugging, he answered as honestly as he could.

"You said you didn't want me, and I believed you. Even though I wouldn't have taken you back if you'd screwed up the way I did, it …" Christ it had _hurt_. So fucking bad. "It was hard to hear and it pissed me off."

"So you just did it to get back at me?"

"I was done tryin' to get back at you, Anna," he said, meeting her gaze. "I messed up enough doin' that. Getting back with Evie was me tryin' to move on - get over you, I guess. You said it was over between us, and it …" He trailed off, palms sweating, knowing he couldn't get away with avoiding the truth. "Glory, Anna, it fucking hurt. Moving on seemed like the best way to forget you."

"Oh." She nodded, as though she understood.

He wanted to stop talking, but couldn't seem to stop his words. Being this open and honest wasn't something he was used to, but when Anna had asked him so desperately … well, he couldn't deny her what she wanted to know.

"Didn't work, though."

She scoffed, but didn't sound sure of herself when she spoke. "Of course it did."

"I dated Evie, and I know I gave up on you, but I never got over you. Never stopped thinkin' about you, wantin' you -"

"I think I should go inside."

He stared at her. "You said it was over then and I believed you. But I sure as hell don't this time."

She said nothing for a few moments. Finally, she glared. "Yeah? Well, maybe you should. In case you've forgotten, I'm datin' someone else."

He didn't get a chance to say anything else. Anna climbed out of the car, slamming the door closed behind her.

_And I'm on my knees,  
__And your faith in shreds it seems._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.


	10. Playing Games

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Mercy" by Duffy.

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**  
**Saturday, January 14th, 1967**

_I don't know what you do, but you do it well,  
__I'm under your spell._

Henry's hot hand was burning into the bare skin of her knee in a way that made Anna wish they were alone. For a Saturday night, Buck's was pretty dead as it was, but a part of her wanted to mention the idea of leaving, of going somewhere more … private. She couldn't help it - she liked Henry, and his touch was something she was wanting more of every time he kissed her, slid his thumb over her neck, leaned down to whisper something her ear.

Letting him get past second base and heated make-out sessions in his car was becoming more appealing by the minute.

She couldn't help wondering, though, if it was really being alone with Henry that made her want to leave. Especially when she'd spent her night in a group of people that consisted of the guy she was dating, who she really liked, and who kept trying to make out with her; and the guy she used to date, who she couldn't stop thinking about, and who she kept catching looking at her.

Frustrating wasn't a strong enough word for it.

Having one boy all over her where she sat while another watched angrily from another table wasn't something she was used to. All she could be glad for was that it took her mind off Danny. She had barely seen him since Wednesday, and hadn't spoken to him since. He kept giving her strange looks the few times they'd both been home, but neither had said anything.

She hated it. The way she'd treated Danny had been terrible, and she wished she'd just stuck around at Grandpa Joe's. Things would be okay with Danny, and she never would've had that damn discussion with Steve. Instead, she and Danny weren't talking - something that had only happened once before - and Steve was ruining her night.

Well, that might be a bit dramatic, but she couldn't do anything about the way he kept watching her and it bothered her. All she'd wanted was to spend the night hanging out with Henry - flirting, kissing, touching - without knowing about the eyes watching her. She wanted to at least try to have some kind of normal relationship with Henry. Normal couples kissed and danced and could be together without their exes' stares making them nervous. Sure, she and Henry weren't a _couple_, but that wasn't the point.

"You okay?" Henry asked, leaning toward her.

She looked into his warm eyes. "I could use another drink."

"Anything in particular?" he asked, standing.

She stood, too, knowing Steve was watching. "I'll come with you."

He gave her that sexy grin of his, and took her hand. Smiling softly, Anna didn't look anywhere near Steve as Henry led her to the bar, and attempted to push him out of her head and heart. Henry had worked his way into both quicker than she would have thought. She just needed to get rid of Steve.

She watched Henry order their drinks, thinking back to Kathy catching them making out earlier. Kissing Henry wasn't the same as Steve, she could admit that, but it was so damn close. Kathy turning up had been a pain because it was so damn close that all she wanted to do was let it happen. Let it all happen.

Relationship, feelings, sex - Henry wanted it all from her, and a part of her so badly wanted to give it to him. But she couldn't, and it was all Steve's fault. That was all it came down to. She wanted to give everything she could to Henry, but she couldn't because everything she had still lay with Steve. She hated it, she hated herself for it, and she wanted to hate him, too.

She couldn't have a relationship with Henry because she just wasn't ready. As much as she wanted to move on, she wasn't stupid enough to think that jumping into something new when she was still in deep with someone else would work. It hadn't for Steve - or so he said - and she knew it wouldn't for her.

Her feelings for Henry were complicated. They were there, no doubt about that, but they paled in comparison to what she still felt for Steve. It wasn't fair to Henry, but a part of her still firmly believed that would change. She would get over Steve, and being with Henry would help.

But as much as she enjoyed Henry's kisses, his small touches, and the way his thumb grazed the skin at her neck, she couldn't sleep with him. She wasn't like Ruth Goodall who slept with anyone whenever she wanted to. Anna had only slept with two guys; one she thought she'd had deep feelings for, and one she still did.

She hated being this way - all worried about her feelings and love and all the sappy stuff she used to try and ignore. It was what being with Steve had done to her. She used to be able to brush off anything that hurt with a mix of stubbornness, pride, and a few sarcastic comments, but now everything got to her. She knew she did a shitty job at hiding her feelings when Steve said something particularly nasty - the way she'd slapped him proved that.

What she really wanted was to forget. Forget Two-Bit, who had convinced Kathy to get back together with him and would probably hurt her again pretty damn soon. Forget Danny, who she hadn't spoken to in days and who was out with Tim - probably doing all kinds of stupidly dangerous things to keep the River Kings out of their territory. And most of all, forget Steve Randle and everything about him.

"Hey," Henry whispered, lips against her ear.

She shivered slightly, pulling back to look at him. Staring into his brown eyes, she didn't even think about anything. Leaning up, she kissed him, letting him deepen the kiss however damn much he wanted to.

He felt good, he tasted good, and he was good. At that moment, that was all that mattered.

XXXXX

Steve was a little buzzed. He'd been watching Anna with Phillips all night, but he was still having an okay time. Not only was Anna meeting his gaze more often than she really should be since she was there with another guy, but he was definitely making her uncomfortable. Not the kind of uncomfortable he had made her feel when he was with Evie, but the kind of uncomfortable he had made her feel before they had gotten together - both wanting each other, but unsure about what to do.

Or so he liked to tell himself.

"So I was thinkin'," Two-Bit said, from his seat across from Steve, "if a few of us jump Phillips, keep him outta commission for a bit, then that oughtta buy you at least a few minutes alone with Anna, right?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. He and Two-Bit had discussed starting shit with Phillips, and had even messed with him by taking his hubs, but jumping him was too much. Especially when they needed to be on the same side for whatever was going to happen with the River Kings.

"How drunk are you?"

"I ain't drunk at all, I'll have you know," Two-Bit said. He leaned back, sliding his arm along the back of Kathy's chair. "I'm more sober than I've been in my life thanks to this lovely lady here."

"Wow, Two-Bit. Can you say that with any less resentment?" Kathy asked.

After the last few months of Kathy glaring at him every chance she got, Steve was surprised by his own words. "She's right to keep you sober, buddy. You've been drunk every time shit with the River Kings has gone down. Not drinking for one night ain't gonna hurt."

Two-Bit frowned. "You tryin' to say I got a problem, Stevie?"

"Yeah. A problem keeping your trap shut around the wrong people."

"And sometimes the right people," Kathy muttered.

Two-Bit laughed. "This is why I do what I do for you, beautiful. I don't mind not drinkin' for you when you bring out those smart-ass comments I love so damn much."

What Steve found interesting was that Two-Bit was completely serious. He seemed to like Kathy most when she was giving someone a hard time - even if it was him. Hell, especially if it was him. Two-Bit seemed to get off on Kathy's dry sense of humour, and it was probably why he riled her up so much.

Steve looked up from his beer to see Kathy's reaction, only to find the newly back together couple making out in front of him. Two-Bit's hand was already fiddling with the top button of Kathy's blouse, and Steve looked away, frowning.

His gaze automatically landed on another making out couple, though, and his chest clenched. He realised then that that must have been what it was like for Anna when he was with Evie - both times. And it sucked. It was really fucking shitty, and he felt terrible for having put her through that … especially when their break-up had still been so fresh.

"Don't torture yourself, man," Soda said, sitting next to him.

Steve just shrugged, looking away from Anna. "Where you been?"

"Oh." Soda looked sheepish. "Shelley Winters wanted to, uh, tell me how sorry she was about Sandy leavin'."

"No way? I thought she was with Danny Harris?"

"Apparently not anymore. Anyway, nothin' happened. I mean, we made out for a bit, but that's it."

Steve just nodded, knowing that even making out with Shelley Winters - someone Soda had liked a lot a while back - wouldn't cheer him up about Sandy. He tried not to be angry at the blonde his best friend loved, but he couldn't help it. It didn't matter that Soda wasn't all that angry, or that Sandy had cheated because she'd been in love with someone else, or even that Steve himself was a cheater and had no right to judge. The bitch had hurt his best friend, and he hated her for it.

He didn't realise his gaze had drifted back to Anna and Phillips until his eyes narrowed. A hand was sliding up the back of her blouse.

"Christ," he muttered. "You think they really have to do that right there?"

Soda shrugged. "You did it with Evie."

"I guess."

"In fact, isn't that how Anna found out about you and Evie?"

Steve scowled. "That don't make this okay, Soda. He's all over her, and she's just fucking letting him touch her like that, in the middle of the roadhouse."

"He's hardly all over her." Kathy had come up for air. "And what do you care anyway?"

"I don't," he snapped.

Kathy laughed at him. "Bull. You're practically turning green just from lookin' at them. You know, jealousy ain't pretty on you, Steve."

What the hell could he say to that? Kathy was completely right; he was jealous, and it was putting him in one hell of a bad mood. As much as Anna and Phillips were pissing him off, he didn't want to let them ruin his night. If anything, he wanted to ruin Phillips' night by getting Anna back.

He smirked and picked up his drink, saying nothing to Kathy. She rolled her eyes.

"You know, this wouldn't be happening if you hadn't screwed around on her," she said. "But you did, and now that you want her back, you're too late."

"No I'm not."

"Give it a few days and those two will be officially together," she said.

"I ain't too late."

Kathy raised an eyebrow. "Like hell you aren't -"

Soda, ever the peacemaker, held his hands up in a 'timeout' gesture. "C'mon, guys. No need to fight. We're here to have fun, remember?"

"Soda's right," Two-Bit said, fingers pressing into Kathy's jaw, turning her to face him.

Steve made a face as they started kissing again, but said nothing else. He shouldn't be arguing with Kathy anyway, not if he didn't want Anna more pissed at him than she already was.

"C'mon, buddy." Soda stood. "Let's go outside."

XXXXX

Two hours later, Buck's was even emptier, and Steve was sober. Sober because he had new information that he planned to use. He probably shouldn't, but it was all he had and he was going to take it for everything he could.

Finishing his beer, he watched Phillips get up and head to one of the back rooms with Tim and the rest of the Shepard gang. He didn't give two shits what their meeting was about, he was just glad both Phillips and Danny were out of the way for a while. It basically gave him free range with Anna, what with Kathy holed up in some bedroom with Two-Bit, and Soda and Anita having some kind of quiet yet heated discussion in a corner.

Grabbing the fresh beers he'd ordered, he made his way toward Anna. She frowned at him as soon as she saw him coming. Smirking, he sat opposite her and handed her one of the beers. Of course, Anna being Anna, she raised her eyebrows and stared at it.

"Take it," he insisted.

"Why?"

"Because it's all paid for and someone has to drink it."

She took it, relaxing immediately, and Steve figured she already had a few drinks in her. She'd be a hell of a lot more tense if she wasn't at least a little soused. Leaning forward, his hands closer to hers than they probably should have been, Steve tried the only plan he really had.

"You dump Phillips yet?"

"Nope."

Steve nodded. "Gotta let the guy down slowly, right? Don't want to break his heart."

"I'm not breaking anything because I'm not breaking up with him."

"Yeah, but you know, I'm not sure it could even be considered 'breaking up' when you're not officially together anyway."

Her eyes widened. "How do you know that?"

So he'd been right. Kathy's words had gone right over his head until he'd been outside with Soda. He didn't know what it meant that she _technically_ wasn't Phillips' girlfriend, and he didn't know why she wasn't, but he'd been sure it was something Anna hadn't wanted him to know. And he was right.

Anna wanted him to think she was moving on. He knew - even before this new piece of information - that she hadn't moved on. She was trying, sure, but she was failing miserably. God, he hoped she was failing.

Shrugging, he took a sip of beer. "I'm right, ain't I? I mean, you slept with me the first night we got together … have you slept with Phillips yet?"

He might have gotten a slap in the face last time they'd had this conversation, but glory, he sure was desperate to know.

Leaning forward in her seat, she offered him a nice view down her blouse. "Maybe. Is that why you came over here?" she asked, frown on her face. "Can't you just once talk to me without bringing up you and me?"

A smile spread across his lips at her words, and he made a show of slowly lifting his gaze from the skin he was desperate to see more of. Anna - unknowingly proving his theory of being a little drunk - simply smirked and blushed, not once bothering to lean back in her chair.

"So, whaddya wanna talk about?" he asked.

"What? With you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, nothing." She frowned again. "In fact, I want you to leave."

"Oh, c'mon." Steve laughed. "If that little look you just gave me isn't considered flirting, then I'll give you my car."

She raised an eyebrow, holding out her hand. "Keys?"

"Funny. Now, c'mon. You said you wanted me to talk, so let's talk." He paused, smirking. "You know, like friends."

"We're not friends."

He shrugged. "I think you wanna be friends."

"You do, huh?"

"Well … nah." He slowly took another peek down her blouse. "I think you wanna be more than friends."

Anna blushed again, but as their conversation turned to school, she didn't once tell him he was wrong.

XXXXX

Turning away from Steve, Anna inwardly cringed at the smile she'd given him. Gosh, she must be drunk.

"You really think you're gonna win?" she asked, not looking at him.

"I do every other time."

She looked at him. "You know, I don't think we've ever played pool before."

"Maybe not. But I've always won at other games with you."

Ignoring what he said was easy, but fighting her blush wasn't. If he wanted to spend his night making silly comments like that, then fine. She didn't have to acknowledge them, even if they did get to her.

Glancing at Henry, she returned the small smile he gave her. She didn't know whether or not to feel bad about what she was doing. Henry was her date, but she was playing pool with Steve and not stopping him from flirting with her. Hell, she knew she _should_ feel bad, and she did a little, but she still wasn't stopping.

"Kick his ass, babe," Henry said, grinning.

Well, if he wasn't going to be bothered by it, then neither would she.

Steve was glaring at her. "You're up."

She nodded, wondering what the hell she was doing. Playing pool with an ex-boyfriend wasn't a big deal, really, but when the ex-boyfriend was Steve, who she couldn't stop thinking about, it became a big deal. A huge deal. Especially when she was drunk and almost willing to respond to his flirting with flirting of her own.

Leaning over the table, she lined up the ball, and did her best to ignore Steve's gaze on her. It wasn't that he was putting her off by watching her play, it was that he wasn't bothering to hide the fact that he was checking her out.

"Well done," he murmured a moment later.

She smiled, figuring that she'd been too focused on him watching her to think too much about her shot. It had been a fluke, nothing more. She was terrible at pool, and proved it by missing her next shot.

"Your shot," she said.

He took his shot; it went in, just like she knew it would. She didn't even know why she'd agreed to play - Steve was good at pool. Attempting to beat him was just plain stupid … but then, so was the amount of time she'd spent with him that night. Damn Tim Shepard and his stupid gang meetings.

Steve missed his next shot. And his next, and his next. Ten minutes later, they both had one ball left and Anna was confused.

She frowned. "Are you letting me win?"

He glared again. "Don't you know me at all?"

A bitter reply was on the tip of her tongue, but she pushed it back and said nothing. Glancing around the roadhouse, she realised just how empty it was. Danny and Tim and come and gone, along with most of the Shepard Gang, and other than the small group of people watching them play, there were only a few drunks at the bar, and a few couples slow dancing.

"You could win with these next two shots, Anna."

She looked back at him, knowing he wasn't letting her win; he'd always been a sore loser, after all. He must be having an off night. "I _will_ win with these next two shots."

Glancing at Henry, she paused and watched him a moment. He seemed fine with what she was doing - if not slightly distracted by whatever George was saying to him. But then he caught her gaze, giving her a slow grin. Smiling back, she took her shot, and was surprised to see it sail into the corner pocket.

She smirked at Steve. "Last shot."

"You might've got all the balls in, but losing this shot could lose ya the game," he pointed out.

"That won't happen."

"Sure about that?"

"Of course." An idea came to her immediately. "We should bet on it."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? What've you got in mind?"

"Well, if I win, then you gotta stop sayin' all this stuff you've been sayin'."

His eyes flashed angrily. She might've been drunk, but she sure could think on her feet. Moving on was hard when he wasn't letting her, and she needed to move on. Keeping herself detached from him was the only way to do it.

"And if you lose?" he asked, voice low.

Anna shrugged; careless, stupid, drunk. "Name it."

"Anything I want?"

"Within reason."

He smirked, chalking his cue. "In other words I can't use this to get you to come home with me tonight."

Her stomach twisted, and she ignored the smirks from those around them and the glare from Henry. Steve was an idiot, and he just didn't seem to get it. All this _flirting_ might've been fine to begin with, but when he took it too far like that, there were too many damn memories and it hurt.

"Well, take your shot," he said.

She did, holding her breath as she watched the black eight-ball roll along the table and into a pocket. Her heart sank with it when the white ball made its way down the opposite pocket. Groans and cheers came from the group around them, and she sighed. Glory, and she really thought she'd won for a moment there. But of course she hadn't - she never had that kind of luck when Steve was involved.

"Well, look at that." He was smirking at her. She hated that damn smirk.

She shrugged, placing her cue on the table. "Whaddya want, then?"

"Within reason, right?"

She nodded. "Within reason."

"I wan't a kiss."

Her brow furrowed. "A kiss?"

"Yeah, one kiss."

"One kiss."

He took a step toward her. "Repeating it ain't gonna change it, Anna. I won, and I want one kiss."

Was that within reason? She really didn't know. It wasn't asking her to go home with him, but a kiss … shit. Her gaze flew to Henry's, and she didn't know what to do. Well, she knew exactly what she _should_ do, but she wasn't sure she _could_. Her feet were stuck to the ground, her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth, and her head was stuck in place. She couldn't leave, she couldn't say no, she couldn't even shake her head in disagreement.

Steve sat his cue on the table next to hers, giving her a wolfish grin. "Hey now. No need to look so unhappy about it."

She said nothing, unable to speak - unable to think, move, breathe - as he stepped close.

"It'll be good for you, too," he murmured, and goddamn him, she knew he was right.

He stared down at her, giving her one last heated look - one last chance to stop him - but she couldn't do a damn thing. He gave a small nod, and she had no idea what he was thinking, but he didn't bother giving her another chance out. Leaning down, he kissed her slowly, deeply; lips unhurriedly moving over hers, tongue sliding lightly against her own, and warm hands holding her tightly - one on her lower back, one on the back of her neck. She didn't moan at his touch, she didn't touch him, and she didn't even lean into him.

But she sure as hell kissed him back.

She lost her mind. She wanted to moan at the feel of his body against hers, she wanted to slide her hands up his chest and around his shoulders, and she really wanted to press against him to feel more of what he was pulling her against. The kiss was heavy and intense and goddamn perfect.

She pulled back, shoving him away. It wasn't perfect, because this was Steve and she _needed_ to hate him.

Tears pricked at the back of her eyes for what she had just done to both herself and Henry, and she felt sick. She stared at the ground, shaking and refusing to meet what she was sure was Steve's burning gaze, or Henry's angry eyes. A second later, she turned on her heel and left the roadhouse. She could hear guys jeering at Steve - both making jokes and congratulating him - but she couldn't hear Henry, and she just kept walking.

The winter air was freezing on her already goose-pimpled skin, but she trudged over the snow anyway. She didn't know what to do, where to go. Danny was gone and not speaking to her anyway, Kathy was somewhere with Two-Bit, and she was sure Henry would never speak to her again let alone give her a ride home. It didn't matter if he wasn't technically her boyfriend, because she had technically cheated on him.

Bile rose in her throat; she was no better than Steve.

The door to Buck's opened behind her, and she spun around, an apology on the tip of her tongue until she saw Steve.

"Anna -"

She shook her head, holding her hand out to stop him. "Stay right where you are! I don't want you anywhere near me."

He looked at her, dead on. "You sure didn't mind a minute ago; you were kissin' me back, and you were just as into it as I was." He paused, shoving his hands in his jacket pocket. "Guess you ain't as over me as you thought."

"No, I'm not," she said, not giving a shit what she was confessing. "But I'm trying and you're not making it easy!"

"Why the fuck would I?"

"Because you got to. You might deny it, but you still did it." She stepped closer, until she was standing right in front of him. "You moved on, leaving me heartbroken and devastated for months while you were with Evie. The least you can do is let me move on, too."

Steve watched her carefully, and she looked away. He was looking at her as though he could see right through her, and she hated how well he still knew her. She didn't want him knowing how close to tears she was.

"You can't do this to me," she said, quieter. "You can't flirt with me and tell me you want me and kiss me. I'm not a cheater."

He flinched at her words. "Phillips ain't even your boyfriend."

"Well, shoot, I guess I have no chance with him now, do I? God, Steve, you say all this stuff about wanting to get back together, but you obviously don't care."

"I do care."

She shook her head, heart aching as she spoke. "It doesn't matter. I'm not yours anymore."

If she didn't know any better, she'd say she saw a flicker of actual pain in Steve's eyes at her words. He stared at her, not saying anything, and she wondered if he was remembering their past the same way she was. The door to Buck's opening had her pushing it all away, and she looked past Steve to see Henry come out. He didn't look angry, just frustrated. She didn't know what to make of that, but her stomach sank when he stared at Steve, not once glancing at her.

"You really wanna do -" Steve started, but Henry's fist connected with his stomach before he finished speaking.

He doubled over, winded. Anna ignored him, and ran to Henry.

"Please just leave it," she said, grabbing at his arm. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm really sorry."

Henry finally looked at her. "Maybe you oughta wait inside."

"No. I ain't letting you fight him; he's not worth it." She didn't care if guys wanted to fight, but she didn't want to be the kind of girl that boys fought over. She _wasn't_ the kind of girl that boys fought over. "Please, Henry. Just let it go."

"Anna, he kissed you." He looked so troubled, that she almost wanted to let him continue with Steve.

"I know, but you got your hit in and I'm sure it felt great. Please don't waste anymore time fighting him."

Henry stared at her. She could see Steve out of the corner of her eye, standing upright and waiting. She ignored him, pressing closer to Henry.

"Let's go somewhere. Just the two of us." She hated the begging quality to her voice almost as much as she hated the implications she was giving out. If she had to bribe him with the idea of being alone, then she would.

He finally nodded, and she knew him well enough to know that he was agreeing for her, not the hope of getting laid. Shrugging off his leather jacket, he placed it over her shoulders. Taking his hand, she tugged him toward his car, not once looking back at Steve.

_You got me begging your for mercy,  
__Why won't you release me?_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.

First Steve/Anna kiss of the fic is totes dedicated to Sam (samaryley) for a number of reasons. Becoming an aunt and being awesome are just two of them.

Also, if you get the chance, check out K. Nefertiti's new fic _The Trials and Tribulations of Curly Shepard_. It's pretty much awesome. I would know; I've already read most of it ;)


	11. Let's Compare Scars

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Swing Life Away" by Rise Against.

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN  
****Sunday, January 15****th, 1967**

_Are we getting closer?  
__Or are we just getting more lost?_

Anna felt sick to her stomach at what was coming. Sitting on the porch steps, in the cold, she wrapped her arms around her knees. She should go inside, but refused to do so until Henry showed up. They were going to talk - they had to talk - and staying cold would help her. It would keep her mind focused and her body rigid. There would be no relaxing during this conversation - not after the shit she'd pulled the night before.

But even after what had happened, she didn't know what to say. _Sorry_ didn't seem like enough, but there wasn't anything else. Sorry was all she had and it was useless. She had already said it too many times for it to still have any kind of effect. An apology wouldn't mean anything.

"Whaddya doin' out here, kid?"

She looked up at her dad. "Just waitin' for Henry."

"That's the boy you've been datin'?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He grunted. "Make sure he treats ya better than the last one."

Anna grinned, watching her dad leave for work. He didn't know everything that had happened with Steve and Evie - there was no need to make family occasions more uncomfortable than they already were - but that didn't matter. What mattered was how much Anna's relationship with him had improved since her mom took off the last time.

She waved goodbye, watching as he drove off and Henry's car pulled up. He climbed out and her heart thudded at the sight of him. They hadn't talked about what had happened, but she knew they needed to. She had kissed another boy, after all. She and Henry might not be a couple, but they were still dating. She had cheated by kissing Steve the way she had - that was all there was to it.

And instead of talking about it, they had spent the rest of the night fooling around in the back seat of his car. She had thought Henry would have driven her home right away and left it at that - left _them_ at that. Instead, he had driven them to the lake, and they'd sat in silence for a long few minutes.

The moment she'd opened her mouth to apologise again, he had kissed her, and for once, she hadn't even compared it to Steve's. It had been rough, passionate, and needy. It was as though he thought he was slowly losing her to Steve, and wanted to do whatever he could to keep her. She refused to think he might be right.

The night had ended with Anna being so caught up in their kissing and touching, so eager to make up for what she'd done, that she'd reached for his belt, ready to sleep with him. He'd stopped her right away.

"What's wrong?" she'd whispered. "Don't you want to?"

He pulled her hand away, breathing deeply. "I do, but … I ain't doin' this with you, Anna. Not when you're doin' it for all the wrong reasons."

It had killed the mood, and been slightly insulting, but it just proved how much they needed to talk.

"Hey," she said, softly. She stood to meet him as he made his way up the path.

He gave her a quick grin. "It's freezin' out here; why ain't ya inside?"

"I was waiting for you."

She didn't know if they were on the same page, or if he simply knew what she was thinking, but he nodded. He sat on the porch, and she sat next to him.

"To talk, right?"

"I kinda figured we ought to."

He nodded again, but was frowning. "You know, if this is you ending things with me, I'd really prefer it if you just did it. Forget all the talkin' that goes with it."

"I'm not … I wasn't …" She shook her head. "That's not what I want."

"Sure about that?" Henry's voice was causal, but he wouldn't even look at her. "Spending the night with me don't change the fact that you kissed your ex."

Again, she wondered what else to say. All the apologies in the world wouldn't be enough, especially when she'd spent her morning trying not to think about Steve's kiss.

"I didn't _mean_ for it to happen," she said.

"You didn't stop it, either. I know it's only been a few weeks, and I know you ain't my girl - not officially - but I thought we were at least something. I mean …" He finally turned to look at her. "You know how much I like you, and you know I want you to be my girl."

It had only been a few weeks, but with all the flirting and teasing before that, it felt like much longer. She felt like she'd had something with Henry for weeks and weeks, not to mention the two times she had drunkenly made out with him long before getting together with Steve last year. Henry was right; they were _something_, and if she wanted them to stay that way then she was going to have to make the extra effort.

She sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, but I really am sorry."

"You goin' back to Randle?"

"No."

"He wants you back, you know? Wouldn't've chosen a kiss as his winnings if he didn't."

"Yeah, I know."

They were silent, and Anna racked her brain for something - anything - else to say. Even an explanation would have been good, because other than telling him the truth, she couldn't give him any reasoning behind her actions. Telling him that she hadn't stopped Steve because she couldn't wouldn't go down well. She sighed; she couldn't say no to Steve when he touched her like he had.

Shit.

She shook her head. "I'm not goin' back to him, okay?" And for once, her heart and mouth were saying the same thing. "I might not be as over him as I'd like, but I ain't goin' back to him. Not after what he did."

"You let him kiss you. And you kissed him back."

"And I get it if you don't want to date me anymore because of that. Kissin' him like that wasn't the same as what he did with Evie, but I still hate myself for doing that to you."

"So it's because he cheated on you that you ain't goin' back to him?" Henry asked. "It ain't got anything to do with me?"

She didn't like talking about her feelings, and that had been one good thing about dating Steve; neither of them were talkers - their actions always spoke louder. But Henry was a talker. Henry wasn't shy about his feelings, and she knew she had to open up if she wanted to keep him.

She shrugged. "I don't know what this is with us, but I'm still not goin' back to him. I like _you_, Henry. And I want to be with you."

"You mean you wanna keep datin' me?"

"I mean I wanna be your girl," she said, feeling too many mixed emotions about what she was saying. "I didn't try to take things further last night just because I felt guilty. I did it because …"

He grinned at her. "Because?"

"Because I wanted to … with you," she said, blushing.

Sighing loudly, Henry threw his arm around her shoulders. "I guess this makes you my girlfriend, huh?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Danny chose that moment to come outside, and he stared at Anna a moment. She stared back, desperate to say something, but not sure what to say. She wanted this awkwardness between them gone, but she didn't know how to do it. Apologising seemed like the best idea, but she didn't know how to apologise for being an idiot. The only time they'd fought like this was when they thought Ruth Goodall was pregnant, and that fight had disappeared when Grandpa Joe died.

"Get your hands off my sister, Phillips," he finally said, breaking eye contact with her.

Henry grinned. "That's my girlfriend you're talkin' about."

"Huh. 'Bout time, don't ya think?" He paused, glancing at Anna and back at Henry. "Don't fuck up."

Anna watched him leave, feeling relieved that Danny at least didn't hate her for how she'd treated him.

"You know," Henry said, thumb sliding over her neck. "I'm beginning to see why Mathews is the way he is with Kathy; you girls sure are charmers."

She smiled at him, glad to have things sorted, and wishing everything else would just fall into place.

XXXXX

If he could help it, Steve would never work another Sunday again. If he didn't want the money so bad, he would've turned his boss down when he'd called far too early that morning. But he did need the money, and had figured working the day away would take his mind off his crappy night.

Instead, it had been dead at work all day, and two fantasies had been running through his head since lunchtime.

The first one was obvious: Anna. Christ, that kiss had been something. That hadn't been a part of any plan. Pointing out that he knew she and Phillips weren't dating, and maybe getting her a little drunk so she'd spend some time with him had all been a part of the plan.

And it had worked. Their conversation had been borderline friendly, at times edging toward flirting. The game of pool had kept her around when Phillips had come out of the gang meeting, and she'd spent a good amount of time just hanging out with him. But the bet - that had been entirely her own doing. Sure, the kiss had been his, but if he couldn't ask her to go home with him, what else would he ask for?

He smirked, locking up the front doors of the DX. That had been one hell of a kiss, and his imagination had been turning it into more all afternoon. Even with Anna as angry as she was with him, he wasn't going to regret that for anything - not even the punch to the gut that he knew he deserved. Kissing Anna had been perfect, and even in her anger, it had caused her to admit what he'd been waiting to hear; she wasn't over him.

Problem was, she wanted to be over him - even more than he'd thought. Her words still burned in his ears - _I'm not yours anymore_ - and made it a little hard to breathe. That had been enough of a punch to the gut without Phillips sticking his nose in.

Fucking bastard. Fantasy number two consisted of beating the crap out of Phillips any way possible. Steve was sure that if Anna hadn't slept with the guy before last night, then she probably had now. He'd heard her, he'd seen her guilt. He wanted to think she wouldn't sink that low, but he'd also picked up on how much she liked the guy.

It made him sick, and it changed everything. Anna liking Phillips the way she did, Anna saying she wasn't _his_ anymore, and Anna with someone else's hands on her. She wasn't over Steve, but she wanted Phillips. She'd made that clear as fucking day.

Steve shook his head. To hell with her. He'd tried and tried. Not always in the most decent of ways, but he'd tried and he'd been honest and he'd put himself out there again. She didn't want him, and he was sick of the rejection. He was done with her.

He pushed those thoughts away, sick of thinking about it. Shrugging on his coat, and flipping up the collar, he headed outside and locked the doors behind him. It had been a boring as shit day, but at least he was allowed to close up early and the pay packet sure would be nice, and -

And there were four guys standing in front of his car, waiting for him.

"Christ," he muttered.

He knew who they were. Two of them he'd never seen before, but one was the twitchy guy Two-Bit had gotten into it with a while back, and the other was the same guy Danny Harris had been fighting with at the Dingo. Steve knew what they wanted, and that he was screwed. Even if he hadn't left his blade in his car, he wouldn't have a chance; River Kings carried weapons to visit their grandmothers.

There was nothing he could do but man up and face whatever was coming.

"How's it goin'?" he asked, dryly, stopping a good few feet away from them.

One of the guys he didn't know stepped forward. He was small - Pony could take him down with a good punch to the gut - but he was swinging a piece of pipe between his fingertips.

"S'goin' real good," he drawled.

Steve swallowed; he could handle a jumping, but the pipe made him nervous. "That right?"

"We saw you the other night," the twitchy guy said.

"Oh yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Saw you with that buddy of yours. I'm sure you know the one I mean - he's got a real big mouth."

_Shit_.

"Yeah, I know him." Not only was he not in any position to lie to these guys, but he wasn't about to pretend Two-Bit wasn't his friend just to avoid them.

Twitchy frowned at him. "He wasn't the only guy you were with."

He sure wasn't. If Steve had his nights right - and he was pretty sure he did - he'd been sitting on the hood of Two-Bit's car, talking to Bobby Miller and George Silvers. One guy who was giving the River Kinds crap every chance he got, and two of Shepard's boys. He was in deep.

"Well, fuck," he finally said. "You gonna just stand there and stare at me all night, or you gonna do somethin'?"

Not his smartest move, he knew it, but he wanted it over and done with. Having these guys try and succeed at psyching him out wasn't helping anything. The other guy he didn't know - this one pretty damn huge - stepped forward.

But, according to Tim, River Kings weren't smart guys, and Steve was just starting to agree. They'd found the perfect time and place to jump him - especially considering it was a day he didn't usually work - but they were pretty clueless to anything else going on around them. Including the red Buick crawling to a stop across the road.

The first punch to the jaw was harder than Steve had been expecting, and it almost floored him. Had the pipe across his back not done so seconds later, he would have been proud of sticking that punch out.

"Fuck," he moaned, falling to his knees.

Boots started hammering at his ribs, and his body jerked with the force of it. He knew it was useless, but he tried getting up anyway. It was while he was wondering where the owners of the Buick were that the damn pipe was brought down over his head. His vision blurred, and he didn't bother trying to get up again. His head was dizzy, he thought he might have cracked a rib or two again, and there was something warm trickling down his head.

It wasn't more than half a minute of having the shit kicked out of him, but it felt like forever. Finally, the River Kings were pulled off of him and he could breathe again.

Steve staggered to his feet, wincing at the pain every-fucking-where. He clutched at his ribs, not because it would help, but because pressing against the pain made him feel better. He watched, wanting to help as Tim and Danny took on two guys each. He felt like shit for not joining it, but felt even shittier from the pipe to the head and boots to the ribs. Fuck, he hurt.

But it didn't take long for Tim and Danny to over-power the River Kings; there was a good reason Tim was a gang leader and Danny was his second. They took off in their car a minute later, telling Tim he was going to get what was coming.

"Fuck," Tim muttered, spitting out blood. He looked at Steve. "You okay, man?"

He nodded. "Sure. Thanks."

"How many times they get you with that pipe?" Danny asked, looking at the fingers on his right hand, three of which were obviously broken.

"Only twice; once on the back and once on the head."

Danny gave him a look. "You sure? You're covered in blood."

He remembered the warm feeling on his face. Raising a hand to his head, he pulled it back wet with blood. "Guess they got me harder than I realised."

Tim spat again, and all three of them winced at the tooth that came out with it. "Fuck! Those bastards are gonna get what's comin' to them."

"Oh yeah? When?" Steve didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but he was sick of the River Kings' bullshit.

Tim sighed. "When I figure out how to stop them."

"Nothin' we can do about it now," Danny said. "Let's go, Randle. We'll give ya a ride."

"I got my car."

"You also got blood covering half your fucking face. Get in the damn car."

Steve said nothing, but followed them across the road anyway. He didn't need a ride, but he figured he'd rather get blood all over Danny's car seats that his own. That hint of malice doubled when Danny made some offhand comment about Anna and Phillips becoming official that morning. Fuck it. He was done.

XXXXX

A few hours after her chat with Henry, things seemed back to normal between them. She was in the kitchen, rolling out pastry and talking to Henry, when Danny and Tim walked in.

"Oh, God," she said, wiping her hands on her apron. "What the hell happened?"

Their injuries didn't look too bad at first. It was obvious by Tim's swelling jaw that they'd been in a fight, but that seemed to be the extent of his injuries, and Danny seemed okay. Then she noticed his fingers.

"That's it? Just broken fingers?"

Danny frowned. "Whaddya mean _just_? These hurt like a bitch."

"But that's it, right? No broken ribs or knife wounds or anything?"

Danny shook his head, and she sighed in relief. She couldn't stand it if he'd been badly hurt and they still weren't talking.

She turned to Henry, whose mother was a nurse. "I don't know what to do with broken fingers."

"Christ, Anna, it's a couple of broken fingers." Danny glared at her. "Just tape them up."

Tape them up. Right. There was no need for him to be such an asshole about it, though. Throwing off her apron, she grabbed the box of medical supplies from the cupboard. As if she knew how to "just tape up" some broken fingers. Sitting at the table, she looked at the fingers. They were bent and red and bloody. Usually she could clean Danny up pretty well, and even Tim if she _really_ had to, but this made her feel a little sick.

Henry laughed. "Give it here," he said, taking the box from her.

She watched him take out the bandage and start on Danny's fingers.

"So, what happened?"

Danny barely glanced at her as he spoke. "River Kings. One of the boys got jumped as we pulled up. Fuckin' good timing, too. It was four of them on him until we stepped in."

"They got him fucking good with a pipe, though," Tim said.

"Who'd they jump?" Henry asked.

"Randle." Danny said it so casually, as though it were the least important thing in the world to him. "Bastard bled all over my car seats, too. He's lucky I was plannin' on getting gas or we never would've been there."

Her heart was thudding, and she lowered her hands beneath the table, not wanting anyone to see them shaking. Steve had been jumped, and from what Danny and Tim had said, it was bad. Glory, she wanted nothing more than to ask if he was going to be okay. Just to ask - she didn't have to see him or even call him - she just needed to know. Four on one, they had gotten him good with a pipe, and he'd bled all over Danny's car seats …

An image of Johnny a week after he'd been jumped came to mind, and she thought she might throw up.

But she said nothing. She couldn't do that to Henry, not after last night. She couldn't ask.

He asked it for her.

"Randle okay?" he asked, just as casually as Danny had said it.

"He'll be fine," Tim said. "Head wounds always bleed pretty bad, and he might have a few cracked ribs, but that ain't nothing he hasn't had before."

She remembered the night of the rumble. Standing, she looked at Tim.

"You want any ice for your jaw?"

He looked at her as though she was stupid. "No."

Of course he didn't; he never did.

Ignoring the looks, she went back to the counter and the pastry. She wasn't going back to Steve, but that didn't mean she had stopped caring. Tim had said he'd be okay, and she was more relieved than she was willing to admit.

XXXXX

"You sure you're okay, Stevie?" Soda asked.

He nodded, taking a deep drag of his smoke. His ribs were sore, but not cracked, and his head had stopped bleeding a while ago. He was fine, just sore.

"Can I get ya anything?"

"Na, man. I'm fine." He paused, not sure whether or not to continue. The only people home when Danny had dropped him off at the Curtises' were Soda and Anita. They'd been arguing - again - and Anita had left as soon as Steve had arrived. "You know, you and Anita sure fight a lot."

"Oh." Soda sat next to him on the couch. "Yeah, I guess."

"I thought she and Pony were good friends."

"They are. They work on a lot of school stuff together."

Steve looked at Soda. "But you don't like her?"

Soda shrugged. "She's okay. You heard the rumours about her?"

"Sure. Same rumours that used to go 'round about Anna."

"Yeah."

Neither of them said anything else for a while, but Steve remembered Soda and Anita dancing at Buck's a few weeks back. And once he thought about it, this time and the night before weren't the first he'd seen them arguing, either. He didn't know what to think about it, or what to say about it, but he was glad Soda was showing some kind of interest in another girl.

"Hey." Soda was grinning as he propped his feet up on the coffee table. "I heard about you kissin' Anna last night."

"Yeah. Ain't gonna happen again, though."

"Why not?"

"I'm done with her, man," Steve said. "I've been tryin' for weeks, but she just keeps turning me down." He shrugged. "I give up."

"You're kiddin' me, right?"

Steve shook his head.

"Shit, Steve, don't be such a damn idiot."

"What's that s'posed to mean?"

"It means that you screwed up, buddy. You screwed up, and maybe you deserve to have Anna reject you."

Steve sat up a little straighter. "I thought you were on my side."

"I am, but if you really want her back, then you'll do whatever it takes to get her." Soda dug around the couch cushions for some smokes, and lit one up. "I'm dead certain you're gonna get her back if you keep tryin', but if you give up on her then you're always gonna wonder."

He remembered Anna words from in his car. He _had_ given up on her before. He wasn't stupid enough to think that not giving up on her last time would have ended in them back together already, but the last few months might have been more pleasant if he had never gotten back with Evie.

And over Anna's voice, he heard his mom's. It was stupid, but it was something she'd said to him more than once before she'd died.

"Nothing worth having ever comes easy, Stevie."

Anna was worth having, but not coming easy was an understatement.

_If love is a labor I'll slave to the end,  
__I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.


	12. Hard to Say what's Going On

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Cannonball" by Damien Rice.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE  
****Tuesday, January 17****th****, 1967**

_Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth,  
__Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt._

Rumour had it that Steve had given up on her. Soda had mentioned it to Two-Bit, who blurted it out to Kathy, who had, of course, told Anna. Shrugging it off had seemed like the best reaction, but the bitter 'again' that ran through her head couldn't be helped. It shouldn't matter to her, and if it did matter, then it should be the relieved kind of mattering - the it's-about-damn-time kind.

Instead, she was disappointed. Steve had given up on her _again_, and it shouldn't hurt the way it was. Him leaving her alone was what she wanted - what she had basically told him to do at Buck's - and she should be glad that he had finally gotten the hint. But the disappointment running through her was confusing and painful.

It wasn't as though she had liked the attention he was giving her, nor did she plan on going back to him. The disappointment made no logical sense, but after days of thinking about it, being confused by it all, and wondering why the hell she should even care, she thought she might finally have it.

She had believed him. Every word he'd said to her over the last few weeks had gone straight into that place that wanted to be with him - that small part of her that missed him so damn much she could hardly breathe. Going back to him had never been a part of the plan, but she had desperately wanted to believe his words. TO believe that he meant what he had said.

Tapping her nails against the kitchen table, she sighed. That's all they had been - words. If he'd been able to give up on her all over again then he obviously hadn't meant anything he'd said. Sure, she could understand the constant rejection getting to him - he was Steve Randle, after all, and his pride was bigger than his ego - but if he really wanted her back then he wouldn't give up again.

And if she really didn't plan on going back to him, then she shouldn't care.

"Goddamn it," she muttered, running her fingers through her hair.

"What's wrong?"

She looked up, surprised by what her dad was wearing. "You're awfully dressed up."

He frowned. "You think it's too much?"

"That depends; what's the occasion?"

Stan stared at her for a moment, before answering. "I have a date."

"Oh. Wow."

That was a surprise. It shouldn't be - it was perfectly understandable if her dad wanted to date - she just hadn't been expecting it. They way he'd said it had her fighting a grin, though.

"I wasn't gonna tell ya," he said. "I mean, your ma only left a few months ago -"

"After being away for four years before that."

"Yeah," he said, smoothing his hair back. "So, you're okay with this?"

Anna nodded. Everyone said that things had to get worse before they could better, and things with her dad had gotten worse the night he'd hit her. Everything had been slowly getting better since, and now it was better than it had ever been - even before her mom had left. She vaguely wondered if things would have to get worse with Danny before they got better, too. She sure hoped not.

"I think it's cool," she said. "Is it anyone I know?"

"S'just a lady I met a while back."

She grinned. "Right. Well, I think you look nice."

Stan just shrugged. "I got a few minutes before I have to leave if you wanna talk …"

Things were better, but not that good. "No, I'm fine."

"You didn't sound fine."

This time it was her turn to shrug. "Just boy stuff."

He grunted, and she knew he didn't want to hear whatever her boy problems were. She supposed there were just some things she didn't want to tell him … and some things he really didn't want to hear.

"Don't stay out too late," she said, smirking.

He picked up his keys. "I feel like that's somethin' I should be sayin' to you and your brother. You need me to drop you off anywhere on my way out?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Have fun."

Giving her a nervous looking nod, he left. She sighed as the front door closed; these pleasant talks with her dad were strange. Good, but strange. After years of him only speaking to her when he was pissed off, she wasn't used to the everyday conversations that they should've been having for years. She sure liked them, though, and with them to think about, she could almost forget Steve existed. Until someone knocked at the door, and she opened it to find him standing there.

She was silent for a moment, not sure what to say. They shared one class at school, but this was the first she had really seen him since Buck's … since Henry hit him, since the fight in the parking lot, since the kiss. Having a little trouble breathing, she finally spoke.

"What're you doin' here?"

"Well, a few things, actually," he said.

She frowned, feeling the same kind of anger and hurt she'd felt months ago. Not to the same extent - he hadn't cheated on her this time - but still the same. Everything he'd said had been lies.

He continued when she said nothing, and with the way he frowned at her, the way his hands were shoved deep in his jeans pockets, he almost looked nervous. "Look, I ain't sorry for kissin' you like I did, not even a little, but I'm … I _am_ sorry that I upset you."

Her mouth went dry. "You're _sorry_?"

It was just another thing that shouldn't be a big deal, but good Lord, it really was. She could remember hearing those words from him once. In the eleven years she'd know him, after all the fights they'd had, and with all the mean things he'd said to her, he'd only ever apologised to her once. It had meant nothing then, but now …

"Yeah. I never meant for that to upset you. Shit, that's the last thing I wanted."

"Oh." With her heart pounding the way it was, she wasn't sure she could get out more than that.

He took a step forward. "Thing is, upsetting you is still the last thing I want, but I ain't gonna give up on you just because you say you want me to."

Licking her dry lips, Anna tried for uncaring. "Really? I heard you were giving up." _Again_.

Steve seemed to be reading her mind. "I thought so too, but d'you think I'm stupid enough to do that again?"

She shrugged, not sure there was an appropriate answer she could say.

"I ain't giving up," he said, earnestly. His blue eyes stared at her intently. "I don't care how many times you turn me down now. I know it might not be fair to keep tryin' to get you back, I know it gets to you sometimes, and I know Phillips'll wanna kick my ass, but I'm gonna fight for you anyway."

There it was - that urge to melt into his arms. His eyes, his voice, his everything was sending all kinds of tingly feelings through her. She pushed it all back, gripped the door handle, and stared at the ground.

"I want you, Anna, and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get you."

Well, shoot. She lifted her head, looking into his eyes and knowing with all her heart that he was telling the truth. Everything he'd said the last few weeks had been true, and she thought that part of her might have known that all along. His pride had taken a beating after the things she'd said to him, and he had been willing to give up. But he hadn't. Because he wanted her.

"Anyway," he continued at her silence, "that ain't the only reason I came by."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, voice far too breathy.

He nodded. "I've been thinkin' the last few days, and I wanna go see Millie."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I want you to come with me."

Anna narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"I dunno. I guess I just don't feel right just turnin' up there by myself. Especially when I ain't supposed to know anything."

"Well, take Soda with you then."

"Soda doesn't know. No one else knows."

She was silent a moment, thinking it through. There was a damn good chance he was using this as a ploy to get her alone; after his actions at Bucks, and their last conversation, she wouldn't put it past him. But Soda didn't know, and he didn't want to go alone. If she knew Steve at all - and she wasn't always sure she did - there might have been a hint of _need _hidden in his words when he said he wanted her to go with him.

"Fine," she said. "But if you're just doin' this to get me alone -"

"I ain't. You probably don't believe that, but I ain't." He smirked. "That's just a bonus."

She rolled her eyes, but grabbed her coat anyway. It wasn't until she got to his car that she realised two things - one: she was going out with her ex-boyfriend, knowing her current boyfriend wouldn't be pleased about it; and two: she was about to be alone in a car - the same car with the same windows the two of them had fogged up more times than she could remember - with Steve, by choice.

XXXXX

"Are you okay?" Anna asked.

Steve looked at her. "Of course."

"Do you want me to knock?"

He shook his head; he wasn't sure he wanted either of them to knock. Flipping up the collar of his jacket, he glanced around. They were on the second floor balcony of a set of apartments, and they'd been standing there for at least two minutes. He looked back at the door, not sure what his problem was. It had been his idea to see Millie, and he had truly wanted to, but now …

"You don't have to do this," Anna said, softly.

He glared at her, not liking the way she said it. "It's fine."

Knocking, he waited, already feeling bad for snapping at Anna. She hadn't had to come with him, but he sure appreciated her agreeing to it. Being alone with her really was just an added bonus; he wasn't sure he would've made it to Millie's on his own.

Speaking of Millie; Steve couldn't help staring when the door was opened. When Anna had said pregnant, she really meant pregnant. He didn't want to be a complete jerk, but Millie was huge.

"Well," she said. "I can't say I'm entirely surprised to see you two here."

He looked at her. "You're really pregnant."

She grinned. "You didn't believe her when she told you?"

"No, I did. It's just …" He trailed off, not sure how to continue.

Millie smirked. "Well, come on. No use you two standin' on the doorstep all day. Come inside."

She opened the door wider, and Steve walked in. Anna followed behind him, looking just as nervous as she had on the ride over. It had taken fifteen minutes, if that, but she sure had been tense. Despite his need to try and relax her, he'd left her alone. Pushing things wasn't going to help his cause at that moment.

Standing in the living room of Millie's, he took a look around. He'd never been there before, and was surprised at how nice it was. He'd always assumed she lived in the kind of house he and his dad did. Instead, her apartment wasn't much of an improvement to his house, but the way Millie kept it sure made it seem nicer. It was bright and cluttered and it suited her a lot.

"I am surprised it took you this long to get here," Millie said. She looked at Anna. "I thought you might've gone running to him the minute I left the bakery."

Anna blushed. "I practically did," she said. "And I'm sorry. I know you asked me not to, but -"

Millie waved off her apology. "Forget it, kiddo. I never expected you to keep it from Steve."

"Dad doesn't know," he said. He needed Millie to know she didn't have to worry about that.

"You understand, don't ya, Steve? I had to leave. I couldn't have him around a baby, not when I saw the way he treats you."

Steve nodded; he got it.

"And I gotta say," Millie said, looking far too cheerful, "I'm happy to see you two still together. I always thought you'd last. You two were so in love it almost made me sick."

She was grinning at them, but Steve stiffened, and Anna blushed, looking for a moment like she might cry.

"Oh, we're not … we're not together anymore," Anna said.

The air was tense, but Millie seemed oblivious to it.

"That's terrible. What happened?"

If he racked his brain for every possible scenario, Steve wasn't sure this could get any worse. He stared at Anna, wondering what she'd tell Millie. He didn't want Millie to know the truth. He didn't know why, but he didn't want Millie knowing what a fuck-up he was.

Anna held his gaze for a moment, before shrugging. "Just didn't work out."

"Right." Millie finally seemed to pick up on the awkwardness. "Well, can I get you two a drink?"

They both nodded, watching as she waddled into what must have been the kitchen. Steve let out a heavy breath once she was out of sight, and Anna ran a hand through her hair. Everyone they knew had known about their break-up for months; having to tell someone sure was uncomfortable.

Scratch that - the whole situation was uncomfortable. He hadn't seen Millie in months, and though it seemed like she'd changed a little, it was almost like she'd never left. That should be a good thing, but it was strange. He was there and Anna was there and they were talking to Millie, who'd always been good to them both, but something felt off.

"Here we go!" Millie said, bringing in two bottles of pop. She handed one to each of them, before struggling to sit on the couch. "Don't just stand there; sit and tell me everything. I missed you kids more than I thought I would've."

Steve sat, his palms sweating. She had said it to both of them, but she'd been staring at him. He liked Millie, and she'd always been good about respecting his mom, but surely he hadn't missed her, too. She was nice and fun and had been better to him in the two months she'd been around than his old man had in the last two years, but she was just some woman. Some broad who had slept with his dad, and gotten knocked up.

"Sure," Millie said. "You wanna feel it?"

Steve paid attention to the conversation going on around him as Anna hesitantly placed her hand over Millie's stomach.

"What're you doin'?" he asked.

Anna blinked, before breaking out into a bright smile. "It kicked."

He stared at her. "It kicked?"

"You wanna feel?" Millie asked.

"I don't think so."

She laughed. "That's okay, kid. Though, with your old man as it's father, and a scatterbrain like me as it's mom, this kid's gonna need a big brother like you."

And there it was. He swallowed, wiping his hands on his jeans. Something felt off because he shouldn't fucking be there.

He stood. "I uh … I gotta go."

Anna and Millie both looked at him in surprise, but he ignored it. Not bothering to wait for a reply, he pulled the door open and left. It wasn't until he was down the steps and in the parking lot that he realised Anna was right behind him.

"Steve. Wait."

He continued to his car, trying to dig his keys out. Anna followed, and she must've been running to catch up to him.

"What's goin' on?" she asked.

"Nothin'."

"You're lyin'."

He reached his car, keys slipping from his grasp. "_Shit_."

"Steve." Anna grabbed his arm. "What about this has you so upset?"

"I ain't upset," he snapped.

But he was upset and he didn't feel good about any of this, and it was because he hadn't been able to help Johnny, because he always snapped at Pony, and because he'd fucked up with the one person who had truly loved him. He stared at Anna, taking in her confusion, and the words were out before he could think them through.

"I'm sorry," he said, grabbing her hands in his own, holding them tightly. "Not just for upsetting you the other night, but for everything I did. Last summer - I fucked up bad, and I'm _sorry_. For all of it."

Her lower lip trembled, and she slowly pulled her hands away. "Shoot, Steve, what's wrong?"

"Nothin'." He took a step back, and ran a hand through his hair. "It's nothin'."

Picking up his keys, he unlocked the car, and opened the door for Anna. She climbed in without another word, but with one last concerned look at him. He ignored it, and made his way to his own door.

XXXXX

The car ride back to Anna's was even more tense than the ride to Millie's. Steve didn't know why she was so quiet, but he just couldn't think of anything to say. He wasn't sure there was anything else to say. He'd apologised, and he just hoped she knew how much he meant it.

But he couldn't think about that even if he wanted to, because his mind was solely focused on Millie and her kid. His brother or sister. It had taken Millie's words for the situation to really hit him. It wasn't just that he was getting a kid brother or sister, it was that he was going to be a brother, and he sure as hell didn't want to be.

It wasn't the kid's fault it was being born into a fucked-up mess, but Steve didn't need to make it any worse. He'd realised as soon as Millie had said the word _brother_ that it was a mistake. He wouldn't be a good brother, and Johnny, Pony, and Anna just proved that. He hadn't been able to help Johnny at all, and all he'd ever done was treat Pony and Anna like shit.

He pulled up outside Anna's, but kept the car running. If she wanted to jump out the second she could, then he wasn't going to stop her. She didn't, though. Instead, she slowly turned in her seat to face him.

"I'm not sure what happened up there, and I know you've probably got a lot to think about," she said, voice quiet, "but I think you did the right thing by going."

Everything became about her again the moment she spoke. Hands gripping at the steering wheel, he looked at her.

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah. And … I think Millie was right; that kid's gonna need someone like you in its life."

Christ, it amazed him how she could know exactly what he was feeling after so damn long apart. It amazed him even more that she could make him feel better with a few subtle words.

"You should probably go," he said, staring at her intently. "Otherwise I'm gonna kiss you again."

She swallowed and looked away, but he knew he wasn't imagining how slowly she climbed out of his car.

_So it's not hard to fall,  
__When you float like a cannonball._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. As usual, reviews would be wonderful :) That scene next to Steve's car is one of my personal favourites when it comes to Steve and Anna. I hope you guys enjoyed it, too.


	13. Motive in Your Eyes

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N:** Deds to Taylor. She's the one to thank for this quick update. Though the date of posting and the date of the chapter does amuse me.

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN  
****Monday, January 23****rd****, 1967**

_I see your motives inside,  
__Decisions to hide._

"Are you thinkin' about Steve?"

Having been staring distractedly out the car window for the last few minutes, Anna turned to look at Kathy. "Of course not."

"Liar."

She sure was. It couldn't be helped, though. Something had changed - she didn't know what it was, or what it meant, but something had definitely changed. What she did know, was that it was all because of Steve and everything he had said to her last week.

An apology - hell, two apologies - shouldn't be a big deal. They were well-deserved, and it shouldn't have taken him this long to give her one of them, but somehow it wasn't those points that stuck with her. Steve was stubborn and he had way too much pride; apologising when he was in the wrong wasn't something he enjoyed doing. She knew that - she'd been on the receiving end of more than a few unconventional apologies from him. The kind where he didn't have to actually say the words, but would make it up to her with kisses or replacement words or by letting her drive his car.

For him to have said the words … well, it was a bigger deal than it should have been. It meant more than it should have.

She'd always thought about him a lot, but now it was even worse. Now she found herself remembering the good along with the bad. Especially late at night. It was then, when she had nothing else to distract herself with, that she thought about Steve and the nights they had spent in her bed. It hadn't taken much for her to decide they'd spent far too much time there.

"I'm allowed to think about him sometimes, ain't I?" she asked, hoping her best friend would reassure her that it was okay. "I mean, I see him at school everyday. Plus, you know, he's an ex; it's to be expected. Not only that, but he's your boyfriend's buddy - I think about Two-Bit, I think about Steve." Apparently she had become a terrible liar.

Kathy was smirking. "It's okay to think about him," she agreed. "I don't think you should, because he's a jerk, but it's okay."

"You're givin' me your permission?" Anna asked, grinning.

"Well, we sure talk about Two-Bit plenty enough when I'm not with him," Kathy said.

"That's because you always get back together with him."

"Exactly."

Anna said nothing; she didn't know what to make of that. It was one thing for Henry to hardly believe her when she said she wasn't going back to Steve. It was uncomfortable when Millie said she'd always thought they'd last. It was just plain hard when Steve himself seemed so sure he was going to win her back.

But for Kathy to not believe her, that was really bad. In fact, it made Anna feel pretty shitty.

"You think I'm gonna take him back, too?"

"Well, aren't you?"

"_No_."

Kathy's eyebrows rose, and she pulled up next to Anna's work. "Oh. Well good. He doesn't deserve you."

Anna was silent, confused by Kathy's surprise. She thought that if anyone would believe her, it would be Kathy. Henry seemed worried, Millie seemed disappointed, and Steve seemed cocky - Kathy was just supposed to be there. She was supposed to believe her.

"He hasn't given up, has he?" Kathy asked.

She shook her head. "He said he's not going to."

"You believe him?"

Anna sighed. "Yeah."

Kathy said nothing else, and Anna pushed Steve out of her mind.

"Thanks for the ride," she said. "Dad wasn't home and Danny's …" She trailed off, not wanting to admit she and Danny _still_ weren't talking.

"No problem. You need a ride home?"

She shook her head. "I'll just get a ride with Anita."

Kathy looked like she wanted to say something else, but Anna climbed out of the car before she got the chance. She didn't want to hear anymore about Steve.

XXXXX

"Thanks for helping me on your day off," Anita said, putting the last of the dishes away. "With those two weddings over the weekend, there was more to do than I thought there would be, and Aunt Meredith is out on a date."

Anna smirked. "I wasn't gonna say no to the extra money."

Anita didn't say anything else, and Anna looked at her. She'd been quiet all afternoon, and though she was a quiet girl to begin with, this was different.

"Is everything okay?"

Anita shrugged. "I think I have to quit studying with Pony."

"Why? I thought you and Pony got along great."

"Well, yeah, but …"

"But?" Anna prompted, knowing her new friend was a little weird about sharing too much information. She kind of reminded her of Steve in that way.

"I think his brother hates me."

"Which brother?" Anna found it didn't really matter which brother - neither were likely to hate her.

"Sodapop."

"What?" Anna laughed, before realising Anita was being serious. "You're kidding, right? Why would you think that?"

Anita scowled. "I dunno. I think he thinks I'm a bad influence on Ponyboy or something." She paused. "He's probably heard everything there is to hear about me and thinks I'm gonna corrupt his little brother."

Anna smirked. Despite the rumours, Anita was the sweetest thing. Anna didn't believe the rumours were true - she knew Ricky Bolton, and knew the kind of bull he liked to tell people - but she didn't care much even if they were true.

"I doubt he thinks that," she said.

She had seen Anita and Soda together more than a few times over the last month, and wasn't sure Anita was telling her everything. Though she doubted Soda was over Sandy leaving, the chemistry between him and Anita had been obvious. They'd danced, flirted, and Anna was sure she'd interrupted an almost kiss at one stage. She really didn't think Soda hated Anita.

But she couldn't be sure. As well as Soda understood people, and as sweet as he usually was, he and Anna hadn't been on the best of terms since her break up with Steve. It was hardly surprising - that was what happened when couples broke up - but she had seen a whole other side to him after everything that had happened. He had been pretty pissed at her when she hadn't taken Steve back. She got it; Steve had wanted her for a while after the break up, and Soda only wanted best for his buddy. He hadn't been able to understand why she wouldn't take Steve back, and she had told him he was being a one-sided fool and there was no way it was happening. They had hardly spoken since.

She had felt guilty for hoping he now knew how being cheated on felt. She sighed; just because Soda wasn't as perfect as she had once figured he was, didn't mean he hated Anita.

"Seriously," she continued. "I know things have been weird between the two of you lately, but I don't think he hates you. He's probably still just having a tough time with Sandy being gone."

Anita nodded. "Yeah, probably."

Switching off the lights, Anna decided a change of subject might be in order. "Oh, I completely forgot. Can I grab a ride home with you?"

"Um, well, sure. It's just … Soda and Steve are picking me up."

"Oh." Anna's heart sank, but she decided to ignore the mention of Steve. "How is it you think Soda hates you when he's willing to pick you up from work?"

Anita blushed. "I don't know. He was just there when Aunt Meredith mentioned her date, and he said he and Steve'd pick me up."

"This love-hate relationship you two have sure is interesting," Anna said, smirking.

"I could say the same about you and Steve." Anita smirked right back.

"Hm." Opening the front door, Anna let that one go. They quickly headed outside, pulling their coats tighter as the cold air whipped around them. The snow had stopped around lunchtime, but it was only a matter of time before it started back up. Anna shivered, crossing her arms over her chest as Anita locked the door behind them. "Damn, it's freezin' out here."

"You ain't kiddin'," Anita said. "Maybe we should wait inside."

Waiting inside was a damn good idea, but Anita tugged at her sleeve before she could answer. Anna looked at her, taking in her pale skin and wide eyes as she stared at something over her shoulder. Following her friend's gaze, her heart thudded.

She didn't know Rex Hamilton personally, but she knew of him, and he'd been pointed out to her before. She'd also heard the stories about the River Kings leader - about how he did whatever it took to get what he wanted, not caring who he scared or hurt. There had been one rumour about him, Sylvia, and a black eye marring her skin.

He stepped toward them, a sinister smile on his face. He was just one guy, but Anna sure was scared. If the way Anita gripped her hand was anything to go by, she wasn't the only one.

"Ladies," he said, voice far too soft.

She could feel Anita shaking next to her, but neither girl said anything. Anna didn't know what to do; she'd never been in this kind of situation before, because none of Danny's gang business had ever gone as far as to involve girls.

"Relax," he said, stepping closer still. "I ain't gonna hurt either of you."

For the first time in a long, long time, Anna desperately wished Steve were there. She wasn't sure how much she believed Rex Hamilton. He was leader of the River Kings, but that didn't explain why he was there. He had some kind of beef going on with Tim and his whole gang, and, apparently, Two-Bit, but she didn't know if he just wanted to scare two defenceless girls, or if he was planning on something much worse.

Anna would take the scare over anything else any day, but she wasn't about to show it.

"What d'you want then?" she asked.

He smirked at her and looked at Anita. "How's it goin', sweetheart?"

To her credit, Anita stepped forward. "Whaddya doin' here, Rex?"

"Just makin' a point," he said. "I s'pose I coulda got one of my boys to do it, but I _really_ wanted to do this one myself."

"We have people picking us up," Anna said, voice much steadier than she felt. "They'll be here soon."

"I ain't lookin' for a fight. Like I said, just makin' a point."

Anita's grip tightened. "What point?"

Rex looked at Anna, gaze running down the length of her body. "Whaddya say we go for a drive, baby? I've already had my fun with Anita; how about you and me get acquainted?"

"I don't think so."

"You might not have a choice in the matter." He stepped closer still, and she realised then just how badly he could hurt her. It wouldn't take much for him to drag her to his car. "Don't you know how dangerous it is, havin' a brother and a boyfriend in Shepard's gang?" he asked.

She nodded, not meeting his gaze. "I'm beginning to realise."

"I put up with enough shit from her brother, and there ain't anything I can do about it now," he said, glancing at Anita then back at Anna. "But your brother - your brother I can deal with."

"My brother'll kill you if you touch me." She looked him dead in the eye as she said it, and knew the truth to that statement better than she'd known anything in her life.

Rex gripped her arm. "Baby, after the shit he pulled with Vinnie, your brother ain't gonna be around much longer."

Her stomach dropped, and her head spun. There wasn't anything she could do to stop her panic from showing now. Not that she cared anymore; Rex's words had scared her into silence. She wasn't sure what he meant when he talked about Vinnie and Danny, but probably didn't want to either. She had no doubt he meant what he was saying.

"Vinnie didn't do anything you didn't deserve," Anita snapped, and Anna was glad for her courage.

"Vinnie tried to shoot me in the fucking Dingo," Rex spat. "Just for showin' his little sister a thing or two about the birds and the bees."

Anna's eyes widened at those bits of new information. Anita had slept with Rex, Vinnie had been trying to shoot Rex … and Danny had been involved?

"You got me drunk and took advantage," Anita said.

"Don't matter how it happened anymore," he said, finally letting go of Anna. Headlights pulled into the end of the street, and he stepped back, staring at her. "What matters is that Shepard and his gang - particularly your fucking brother - are going down for helping Vinnie out."

Rex turned away, and Anita tugged on her hand again. Taking what felt like her first breath in minutes, Anna dragged her gaze away from the guy who had just threatened her brother, and toward the car pulling up next to them. She could have sobbed in relief at seeing Steve and Soda climb out.

"You tell Shepard that he knows where to find me when he's ready to stop being such a little bitch," Rex said, climbing into his car before Steve or Soda could get near him.

Steve and Soda both looked ready for a fight, but Anna was glad it wasn't happening. When Rex took off, she finally relaxed and let go of Anita's hand. With a small whimper, Anita practically flew into Soda's arms, and with the way he hugged her back, Anna knew for sure that Soda didn't hate her.

She looked at Steve, feeling so damn tempted to fist his T-shirt in her hands and bury her face in his neck. He stared back, worried.

"Are you okay?"

All she could do was nod and look away. She'd relaxed, but her hands were shaking and all she could think about was what had been said about Danny.

Steve raised his hands, pushing her hair back and tilting her face to look at him. "You sure? Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, just a little spooked."

He nodded, slowly dropping his hands, and she missed the warmth immediately. Screw wanting to hate him - it wasn't going to happen and she was too glad he was there to even bother.

XXXXX

It was taking every bit of self-control Steve had not to yell at her, to make her tell him exactly what had happened. He wanted to - Christ he wanted to know so bad - but she was shaken enough as it was. It reminded him of the night her dad had hit her, and the last thing she needed was him losing his temper.

She had said one word since climbing into his car; a simple _yeah_ when he'd asked if she was okay. On the drive to her house she had sat silently, playing with the hem of her skirt, and worrying her lower lip. He wasn't sure he was the one she wanted, and he wished he could make her feel better without making her feel worse.

They made their way up the porch steps, Soda and Anita waiting in his car. She stopped at the door, shrugging off his jacket. It had been a struggle to get her to take it, but she'd been shaking so damn much he hadn't been about to let her say no.

"Thanks," she said.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't want me to come in?"

"Um …" She glanced past him, staring at something on the street. "That's Henry's car."

"Oh."

She was silent for a moment, and if he didn't know any better, he'd say she was putting off going inside. Putting off leaving him.

"Thanks," she said again, handing him his leather jacket.

He took it with both hands, running one thumb over the back of her hand. "Anytime."

She stared at him, and it was one of those moments where he just knew he was the one she wanted. Conflicted didn't even begin to cover the look in her eyes, and a part of him knew she wanted to stay outside with him rather than go inside and be with her boyfriend. If Phillips and Danny weren't just inside, he would've leaned down to kiss her right then.

"Make sure Anita gets home safely, okay?"

He nodded. "Sure."

She placed her hand on the door handle, glancing back at him one last time. "Thanks, Steve."

The front door was pulled open before he could answer, and Danny was glaring at him.

"What're you doin' here?"

Steve glared right back. "Droppin' your sister off after she got jumped."

"_What_?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "I didn't get jumped. Rex Hamilton turned up at work and tried to scare me and Anita."

Tim and Phillips came out, and suddenly the front porch was far too crowded. All Steve could do was watch in seething silence as Henry slipped an arm around Anna, pulling her close.

"What happened, kid?" Tim asked.

She told him what had happened, and Steve's knuckles itched. He knew Hamilton was a real creep, but hearing the things he'd said to Anna made him sick. He couldn't stand to think about what could have happened had he and Soda been any later.

"This is bullshit!" Danny said, pacing. "If these guys hadn't turned up when they did, who the fuck knows what would've happened?"

Unlike Tim, who was, as always, cool and calm, Danny was furious. Steve shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at Anna. She was watching Danny with a small frown on her face, still tucked safely against Phillips.

"He's right," Steve said. "Jumping me and Two-Bit is one thing, but going after Anna and Anita is just -

"Fucked up is what it is." Danny looked at Tim. "I get that you're the leader, but that's my sister, man. Girls ain't meant to be part of this shit, and especially not sisters. No more waitin' around to see was Hamilton's gonna do - he just showed us exactly what he's willing to do."

Tim nodded. "You're right." Digging around in his pockets, he headed down the stairs. "I'll be back later to let y'all know what's goin' on."

Steve looked at Anna, who was staring at her brother.

"Rex Hamilton sure seems to have it in for you," she said.

Danny looked at her. "What'd he say?"

"He just seems more pissed at you than at Tim," she said, looking at her shoes.

Steve got the feeling there was more to it than that, but he stayed quiet.

"It's nothin', kid," Danny said. He stared at her for a second. "Just business."

The scowl on Anna's face made Steve pretty sure she didn't believe her brother. He watched Danny walk inside, before looking at Anna. A fresh wave of hate for Phillips came over him, because _he_ should be the one looking after her like that. Knowing it was time to go, he made his way back to his car, frowning. He really wished things weren't so complicated.

XXXXX

Half an hour later, Steve was sitting outside the Curtises', smoking with Ponyboy while Soda dropped Anita off at home. Tim had been by, and a rumble was set for Saturday night. Steve's neck prickled at the thought of another rumble, and he was pretty sure Darry had only agreed because he knew Soda and Pony wanted in. They'd do whatever they could to get in, whether he agreed to it or not.

"You think we'll win?" Pony asked.

In all honesty, he wasn't so sure. No rules had been made yet, but the River Kings were pros at using whatever weapon they could get their hands on. Steve, Two-Bit, and the Curtises only used weapons if they had to.

"Sure," he said.

Pony didn't look like he believed him, but nodded anyway. "I got homework," he said, stubbing out his smoke before heading inside.

Steve just nodded, waiting outside until Soda came back a few minutes later.

"Can I have one of those?"

Steve looked at the smokes he'd pulled out of his pocket, and held them out. "Everything okay?"

Soda took the cigarette and lit up. "'Course."

That was a lie, but Steve knew he just had to give Soda time. Where he needed to be pushed for information, Soda just needed a few moments to gather his thoughts. And he was right. It was only a few minutes later when Soda started talking again.

"I've been thinking a lot about Anita."

Steve nodded. "Sure. You guys do argue a lot."

"Nah, I mean …" Soda paused and took a deep drag, blowing out smoke as he spoke. "Thinkin' about her in a good way."

Steve didn't know why he was so surprised. He'd seen them dancing, flirting, and arguing more than once in the last few weeks. There was obviously something there, but Soda obviously wasn't sure about it. Steve could hardly blame him after what had happened with Sandy.

He was glad, though. It was nice to see his buddy doing something other than mope for once.

"I think she likes you," he said, remembering the way she had thrown herself into Soda's arms earlier.

Soda stood. "I dunno. I'm gonna head to bed, though. You stay the night if ya want, Stevie."

Steve nodded; he'd definitely be staying. After everything that had happened, going home was the last thing he wanted.

_I know that you are wrong,  
__And this is not where you belong._

_

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_

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Please review :)


	14. Everybody Needs Some Time

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "We Used to be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols.

**

* * *

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**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**  
**Saturday, January 28th, 1967**

_A long time ago we used to be friends,  
__But I haven't thought of you lately at all._

Anna was done with all the tip-toeing around. She stood next to the kitchen table, arms crossed over her chest as Danny walked in. He stared at her, rubbing a knuckle over his forehead. A sure sign he was already frustrated with her.

"What?"

"I want to know what's goin' on," she said, lifting her chin a little.

He frowned at her. "What's goin' on with what?"

"You and Rex Hamilton."

"Nothin'." He walked past her, heading for the fridge. "Just business."

"That's what you said on Monday," she said. "And it's also bullshit."

"Is that right?"

She gaped at him, not understanding why he was being so frustrating. She had been wanting to apologise for the way she'd acted at Grandpa Joe's ever since she'd done it, but he was acting as though he didn't give two shits about how he was treating her. A lump formed in her throat, and she pushed it back, not sure what was going on anymore.

"I know you were at the Dingo when that shooting happened."

"So?"

"_So_? So you lied to me! I asked you if you were there, and you said no."

Danny hesitated before answering. "Look, I wasn't with Vinnie when he did it, and I wasn't anywhere near Hamilton. I was completely away from everything that went down until I dragged Vinnie outta there, but because that's when Hamilton saw me, he's taken to thinking I had more to do with it than I did. That's all there is to it. No big deal, got it?"

"You should've told me."

"Why? So you could've spent the last few months worryin'?"

She couldn't even deny that. "This guy hates you," she said, trying not to get hysterical. "You should've heard the things he said about you."

"What things?"

"Just … things." She sighed, not sure how to tell him without sounding overly dramatic. "I'm pretty sure he wants you dead."

Danny said nothing, just stared at her.

"I'm serious! He was so angry, and when he grabbed me and said these things -"

"Wait. He grabbed you?"

She recognised that glint in her brother's eyes, and immediately regretted her words. The last thing she needed was to make him even angrier at Rex. Perhaps that was why she hadn't mentioned this before.

"S'nothin'."

"Now _that's_ bullshit. Did he hurt you or not?"

"No. I already told you; he just scared me a little," she said. "But doesn't that tell you somethin'? This guy's willing to scare me just to get at you."

"He won't do it again, Anna. I can fucking promise you that." Danny stepped closer, watching her intently.

She didn't want to say her next words - didn't want to be _that_ sister - but they came anyway.

"Don't go."

"What?"

"Tonight. Don't go."

Danny looked at her as if she was stupid. "Kid, I have to."

"No you don't. Danny, _please_ -"

He walked past her, ignoring her pleas. "Quit your worrying, Miss B. It's gonna be fine. We outnumber the River Kings, it's no weapons, and we're gonna kick their asses."

She watched him go, not saying anything else. She was angry, so damn angry, but she couldn't help but feel relief at the use of her nickname. It'd been too damn long since she'd heard it.

XXXXX

"Glory, Anna," Henry moaned, as she sucked on a patch of his sensitive skin.

She sighed into his neck, wriggling slightly as she sat straddling him in the backseat of his car. His fingers dug into her hips, pulling her closer, and she knew exactly what it was he wanted. Taking a breath, she pulled back.

Things with Steve might have become … _different_ lately, but things with Henry had stayed exactly where they were. She didn't know if that was good or bad. Rushing into something wasn't what she wanted, but she didn't want to keep pushing him away, either.

Deciding not to think about that then, she dragged her fingers through her hair and licked at her swollen lips. They had spent the rainy afternoon making out in Henry's car - hands, lips, and tongues doing whatever they pleased.

Well, almost.

"I should probably drop you off soon," Henry said, looking like that was the last thing he wanted to do.

She nodded, sliding her hands over his chest. "Probably."

"Or, you know, we could just spend the rest of the night right here."

She smirked and gave him a quick kiss. "Not a chance. I need you to kick some River King ass tonight."

A part of her figured that the more people fighting in the rumble, the less chance of Danny, Tim, or Henry getting hurt. Or Soda, Two-Bit, or the Curtis boys. Or anyone else she knew and hated to admit caring about.

Henry's fingers slid over her neck. "Trust me. After the shit they pulled with you the other night, I'm more than willing to kick all their asses."

And after everything that had happened the other night, Steve hadn't been mentioned once. She'd expected Henry to be at least a little pissed that Steve had dropped her off, but unless she was kissing Steve in Buck's, then Henry didn't seem to be the jealous type. Since their talk after that kiss, the whole 'Steve' issue had been dropped. In fact, it hadn't even been an issue anymore.

She didn't know if it was because Henry simply trusted her implicitly, if he didn't care enough to really worry, or if he just didn't think Steve had a chance. It wasn't a good thing, but she kind of hoped it was the latter. She wanted Henry to care about her - she sure cared about him - but she wasn't sure implicit trust in her was a good thing. Not when she couldn't seem to get rid of the feelings she had for Steve. Or when she had kissed him back at Buck's.

"Should we get goin'?" Henry asked, fingers fiddling with the one of the few done up buttons of her blouse.

He was so good to her, and she was such a bad girlfriend. It wasn't just that a part of her wanted to be with Steve; it was that every part of her had wanted to be with him after the incident with Rex Hamilton. Going inside her own house - where she knew her brother, a gang leader who wouldn't try and hurt her, and her boyfriend were - had been the last thing she'd wanted. Staying with Steve had been what she wanted. _Being_ with Steve had been what she wanted.

She sucked at this girlfriend thing.

Almost wanting to say no, she nodded. "Yeah, we should."

Disentangling herself from him, she made her way back to the front seat and Henry did the same. She watched him silently as he started the car and headed for her place, wishing more than anything that the feelings she had for Steve could be transferred to Henry instead.

There was nothing bad about the guy. Sure, he wasn't perfect - no one was - but in her eyes he was close. If she could fall in love with him, she figured she'd be pretty happy. She knew he'd never screw her over like Steve had done, but _those_ feelings just weren't there. She shifted in her seat, remembering the feel of his hands on her. At least he made her feel good.

They pulled up at her house a while later, and Anna was surprised to see Evie sitting on the porch. She and Danny weren't exactly close, so she was obviously there to see Anna … and Anna couldn't for the life of her work out why. They hardly spoke these days, and when it did, it was forced and awkward and no more than once every few weeks.

Unbuckling her seatbelt, she turned to Henry. "Don't hate me for sayin' it," she said, "but be careful tonight."

He grinned. "Sure, babe."

Leaning over, she gave him the kind of kiss she hoped made up for not being what he wanted her to be. When she pulled back, he opened his eyes and scowled.

"Get outta here," he muttered.

Anna grinned and got out of the car, throwing him a quick wave as he took off down the street. Pushing Henry and all her bad feelings about herself out of her mind, she made her way through the light rain to meet Evie.

Goddamn Evie. It wasn't the worst thing in the world for Evie to be there, but it sure wasn't good. They didn't share any classes at school, their paths between classes didn't cross, and there hadn't been any family dinners for months. They were still family, nothing was going to change that, but not seeing Evie _was_ a good thing. Not seeing her meant not thinking about her and Anna quite liked it that way.

Being family didn't change shit as far as she was concerned. Evie had done almost as much damage as Steve, and hadn't once apologised. A lack of apology was something she'd expected from Steve, but even he'd been decent enough to do that.

"Hey," Evie said, standing up.

Anna nodded. "Hi."

Silence followed. Horrible, tense, awkward silence.

"So," Evie finally began, "I saw Steve at work today."

Anna's heart sank, and she jumped to the obvious conclusion; they were back together. Evie seeing Steve, added to Anna's constant rejection of him, could only equal one thing. The idea of them being back together _again_ killed her, but it was exactly what had happened after he had cheated; Anna had rejected him, and he had run to Evie. It was happening again and everything he had said to her was obviously bullshit.

She didn't want to have to go back to seeing the two of them together. The idea of it made her sick, but she refused to think of what that meant.

"Oh yeah?" It might have hurt, but she kept her voice cool.

"Anna …" Evie waited for Anna to meet her gaze before continuing. "Why haven't you taken him back?"

"I … wait, what?"

Evie sighed. "Look, I know it's none of my business, I _know_ that. But you love him right?"

"No."

"Liar."

Anna said nothing. This wasn't the first time someone had called her on her lying. Not that she was lying …

"He ain't about to give up on you," Evie said. "He's gonna do whatever it takes; I think he proved that by getting you to kiss him the other week."

Anna crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you trying to help him? I mean, he dumped you for me, remember?"

"How could I forget? Glory, Anna, I might not have had what you had with Steve, but I still had something."

She shook her head, heading inside. "I don't wanna hear this." She'd already had one confrontation that day; another one - especially with Evie - was the last thing she wanted. She wasn't ready for this.

"Why not?" Evie followed. "Jealous?"

Yes. So utterly jealous that she hated herself for it. She remembered arguing with Evie after finding out her cousin had tried to kiss Steve at the DX. Evie had practically confirmed feeling nothing for Steve then; she had wanted to get back at Anna and that was it. Having seen them making out more than once the last time they were together was bad enough; hearing that there were feelings involved was nauseating. Especially when she had no delusions about the two of them sleeping together.

She shrugged off her coat and chucked it on a dining chair. "If what you had with Steve was so damn special, then why're you here?"

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean, why are you tryin' to help him? You had _something_ with him, but he still dumped you twice, and both times had something to do with me." She shook her head. "But now you're trying to convince me to take him back?"

Evie sighed. "Yeah, because I know it's what you both truly want."

"Right. So you're trying to make up for all the shit you've pulled, is that it?"

Anna's heart was thudding, but she felt good. She thought she hadn't wanted this, but she and Evie hadn't had any kind of confrontation since the night of Two-Bit's birthday. After Evie had helped Steve cheat, she and Anna had seemed to come to some kind of silent agreement to never mention it, but now that it was happening, it felt good. It felt deserved.

"Maybe it is," Evie said.

"Yeah, well, you're wasting your time. I'm with Henry now."

"Are you?"

"What does that mean?"

"Glory, Anna." Evie scoffed. "You kissed Steve! Everyone knows it!"

She said nothing. There wasn't anything to say; Evie was exactly right and it was something Anna herself couldn't stop thinking about. Steve's kiss had been on her mind constantly. _Steve_ had been on her mind constantly.

She glared at Evie. "How is this any of your business?"

"Well, I guess it ain't."

"Of course it ain't." Anna started tidying the kitchen, just to keep her shaking hands busy. "But why the hell would that stop you from sticking your nose in? You did it when I was with Steve, and you're trying again now."

"That's not fair."

"Not fair? Not fair is you trying to kiss by boyfriend while he's at work. Not fair is you getting him into bed not an hour after he leaves my house." Anna scoffed. "Not fair is the two of you making out at Buck's without even bothering to tell me you were back together."

Evie fidgeted. "We didn't think you'd want to know.'

"Of course I didn't want to know! I didn't want it to be true." She regretted the words the moment they were out.

"It's not as if you didn't do the same thing to me," Evie said. "You stole him first."

Anna couldn't believe they were back to that. "At least I had the decency to tell you to your face. I didn't let you find out by catching us making out at Buck's."

"You know what, Anna? If you didn't want him moving on you should've taken him back."

Anna stilled her movements, staring at Evie. "Are you kidding me? He cheated on me. He cheated on me with _you_."

"He thought you were leaving!"

"You - you're taking his side? You're _my_ cousin but you're takin' his side? He dumped you twice, he used you to hurt me, but you're still takin' his side?"

"Yes!" Evie's voice had risen quickly, and she seemed furious. Anna didn't get it. Not even a little. "He wants you back. Everyone knows that, too."

"I don't care!"

Evie was angrier than Anna had ever seen her. "That's bullshit. You think it's not completely obvious you want him back? I've seen the way you look at him, the way you blush when he stares at you, and I _know_ you kissed him back."

Anna's heart was pounding from Evie's words. "That doesn't mean anything."

"Everyone can see it, Anna. Probably even Henry."

"Leave Henry out of this," she snapped.

"Then admit you want Steve back."

"I don't want him back."

Evie practically growled in frustration. "You do!"

"No, Evie, I don't. I can't!"

Silence followed for a moment, and Evie raised an eyebrow.

"You can't?" Evie persisted when Anna said nothing. "Why not?"

She shook her head. "Just go, Evie. I don't even know why you're here."

"I told you -"

"You told me you're trying to help him get me back, but all you've done is bring back all the shit the two of you pulled!" Anna sighed. "I don't get it. What d'you want?"

"I want …" Evie trailed off and her whole body sagged in defeat. "Last time, when I kissed him at the DX, it was to get back at you. You know it was. But when we got back together this time it was different, okay?"

She seemed to be waiting for an answer so Anna shrugged, not understanding and not finding it okay at all. She didn't want to do this. Talking about Steve was something she hated, and she especially didn't want to do it with Evie. Even more than that, she didn't want to think about the things Evie was saying.

"I knew I wasn't who he really wanted," Evie said. "I knew that, but I still fell for him all over again."

"You did?" Anna was surprised and it made her a little sick, but couldn't really blame her cousin. It was over six months since their relationship ended, and Anna still wasn't over him.

Evie nodded. "I didn't love him, but it definitely hurt when he broke up with me again. I guess I realised then that you must've felt a hundred times worse than I did. You _loved_ Steve, and he cheated on you." She grimaced. "With your cousin."

"Yeah, but who really thought that me and Steve would last anyway?" Automatic sarcasm had always been her best defence. This seemed like the perfect time for it, because she _had_ thought she and Steve would last.

"I did," Evie said. "After hearing you say you loved each other … I know we're only seventeen and too young for that stuff, but I could tell it was real with you and Steve."

Not knowing what to say to that, Anna turned the conversation back around. "So, you're here because you feel bad?"

"Saying I'm sorry wouldn't mean anything, Anna, that's why I've never done it. The only way I can think of to really apologise is to give you and Steve what you really want."

"Which is what?"

"Each other."

No. Anna sighed. Maybe. She shook her head. _No_. She wasn't over Steve, and she definitely still had more feelings for him than she would like, but she didn't want to go back to him. But glory she missed him, and she was so sick of trying to being angry at him. At both of them. She wished more and more everyday that Steve and Evie had never slept together.

Evie was sitting at the counter, looking calm and relaxed and too damn perfect for Anna's liking. But for once, for the first time in months, Anna didn't feel angry at her. There was still a whole lot of bitterness, but no anger.

"Hey," she said, "you want a Coke?"

XXXXX

The rumble was set to begin at 11pm, and it was getting close. Even if Steve hadn't known what the time was, he'd know it was close just by the mood of the guys around him. Unable to help himself, he glanced at Pony, wondering how the kid was doing with this. Steve hadn't been through what Pony had been through that night, but he sure as hell wasn't feeling great about what lay ahead.

He wasn't chickening out, and he was sure as hell looking forward to beating the River Kings, but memories of their last rumble had a way of sticking around. And not just with him, he was sure. Darry was towering over Pony, and Steve _knew _he was once again checking to make sure Pony wanted to be there. Steve had to give the kid credit; after everything that had happened he was still ready to fight with everyone else. He was surprised Darry was letting him, and that Darry himself was there.

Looking away, Steve turned to Henry Phillips and Jack Hennings. "You sure this is no weapons?"

"Sure is," Phillips said. "Hamilton reckons that when he kills Tim, he wants it to be with his bare hands. Not sure how much I believe him, but I just do what Tim says."

Despite all the shit Steve had pulled trying to get Anna back - including convincing her to kiss him while she was drunk - Henry seemed almost friendly toward him. Steve just hoped it was because he was looking forward to the fight, not because things were going so well with Anna.

He pushed her out of his mind. Last thing he needed to be doing at a rumble was thinking about some broad.

"Here they come." Soda's voice was quiet in Steve's ear.

A group of guys were making their way toward them, and Steve saw they were dead even in numbers. Of course, their side would have a few more had Curly gotten out of juvie early, or if Dally and Johnny were still around.

Steve's chest felt heavy at that thought. Never before had he been in a rumble without Dallas. In fact, there weren't many fights he'd been in without Dally around to back him up.

There was no quiet build up to this rumble, not like there had been with the Socs. Instead, Hamilton threw his jacket on the ground, stepped in front of Tim, and smirked.

"I'm gonna fuck you up, Shepard."

In response, Tim chuckled and threw the first punch.

Had the guy who had beaten him with the pipe the other week not been so damn small, Steve would have kicked his ass without another thought. But not only did he have more pride than to fight someone so small, Pony already had him on the ground. Not wasting anymore time, Steve found the next best thing, and started in on the twitchy guy who had jumped him.

He threw a right hook to the guys face as soon as he saw him He wasn't a bug guy - tall, yet kind of scrawny - but he fought better than Steve would have thought. All his breath left him when Twitchy sucker punched him.

"Christ," he muttered.

Sucking in any breath he could get, Steve charged at him, and they both went flying to the concrete ground. Twitchy's head landed with a sickening thud, and Steve smirked, pressing his knee into his chest and punching him in the jaw. Again, the guy surprised Steve by grabbing onto his T-shirt and rolling them over. He sure had more strength than Steve had thought.

They rolled, kicking and punching whenever they could. When Steve got punched in the head, he grabbed the guy's free hand and bent the fingers back as far as they could go.

"Son of a bitch!" Twitchy cried, pulling his hand back.

It gave Steve the advantage he needed. Pushing the guy off him, he got to his feet and kicked as hard as he could. He might have found himself with three broken ribs after the last rumble, but he had no sympathy for this guy. He would've kept kicking this guy all night long were it not for the ringing of gunshots that sounded far too fucking close for his liking.

His breath caught, and he spun on the spot, half-expecting to see Dallas falling to the ground in front of him.

"Fucking idiot!" someone yelled. "Get the fuck out of here."

Steve looked around for his buddies, taking in that each one was standing and breathing as the River Kings ran. His nose was bleeding, and he quickly wiped the blood away, wondering what the fuck had happened. He took a step forward, intent on getting to Soda, but stopped when his foot slipped in something wet.

He looked down, already feeling sick. Frowning at the dark puddle he was standing in, his gaze followed its path, reaching the mess of blood coming from the bullet would. Muttering a curse, he dropped to his knees next to a grimacing Danny.

_If ever again a greeting I send to you,  
__Short and sweet to the soul I intend._

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**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Reviews would make my day :)


	15. Every Breath We Drew

**Disclaimer:** _The Outsiders_ belongs to S.E. Hinton. "Hallelujah" was originally written by Leonard Cohen, and has been covered by a whole bunch of people. The version that became the fourth most played song on my iTunes while writing this chapter is the Jeff Buckley one ;)

_"This fic/chapter is being posted as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sues. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honour."_

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**CHAPTER FIFTEEN  
****Sunday, January 29****th****, 1967**

_Well, baby I've been here before,  
__I've seen this room and I've walked this floor,  
__You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya._

Looking down at himself, Steve realised he should have showered and changed first. Dried blood caked his hands and arms, the bottom of his black T-shirt was streaked with blood from where he'd tried to wipe his hands, and even the knees of his jeans were stained. The fact that he'd managed to wipe the blood from his face wouldn't mean a damn thing.

He took one last drag of his smoke before flicking it out the window and glancing at the piece of shit clock in his dashboard. 12:17am. Rubbing his knuckles, he wished time wasn't so important. He wished he could go home and shower, or at least wash his hands and change his shirt. He wished he had more cigarettes, because he'd almost finished the half pack he'd had left during his drive. He especially wished he didn't have to do what he was about to do. It made him feel awful, but there was no one else to do it. It was all up to him, and he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

He climbed out of the car, swearing at the rain that was beginning to fall, and made his way up to the house. It might have been after midnight, but lights were still on inside and there was no car in the driveway. Only one person was home and he knew they wouldn't be asleep.

Steve paused when he reached the front door. Taking his comb out of his pocket, he ran it through his hair, ignoring the faint red smudges he left on it and the shaking of his hands. He felt sick, but he knocked on the door, his heart pounding a mile a minute.

Anna opened the door a moment later, and despite the situation, Steve couldn't help but notice how good she looked. She was still dressed - wearing a skirt that was a little longer than he would have liked - her hair was loose around her shoulders, and her face was free of any makeup. He thought she looked beautiful, and he suddenly hated himself for too many reasons.

"Steve -" Her voice caught as she looked at him, eyes widening at the visible blood. "You're hurt?"

He shook his head. "It ain't my blood."

"It's not …" Her eyes glazed over for a moment and he actually thought she might faint. Her breathing became low and she paled. He stepped forward, just in case.

She blinked and focused on him again. "Danny?"

He nodded. "He got hurt pretty bad. He's - the ambulance came just as I left."

Her lip trembled and he prayed to everything that she wouldn't cry. He couldn't hug her with her brother's blood all over his clothes. She didn't cry, though; she closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them, her gaze flicked past him and back again.

"Will you take me to the hospital?"

That was half the reason he was there. "Yeah."

She quickly slipped into some shoes she'd left by the door, and followed him outside. Not a word was said as they hurried to his car, Steve opening the door for her before going to the driver's side.

Stealing a glance at her as he started his car, he hated himself for being the one to tell her. There was no way he was going to let anyone else do it, though. He supposed, _technically_, it should have been Phillips; he was her boyfriend, after all. But Tim had sent Phillips and the rest of his boys to their downtown meeting place with orders not to leave until he said so.

Then he'd looked Steve right in the eyes and said, "Someone's gotta tell the kid."

He hadn't been talking about Ponyboy, that was for sure. Steve had just nodded in reply.

"Tell me what happened," Anna said as he drove.

Steve took a breath. He didn't want to - he didn't want to tell her a damn thing - but she deserved to know. So he told her everything he could. He told her that Danny had been shot by someone who had decided to bring along a weapon, but didn't say one word about all the blood. He told her that the River Kings had run right away, but not how scared their side had looked upon seeing Danny. He told her that when he left, Danny was alive, but didn't point out that he was talking in past tense because there was a chance he wasn't anymore.

There had been an awful lot of blood.

A sob escaped her at the mention of Danny being shot, but when he glanced at her, Steve was glad to see her eyes dry. With nothing else to say, they rode in silence the rest of the way - Steve sneaking looks at her when he could, and Anna gripping tightly at the seat she was sitting on - until pulling into the hospital parking lot a few minutes later.

He hated hospitals, he really did. He figured there weren't many people who actually liked them, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he really fucking hated hospitals. They smelled funny, and they were too clean - too clean for him to feel comfortable in. And he didn't feel comfortable or clean.

No one wanted to help them. Even with Steve covered in blood, and Anna in some kind of silent hysterics, no one paid them any attention.

"Where is everyone?" she finally cried, running her hands through her hair.

He didn't know what to say, but wanted to calm her somehow. He reached out for her, stopping as he took in his hands. If things didn't turn out well, the last thing he wanted was Anna to have her brother's blood on her clothes.

She looked at him. "Someone has to help us. Please, find someone."

There was desperation in her voice, and as torn as he was about leaving her alone, Steve was ready to storm the halls until someone came to help them. Finally, before he took a single step, a nurse came up to them.

"Anna?"

She spun around at the sound of her name. "Mrs. Phillips."

"What are you doing here?" The nurse looked at Steve and frowned. "Oh dear, are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," he said. He waited for Anna to say something but she seemed at a loss for words again. "It's Danny. Can you find him? Let us know how he is?"

Mrs. Phillips - who Steve now assumed was Henry's mother - looked back at Anna, placing a hand on her arm. "Come with me to the waiting room, and then I'll go see what I can find out, okay?"

Anna nodded and looked at Steve pleadingly. He could see the question in her eyes, and followed without a second thought. He hadn't wanted to be the one to tell her, and he sure as hell didn't want to stick around in the goddamn hospital, but at the same time there wasn't anywhere else he'd rather be. It made no sense to him, but there was no way he was leaving her alone.

Following Anna and the nurse, Steve's gaze flittered around the hospital - all white walls and fluorescent lighting. It was enough to give him a headache. Nothing about this place was good. It didn't matter to him that people's lives were saved here; the entire building was depressing, and this was exactly where Johnny had died.

Minutes later, they were left alone in the waiting room; a few minutes after that, another nurse brought Steve a wet cloth to clean his hands and arms; and fifteen minutes after that, Steve began getting antsy. He hated having to sit around and do nothing like he was, but it was all he could do. He supposed he could get up and pace with Anna, but someone needed to stay calm - or at least seem calm.

He wasn't calm. He wasn't freaking out, but he sure as hell wasn't calm. If Danny Harris was dead … he couldn't even imagine what that would do to Anna. She'd been a mess after her grandpa died - losing Danny would just about kill her. Sure, she was tough, but not that tough. She loved her brother more than anything.

Looking at her, he wished she would just sit down and let him look after her. He wanted to help, in any damn way he could, and now that his hands were clean, he could. His shirt was streaked in blood, but that wasn't visible and that had to count for something. But he knew Anna; there was nothing that would comfort her except finding out how Danny was.

Steve just hoped finding out how Danny was would be a comfort.

He almost doubted it; the guy had been shot, and there had been _so much blood_. Steve had seen the wounds, he had been the first one at Danny's side doing whatever he could to keep the blood in, and had heard the frustration in Tim's usually calm voice when one of his boys had questioned his decision to call for help.

He knew it wasn't good.

Leaning his elbows on his knees, he watched Anna continue to pace. She hadn't said a word to him since asking him to find some help, but he didn't expect her to. He just hoped she knew he wasn't staying out of any kind of obligation. He wasn't there because she was alone, he wasn't there to repay her for coming to him after Dally and Johnny died, and he wasn't there because Phillips wasn't.

He was just there. Just in case she needed him.

It surprised him how well she was taking things. Anna could keep calm as well as anyone he knew, but the most awful situations - the ones that really hurt her - had her in a mess. Her grandpa dying, finding out Evie had kissed him at work one night, and when she had found him outside her house, wanting to apologise. She hadn't been able to hold back her emotions those times. It worried him that she was doing it now, and he suddenly wondered if how Anna was feeling was how Pony felt when waiting for word on Dally and Johnny after the fire.

She seemed to sense his gaze on her and stopped mid-step. She lifted her head and looked at him - eyes wide, hair messy, and looking sick. His heart sank. Her eyes looked nothing but dazed and he had no clue what she was thinking or feeling. It was always times he _needed_ to be able to read her that he couldn't. When she finally spoke, her words cut right through him.

"What if he dies?"

_Fuck_.

He stood. "Anna -"

Her lip trembled again. "We've been fighting for weeks, and about something so stupid." She took a shuddering breath. "God, Steve. What if he _dies_?"

"He won't die." Telling her that went against everything he believed in, but at that moment he just couldn't be honest with her. He had to give her some hope, even if turned out to be a lie and she never spoke to him again. He had to get that dazed look out of her eyes.

She shook her head, not looking at him. "You don't know that."

"Hey, c'mon." He cupped her face in his hands. "Anna, look at me."

She did. "He might die."

Now he couldn't tell her otherwise, not while she was looking into his eyes like that. Instead, he promised her the only thing he could. "It'll be okay. Whatever happens, it'll be okay."

He'd make sure of it. He couldn't do a damn thing about Danny, but whatever happened, he'd look after her. Before she could say anything to him, Tim arrived. Steve dropped his hands, half-expecting Phillips to come in next.

"Where is he?" he asked, looking between Steve and Anna. "Is he alive?"

Steve wanted to hit the bastard for asking such a stupid question in front of Anna. She hadn't seen it. Sure it was a fucking gunshot wound, but she didn't know just how bad it was. His knuckles itched and fists clenched, but Anna got there first.

She spun around to face Tim, hair flying and nothing but hatred in her eyes.

"This is all your fault," she spat, giving him a hard shove that barely moved him.

Tim frowned at her. "Hey -"

Anna slapped him. Steve had seen plenty of guys get slapped by girls - had even been slapped by Anna not so long ago - but none of them compared to when she slapped Tim. The _crack_ was deafening in the quiet waiting room, and a pink tinge immediately spread over the left side of Tim's face. He looked at her in shock.

"If he dies, it's all on you," she said in a low voice. "You and your stupid gang shit. How could you let this happen? He's supposed to be your right hand man or whatever, isn't he? Doesn't that mean you should have his back, too?"

"I do have his back," Tim said.

"Then you should've stopped this from happening!"

This was the kind of outburst he had been expecting from Anna since he had told her about Danny. Some kind of blame, some hatred, and some outright fury. Though it still wasn't as bad as he'd expected.

Before Tim could say anything else, the nurse came back. Steve didn't know how these things worked, but hoped the calm expression on her face was relief, not some kind of detachment they had to have to work in a hospital.

"Anna?" she said.

Anna turned to look at her. "Did you find him?"

Mrs. Phillips ignored her question. "Is your father coming up?"

"I - I haven't …" She looked at Tim. It seemed no matter her anger at him, she still turned to Tim before Steve.

"I'll call him at work," Tim said.

Anna didn't give any indication she'd heard him other than looking back at Mrs. Phillips. "Did you find him?" she asked again.

Mrs. Phillips nodded. "I did. Normally I'd wait until a parent arrived to be with you before telling you anything, but under the circumstances -"

"Just tell me he's gonna be okay," Anna said, and Steve's stomach dropped at the hopeless tone she used.

"He's in surgery," Mrs. Phillips said. "The bullet hit a major artery in his shoulder and he's lost a lot of blood. They're doing everything they can, but we won't know any more for a while."

A chill went through Steve's body at those words. "They're doing everything they can to what?"

Mrs. Phillips' expression didn't change. "To save him."

All the life seemed to drain out of Anna as the nurse left. Tim followed quickly, mumbling something about calling someone. Silence filled the waiting room as Steve watched Anna. Her breath huffed out, her shoulders sagged, and her head lowered. He didn't know what to do. Danny could die, and Danny dying would be worse for her than anything else that had happened; her grandpa dying, Steve's cheating, her mom leaving - none of those would even compare.

He realised then that maybe that was why she wasn't freaking out as much as he expected her to be. Maybe this was all too much.

He moved to stand next to her, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Hey -"

"Don't." She pulled away as though he had burned her.

"Anna -"

She stepped back, not meeting his gaze. "Leave me alone."

"I just wanna help."

She shook her head, turning away. "Then leave."

Steve watched as she moved to sit on the other side of the waiting room, and Christ how he almost wished he _couldn't_ see how she was feeling. She wouldn't look at him, but she didn't have to. Everything was on show now, and he hated all of it.

Her brother might die, and there was nothing Steve could say or do to make her feel better because he had seen it. He had seen the blood, and it didn't escape him that the only other time he had seen that much blood was when Dallas had died.

Running a hand through his hair, he glanced at the clock that read 1:35am, and sat back down in his chair.

XXXXX

Anna couldn't see properly. Everything was so damn white and bright. It hurt her eyes, and she had spent most of the night staring at the ground to get away from it. And to get away from everything else.

If she didn't have to see it, she didn't have to believe it, and not seeing or believing it was exactly what she needed. She could block out the heavy feeling of Henry's arm around her. She could block out the burn of Steve's gaze as he _still_ sat in the waiting room with her. She could almost block out being in a hospital, waiting to see if Danny would live.

Her dad was talking to the doctor at that moment, and Anna wasn't sure she wanted to hear anything that came from that conversation. She wasn't blind; she had seen Steve's hands, arms, and T-shirt. There had been a lot of blood. There had been a lot of blood because Danny had been _shot_.

But so long as she could continue burying her face in her hands and staring at the green carpet or her own eyelids, she could forget. Forget that they were _trying to keep him alive_. Or at least try to forget. It wasn't as if she had anything else to keep her mind on - to keep her distracted.

If anything, she found herself unable to think many coherent thoughts at all. Her mind felt blank and heavy and she kind of liked it. It wasn't the time for such an empty state of mind, but she still wanted more of it. One thought had managed to filter its way through the fuzz, and the longer she waited to hear about Danny, the harder it was to push the thought away.

She remembered the pain in her chest after Grandpa Joe had died. Remembered feeling it when her dad first told her, feeling it later that night at Buck's, and feeling it every time she thought about him for months after. She didn't want that feeling again. She especially didn't want that feeling because Danny was dead.

Forcing back bile, she closed her eyes and slouched against the body next to her. Henry had turned up a while ago. She didn't know how or when; all she knew was she had been sitting on some bench in the waiting room when someone had sat next to her, wrapping her in their strong arms.

For a second - one stupid second - she had thought Steve had tried to comfort her again, despite her having told him to go. She had been ready to burst into tears and cry against him until she realised it hadn't been him. There had been no scent of the car oil that always lingered on his skin, mixing in with the soap and aftershave he used. Instead, the scent of rain had hit her, Henry's voice had been whispering in her ear, and her body had tensed even more.

Opening her eyes, she looked at Steve. He looked so handsome and calm. She wished she could hate him, but if it hadn't happened before then, it wasn't going to happen ever. He met her gaze, just like he had every time she had looked at him that night, but that didn't surprise her. What surprised her was that he was still there. Somewhere deep inside she knew it shouldn't surprise her - especially when that one thought of Grandpa Joe penetrated her mind - but she couldn't quite understand it

This time when she looked at him, and unlike every other time that night, she didn't look away. She stared into his blue eyes that held a mix of concern, warmth, and annoyance, and remembered the way he had kissed her, dulling her pain. The ache in her chest was already there, it hurt so damn bad, and she just wanted someone to make it better.

She looked away from him when her dad came back into the waiting room. Stan Harris might not be the jerk he once was, but he wasn't Danny. She couldn't tell by looking at him what the doctor had told him, but wasn't sure she wanted to. If Danny didn't make it - if he had died - she wouldn't have anyone. It was the thought that had been threatening her all night, and as the pain in her chest increased, she looked desperately at her dad, silently begging him to say it was going to be okay.

"He's gonna be fine." Her dad looked right at her when he said it, and Anna wasn't sure she had ever loved him more. "He's gonna be in here for a while, and on some heavy pain medication, but he'll be okay."

Anna buried her face in her hands, fighting the urge to cry in relief.

"Listen," Stan said, sitting next to her. "He's in recovery til morning, so we can come back and see him then, but for now I'm gonna head straight back to work, and I think you should go home. These hospital bills are gonna cost a fortune and we're gonna need the money, and you look like you need to sleep."

She didn't want to leave Danny, but couldn't stand to stay in the hospital any longer than she had to. "Okay."

"You're gonna be okay at home, yeah?"

She nodded; if Danny was going to be okay, she was going to be okay.

"Good. You think your boyfriend can give ya a ride home?"

Anna tensed at the word _boyfriend,_ and didn't miss Steve's scowl, but nodded anyway. Ten minutes later, all of Danny's visitors had left the hospital, and Anna was on her way home with Henry.

But she didn't want to be in Henry's car with him. It was cold - the back window never went all the way up - it was big and loud, and it wasn't even that nice to look at. And most of all, Henry Phillips was not Steve Randle. After everything that had happened that night, she knew Steve should be the last thing on her mind. But, after everything that had happened that night, she knew Steve was who she needed.

He had come to her, telling her about Danny, before spending the rest of the night in a hospital waiting room with her. He had stayed the whole time - while she had been freaking out, when she had told him to get lost, and even when Henry had turned up. He had stayed. And she knew why.

"Anna?"

She looked at Henry, for the first time taking in the bruise forming on his jaw, and said nothing.

"You need me to come inside?" he asked.

Turning, she noticed they'd arrived at her house, and no, she really didn't want him to come inside. She didn't even want to go inside. What she wanted was … she didn't even know. It wasn't Henry, it wasn't Steve, it was something she couldn't even describe. Or maybe it was just her brother, at home in his own bed, having not been shot.

She shook her head. "No thanks."

Silence followed, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Everything was too messed up for her to be worried about a bit of silence. Danny had been shot, she had slapped Tim, Steve had stayed. She closed her eyes, not wanting to deal with any of it.

"Listen, Anna," Henry said, and she opened her eyes to look at him. "I know my timing is awful, and if things hadn't turned out okay with Danny I wouldn't even consider saying this, but I can't keep doin' this with you."

"What do you mean?" She wasn't even sure she cared.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I mean, I saw every look you gave Randle tonight. I'm not angry because it's impossible for me to be angry at you, but if you're gonna go to him when I drive off, then I can't be with you." He sighed. "We're only official because you felt guilty for kissing him; I can't keep being your second choice.

Anna frowned, not saying anything.

"But," he continued, "if it's me you need - me you want - then I'll take back every word I just said. You know I wanna be with you, but I think we both know you want something different. _Someone_ different."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, because apparently she _did_ care, she opened her mouth to say something.

Henry stopped her. "Do you want me to come inside?"

She almost wished he was talking about coming inside for sex. At least then she would have a reason to say no - to maybe even be pissed at him. But he wasn't. He was talking about coming inside and doing whatever the hell she wanted him to do because he cared that much. There was nothing she could say to that. All she could do was shake her head and push back tears of frustration.

Henry sighed. "Okay … if you change your mind, or need anything at all, you know where to find me."

Technically, she had just dumped him without saying a damn word, and she still couldn't find her voice. Pushing her hair out of her face, she opened the door and climbed out into the rain.

XXXXX

Steve had showered and changed. Despite washing his hands at the hospital, it had been a relief to get out of the bloody clothes and wash himself properly. Getting dressed seemed pointless, but so did going to bed. He wouldn't be able to sleep - he knew it. Getting dressed and going to Soda's seemed like the best idea. No one would be up, but the door would be unlocked, and he'd feel a whole heap better at the Curtis house than his own.

He was drying his hair with his towel - knowing it would just get wet again when he ran to his car - when the knock at his window came. He froze, wondering if he was crazy enough to get his hopes up, because who the hell else would knock at his window at three-thirty in the morning? Turning, he strode over to the window, and lifted it.

Anna was standing there, her clothes completely soaked, her hair plastered to her forehead, and her whole body shivering.

"Can I come in?" she asked, through chattering teeth.

Shoving the window right up, Steve held out his hands and helped her in.

"Christ, Anna." He set her on her feet, closed the window, and pushed her wet hair out of her face. "You're soaked."

She nodded, lip trembling as tears began to fall. He didn't know what it had taken to make her finally break, but he quickly pulled her close. She fell against him - hands gripping his T-shirt, dripping water soaking his clean clothes, and body shaking against his. All he could do was wrap his arms around her and let her cry.

And he didn't give two shits about the water or his clothes. She could drip all over his bedroom if that's what she needed; he'd wait her out and do whatever the hell she wanted him to do. Her brother had almost died and he'd do anything to make her feel better.

Sobs racked her small body, and Steve's heart ached as he remembered Danny telling him he had spent an hour watching her cry. He wondered if her tears then were anything like they were now, and hoped to fucking God he hadn't hurt her that much.

It was when her soft lips press against his neck that he realised she had stopped crying. She was still shaking, still gripping his T-shirt, but her breathing was even and she was trailing kisses on his bare skin.

"Anna." Her name came out choked, and he pulled her back. "Whaddya doin'?"

"Danny - he could've … I _need_ _you_ to make it better, Steve," she whispered, and it was probably the most open thing she had ever said to him.

"Where's Phillips?" he asked. She didn't answer, only shook her head. "Anna?"

"Henry broke up with me."

Steve's mouth went dry. Surely that wasn't why she was there, why she had been crying. He wanted to be there for her, but not for that.

"He said - he said that if I was planning on coming to you after he dropped me off, then he couldn't see me anymore." She gave him a look he had never been able to say no to. "I need _you_, Steve, but if you don't want me - if you want me to go - I'll go back to him; I can't be alone, and I know he'll -"

"No." His hands gripped her waist probably tighter than they should have. "Don't go back to him."

They both knew he was talking about more than just that night.

"That's what I was hoping you would say," she whispered.

And then she kissed him. She kissed him and it was all soft lips and a desperate need he had only felt from her once before.

He decided very quickly that he was, in fact, crazy. Her arms were around his neck, her perfect curves pressed against him, and her tongue driving him mad, but he tried to stop her again. He tried to do the right thing.

When she kissed along his jaw, he told her to think about what she was doing. When she dragged his T-shirt up his willing arms, he told her that she was still angry at him, that she would regret it in the morning. When she began licking and nibbling a path down his neck while her fingers slinked down to his waistband, he told her in a strangled voice that doing this wasn't going to make her feel better.

But when she undid his jeans, fingers grazing the skin above his boxers - looking at him with still wet eyes and giving him _that_ look - he kissed her, realising he'd been crazy for even considering telling her to stop.

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch,  
__And love is not a victory march,  
__It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah._

_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-ing. Reviews would be perfect.


	16. Passive Me, Aggressive You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "All of This" by The Naked and Famous. I've already said it in my chapter three disclaimer, but y'all should check them out.

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**CHAPTER SIXTEEN  
****Sunday, January 29****th****, 1967**

_As the plans turn into compromise,  
__The promises all turn to lies._

She was an awful person, that's all there was to it. An awful person, who was acting like a tramp, and who couldn't even find her underwear.

"Shit," she whispered, fighting back tears.

Doing up the zipper on her skirt, Anna glanced around the room, refusing to look at the mass of blankets she knew covered Steve. It was a surprise he hadn't woken yet; he'd been pressed against her, holding her to him when she'd woken, and it had taken all of her willpower to decide to leave, and all of her concentration to get out of his bed without waking him. With the sneaking around his bedroom, searching for her clothes, and muttered curses that had followed, she half-expected him to be watching her.

Biting her lip, she checked, just to make sure. He was still facing her, breathing softly, fast asleep. A part of her - that same part that wanted to just be with him - thought about climbing back into bed with him and never leaving. The sane part of her - the part that knew she should have listened to his words the night before - felt like crap and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

Finally finding her underwear, she slipped it on and left, not looking back once. She was an awful person.

She had only broken up with Henry the night before, and she knew that Steve wanted to be with her, and she had gone and done this. She had slept with him, just to make herself better. And it had made her feel better.

He had told her she was still angry at him, that she would regret it in the morning, and that it wouldn't make her feel better, but only one of those were true.

She wasn't angry anymore; somehow, over the last month and a half, Steve had wormed his way into a place in her heart that wasn't angry at him anymore. She was still hurt, and she wasn't sure she had forgiven him, but she wasn't angry.

After the way he'd been there for her - at the hospital and when she'd gone to him - she wasn't sure she could be angry if she tried. He had made her feel so good, had taken her mind off everything, and she was more than grateful. For a while then, he _had_ made her feel better.

But she sure wished she hadn't done it. Henry didn't need to ever find out, but it sure would hurt him if he did. And Steve … she knew he wanted her back, that he still had some kind of feelings for her, and she had basically used that knowledge to get him to make her feel better. She had needed him, no one else but _him_, and he had been there. He had been amazing, but she wasn't willing to let it be more than it was. They'd had sex, he'd been there for her, that was all.

She hated herself for treating him like that. He'd cheated, and he might have deserved to be hurt by her a few months ago, but he'd been nothing but good to her lately. The night before proved that, and she had just used him.

Leaving his house, she broke into a run, desperate to get home. She felt bad, but there was still a part of her tugging her back, because Christ he had made her feel good. Being with Steve again had been better than she could have imagined.

She slowed her steps as she turned onto her street. There was no point in worrying about this. She felt bad, and she regretted what she had done - more for others' sakes that her own - but there wasn't anything she could do about it. And anyway, Steve had cheated on her - she shouldn't feel bad about anything.

Except the way she had treated Henry, who might just find out after all. She stared at Tim as she reached her house. He was sitting on the hood of his car, smoking, and watching her.

"What're you doin' here?" she asked as she reached him.

He threw a glance down the way she had just come. "Where ya been?"

Tim Shepard wasn't stupid, and Anna knew lying was pointless. "Steve's."

"Huh. Henry know about that?"

Anna pursed her lips. "I'm sure he had his suspicions when he dumped me last night, but it'd be great if you didn't confirm them."

"Christ, kid." Tim chuckled. "You're ballsy, I'll give ya that."

She supposed he was right. After slapping him only hours earlier - and leaving a nice pink mark to stain his scar - she knew she had no right to ask anything of Tim. She did it anyway.

"You won't tell him?"

He shrugged. "I ain't in the business of getting involved in my boys' love lives."

"Right." She nodded, feeling awkward. "So, what're you doing here?"

"Figured I'd wait around until it wasn't too early to wake ya. With your dad working, I thought you might need a ride to the hospital."

She gave him a once over. "You ain't been home, have you?"

Tim grinned. "You wanna stop for breakfast on the way?"

After grudgingly letting her shower first, he drove them to some small diner downtown. It wasn't until he paid for her pancakes that she began feeling bad.

She had never been a violent person. The closest she had been to being in a fight was when she had tried to attack Ruth, which had been completely pointless. As Steve had so kindly pointed out moments after that - she couldn't fight worth shit at the best of times. But now she had _slapped_ both him and Tim.

But, unlike when she had slapped Steve, Anna hadn't felt bad for hitting Tim. She had stopped blaming him, but she hadn't felt bad until her paid-for-by-Tim pancakes arrived. If anything, the memory of slapping Tim had been keeping her from freaking out. Danny was going to be okay, but … _shit_. He had still been _shot_.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," she said quietly.

Tim looked at her, and for the first time, she didn't feel like just Danny's little sister when he did it.

"Shoot, kid, at that stage we didn't know if he was gonna be okay or not." He leaned back in his seat, lighting up a smoke. "Could hardly blame ya for bein' pissed at me."

"Well, I shouldn't've done it. I know you would've done whatever you could to make sure he was okay.

"He's my buddy; I've always got his back."

She knew it. She knew it the night before, too. "Don't tell Danny I did it, okay?"

He smirked. "Sure, kid."

XXXXX

Steve liked sex. He particularly liked sex when it was with the girl he wanted to be with. The girl he had thought he might very well have back when she had spent the night in his bed. But, no. Not only was she no longer in his bed when he had woken up in the morning, but he just knew he didn't have her back.

It fucked him off, it frustrated the hell out of him, and it even kind of hurt. They had slept together. It wasn't just some one night stand - it was him and Anna, and that _had_ to change things. Even if he knew they probably shouldn't have done it.

After everything that had happened the night before, Steve had known exactly why she had come to him. It wasn't because she had felt the sudden urge to be with him, it wasn't because she had missed him, and it sure as hell wasn't because she wanted him back. She had needed … comfort? Reassurance? A distraction?

Maybe all three.

And after some careful persuasion on her side, he had been ready to give her everything She had been upset, and he hadn't been sure they were doing the right thing, but then she gave him that look.

That look. Fuck, but it killed him every time. What's worse was he could still remember every single time she had given him that look, and it sent an icy pain through him every time he did - which was more often than he would like.

There was nothing particularly exceptional about it - a furrow of her eyebrows, lips pursed downwards, and eyes reluctantly meeting his. And when she looked up at him with those green eyes - dry but shiny - it tore him to shreds.

Turning her away had never truly been an option, he knew that, but when he thought about it that morning, he wasn't sure he had done the right thing.

By then it was too late and she was sneaking around his bedroom, picking up items of clothing that had been thrown recklessly - landing on the windowsill, on the floor, and he was pretty sure her underwear had landed somewhere behind his dresser. He had watched her silently, ready to open his mouth and ask where she was going, why she was leaving, but then she spoke.

"Shit."

She was completely dressed by then, except for her panties that she was frantically searching for. It wasn't that she spoke that stopped _him_ from doing so, nor was it the curse that came from her lips. It was the way her voice broke as it came out. She was so obviously close to tears, and as much as he wanted to be there for her, hold her, tell her it would be all right, he couldn't.

Because he knew without a shadow of doubt that he would just make things worse for her. It was a bad habit of his and he really didn't like it so much. So he feigned sleep and let her leave.

His mind was in constant confusion about whether or not he had done the right thing by sleeping with her. It had been perfect, but she had spent the night at the hospital, waiting to hear about her wounded brother. He couldn't help but feel he had taken advantage of her, despite her being the aggressor.

He supposed that maybe, just maybe, he was so fucking desperate for her by then that he would have let her in no matter what she wanted from him. He had put up a good fight - tried to do the right thing - but she had just kept going.

And he had let her. Because it was what she wanted and needed - _he_ was who she wanted and needed - and no matter how badly she thought of him, he really did care about her. So he had kissed her, and a small part of his reasoning for that might have been to simply have her. He cared about her, he wanted to make her happy, he wanted her so fucking much.

There had been no chance of him turning her away, but he had known how she would feel in the morning, and there had been a moment when they were both undressed where he had forced himself to try again. Just to be sure.

"Anna," he said hoarsely, resting above her, "maybe we shouldn't -"

She had silenced him with fervent kisses and soft hands.

He was too weak. They had been back and forth for so long that he didn't know what else he could do - not just to get her, but to make her happy.

But then she had left. Deep down he had been hoping that that was it - that she'd come to him and he had her back. But she left without a fucking word, not giving a shit.

Creeping past his passed out dad, he headed out the house and toward Soda's. He wasn't about to brag, but Soda would know what to do. He couldn't stop thinking about Anna, but the problem wasn't just their past and her leaving and her brother. It was Henry fucking Phillips.

He didn't know what had gone on when she had been dating him. He'd asked Anna enough times, but she'd never said whether or not she had slept with Phillips. She had insinuated that she might have, but it could have just been to piss him off. He vowed to never tell her how well that had worked.

But even if she hadn't ever slept with him, her words were still there. If Steve had turned her away, she would have gone to Phillips, and maybe that was a whole other reason why he hadn't told her to leave. The idea of her not getting what she wanted from Steve and going to Phillips killed him.

The fact that she had let Henry break up with her because he knew she wanted Steve didn't escape him. He just hoped being dumped by Henry didn't upset her, and that was for entirely selfish reasons.

Soda was sitting outside, smoking, when Steve turned up.

"How's Danny?"

Steve shrugged. "He's gonna be okay."

"What about Anna?"

Making sure Darry and Ponyboy weren't around, Steve sat. "She stayed with me last night."

Soda raised an eyebrow. "You mean you guys …?"

"Yeah."

"Let me guess, she was gone when you woke up this morning?"

Steve nodded.

"Shit, man. I'm sorry."

Shrugging, Steve decided he didn't want to talk about it after all. He glanced back into the house, hearing Pony and Darry laughing. Sleeping with Anna was all he'd been able to think about, but there had been something tugging at him mind all day …

_She loved her brother more than anything._

He'd thought it at the hospital, and it was completely true. He'd always known it, but last night he'd seen it. No matter what they'd been fighting about, Anna loved and needed her brother. It was unconditional, just like Pony with Soda.

"Hey, you remember Millie?"

"The woman who was datin' your dad, right?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, her. She's knocked up."

Soda was silent for a moment, before breaking into a grin. "You gonna be a big brother, Stevie?"

He smirked. "Yeah, I guess so."

"That's great! Right?"

"I dunno, man. I mean … I didn't think so, but it might be okay."

"Yeah?"

Steve shrugged. "I wasn't sure, you know? But after seeing Anna last night - well, I always knew Danny was the most important person in her life, but seeing it was different."

Seeing it changed everything. No matter what, Anna loved Danny, Anna was there for Danny, and Anna looked up to Danny as though he could do no wrong. Being in Danny's position - minus the gun-shot wounds and with his own brother or sister - didn't sound so bad.

"She sure loves her brother," Soda agreed.

"Yeah." He paused. There was only one other person he'd consider having this conversation with, but she had ditched him that morning. "I guess I'm just worried. I mean, what if I ain't cut out to be a brother?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Just look at the way I've treated Anna," he said, not wanting to bring up Johnny or Pony.

Soda leaned back against the porch steps. "You mean how you told her about her brother? Or about how you let her stay with you last night, probably knowing it didn't mean as much as you'd like? Or how, if I know you at all, you spent the night at the hospital with her?"

"Well, when you put it like that …"

"You messed up once, Stevie. Well, twice if you count gettin' back with Evie, which I'm sure Anna does." Soda grinned. "But you've been good to her, too. You ain't the most patient guy around, but I think you'll make a good brother."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

XXXXX

Danny was asleep. Anna stared at him, unable to remember him ever looking so pale, so still, so lifeless. She wanted to shake him, make him wake up, and tell him to stop acting like such a girl.

Her gaze slid to his chest and the white bandage and she sucked in a breath. It still amazed her that he'd been shot, but was still alive. After what had happened to Dallas, she had been thinking the worst. After what had happened to Dallas, she was surprised Steve had been able to even think straight the night before.

Sighing, she reached for Danny's hand, squeezing lightly. When he squeezed back, she looked back at his face in shock.

"You're awake!"

He looked at her, bleary-eyed. "Keep it down, kid."

She bit her lip, trying to keep back her tears. She'd made enough of a fool of herself by crying all over Steve; she didn't need to do it now.

"You okay?" he asked.

"You're the one who was shot."

He chuckled, and it was too raspy. "Just in the shoulder. A little too close to an artery, apparently. From what the pretty nurses tell me, I nearly bled all over the place."

So she didn't have to answer that, she grabbed the pitcher of water, pouring some into a cup.

"Here," she said, holding the straw out to him. He took a few sips before talking again.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Are _you_ okay?"

He nodded. "'Course."

"You look terrible. And … you know, you were shot." Her voice broke as she said it, and Danny squeezed her hand again.

"C'mon, Miss B. I'm okay. I know you got a fright, but I'm fine."

A few tears escaped, and she quickly swiped them away. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The things I said to you. We've been fighting for weeks, and you nearly died! I was so horrible to you."

"Hey, calm down. You get too upset and they're gonna kick you outta here."

She wiped her face, knowing he was right. "I'm so sorry," she said, again.

"Forget it, Anna. I was too pushy, and I should've realised you weren't up for it." He grinned at her, but it was weak. "You sure put on a tough face, but you're still my sister; I should've known."

"You're my brother," she said. "I shouldn't have said the things I did. I didn't mean any of it."

He smirked, but she thought he looked a little relieved. "We gotta not fight, okay? I know Dad's been better than ever, but all we've really got is each other."

He was right, and she was reminded of her thoughts the night before. Danny was all she had - at least, she had thought he was. She stayed silent, thinking about Steve.

"Who brought you here?" Danny asked, looking as though he was trying to stay awake.

"Tim. He's outside."

"He bring you here last night?"

She shook her head, slowly. "Um, no. Steve did." Danny was silent, waiting for her to continue. "He stayed with me the whole time," she said. "Didn't leave me alone for a second."

"Right." Danny sighed. "I guess this means you broke up with Phillips."

Anna shrugged, not wanting to go into it. "I really am sorry. I've hated this stupid fighting."

"It was pretty stupid," he agreed.

She grinned, but Tim came in before she could answer. Stepping back, she let them talk for a few minutes, only listening in when Danny brought up the River Kings.

"What's gonna happen now?" she asked.

Tim looked at her. "With what?"

"Rex and the River Kings?"

He smirked. "Rex is in jail. Me and the boys were feelin' awfully honest when the cops wanted to talk last night."

"So it was him?" she asked, looking at Danny "He did it?"

"Yeah." Danny reached for the cup of water, and she jumped to his feet to help him. He continued after a few more sips. "You don't gotta worry about that anymore, though."

"He's right, kid," Tim said. "Hamilton's behind bars - will be for a long while - and once his boys found out Anita was less willing and more drunk when he scored with her, they started wonderin' about their own sisters."

"Really?"

Tim scowled. "According to Mercer, the new leader, they had a lot to be wondering about, too."

She shivered, remembering Rex grabbing her that night. But it was done. He was in jail, Danny was okay, and she had Danny had made up. Watching him fall quickly back to sleep, she sighed quietly. Other than Steve Randle, things were looking okay.

_All I had was the hope that pieces would take shape,  
__And we could watch them all fall into place._

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**A/N:** I know some readers were expecting Steve and Anna to get back together in this chapter ... try not to yell at me if you decide to review anyway ;)

Beta'd by RileysMomma. Reviews make me happy.


	17. Spend Some Time with Me

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab for Cutie.

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**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN  
****Wednesday, February 2nd****, 1967**

_How I wish you could see the potential,  
__The potential of you and me._

After everything that had happened, all Steve could be glad about was that Anna wasn't back with Phillips. He could handle sleeping with her and having her gone in the morning, and he could even handle her ignoring him since, but he wouldn't be able to handle her being back with Phillips.

_I need you, Steve_. Those were her words, and they had to mean something. Shit, they meant everything to him, surely they meant something to her, too.

He might understand why she'd left on Sunday morning, and he could understand why she was avoiding him, but he didn't like it. And he was fucking sick of it. Things hadn't been this bad in a while, and he hated that all the progress he'd made had disappeared. All because he'd been there for her, and done exactly what she wanted him to. He'd done what she wanted - what they'd both wanted - and now she wouldn't even look at him.

So he was doing what any guy as desperate as he was would do; standing outside her math classroom, waiting for her. Even if she gave him no indication that things had changed, he just had to see her - talk to her.

The end of class bell rang, and Steve waited as students poured into the halls. Anna saw him as soon as she was out of the classroom, but quickly looked away and started down the hall. He followed, frustrated that she was heading the wrong way to her next class just to avoid him.

"Hey," he said, catching up to her.

She glanced at him. "Hey."

"How's Danny doin'?"

She stopped then, looking at him in surprise. He frowned, resisting the urge to tell her he wasn't so heartless that he didn't care how her brother was doing. Though, he couldn't really blame her for expecting something other than concern for her brother to be the first words from his mouth. He just hated that she wouldn't hold his gaze for more than a second.

"He's doing okay. Still in the hospital, and on some pretty strong medication, but he's okay."

Steve nodded. "Good."

"Yeah, it is." She looked down the hallway, and Steve followed her gaze, annoyed when it landed on Kathy. "I gotta get goin'," she said.

"Don't go yet. I wanna talk to you."

She grinned, walking backwards and away from him. "I have to. We'll talk later, okay?"

The word _liar_ was on the tip of his tongue, but he just nodded and watched her walk away. There wasn't exactly anything else he could do.

"Hey, man," Two-Bit said, appearing beside him.

"Hey."

"Anna ignorin' you?"

Steve nodded. "I think so."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Kathy's pissed at me, too."

"What for this time?"

Two-Bit chuckled. "Who the hell knows, man? You feeling like skippin' next period?"

He sure as hell did, but not with Two-Bit. There was something he had to do, and since Anna didn't want to be near him, he had to do it alone. He glanced at Two-Bit.

"Yeah, but I got some stuff to do."

"What kinda stuff?"

He shrugged. "You know, just stuff."

"Secret stuff, huh?"

"Somethin' like that. Come around after school, and I'll tell ya."

Leaving Two-Bit in the hall, Steve made his way out of the school. In his car and pulling out of the school parking lot, his mind was still on Anna. He knew her pretty well, and it wasn't just the fact that she had slept with him that had her avoiding him. She had done more than sleep with him - she had opened up in a way she never had before.

"I really thought he was going to die." In the cacoon of the blankets around them, in their post-sex haze, her voice had been so quiet in his dark bedroom, and he had been so sure she was telling him was the biggest secret he would ever hold.

And because of that, he decided to be honest.

"So did I."

She lifted her head a little, so her face was closer to his. "You didn't show it," she said. "You were so calm."

He gave her a small smirk, even though she couldn't see it. "Someone had to be."

"I don't know how you did it. You were covered in blood. His blood. I felt a little crazy just seeing it."

He shrugged, not sure was to say. The fact was that he had been calm for her, but it wasn't the time for that conversation. They were both silent a few moments, Anna's warm breath sending shivers over his skin, while his hand spread between her shoulder blades.

"I've never been so scared in my life," she admitted, voice shaky. "When I realised the blood all over you was his and you said he'd been shot - I nearly lost it. I mean, my mom took off when I was twelve, my dad hit me last year, and my grandpa died not even a year ago, but tonight …"

"You thought Danny was gonna die."

"He's all I've got." Her fingers spread over Steve's heart as she spoke, still whispering. He wanted to tell her that wasn't true; she had Kathy, her dad, Tim, Two-Bit, _him_. But he stayed quiet. "He's the only one who's never let me down."

"Anna …" he trailed off, not sure how to reply. He couldn't see her eyes, but he knew she was looking up at him. "You're just as important to him. You know that, right?"

"Sometimes."

"Only sometimes?"

She sniffed softly. "Most of the time, I guess. It's just lately he's been actin' different, and I know it's because we were in a fight, but that just made the whole night worse. If he had died, thinking I was angry at him … I never would've forgiven myself."

"What were you fighting about?"

For a long moment, she didn't say anything. He wondered if she didn't want to talk about it, or if she didn't want to talk to _him_ about it. Finally, she sighed.

"Grandpa Joe," she said quietly. "It was that day you and Two-Bit picked me up at the DX, and I was just - I was so awful to him. I couldn't even stand to be near him."

He stayed silent - partly because he didn't know what to say, and partly because it seemed like one of those times he had to just let her think things through and not push it. So he said nothing, but continued tracing patterns over her back. It was a while before she spoke again.

"All he wanted was to sort out Grandpa Joe's things and not have to do it alone, and you know, he shouldn't have to do it alone. I should have stayed there with him." She sniffed again, voice breaking with her next words. "He must hate me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"How do you know that?"

Steve curled her hair around his fingers. "Because I saw him get scared before he got angry when I told him Hamilton came to your work. Because I can remember how worried about you he was the night your grandpa died. And because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of his punches after hurting the person he cares about most."

She sighed again. "I don't know what I would've done if he'd died. He … he's the most important person to me. I don't think I would've coped without him."

"Yes you would have," Steve whispered.

She shook her head against his arm and he felt her tears drip onto his skin, but he stopped her because he was right and he couldn't let himself believe otherwise. Grasping her cheek in his hand, knowing he should let her keep talking, he kissed her. He kissed her and hoped like hell it was enough to make her realise everything he couldn't say because it wasn't the right time, because he didn't want to scare her off, because lying with her after what had just happened, he wouldn't be able to handle the rejection.

She would have been okay. He would have made sure of it.

She had fallen asleep in his arms a few minutes later and been sneaking around his room when he had woken in the morning. Now, fifteen minutes after ditching school, he was parked back outside Millie's, pushing Anna out of his mind for now.

As he looked up at Millie's apartment, he still wasn't sure what to do. He'd go in, he had to go in, but he didn't know what to say to her. After last time, he was barely sure he could face her.

Deciding to grow some damn balls, he got out and headed up the stairs. He felt calmer than last time, and he wasn't sure if it was because of Soda's words, or Anna's words, or a little of both. Reminding himself of what he'd realised the night Danny had been shot, he stopped outside Millie's door.

Putting off the inevitable, he grabbed his comb from his pocket and ran it through his hair a few times, before finally knocking.

It took a minute for anyone to answer, but when Millie opened the door, she smiled widely.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey."

"You by yourself today?"

He nodded. "Anna's at school."

Millie grinned, opening the door wider. "That's probably a good thing. I can't have two kids skippin' class to come see me. You wanna come in?"

Hands shoved in his pockets, he walked inside. It was still weird, but it didn't feel as bad.

"Want anything to drink?"

"Uh, no thanks."

"You wanna sit down?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

Millie raised an eyebrow. "Is there anythin' you would like?"

"I dunno. I mean …" He looked at her, staring at her huge bump. "How pregnant are you?"

"Almost eight months."

He said nothing, not sure what else to say. There was a lot he wanted to know, but none of it he felt comfortable asking. He wasn't about to ask Millie if it was okay for him to keep visiting. Luckily, he didn't have to.

"You gonna run out on me again?" Even as she said it, Millie was smiling.

"Nah, not this time."

She nodded. "Good. You know, you can come visit anytime you want."

"Yeah?"

"I know you're a good kid, and I don't want this kid not knowin' you."

Staring at her bump again, he said nothing. Anna thought the baby would need someone like him in its life, Soda thought he'd be a good brother, and even Millie wanted the kid to know him. Just like sleeping with Anna, this had to mean something. All he had to do was get used to the idea.

He looked at her. "I think I might come visit some more."

Millie gave him a watery smile, and he sure hoped she didn't cry. "You wanna see the nursery?"

Taken aback, all Steve could do was nod.

XXXXX

Tossing her books onto one chair, Anna threw herself into the one next to Tim. Huffing, she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Bad day?" Tim asked, smirking at her.

Anna looked at him. "You're a gang leader."

"Yes, I am."

"You must be great at avoiding people you don't wanna see," she said, sitting up in her chair. "Teach me your ways."

"That's dramatic. Even for you, kid."

She rolled her eyes. "Boys are frustrating."

Frustrating was an understatement. While Steve obviously wanted to sit down and have some kind of deep and meaningful conversation - she smirked at _that_ idea - Henry wouldn't even look at her. She wanted to apologise, but wasn't sure how. Or even how well it would go down.

"You ain't gonna get all slap-happy on me again, are ya?"

"No," she said, grinning.

"Good. And just so ya know, chicks ain't much better."

She ignored the dig, but was curious about what kind of girl problems Tim was having. She grinned, finding it highly unlikely he'd tell her about them, and changed the conversation. "How is he? Why're you out here?"

"He's fine. The nurse is checking his blood pressure and all that other stuff. I don't think she cared that I was there, but Danny chucked me out." He smirked. "The nurse is a cute blonde thing, by the way. You know how he is with blondes."

Anna made a face. "Not something I need to know."

The cute blonde nurse chose that moment to come out of Danny's room, and Anna made a face at the blush on her cheeks.

"Can we go in?" Tim asked.

She nodded. "But he's tired, so don't stay long."

Anna glared at that. She'd only just arrived; she was going to stay as long as she damn well pleased … or until Danny chucked her out, whichever came first. Picking up her books, she followed Tim inside.

"Hey, kid," Danny said, when she walked inside.

She smiled, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "How you feelin'?"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. How was school?"

Making another face, she dropped her books to the floor, and sat on the edge of his bed. "School was school."

"Anna had a bad day," Tim mocked.

"Aw. Is someone pickin' on you, Miss B?"

She glared at both of them. "You two are the only ones pickin' on me. What gives?"

Tim smirked. "You're an easy target."

"Am not."

"I gotta agree with Tim on this one. Doesn't take much to get you goin'."

She huffed. "Whatever."

In all honesty, she was too happy Danny was teasing her to get annoyed about it. He'd been quiet and pale and sleeping an awful lot the last few days. Seeing him with a bit more colour and energy, and having him pick on her was a good thing. She couldn't be angry about that. Not even when he and Tim started talking about that damn nurse.

She let her mind drift. She sure felt bad about Henry. If there was a way to make things right with him without turning back the clock, then she would. She still cared about him, and she'd do just about anything. Too bad there was nothing. She would apologise. Eventually. He deserved an apology. She had slept with Steve, after all, even if Henry didn't know that for certain.

Steve. That one night with him had changed everything. She hadn't let herself really think about it until she had been sure Danny was on the road to recovery, but once she started, it was near impossible to stop. Steve hadn't made a wrong move that whole night, and that scared the crap out of her.

For weeks now, she hadn't been able to move on with Henry, she hadn't been able to deny her feelings for Steve, and she hadn't been able to pretend Steve didn't exist. But, until that night - and not counting the kiss at Buck's, because she had been drunk - she had been able to resist _him_.

Resisting him was what had been keeping her sane. She was still hurt and sometimes angry, but she was no longer disgusted by his touch and that was dangerous. If she was honest, she hadn't been disgusted by his touch for a long while - the kiss at Buck's came to mind once again - but she'd still been able to keep from throwing herself at him.

Steve had always been able to talk her into all kinds of things with a simple stroke of her skin, a kiss on some sensitive part of her neck, a particularly heated look. If she didn't have her resistance to that anymore, then she didn't have anything.

Except the hurt and anger. And her pride. But even the hurt and anger had faded a hell of a lot, and she wasn't sure she really had any pride left after the way she'd acted Saturday night, all the things she had said to him.

Sunday morning she had snuck out of his room, embarrassed at the way she had kissed him, touched him, _slept_ with him. After careful consideration over the last few days, she knew it wasn't just that. She had snuck out because she was humiliated at the things she had admitted to, the way she had opened up to him. She didn't like talking about her feelings, and couldn't believe she had been so open that night.

She had no pride left. Other than the lingering humiliation, she had nothing.

XXXXX

Anita looked near tears as she sat in a booth at the Dingo, and Anna immediately regretted asking her how things were going with Soda. Glancing at Kathy, who was sitting next to her and not paying any attention to the conversation, she really hoped Anita didn't cry.

"He kissed me!"

"He _kissed_ you?" Anna couldn't help but grin. "Wow."

"Sure, _wow_. If he hadn't freaked out and left almost right away."

"He left?"

Anita nodded. "He left his _own_ house to get away from me. I was just left there. Alone."

"That's a little weird."

"He's such a jerk, and I hate him. I hate Soda Curtis."

"I'm not sure I've ever heard those words before," Anna said, grinning.

"Yeah? Well I mean it. I hate him, I really do."

"Of course you do."

"I can tell you don't believe me," Anita said. "But it's true. I don't want anythin' to do with him."

"You're a really bad liar."

Drooping in her seat, Anita sighed. "I know."

"Does Soda know that you reckon you hate him?"

"He ought to. I never said those exact words, because unlike him, I'm a _nice_ person, but I think he got the general idea of what I was saying."

Still grinning, Anna played with her straw in her Coke. What amazed her was that, despite being completely smitten with Sodapop, Anita truly believed everything she said about him. Well, except the part about hating him - that was a terrible lie. But Anna could tell she really did think Soda was a jerk.

"What happened this time?" she asked.

Anita rubbed her hands over her face. "I don't wanna talk about it. We just argued, and … he kissed me, then he left. And I don't know what he said to Ponyboy, but he won't even speak to me now."

Anna sure was curious about what Soda had done. She wasn't Soda's biggest fan, but she still had a hard time believing he'd do anything to intentionally hurt anyone. Especially Anita.

"I'm sure things with Pony'll come right," she said.

Anita nodded, but said nothing.

Looking back at Kathy, Anna wondered if _she_ was okay. She had barely said a word since arriving, and hadn't touched a single fry on her plate.

"Kathy? You okay?"

She looked up. "Yeah, I'm fine. Actually, I'm kinda tired, I think I'm gonna go. You guys need a ride?"

Anna and Anita both shook their heads, and Kathy got up and left without another word. Anna watched her go, worried about her best friend, but distracted when Henry walked past Kathy and into the Dingo. He met her gaze briefly, but immediately looked away.

"_Is_ she okay?" Anita asked.

Anna shrugged. Trying to forget about the mess she had made with Henry, she watched Kathy's taillights as she drove out of the parking lot. She had been acting a little strange all day, and that wasn't the first time Anna had asked if she was okay. Despite the obvious truth, Kathy kept saying she was fine.

"I dunno."

Anita leaned forward. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well … I mean, you and Henry …"

Henry. Guilt flooded her and she glanced across the Dingo to where he was sitting with George Silvers. She pushed the guilt away; she'd deal with it when Henry stopped avoiding her the way she was avoiding Steve. Leaning back in the booth, she glanced out the window and sighed. Speaking of Steve …

"You wanna get outta here?" she asked Anita.

XXXXX

"You know, I reckon that girl has a sixth sense about me," Two-Bit said. He pulled into the Dingo parking lot as Kathy sped down the street.

Steve smirked. "Good for her."

Two-Bit let out a sarcastic laugh. "Funny, Stevie. Especially coming from the guy who can't even get his girl to stay in the same room as him."

Climbing out of the car, Steve scoffed. "That's bull. Me and Anna share study hall everyday. In the same room."

"Right." Two-Bit grinned. "So she has to be forced to be in the same room as you?"

If it wasn't for Steve's good mood, he would've whacked Two-Bit upside the head for that one. Instead, he smirked and told him to shut it.

Two-Bit laughed. "Let's eat, man. All this news about you bein' a brother made me hungry.

Steve smirked, still pleased with how well things had gone at Millie's. He followed Two-Bit toward the Dingo, deciding it was just good timing when Anna and Anita came out into the dark parking lot. He stared at her and she scowled, obviously not happy to have run into him.

She reluctantly stopped in front of him, and he smirked. So she didn't want to talk to him; he could deal with that. He didn't want to, but he could. However, he wouldn't. As soon as the chance came - which he thought might be pretty soon - he'd be on her case, trying to get her to say more than five words to him.

As she rolled her eyes and looked away, he couldn't help but notice the barely visible pink tinge to her skin under the Dingo lights.

"Anita," Two-Bit said. "Dear, sweet Anita."

Anita sighed. "Yes, Two-Bit?"

"I was wondering if I could have a private word?" Two-Bit said, grin forming. "About some troubles I'm having in … math." He threw his grin at Anna. "See, you and Pony are so darn smart, but he's not around and you are and I could really use some help."

"You're lyin'."

Two-Bit nodded. "I sure am, darlin', but how about doin' a buddy a favour? C'mon, I'll buy ya a Coke."

Anita said nothing, but Steve didn't miss Anna's slight nod of agreement. A thrill went through him, and he stepped closer to her. Waiting for Anita and Two-Bit to head inside, he grabbed Anna's wrist and tugged.

"Finally given up on avoiding me, huh?" He pulled her towards the privacy of Two-Bit's car, surprised at how little fight she put up.

She shrugged. "Figured I oughtta at least see what you want."

"You know what I want," he said. And he knew she did. He'd told her enough times.

"I don't," she insisted, pulling out of his grasp. "I ain't no mind reader."

Steve leaned close, causing her to lean back against the side of the car. "Are you being purposely frustrating?"

"Isn't that one of the things you love about me?" She raised her eyebrows, all innocence.

He just smirked. He wasn't about to answer that in any way. She blushed again, looking away.

"I'm glad you came to me," he said.

She fidgeted, not meeting his gaze. "Look, the only reason I told Anita to go was so I could tell you to leave it alone, okay? I don't wanna have this talk with you."

And there went his good mood.

"Why the fuck not? You came to me, remember?"

"Of course I do, but do you really think that's the most important thing to me right now? Danny's still in the hospital; I need to be concentrating on helping him recover - not what happened with you."

"This isn't just about what happened. It's about what's gonna happen."

She sighed, breath visible in the cold night air. "Nothing's gonna happen, Steve."

He ignored the sinking feeling in his chest. "Something has to happen. I know you, Anna, and I know this meant something. You came to me because you needed me; not anyone else." He paused a moment. "Do you wish you hadn't?"

"Hadn't what?"

"Do you wish you hadn't come to me?"

She was silent for a long moment, seemingly thinking it through, and his heart hurt the entire time. Finally, she sighed. "I did regret it," she admitted. "I don't anymore."

He almost sighed with the relief running through him. "Well then?"

"Well what? What do you even want from me?"

"I just want you." He slipped his fingers around her wrists and stepped closer. Leaning down, his heart pounded at how close she was, and he spoke quietly into her ear. "These last six months have been hell without you. Stop pushing me away and take me back." He knew this pleading was as close to begging as he would get.

She didn't say anything for a long time then, and he just hoped she was remembering the good, not the bad. Because he hated to admit it, but there was a lot of bad. The good two months they'd had together didn't make up for all the bad shit he had said and done to her.

Stroking her pulse points with his thumbs, he waited. She didn't pull away from him, but she didn't move closer. And all he wanted was for her to give in, wrap her arms around his neck, kiss him …

Finally, she sighed, disentangling herself from him. "I can't."

"Why not?"

She pushed him back, glowering at him. With a glance toward the Dingo, she snapped. "You seem to forget I only just ended things with Henry. I know ending a relationship and moving on right away is second nature to you, but not me."

And then she was gone.

_You reject my advances and desperate pleas,  
__I won't let you let me down so easily._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. This chapter went through a huge edit before posting, so feel free to point out anything that looks off. There's bound to be something I missed.


	18. No Words I know Of

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN  
****Sunday, February 4th****, 1967**

_My friends are so depressed,  
__I see the question of you loneliness._

Anna watched her best friend pace the front lawn, sure she had never seen Kathy so angry. Her fists were balled up at her sides, her curls were messier than usual due to the constant running of her fingers through them, and her eyes were wide and wild looking. She'd seen Kathy in a lot of moods, but never anything like this.

And there wasn't anything she could do. She had tried - more than once - but Kathy was pretty much unreachable. It wasn't what Anna was used to. Usually when Kathy was upset, she would mope, cry, bitch and moan. She didn't get truly angry very often, and when she did, it sure wasn't like this.

"Kathy?" she tried again, repeating the same words from a few minutes ago. "Is this about Two-Bit?"

Kathy said nothing, and Anna wanted to shake her. Even on the odd occasions Kathy had been angry and pacing, she had always been bitching and moaning at the same time. The silence was a little unnerving. It worried her.

But there was no doubt in Anna's mind that it was because of Two-Bit. After everything he had pulled the last few months, it wouldn't surprise her if he had done something to finally make Kathy see red. She couldn't think of anything bad enough that Two-Bit would actually do, but with the way he had been running his mouth off, anything was possible.

Sitting on the porch steps, Anna continued to watched Kathy. She had turned up half an hour ago and hadn't said one word since; she had just started pacing, and Anna just had to wait it out. Finally, as though realising just what she was doing, Kathy sighed, ran a hand through her hair again, and sat next to Anna.

"I'm late," she whispered.

"For what?"

"You know. My period."

Anna was on her feet in an instant, taking up Kathy's place pacing on the front lawn. "Oh my God."

"I know."

"Holy crap." Anna ran a hand through her hair.

"My thoughts exactly."

She looked at Kathy. "_Shit_!"

Kathy stood. "Not helping."

No kidding. Anna could only stare at her friend with wide eyes. There was nothing to say, and she could barely think straight. There were a million thoughts and a million words of shock running through her mind, but none of them would help. She wasn't sure anything would help. Swallowing hard, she took a step forward.

"What're you gonna do?"

"I dunno. Go to the doctor, I guess."

Anna said nothing. Kathy sat back down on the step and Anna watched her silently. This was huge and probably not a good thing. Kathy wasn't stupid. Unlike Anna, she didn't have to try at school; she was naturally smart, she studied because she liked to study, and she had plans. Plans for something more - something real.

This could change everything.

Sitting next to her, she thought aloud. "Maybe it's a false alarm?"

Kathy shrugged. "It could be."

"You don't think so?"

"I'm never more than a few days late. It's been two weeks."

"Oh."

"Plus … I don't know if it's all in my head because I'm freaking out, but I've been feeling kinda sick."

Anna sucked in a breath. "Wow."

"Yeah. And … this isn't supposed to happen, you know? I have my whole life ahead of me, I get really good grades, I have a chance for college. This isn't supposed to happen."

Silence followed, and Anna realised she wasn't exactly being the best friend she was supposed to be. Nothing encouraging had come out of her mouth, but she wasn't sure anything would. She didn't know what to say but she had to try.

"Do you want me to come with you? To the doctor?

"Would you?"

"Of course." Anna grabbed Kathy's hand and squeezed. "I'll do whatever you need me to do, okay?"

"Thanks.

"Have you told Two-Bit?"

It was then, after the anger and pacing and calm conversation, that Kathy started crying. Real sobs that Anna had only heard from her a few times before wracked her body, and Anna felt another surge of hatred toward Two-Bit Mathews. It didn't happen often - not as often as he made Kathy cry - but when he truly upset her like he had this time, Anna couldn't stand him.

"He was so horrible," Kathy finally said.

Anna hugged her, pushing Kathy's blonde hair away from her face. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

Kathy wiped beneath her eyes and took a deep breath. "I went to see him. I don't know if he was already drunk, but he was drinking. And … I didn't want to tell him, but I couldn't put it off any longer. So I told him I was late and that I hadn't been feelin' well - basically that I might be … you know." She shook her head. "I've never seen him look meaner than he did right then. I mean, it wasn't nasty, but it was … nothing. There was nothing there - almost as if it wasn't even Two-Bit. He just looked right through me."

"What did he say?"

"He asked why I was even telling him. He said that if I _was_ knocked up, it was probably Danny's."

Anna frowned. "But you and Danny … that was nearly a year ago!"

"Yeah, and we all know it. Glory, Anna, why would he throw _that_ back in my face? It only happened once and … shoot, that's not even the point. The point is, he accused me of _cheating_ on him." She gave a bitter laugh. "Can you believe that? _Me_ being the most likely to cheat."

Kathy was the most loyal person Anna knew. "I'm sorry your boyfriend's such a jerk."

"He's not my boyfriend anymore," Kathy said. "He's just -"

She was cut off as Danny shuffled out the front door, looking dishevelled. His arm was in a sling and his white bandage peaked out at the top of his T-Shirt. As far as Anna was concerned, he looked like he should still be in hospital. Kathy glared at him, as if the whole thing was his fault.

She stood. "I gotta get goin'."

Anna got to her feet. "You sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks for listening," she said, and left before Anna could get another word out.

"What's her problem?" Danny asked, as Kathy drove off.

"Um, it's complicated."

"Huh." Danny wasn't paying attention. "Hey, did Mary-Louise say when she'd be back?"

Anna didn't know when or how it had happened, but Mary-Louise seemed to have taken her place in Danny's bed back. She had been spending an awful lot of time looking after him, and a lot of time hanging around the house. Anna wasn't surprised; they'd been off and on for a long while, Mary-Louise seemed smitten with Danny, and even Danny seemed happier when Mary-Louise was around.

She shook her head. "All she said was that she was gonna go make you some chicken soup."

Danny grinned. "She sure likes to look after me, that girl."

"Don't know why she took you back again. You refuse to make any kind of commitment to her."

"This coming from the girl who strung Phillips along for as long as she did?"

Anna pursed her lips. Danny had won.

"Where's Dad?" he asked.

"Out on another date."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "That's two nights in a row. Think this is getting serious?"

"I dunno. It's a little weird, though."

"Why? Because of Mom?"

Anna shook her head. "Nah, just because it's Dad and he's _dating_." She giggled. "_That's_ weird."

"You got a point there. Hey, is he here to see me or you?" He nodded toward the road.

Turning, Anna found Sodapop walking over their front lawn. Her heart sank. "Probably me, but hopefully you."

Danny ruffled her hair. "Doubt it, kid. You're on your own." He went inside.

As Soda approached, Anna thought back to the last time she spoke to him, and realised she couldn't even remember. It might have been the night Rex Hamilton turned up at her work, it might have been the night Steve had kissed her at Buck's, or it could have even been before that. It wouldn't be shocking if she had ignored Soda both those nights. She had been ignoring Soda for a while now.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

He had been pissed at her for not taking Steve back after he slept with Evie. She hadn't been able to believe it at the time; Soda Curtis - Mr. Sensitivity who understood everyone - hadn't been able to understand why she wouldn't take Steve - the cheating bastard he was - back. She got that he was trying to help his buddy, but there had been no chance of her going back to Steve then.

"Think we could talk?" Soda grinned, and she almost caved. But she knew why he was there.

"If you're here to have a go at me, then get it over with."

He looked confused for a moment, before nodding. "I don't wanna have a go at you, but I don't think you're bein' fair to Steve."

"Because I ain't taking him back?" Anna raised an eyebrow when he nodded. "You know, I really thought that after everything that happened with Sandy, you might actually get it now, but you don't, do you?"

"Get what?"

"What it feels like to have someone you love cheat on you - screw you over so bad you can barely stand to think about them."

"I do know it feels like, but unlike you, I was willing to take Sandy back."

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out."

Hurt flashed over his face, and she immediately felt bad. She and Soda didn't get along anymore, but she didn't want to hurt him - especially not with something she knew about all too well. She'd felt terrible for him after finding out about Sandy.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just - I don't get how you can expect me to pretend like nothing happened. Especially now that you've been there."

"I don't expect you to do that," he said. "But I do think you're bein' unfair."

"About what?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You slept with him the other week, didn't you? Went to him when you needed someone? Used him to make yourself feel better? And now you won't even speak to him."

Anna flushed, hoping to God Danny hadn't heard that. The last thing she needed was Danny on her case about Steve. He could pick on her about anything else, but not Steve. She couldn't handle that - not when she didn't even know what was going on.

"That's none of your business."

"Don't worry," Soda said. "Steve didn't go into details - he never really did with you - he just told me what happened. And I think you're takin' this too far."

Pushing away the words she really wanted to focus on, Anna's anger rose. "I'm taking this too far? I might not be too bright, Soda Curtis, but I know a hypocrite when I see one."

He frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've been leading poor Anita on for a while now. We all get that Sandy hurt you, but it doesn't mean you get to treat that girl the way you have been - upsetting her the way you do."

Soda looked concerned at her words. "What's she said about me?"

Anna opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say. She couldn't help but wonder how her day came to this; talking to Kathy about possibly being pregnant, to talking to Danny about his new girl and their dad's new _lady friend_, to talking to Soda about Steve and Anita.

"She likes you an awful lot," she said, finally settling on an answer. "She's a nice girl and deserves someone good."

_After all she's been through_ finished that sentence, but Anna wasn't sure how much Soda knew about Rex Hamilton getting Anita drunk. She wasn't about to spill those beans.

"She's a nice girl." Soda repeated her words as though testing out how they sounded. Shaking his head, he looked at Anna. "She's not why I came here."

"Yeah, you came here because you think I should be as forgiving as you."

"No, I just think you should stop treating Steve like you have been. I know he hurt you, but you know he's been tryin' to get you back and he's been tryin' hard. He stayed with you all night at the hospital - not out of any obligation, but because he wanted to be there for you."

Again, she tried to think of something to say, but there was nothing. Soda was right, and she'd always known it. Steve had stayed at the hospital in case she needed him. It was just like last year when he had come to Grandpa Joe's funeral.

"You're giving him false hope, and that ain't fair," Soda said. "I know he messed up, but that was one mistake. Steve's a good guy, and he's loyal … and I think you know that."

He turned to leave then, and Anna couldn't even think of anything to say to his retreating form. Well, she could think of plenty, but was pretty sure she would just be repeating what she had already said.

Surprised - both at everything Soda had said, and the fact that he had even come to her, knowing a fight would occur - she sat back on the porch steps and reached for Grandpa Joe's necklace. Soda's words, the ones she had pushed to the back of her mind earlier, came rushing back.

_Steve didn't go into details - he never really did with you_.

It shouldn't matter as much as it did.

XXXXX

Steve sat on the couch between Soda and Two-Bit, wondering how the hell they'd all become so damn pathetic. Girls were just girls, and he wished Dally was there to kick their asses. If there was one person who'd never sit and mope about some broad, it was Dally.

"What happened, man?" Soda asked Two-Bit.

Partying a little too hard was a common occurrence for Two-Bit - especially over the weekend - but Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd seen him this drunk on a Sunday night. It wasn't even 10pm but Two-Bit looked ready to pass out. His eyes were glassy, his speech was slurred, and his clothes far too ruffled.

"Me and Kathy are done," he said. "For good this time."

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"I dunno. I mean, I know, but …" He trailed off with a shake of his head. "It's all so fucked up."

"You guys are always breakin' up," Soda said. "I'm sure you'll figure things out soon enough."

"Not this time, Soda. This time we're done. In fact, I never should've taken her back after she screwed around with Harris last year."

They were silent, and Steve didn't know what to say about that. Two-Bit had been angry about Kathy a few times, but this was a surprise. His bringing up Danny was even more of a surprise. As far as Steve knew, it had only been that one time, and nearly a year ago. He'd agree with Two-Bit, because Two-Bit was his buddy, but it wasn't like Kathy had cheated on him.

He pushed that away, because he _had_ cheated on Anna. He had cheated, but he still expected her to take him back. Pushing his luck was a definite possibility, but he wouldn't stop.

He turned to Soda. "What happened with Anita?"

"I kissed her."

"Again?"

"Yeah. I kissed her, and she shoved me away. I might've deserved it, though."

Two-Bit cracked open another beer, but said nothing.

"Why would you deserve it?" Steve asked.

"I ain't treated her very well," Soda admitted. "It's just - all those rumours, you know?"

"Anna had similar rumours goin' around about her a few years back." Not quite as bad as the ones about Anita, but Steve wasn't sure that was the point.

"Yeah, but after Sandy …"

He didn't need to finish that sentence; Steve got it. The last thing he wanted was his best friend falling for another girl who would screw him over, and he could even understand why Soda was worried about Anita. She seemed like a nice enough girl, and Soda wasn't the kind to listen to rumours, but Sandy had sure done a number on him.

"I think she really likes you," Two-Bit piped up.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhm. Wouldn't shut up about ya at the Dingo the other night."

Soda ignored that and climbed to his feet. "I'm gonna get an early night. You guys crash here if ya want."

With Soda gone, Two-Bit turned to Steve. "You want a drink, Stevie?"

"Nah."

Two-Bit nodded. "You see Anna today?"

"Nope."

They were silent for a moment, and Steve couldn't help but think about Anna. He wasn't going to give up on her again, despite her words at the Dingo the other day, but he thought toning things down a bit might not be such a bad idea. She _had_ just come out of a - he grimaced - relationship, and jumping into another wasn't her thing. Not pushing her might be his best option for the moment.

"Kathy reckons she might be knocked up," Two-Bit said softly.

Steve looked at him, shocked. "You serious?"

"Yeah. Told me earlier today."

That explained the beer and whatever else he'd been drinking.

"Shit, man. That's a big fucking deal."

Two-Bit nodded, not saying anything. Looking at him, Steve wasn't sure he'd ever seen him so completely messed up. It wasn't just being more than a little soused, it was Dally and Johnny, all the trouble with the River Kings, and whatever the hell had happened with Kathy.

"You should get some sleep, Two-Bit."

He nodded. "You think she loved him?"

"Who?"

Two-Bit looked at him. "Kathy. You think she loved Harris?"

"No."

"She must've really liked him to have slept with him."

Steve shrugged. "Have you really liked every girl you've slept with?"

Two-Bit grinned a drunken, half-asleep grin. "Touché."

The front door opened then, and Darry came in. He didn't seem at all surprised to see Steve and Two-Bit on his couch.

"You guys okay?"

"Just havin' a little pity-party," Two-Bit slurred.

"Where ya been?" Steve asked.

"Oh." Darry rubbed the back of his neck. "I had a date."

"A date?"

"Keep it down, Two-Bit." Darry glared. "I ain't a big deal."

"Was it at least a good date?" Two-Bit asked in a loud whisper.

Darry grinned. "Yeah, it was pretty good."

"Didja get laid?"

Flipping him off, Darry left the living room and Two-Bit and Steve's laughter.

"Who woulda thought? Superman's got a better love-life than us, Stevie."

Steve shrugged. "Well, he deserves it."

"Ain't that the truth."

_My friends are so distressed,  
__And standing on the brink of emptiness._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-ing. I'm updating a day or two early for two reasons. One: reviews cheer me up ;) Two: the next chapter is my favourite, so the sooner I post this one the sooner I can post that one, haha.


	19. Do You Miss Her right Now?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "She Loves You" by The Gaslight Anthem.

* * *

**CHAPTER NINETEEN  
****Saturday, February 11****th****, 1967**

_And if all was well then your heart could find the words,  
__Would we be for better, babe, would we be for worse?_

Watching Mary-Louise try and climb into Danny's lap was gross. So was the smirk on his face when his fingers disappeared beneath the hem of his girl's skirt. And when they kissed, Anna thought she might gag.

"What's your problem?" Danny asked.

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Hey, you ever heard of that thing with four walls and a door? It has a bed, a dresser, sometimes a desk? What's that called … oh yeah!" She snapped her fingers. "A bedroom."

"You ever heard of giving ya brother some privacy?"

"In the kitchen?" Her brother sure was a dirty bastard at times.

Mary-Louise giggled. "I don't mind if we go to the bedroom."

Danny's smirk grew and Anna grimaced. She supposed seeing them make out at the kitchen table wasn't so bad - they were only making out, after all - but she knew what they would do in the bedroom. She might have suggested it, and them being in there would be better than seeing them kissing in the kitchen, but she didn't need to know about it.

She was thankful when the front door opened and Kathy came rushing in.

"You ready to go?"

Anna nodded. "Definitely."

"Where ya goin'?" Danny asked.

She paused on her way around past the table, unsure how to reply. "Er … we're just gonna drive around a bit. You know, take in the scenery."

"Liar."

She said nothing, unable to think up any good lies. She looked at Kathy who was staring at her with wide eyes.

"Whatever." Danny shrugged. "Just make sure you're home for dinner. Dad wants us to meet his new _lady friend_. Oh, and stay the hell outta trouble."

"What kind of trouble would _I_ get into?"

Danny didn't even bother answering as Mary-Louise began whispering in his ear. Anna gladly turned away, grabbing Kathy's hand, and leaving the house.

Kathy looked sad as they made their way to her car. "You know, that's what bugs me." She pointed a finger in the direction they had just come. "Things have been over with me and Danny for nearly a year - he's moved on, I've moved … well, back, but that's not the point. The point is that Two-Bit's being a jerk about someone I'm completely done with."

Anna knew that was true; Kathy and Danny hadn't been into each other for a long time. She had suspected Danny still liked Kathy for a while after they stopped seeing each other, but he'd gotten over that pretty quick. A little awkwardness had hung around, but even that was long gone.

In fact, if it weren't for Two-Bit and his stupid words to Kathy last week, it was almost as though Kathy and Danny had never dated. It was just unfortunate that Two-Bit had said what he'd said, and not a word to her since.

"Any idea where we might find him?" Anna asked.

"Passed out in a gutter somewhere?" Kathy sighed. "I can't believe I have to do this."

"He's just gonna keep avoiding you otherwise."

"Is that really a bad thing?"

"Well, do you really want things to go on like this? I know driving around searching for him isn't great, but once it's done it'll be done."

"You're right. And when I stopped in at his house, his mom said he was at Steve's."

Of course he was at Steve's. Anna's heart sank at the thought, but she said nothing. This was Kathy's thing, and she had promised to be there for her.

The ride to Steve's was silent, and they arrived only minutes later. As they climbed out of the car, Anna looked at Kathy, pleased to see her friend look angry rather than upset. She didn't want Two-Bit to know how hurt Kathy was.

She heard Two-Bit's voice as soon as the car doors closed.

"Here she comes!" He smirked at Steve. "S'pose I oughtta get up and face the music, huh, Stevie?"

Anna glanced at Steve; they'd made small talk over the last week, but not much else. He hadn't given up on her, and definitely wasn't letting her forget he wanted her, but he was giving her some space. She wasn't sure how much she liked that.

Two-Bit stood when they reached them, hands in his jeans pockets, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Ladies."

"Where've you been?" Kathy asked.

"Around."

"I ain't seen you in a week."

"Huh. Ya know, I thought I was forgetting somethin'."

Anna looked at Steve again, and could tell even he knew Two-Bit was being an asshole on purpose. He was frowning at his friend, looking completely unimpressed. She wondered if Two-Bit had told him what was going on.

"That's all you've got to say to me?" Kathy asked, voice higher than usual. "You've been avoiding me all week - missin' school, not comin' around, not bein' _anywhere_ I might see you - and you have nothin' to say?"

"What did ya expect me to say?"

Kathy opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. "You know, now that I think about it, this is exactly what I expected from you."

"Look, Kathy." He stepped down from the porch steps to stand in front of her. "Whaddya want?"

Anna didn't miss the hurt on Kathy's face, but she took a deep breath and continued. "I thought you might wanna know that it was a false alarm. I'm not pregnant."

Two-Bit smirked, not looking relieved, just arrogant. "Hope ya let Harris know. He's already been through this once; he'll be glad to know this was a false alarm, too."

Anna sucked in a breath, and Kathy's eyes widened. It wasn't the mention of Danny and the problems Ruth Goodall had caused him last year, it was Two-Bit once again throwing Kathy's one night with Danny back in her face.

"Two-Bit, c'mon, man …" Steve tried, but Two-Bit ignored him.

Kathy licked her lips. "At least when Danny thought he'd knocked his girl up, he was plannin' on doin' the right thing by her and taking some damn responsibility."

"Yeah, right after he was done havin' his way with you."

"Christ, why are you bein' so awful?" Kathy asked, voice rising. "Seriously, Two-Bit, I get that you're cut up about losing Dally and Johnny, but you -"

"Don't you fucking bring them into this."

"You turned into an asshole and I can barely stand to be around you," Kathy continued. "People deal with grief in different ways, but none of your buddies have started this kind of shit. Steve's actually become nicer since it happened and you're just …" She trailed off, shaking her head while Steve looked at her in surprise.

"I'm just what?" Two-Bit's voice was all venom.

"Not the person I fell in love with. I hate to go getting all dramatic, but you've changed and I don't want you no more."

"Right back at ya."

Despite her words, Kathy's lip trembled. She nodded. "Well, you could've told me that weeks ago. It would've saved me an awful lot of time."

"Why would I do that? You think I give a shit about wastin' your time?"

"Obviously not; you've been doing it for nearly two years."

Two-Bit's eyes narrowed. "You're such a bitch."

"And I'm done. Shit, Two-Bit, I tell you I might be pregnant and you accuse me of sleeping around? You threw my one night with Danny back in my face instead of taking any responsibility!"

"You shouldn't have let him fuck you then!" Two-Bit yelled. "And on your first fucking date at that."

A hand grabbed Anna's wrist, pulling her away from where she was standing next to Kathy. She looked up, finding Steve walking past her and closer to Two-Bit.

"It's okay," Kathy said, glancing at Steve. Tears had filled her eyes, but she looked calm enough as she stared at Two-Bit. "Sometimes, Two-Bit, I really think I might hate you."

For the first time since arriving, Anna saw something other than anger in Two-Bit's eyes. He looked hurt.

Kathy continued. "Then I end up realising how pathetic I am because, as much as I try to hate you, I just continue lovin' you. It don't matter now, though. This - you and me - we're done. For good."

"Fine."

"I don't know if you believe me - I do have a habit of constantly taking you back, after all - but I don't care. After all of this … you can go to hell for all I care." As if to prove her words, she turned and headed back toward her car.

Anna ran after her, not wanting Kathy to be alone, but was stopped by Kathy claiming she needed exactly that.

She nodded. "Okay, if that's what you want."

Kathy climbed into her car and left without another word. Walking back to Steve and Two-Bit, Anna just looked at them. She didn't know what to do or say or think. A part of her was desperate to continue the fight on Kathy's behalf, but another part knew better. For once, Kathy had meant it when she said she was done; she didn't need Anna dragging it out for her.

She felt shocked and useless. Kathy and Two-Bit had broken up countless times, but it had never been like this. It had never been so final, so angry, so mean. She'd never seen Kathy like that before. And there wasn't a thing she could do - for Kathy or Two-Bit.

"I'm gettin' outta here," Two-Bit mumbled. He walked past Anna, avoiding her gaze.

She wanted to shake him - to make him go after Kathy and apologise, take it back, tell her he loved her. But she did nothing, just watched him go.

"D'you think it'll last?" Steve asked.

He was standing right behind her, and she wasn't stupid enough to think this would just be more small talk. Not after what they had just witnessed. Question was whether or not she was willing to stick around for whatever it was he wanted to say.

She turned to look at him. "I think it might."

"Yeah, I think so, too. Two-Bit went too far this time."

Painfully aware of how that one statement made her heart thud, Anna stared at him. He wasn't taking Kathy's side, but he knew his buddy was in the wrong. He stepped toward her.

"You wanna come in for a while?"

Her eyes widened, and she looked past him to the house. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

He sighed, looking away and saying nothing. She continued.

"In fact, I should probably go."

His gaze shot back up to meet hers. "Don't go."

Surprisingly enough, she stayed. Shuffling on her feet, she looked up at him, waiting. She didn't know why she was staying, or what would come of it, but she couldn't leave yet.

"You can't keep pretending nothing's changed," he said, voice soft.

"I'm not pretending anything."

"You're pretending you don't want me, you're pretending you don't need me, and you're pretending you don't want to be with me."

"You shouldn't be so damn sure of yourself. You ever think that maybe I ain't pretending?"

"You wouldn't've come to me after Danny got shot if you didn't want me."

She blushed. He had a point there, but she wouldn't admit it. She had wanted him - so damn much.

"I don't want to be with you."

"That's bullshit!" he said, ending their calm conversation. "You know we're meant to be together, Anna. You fucking know it."

"No, I don't. I don't know anything anymore!" She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "You've pushed your way back into my life, when all I wanted was to forget you."

"What about now? What d'you want now?"

"I don't know." She paused to stare at him, and the source of the whole problem spilled from her lips. "You … you slept with _Evie_! I know what you want from me, but how I'm I supposed to give it to you after you did that?"

"Christ, Anna. You fucking know how I feel about you, but you're willin' to throw it away because I made a mistake? One I can swear will never happen again!" Stepping closer, he slipped his hands around her waist. "You know how I feel about you, you know I make you happy, but you gotta give me something. _Anything_."

"Let me go."

"I _can't_." And there was such a raw honesty to his voice that she knew he was talking about more than just her body.

"Steve …"

"I want you, Anna, more than anything. I'll do anything to get you back, but if you really don't want me - if you really and truly want me to give up on you again, then I will. If it's what you really want."

A car pulled into the driveway before she could answer. He let her go, and they both watched his dad climb out. She didn't miss the way Steve tensed.

"You have to leave."

She glanced at his dad, frowning at the way he was glaring at Steve. "Why?"

"Please. Just go."

Looking back at him, she understood, and her heart jumped to her throat. She took a step back, but didn't leave - _couldn't_ leave. She knew what his dad was capable of, and she couldn't leave. She was ready to grab his hand, beg him to leave with her, but wasn't fast enough. His dad pushed his way between them, and grabbed Steve by the front of his jacket.

"When were you gonna tell me, huh? Didja think I wouldn't find out?"

Steve struggled. "I don't know what you're fuckin' talkin' about."

"Liar! You fucking piece of shit." His dad swung his arm back, barely missing Anna, but hitting Steve squarely on the jaw. "You think I wouldn't find out? It's my fucking kid!"

"Stop!" she cried.

He didn't stop. He shook Steve hard enough to rattle his teeth, before punching him in the mouth, making him bleed. Not knowing what else to do, Anna grabbed his arm as he pulled back again.

"No! Leave him alone!"

Her tugging was useless. John barely glanced at her as he shoved her away, pushing her to the ground before punching Steve in the stomach. She landed on her behind with a heavy thud, looking up in time to see Steve, doubled over in pain, charge at his dad.

"Don't fucking touch her," he growled.

It was pointless, she could tell right away. Even as Steve tried to hit and punch his dad, John was getting in harder hits and heavier punches. She climbed back to her feet as Steve landed on his knees, and ran to the edge of the property.

"Two-Bit? _Two-Bit_!"

She looked wildly up and down the street, but he was gone; probably had been for a good while. Fighting back the sob making its way up her throat, she forced herself to look back at Steve. She was just in time see his dad throw a few kicks to his ribs, before heading inside.

"Oh, God," she whimpered, running back to him.

She dropped to her knees next to him. Steve was bloody and dirty and not moving. She felt sick as she looked at him, and it sure as hell wasn't because of the blood on his face and neck. Pushing his hair back from his forehead, she leaned close.

"Steve? Steve, please -" She broke off in a sob when he opened his eyes.

"I told you to leave."

"I couldn't. I just couldn't."

Pushing himself up, he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Go, Anna. Just fuck off."

She froze at his words, and it took her a moment to realise his anger had nothing to do with wanting her gone. He was embarrassed. Lip trembling, she scooted closer.

"I ain't leavin'."

He still wouldn't look at her, but didn't push her away when she placed a cool hand on the back of his neck.

"Where're your keys?" she asked, not sure why she was whispering.

"Why?"

"'Cause I gotta get you to Soda's, and I can't exactly carry you. I gotta drive you."

He scoffed, but it turned into the kind of cough that made her cringe. "Not gonna happen."

"Steve, please." She placed a hand on his torso, worried. Her worries were confirmed when he hissed in a breath. "This ain't the time to go getting protective of that damn car. Just give me your keys."

He finally looked at her, and the look in his eyes broke her heart. She hated his dad more than she'd ever hated anyone in her life.

"They're in my pocket," he said. She reached into his jacket pocket, but he smirked. "Na, jeans pocket. The front one."

She rolled her eyes, too happy to see him smirk to worry about his dirty mind. Grabbing the keys - and ignoring the way he was watching her - she helped him to his feet.

"C'mon. Let's get you outta here."

XXXXX

"Wait here. I'll go get Soda and Darry to help you out."

Even in the state he was in, Steve glared. "I don't need no goddamn help."

Anna ignored him, and climbed out of the car. He didn't need any help, and she was being silly. Caring, which was nice, but silly. He could get out of the car and inside the house perfectly fine on his own. A few punches was nothing. At least that was what he thought until Darry and Soda turned up and he had only just opened the car door.

"Hey, buddy," Soda said, and his voice was just like it had been after they found Johnny that time.

"I'm fine," he muttered.

"You're hardly fine," Darry said. "I ain't seen you this hurt in a long time. Not even after the River Kings got ya."

Accepting the help - but only because he didn't have a choice - Steve found himself sitting on the Curtis couch a few minutes later. Anna was next to him - watching him far too closely - and Pony and Darry were standing over him, asking questions.

"Who the hell did this to you?"

"No one."

Anna tensed next to him, but he kept her quiet with a sharp a look.

"Was it the River Kings again?" Ponyboy asked.

"It was no one."

Soda came back in then, carrying a bowl of water and a washcloth. "It was your old man, wasn't it?"

Steve said nothing, but he didn't have to. If it had been the River Kings, or any other guy, he would tell them. But his old man beating the shit out of him wasn't something everyone needed to know.

"It was," Anna said. Ignoring his scowl, she continued. "They need to know. You can't go back there for at least a few days. You wouldn't go back there ever if I had my way."

He couldn't be angry at her when she said things like that. She wouldn't meet his gaze as he stared at her, but she inched that little bit closer.

Soda wrung out the cloth, and leaned forward.

"Give me that," Anna snapped. She snatched the cloth out of Soda's hands, and climbed to her knees.

Next thing Steve knew, one soft hand was holding his face while the other cleaned the blood off of him. He watched her, reminded of the night he'd had to clean her face the same way, but she still wouldn't look him in the eyes. That was okay. She was there; that's what mattered.

"I'm gonna get you some painkillers," Soda said, grinning like a fool.

Darry and Ponyboy both left, too, and Steve couldn't help himself. Lifting one hand, he tucked a strand of hair behind Anna's ear. She paused, letting out a low breath before looking at him.

"Don't go doin' that."

"Why not?"

She washed the cloth out, before bringing it up to his neck. "'Cause I'm tryin' to clean you up."

That was a terrible excuse, but he let it slide. Soda came back, handing him a glass of water and a couple of pills. Once he'd swallowed the pills back, Soda started in on him.

"What happened?"

Anna tensed again, but Steve shrugged.

"I dunno. But if I had to guess, I'd say he found out about Millie."

"Aw, shit, Stevie." Soda leaned forward again. "Look, I didn't even need to talk to him about it, but Darry said you can stay as long as you need to -"

"I don't need to."

"- and then he said he ain't takin' no for an answer."

Anna set the cloth back in the bowl. "How're your ribs?"

"Fine." They hurt like a bitch.

"Are they broken?"

"Cracked, maybe."

She said nothing else, but glanced around the living room. "I have to go."

He wanted to tell her not to leave, but couldn't bring himself to do it this time. Instead, he slid his fingers onto her thigh, spreading them over the material of her skirt, and stared at her.

"I have to," she said. "My dad's got this girlfriend, and he wants us to meet her tonight. I promised I'd be home for dinner."

Steve nodded. "It's cool."

"I'll come see you again soon, okay?"

"Sure."

"I mean it," she said, lowering her voice. "You know where to find me if you need me, but I'll be back once I've … thought about things."

"Okay."

She stared at him, and he stared right back. Darry was in the kitchen, Pony was in his room, and Soda was getting up to leave right then. It was just the two of them, and he felt like he should say something - _anything_ - to make her stay.

But then she leaned forward, one soft hand on either side of his face, and gave him a soft, lingering kiss. It wasn't enough, but it was everything. Pulling back slightly, she looked into his eyes.

"Don't give up, okay?"

He smirked, though he felt like dancing. Lifting his hand again, he pushed her hair behind her ear again. "Was never planning on it."

She roll her eyes at him, squeezed his hand, and climbed to her feet. "I'll see you soon."

He watched her leave, and Soda came back.

"Well, looks like you got your girl back," he said.

Steve sighed, lips tingling, but refusing to get his hopes up. "I sure hope so."

_And if there was a way to navigate your seas,  
__If tonight my true love dared belong to me._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Posted for Good Fic Day.

As I said last time, this is my favourite chapter. Not sure why, but I really like it. Hope you guys do, too.

I also want to take a moment to once again pimp out _K. Nefertiti's _fic. I've read it all - it's amazing. You can find the link in my profile.


	20. Found a Way Eventually

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Sway" by The Perishers.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY  
****Sunday, February 19****th****, 1967**

_I look at you and see a friend,  
__I hope that's what you wanna be.  
__Are we back now where it all began?  
__Have you finally forgiven me?_

Unlike some people she knew, Anna knew how to apologise. She didn't feel good about having to do so, but she'd do it anyway. Partly because it was deserved, partly because the guilt was eating her alive, and partly because she felt stuck. Stuck in that place where she'd hurt Henry and was a horrible person who didn't deserve to be happy.

Raising a hand, she knocked on his door. Glory she hoped his mother wasn't home. Mrs. Phillips sure was nice, and she'd been so good at the hospital, but things had changed since then. Anna would hate to have the woman know how badly she'd treated her son.

The front door opened, and Henry was there, and she almost wished it _was_ his mom.

"Whaddya doin' here?" Henry asked.

Swallowing through the dryness in her mouth, Anna shrugged. "I was hoping we could talk."

"About?"

"Well, I s'pose I wanted to apologise."

"Couple of weeks late, don't ya think?"

"Yeah."

They were silent for a moment, and she found it hard to look at him. He was still gorgeous, but he was still looking at her that same way he had for months. Only this time with a little bitterness.

"Come on in." He opened the door for her, and she stepped inside.

Henry had been a good boyfriend. He had treated her so damn well, and never once hurt her. But he wasn't Steve. That had always been the problem, but until the night Danny got shot, it had been a problem she thought she could work through. One that, if it didn't go away, she thought she could at least ignore.

She stood in his living room and looked at him, half-wishing she _had_ been able to work through it. She still liked him, still cared about him, and a part of her even missed him. But she didn't like him, care about him, or miss him as much as she did Steve. That was all it came down to.

"I'm awful sorry," she said. "I'm sure it means nothin' to you now, but I am sorry. I never meant to use you like I did."

"You sure about that?" he asked. "We both know you started dating me to get over him. And I think we both know it was never workin'."

"It wasn't like that. I mean, it was, but … as much as I wasn't getting over Steve, I _was_ fallin' for you." After the way she had treated him, he only deserved complete honesty from her. No matter how hard it was to say.

"Until Randle decided he wanted you back."

"No. He decided that a long time ago, but going back to him was never an option then." She fidgeted where she stood. "But then - then Danny got hurt, and the only person I wanted was Steve."

"So that's when it happened?" he asked, sounding doubtful.

"I don't know. I knew I wasn't over him before then, and maybe a part of me wanted him, but I wanted _you_."

"And him."

She couldn't even deny it. She had wanted Steve the night Rex Hamilton had hassled her and Anita.

"But I wasn't planning on going back to him; I was planning on being with you," she said, unsure if she was trying to make herself sound like less of a bitch, or trying and make Henry realise their entire relationship _hadn't_ been a lie. "Remember the day of the rumble? We spent the afternoon making out in your car. I wanted you."

"You dumped me that night."

Henry had always been open about his feelings for her. Not in a sappy way, but in a way that made sure she knew how much he liked her. Right then, all she knew was how badly she'd messed up. He was tough - had to be to be in Tim's gang - but she knew she'd hurt him.

"You let him kiss you at Buck's."

Her heart clenched; he wouldn't bring that up if it didn't still bother him. "I'm sorry."

"You went to him the night we broke up."

It wasn't a question, but Anna knew that Henry didn't know for sure. She wasn't going to answer, either. She supposed it was a politer way of asking about her sex life than Steve ever had, but it still wasn't any of his business.

Sighing, Henry sat on the couch and gestured for her to sit with him.

"I guess you're back with him?"

"No."

"Why not? Ain't that why you're here? To clear your conscience before movin' on?"

It hurt that he thought so little of her, but she could hardly blame him … the guilt _had_ been killing her. She let it go.

"I'm here because you've been avoiding me and I've been letting you. I've wanted to apologise for a while now."

"Why ain't you with him?"

She shrugged. "It's complicated."

"You must know it's a bad idea."

"What is?"

Henry looked at her like she was an idiot. "Being with him. After the way he treated you last time, you've gotta be stupid to get back together with him."

She wasn't the smartest girl around, but she didn't appreciate the insult. "You don't know anything."

"I know he'll just fuck up again."

Steve had already sworn he'd never make that particular mistake again, and, God help her, she believed him. He'd learned from his mistakes.

"I came here to apologise," she said, standing. "I don't wanna argue with you, Henry."

Henry wouldn't look at her as he spoke. "And I don't wanna hear about it when he breaks your heart again."

XXXXX

Ignoring the look Kathy was giving her, Anna iced the cupcake in her hand. "Can you _believe_ my dad is dating Anita's aunt? I mean, it's kinda cute, I guess. But it's weird, you know?"

"Anna -"

"I think they really like each other. Did I tell you he didn't come home the other night? And I know for fact it wasn't a night he had work. He _must_ have stayed at her house."

"Anna -"

She moved on to the next cupcake. "At least I don't have to see it. It's not like Danny and Mary-Louise. God, those two can't keep their hands off each other, even when I'm right in front of them. Sure, Mary-Louise is pretty, but c'mon, it's Danny. My _brother_. I don't wanna see that."

Kathy stood. "If you don't shut up about everything else, and start talking about Steve right now, then I'm gonna leave."

Placing the cupcake and spatula on the plate in front of her, Anna looked at Kathy. "What do you want me to say?"

"I wanna know what you're gonna do."

Shrugging, she went straight back to icing the cupcake. "Ain't nothin' I can do."

Kathy was silent. After a moment, she moved and sat at the counter. "Actually, you have two options."

"Oh really?"

She almost wished she continued ignoring Kathy, and that her best friend had left. This wasn't a discussion she wanted to have. She'd avoided the topic, the subject of the topic, and any decision making thoughts on the matter for days. She wasn't sure she could put any of it off any longer.

Especially the decision making part. Steve was always on her mind, but it was nothing knew. It was still Steve - who'd slept with Evie, dated Evie, betrayed Anna far too much. But then it was _Steve_ - who'd gone to Grandpa Joe's funeral, who'd stayed with her at the hospital, and who really had done everything he could to get her back. To make up for what he'd done.

The good and the bad mixed into a jumbled mess, and she couldn't fight her way through it. Coming up with a conclusion was hard. She knew what she wanted - and couldn't even deny it anymore - but she wasn't sure she could do it.

The cupcake and spatula were taken out of her hands, and Kathy placed them on the plate. Looking at her, Anna knew she wasn't going to get out of this conversation.

"Two options," Kathy said. "Wanna hear them?"

She figured it couldn't hurt. "Sure."

"Option number one: forgive Steve. Take him back and just be with him."

Feeling sick at the thought, Anna asked, "Option two?"

"Get him out of your life."

"_What_?"

Kathy shrugged. "If you can't forgive him then why should he still be in your life? He _cheated_ on you, and if you can't move on from that then you need to move on from him."

Anna said nothing. Option one made her feel ill with anxiety and fear, but option two made it hard to breathe. Option two gave her a crushing feeling in her chest that she desperately wanted to go away.

"I … that's it? Those are my options?"

"Can you think of any others?"

"You never know; I might get over him."

Kathy smirked. "If six months and a new boyfriend ain't gonna do it, then I don't know what will."

Anna frowned; Kathy had a point.

"I suppose you could go on the way you have been," Kathy continued. "But who does that please?"

She sighed. "No one."

"Exactly. Forgive Steve or get him out of your life, Anna. It's taken me this long to realise I needed to do one or the other with Two-Bit; I don't wanna see you go through this for as long as I did."

"But you and Two-Bit broke up for good." Suddenly she was feeling sick, the crushing feeling in her chest, and having trouble breathing all at once. "Is that what you think I should do with Steve?"

"No." Kathy picked up the spatula and an un-iced cupcake. "I just think you need to decide which option would make you happier."

Despite her reluctance to even have this conversation, Anna couldn't help but contribute. "And how do I do that?" It was a stupid question. One she was sure she already knew the answer to.

"Which one hurts less?"

Well, that was obvious. The look on Kathy's face made her sad, though. She knew how much Kathy was hurting from her break-up with Two-Bit, and realised how hurt Kathy must have been for her to choose option two.

She pushed those worries away for the time being. Kathy didn't want to talk about that any more than Anna wanted to talk about what had happened with Henry that morning. Picking up a spoon, she dug at the hardening icing in the bowl, not looking at Kathy.

"He slept with Evie."

Kathy paused. "I know."

"And then - then he got back together with her."

"Yeah."

She looked up. "How am I supposed to forgive that?"

"If you love him and want to be with him, then you need stop using that as a reason not to be with him, and forgive him." She paused. "If you haven't already."

"You think I have?"

"Don't you?"

XXXXX

Completely unsure about what he was doing, Steve stood on the front porch, frowning. One hand was still on the closed door handle of the house, the other was fingering the keys he was holding. He stared at his car, telling himself to walk toward it and get in, but his feet wouldn't move.

The hospital had called; Millie was having her baby.

That was a big fucking deal. He'd made peace with the fact that he was going to be a brother, but now that it was actually happening … He felt a little sick at what it all meant. He was going to be a brother. A fucking brother.

He _would_ go to the hospital. Once he let it sink in, he would go. Partly because Millie had had a nurse call and ask him to, partly because Anna and Soda's words might have sunk in and made him want to go, and partly - and selfishly - because he knew going would impress Anna.

Not that he should care. She'd been avoiding him all week. Apparently _don't give up_ actually meant she didn't care what he did so long as she could avoid him every possible chance. Not that he'd made it hard. She said she wanted a few days; he was willing to give her a few days.

It was nearly a week, and he was sick of waiting. It had been a shitty week what with his dad being an asshole, going to visit his mom's grave, and not knowing where he stood with Anna. He just wanted her. And there she was …

She looked nervous as she crossed the front lawn, and he watched her silently. He was pretty sure nervous was a good thing for him, but with Millie at the hospital having her baby, he didn't know if he had time for it.

"You goin' out?" she asked.

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Uh, the hospital called; Millie's havin' the kid."

Anna beamed. "Really? That's amazing."

"Yeah. She wanted me to go up. Wants me to be around when it happens or somethin'."

"What about your dad?"

"I dunno. He's been real quiet about it all, but I don't care what he thinks."

She stared at him for a few moments and, for the first time he could remember, he couldn't hold her gaze. Finally, she walked up the porch steps and stood in front of him.

"You want me to come with you?"

He glared at her. "I don't need you to hold my hand, Anna."

"I know that, but do you _want_ me to come with you?"

So fucking much.

"Yeah."

"Okay." She nodded, taking a deep breath. Tentatively, she reached out her hand and tugged his off the door handle he was still holding. Despite his words, he held tight to her soft hand. "Let's go."

The warmth eased his tension, the feel of her skin had his heart thudding, and the gesture itself had his hopes flying.

The drive to the hospital was silent, but comfortable enough. Anna had let go of his hand, but she was sitting much closer than she had the last few times she'd been in his car. He couldn't complain at that. He found he couldn't complain at much. She'd come to him, just like she'd promised.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, he climbed out and waited for Anna to do the same. She lagged a few feet behind as they made their way to the entrance, and he stopped next to the doors. She was pale and looked more terrified at what might happen inside than he felt.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'."

He took what he thought was a pretty good stab in the dark. "Danny ain't here."

She looked at him in surprise. "I know, but …"

"It ain't like last time. This time we know nothing bad is gonna happen."

Stepping closer to him, she let out a soft breath. "Yeah, you're right."

She was right in front of him, and he took all the liberties he was willing to take with Millie somewhere in the hospital having a baby. Placing his hand on her lower back, he led them inside.

XXXXX

This waiting room was much more cheerful than the last. Steve didn't know if it was the painted rainbows on the walls or if it was because Anna was fidgeting in excitement rather than pacing with defeat. He watched her cross her legs again, his eyes seeking out and missing a glimpse of the lace at the top of her thigh-highs.

"Boy or girl?"

He tore his gaze from the hem of her skirt. "Huh?"

A hint of pink spread across her cheeks and she grinned at him. "Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"Oh. I dunno."

"I think it's a boy."

"Really?"

She crossed her legs again. "Yeah. I dunno why."

"Huh."

They were silent, and with every shift in position Anna made, her skirt crept that little bit further up her thigh. Steve was sick of it. If he knew what was going to happen then maybe he could touch …

"What are we doin', Anna?"

She smirked. "Right now? Waitin' for a baby to be born."

Glory she could be frustrating. He liked that that hadn't changed, but shit. He just wanted some damn answers. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah." She fidgeted again, and this time a hint of black lace became visible. Steve swallowed hard. "I hated seeing you so hurt the other day. And I just … I _hated_ your dad, Steve. I really hated him."

That wasn't what he'd expected her to say, but he knew Anna; she wouldn't talk about something like that unless it was important. And shit, he could hear the loathing in her voice.

"I had to watch him hurt you like that and there wasn't anything I could do," she said. "And all I wanted to do after that was spend the rest of the night with you. Just … _be_ with you."

"Then why have you avoided me all week?"

"Well, because of the things we said to each other before your dad got there. I needed to work through some of them."

"We said a lot of things to each other, Anna," he said, hoping she'd clarify.

She was silent for a moment, before answering quietly. "Evie."

He winced at the name. Of course that was the problem. All the good he'd done the last two months didn't make up for what he'd done with Evie.

"I'm sorry," he said, and the words slipped out easier than ever before.

"Yeah, I know. And it's okay. I mean, it's not _okay_, but … you know."

"You mean … you forgive me?"

"I think I forgave you a long time ago. It still hurts, and I might still be a little bitter about it, but … I've been thinkin' about it all day, and I wonder if I've been using it as an excuse to say no to you." She tucked her hands between her legs and the seat as she said it, and wouldn't look at him. He stared at her, hard. "It ain't fair, but when I realised my feelings for you weren't gonna leave, I think I started holdin' it against you whenever you got too close, because taking you back scared the crap out of me."

It did sound as though she'd given it a lot of thought, but her words didn't come as a total shock. It sucked, but he understood. Plus, when it came to anything he'd done with Evie, he could understand Anna holding it against him for the rest of his life.

She finally turned to look at him. "I never would've slept with you the night Danny was shot if I hadn't forgiven you."

With that much lace showing and a nice view down her blouse, Steve almost wished she hadn't brought up the idea of sleeping together during such a serious conversation. Almost.

He stood. Sitting that close to her while so desperate to touch her wasn't a good idea. Not only that, but he was pretty sure her forgiving him didn't mean as much as he hoped. She was still hurt, a little pissed off, and she hadn't said a damn thing about still wanting to be with him _after_ working through their conversation at his house.

"I meant what I said," he told her, rubbing his knuckles against his jeans. "I ain't ever gonna screw up like that again."

She nodded, and he knew she believed him. "Did you also mean it when you said you'd do anything to get me back?"

"Yes."

"Because it's gonna take more than tricking me into kissing you, staying at the hospital with me, and bugging me for months to get me back, Steve."

"I'll do anything."

Sliding her hands over her skirt, she looked up at him. "You have to tell me how you feel."

"How I feel?"

"Yeah. About me."

Oh. _Oh_. His eyes narrowed and he scowled at her, but she didn't back down. He supposed he could hardly blame her - for both not backing down or for wanting to know. Admittedly he'd been hoping his actions over the last few months would be enough, but if she needed more …

He sighed, sitting down next to her. "C'mon, Anna, you know …" He paused, elbows resting on his knees, and heart pounding so fucking loudly. He turned his head to look into her eyes, and spoke quietly. "You know I love you."

Anna's eyes widened and maybe she hadn't known that at all. She opened her mouth to reply, but a far too happy nurse came up to them before she could get a word out.

"Steve?"

Dragging his gaze away form Anna, he glared at the nurse. "What?"

"The baby's here."

"Oh my God." Anna jumped to her feet, grabbing his hand to yank him up with her. "Can we see them?"

Still smiling, the nurse led them out of the waiting room. With Anna still tightly gripping his hand, Steve felt both excited and pissed off. _The baby's here_ were not the three words he'd been hoping to hear after telling Anna how he felt.

But then they were shoved into bright room, and he saw Millie holding a bundle of … baby. He and Anna both stopped in their tracks. They stared at Millie for a moment before she seemed to realise they were there.

"Come look," she said, staring right at him.

He didn't move until Anna shoved him. Throwing her a scowl over his shoulder, he walked up to the bed. Millie looked exhausted, but happier than he'd ever seen her. The baby in her arms looked really pink … and soft.

"So cute," Anna breathed from next to him.

He supposed it was kind of cute. The fingers were definitely cute, and the nose.

"Wanna hold him?" Millie asked.

Anna practically bounced out of her skin. "Him? I _knew_ it would be a boy."

"His name is Bradley."

Steve felt strangely disappointed that it was a boy, but didn't let it show. Instead, he stared at the kid, wondering if he looked anything like that as a baby. Millie didn't seem to realise he hadn't answered her; she was too busy staring down at the baby in wonder, and when he glanced back at Anna, he found her doing the same. He couldn't really blame them; even he had to admit the kid was kind of cute.

"Maybe we should go," Anna said after a few minutes. "You look awful tired."

Millie smiled. "I am, but I'm sure I ain't gonna be able to sleep." She stared at Steve for a moment. "Thanks for coming, kiddo."

"Sure."

"You act like you don't know a thing if your dad says somethin', you hear? I don't want him on your case again." She paused, smiling down at the baby. "I'll call you when we get home and you can come visit, okay? Both of you."

"Okay," he said, Anna nodding eagerly beside him.

They left, heading toward the elevators, but this time Anna didn't hold his hand. Refusing to look at her, Steve thought about everything that had happened; Anna mentioning Evie, Anna forgiving him, Anna making him tell her how he felt. And then the kid. His brother. Bradley. It was a cool enough name, and those fingers had been so damn small.

Leaving through the front doors, Steve grabbed his keys out of his pocket and opened the car door for Anna. She started in on him as soon as he was in his seat.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'."

"You don't seem very happy about your new brother." Was she a mind reader now?

"Well, I guess I was hoping it'd be a girl." Something he hadn't truly realised until finding out it was a boy.

Anna gave him one of those grins where it was like she knew something he didn't. "How come?"

He'd already told her he loved her; there wasn't anything else he could say to make him sound like much more of a pussy.

"I saw how much you care about Danny that night at the hospital. Having that, no matter what … it seemed okay."

She was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I think you'll have that anyway," she finally said. "The reason Ponyboy tries to tag along with you and Soda isn't to piss you off, you know?"

She was right, and he didn't know how he'd missed that.

"For the record," she continued, staring out the passenger window, "I never slept with Henry."

Steve smirked, but relief was flowing through him. "That right?"

"Don't go getting all cocky," she said, turning to look at him.

"Why not? I'm sure I had somethin' to do with it."

She climbed to her knees on the bench seat. "You know what you said before? In the waiting room?"

His heart thudded but he said nothing, just stared into her green eyes.

"Say it again."

"Anna -"

"Please?"

He looked down, and his gaze immediately landed on that lace. Thigh-highs would kill him, he was sure of it. And the idea of touching Anna's was so fucking appealing. Appealing enough to once again put himself out there. He smirked, lifting one hand to run his finger over the hem where lace met nylon. He met her gaze.

"Stop that," she whispered.

"I love you," he said. "Never stopped."

She smiled. "I love you, too."

His heart thudded and kissing her seemed like the best idea. Her lips were soft and pliant against his own, and Christ she tasted so damn good. She pulled away far too soon.

"It's gonna take a long while for things to get back to how they used to be," she said. "I want to be with you, but I don't want to just jump back into anything."

"We'll do whatever you want. So long as you're mine again."

"I think we should just hang out, you know? Date and spend time together and take things … slow."

"Does that mean starting back at first base?"

She smirked. "Yes."

"Spend time together, huh?" He tried the words out, not hating how they sounded. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was damn close. And he knew it would only get better from there. He could do that, even if it meant starting at first base.

He leaned into kiss her again, but she pulled back.

"Hey, this isn't where we kiss. This is where you beg me to go out with you tonight."

"Tell me you're mine," he pleaded, voice soft.

She sighed, pressing her forehead against his. "I'm yours."

_I don't wanna hurt you,  
__I don't wanna make you sway.  
__Like I know I've done before,  
__I will not do it anymore._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Thoughts on Steve and Anna's little reunion would make my day. Deds to anyone who picks up on the Born to Run - fic, not song - reference ;)


	21. We Are Young

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE  
****Monday, March 13th****, 1967**

_We are strong,  
__No one can tell us we're wrong._

Henry Phillips had been glaring at him for weeks. Steve knew it wasn't constant, but it sure felt it; in auto shop, in the parking lot, at the Dingo, at Buck's, in the hallways at school. The guy hated his guts and didn't have a problem with showing it. In fact, Steve was just waiting for the day he found his car scratched to shit in retaliation for having taken Phillips' hubs months ago.

Or, of course, for getting Anna back.

Steve smirked. Phillips was across the Dingo parking lot with a couple of other guys from Shepard's gang, and Steve had been ignoring the glaring for the last half hour. Now that he thought about it, scratching his car was probably a bit tame. Phillips might be a nice guy in general, but he was still a part of Tim's gang; he was tough and cool and, if the hate radiating from him was anything to go by, about ready to kick Steve's head in.

He knew Phillips was a good fighter, but still looked forward to the fight. He'd been aching to rip into the guy for months now, and all he'd managed was to take those damn hubs. He hadn't even bothered to fight back the night Phillips winded him at Buck's, knowing it would just piss Anna off even more.

Pissing Anna off wasn't a problem anymore. She might get a little annoyed with him, but he knew damn well she'd be more worried about his injuries than his fighting her ex-boyfriend. He didn't need her to worry, but it was nice that she did. Even nicer when it meant she didn't hold a grudge at him for fighting her ex-boyfriend.

"Phillips looks ready to jump you, Stevie," Soda said.

"I was just thinkin' the same thing." Rubbing his knuckles on his jeans, he looked at Soda. "You think I should start somethin'?"

"Nah, let him do it. Anna ain't gonna be pleased about it either way; at least if he starts it then she can't blame you."

Steve smirked again, liking how he and Soda were on the same page. Anna might be his again, but with their 'taking things slow' plan, the last thing he needed was to piss her off. She wouldn't be happy about him fighting with Phillips, but so long as he didn't start it, she wouldn't complain. Much.

Leaning back against the car, Steve sighed. She was his again. Finally. Things were going slow, but they were going and that was what mattered. They dated, they hung out - not as much as they used to, but that was okay - and they made out. A lot. He smirked. Even if Anna wasn't willing to put out, he couldn't complain about a damn thing. Kissing her sent him damn near crazy, and he'd spend all night doing it if she'd let him. Which she never did.

He didn't know her exact reason, but she hadn't stayed with him once since getting back together … or starting to spend time together, or doing whatever it was they were doing. He wasn't about to push it - not now that he finally had her back - but he did think it was an unfortunate waste of time they could spend alone, what with her brother getting locked up the same day they sorted their shit out.

"Hey, man," Two-Bit said loudly, joining Steve and Soda by the car, "you seeing Anna tonight?"

Steve nodded, gaze set on Phillips' glare. He didn't have to say anything, just the mention of Anna, and Steve's confirmation was obviously enough for Phillips. He slipped off of the car hood he was sitting on, and headed straight for Steve. Clenching his fists, Steve stood straight.

"I should've kicked your ass weeks ago," Phillips spat, still glaring.

"Right. I'm sure that would've gone over real well with your girlfriend at the time. Jumping the guy she really wanted … yeah, good thinking."

"She'll come to her senses. She might not come back to me, but she'll realise what a fuck-up you are and leave you."

Steve wished he could deny being a fuck-up, but after the shit he'd put Anna through, it was too true. "Maybe," he said. "But she won't leave."

"Danny'll make her," Phillips said, eyes narrowing. "Can you imagine how pissed he's gonna be to find out she's back with _you_?"

He could imagine it far too well, but he smirked anyway. "She won't leave me. For some reason, that girl loves me."

It was the mention of love that really seemed to set Phillips off. He lunged at Steve, grabbing his T-Shirt in his fists and shoving him back against the car behind him. The trunk pushed uncomfortably into his back, but Steve wasn't going to give up without a fight. He'd been waiting to really have it out with Phillips for months.

He threw a punch at the other boy's face, feeling the satisfying smack of skin on skin as his fist connected with Phillips' jaw. The bones in his hand hurt like a bitch, but hitting him like that sure felt good. So good, he wanted to do it again. Raising his fist, he doubled over as Phillips got him in the stomach again.

"Son of a bitch," he said, gasping for breath.

"You're a fuckin' asshole," Phillips said, still holding onto his T-Shirt with one hand. Steve vaguely wondered if Anna had ever seen this side of him. "Don't ya know it's rude to go after another guy's girl?"

"Fuck you," Steve said, and charged at him.

They fell to the ground, and Steve was happy with the two punches he got into Phillips' face before he was thrown to his back. They rolled, both getting in punches and the occasional kick. It wasn't until Phillips got in an awfully good punch to Steve's left temple that he began to fade. His vision blurred, and he rolled off of the other guy. Not willing to give up that easy, he grabbed a hold of the only thing he could see, and pulled Phillips' fingers back as far as they'd go.

There was ringing in his ears, blood in his mouth, and it took him a moment to realise that Soda and Two-Bit were pulling him up. He blinked, trying to focus on Phillips'. He was being led away by Jack Hennings and Terry Armstrong.

"What the fuck?" Steve muttered.

"Cops are on their way, man," Soda said. "Ain't no need for you to be getting hauled in again."

Even though it hurt like hell, Steve nodded. Soda was right; cops turning up was one damn good reason to give up the fight without a winner. Making his way to Two-Bit's car, he spat blood from his mouth and wondered what Anna would make of his injuries. Phillips' had got him a whole lot better than he'd expected.

He turned around to see how Phillips' was fairing, but cursed quietly. Pulled into the parking space next to Phillips', Tim Shepard had just arrived, and climbing out of the passenger seat was Danny Harris.

XXXXX

Anna hated it when Danny got locked up. Other than the worry of him getting really hurt, it was her biggest concern about him being in Tim's gang. She was always wondering if he was about to get himself sent away for longer than the few weeks he usually got. It was only a matter of time, she was sure of it. She didn't know what kind of business he and Tim got up to, but was damn sure they'd both end up in jail for it if they weren't careful.

She sure hoped she was wrong, but every time Danny got locked up, a part of her expected Tim or George or whoever it was who told her about it, to tell her it was for good this time. A few weeks she could handle, though quite unhappily, but a few years was another story. A few years was too much.

But, this last time almost came as a relief. She didn't consider it good luck to have her brother locked up, but last time was an exception. Last time happened to be the same night she and Steve got back together. She had been hoping for a couple of days, maybe a week, and couldn't help the guilty relief that had coursed through her after finding out it would be a few weeks.

A few weeks gave her time to figure out what to say, how to say it, and whether she should say it at all. A part of her truly thought that ignorance might be her best bet.

Until now.

Locking up the door to the bakery, she tried for a grin as she turned toward her brother.

"I didn't realise you were out already!"

He scowled. "Don't pull that bullshit with me, Anna. Get in the damn car."

She did as he told her to, muttering the whole way. "You could at least pretend to be happy to see me."

Danny waited until he was in the driver's seat before replying. "I'd be a whole lot happier if what I heard today wasn't true."

Anna said nothing, knowing he was waiting for her to elaborate. Screw it. She was going to play innocent for as long as she could. It sure beat the alternative.

"Actually, fuck what I heard. You wanna know what I saw?"

She flinched, pretty sure saying no wasn't an option. "Sure."

"I saw your ex-boyfriends trying to kill each other at the Dingo," Danny said. "Fuckers were goin' at it good and proper."

Still silent, Anna tapped her fingers on her skirt. She knew who he was talking about - Ricky was history, and that only really left Steve and Henry - but she was just a little confused about his anger. It sounded as though it might be directed at Henry and Steve, but she knew it should be at her. She also knew it would be before they got home.

"Who won?" she asked.

Danny scowled at her. "What do you care?"

"I'm pretty sure you already know why I care."

"You're fucking right I do! Shit, Anna. I don't wanna be one of those brothers who has to threaten every guy you date, but when you pull shit like getting back with Steve fucking Randle, what the fuck else am I s'posed to do?"

"Nothin'."

"Nothin'? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Anna wasn't sure she could remember the last time she'd heard Danny swear so much. It would be funny if he weren't so angry at her. Sighing, she watched as he pulled into the driveway at home.

"You don't have to do anything," she said, hand on the door handle. "In fact, I'd really prefer it if you didn't."

Danny climbed out, slamming the door behind him. Anna followed suit, not willing to back down.

"He's just going to screw you over again."

She was pretty sick of hearing that. She could understand why everyone was worried, but they didn't all have to butt in. Her dad had made some comment after finding out she was back with Steve, Henry had said almost the same thing Danny had even before she was back with Steve, and even Anita had asked her if she was sure she was doing the right thing.

Yes, Steve had screwed up, and yes these people were just worried about her, but she could look after herself. The only time she had needed Danny last time she was with Steve was when he had cheated, and he had assured her that wouldn't happen again.

Instead of snapping like she wanted to, Anna tried to stay calm. "You don't know him like I do."

"Thank fuck for that."

"And I don't care what you say; you can't convince me to break up with him."

"Fine," Danny snapped. "Don't bother coming to me when he _does_ hurt you again, because I ain't gonna sit around and pick up the fucking pieces."

As much as she believed Steve wouldn't hurt her, she couldn't deny that Danny's words did.

"Whatever. How about I don't come to you, and you save me the goddamn lecture." Not bothering to wait for a reply, she headed inside.

Her dad and Anita's aunt were sitting at the kitchen table, eating lasagne and drinking wine.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"'Course not," her dad said. "You want some food?"

Even as her stomach grumbled she shook her head. Her dad might say she wasn't interrupting, and being around the two of them together was almost nice, but she didn't want to be their third wheel. She liked Meredith, and she liked her dad when he was with Meredith. She wanted them to have some time alone.

"I'm just here to change my clothes, then I'm going to Steve's," she said, wondering why she hadn't gone straight to Steve's in the first place.

Still angry at Danny and liking the way Steve's eyes darkened when she wore a particularly short skirt, she changed into something Danny would be furious at and Steve would be desperate for. Smirking, she touched up her makeup and left her bedroom.

"Where're you goin'?" Danny asked, the moment she closed the door behind her.

"Where do you think?"

"Dressed like that?"

Anna grinned. He was too easy.

"Just be glad it's still cold out," she said, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater.

Danny said nothing and she started to walk away. She was stopped by his next words.

"I'll save you the lecture," he said, sounding miserable. "And you can come to me anyway."

Turning to look at him, Anna gave him a small smile. "Thanks. But I won't need to."

XXXXX

Leading Anna to his bedroom, Steve waited for her to bring the fight up. She knew, of course. He wasn't stupid enough to think her words 'I had a fight with Danny' meant she'd had a fight with Danny that wasn't about him and his fight with Phillips. He could only be glad she'd come to him after her fight with her brother. That had to mean Phillips was wrong and Steve was right.

"Did you win?" she asked as he closed the door behind her.

"Nah, the guys had to pull us apart before anyone could win. Before the cops got there."

Not saying anything, she stepped closer and took his chin in her fingers. She stared at him, tilting his head so she could see the bruise forming around his eye.

"Does it hurt?"

_Yes_. "Nope."

"Did you ice it?"

He smirked. "Nah."

"You should, you know?"

"I know. You've told me so plenty of times."

Anna let him go and sat on the bed. "But you never seem to listen."

"I would've iced it if you'd been here to make me," he said, sitting next to her.

She smirked. "I think that's because you like havin' me look after you."

"Yeah? Well I think you're crazy."

"Wanna tell me what happened with Henry?" she asked, changing the subject.

Steve scowled. "No."

"Will you do it anyway?"

Only because he couldn't say no to her. Shrugging, he told her what had happened - the glaring, the taunting, and the actual fight. He didn't bother leaving anything out.

"You're not a screw-up," she said softly. He liked how she hardly ever said fuck. In fact, he could only remember hearing it from her twice before.

"Maybe not, but I've definitely screwed up. More than once."

Anna shrugged. "Henry didn't want anything to do with me when I tried to apologise. He doesn't get to butt into something that's none of his business."

"What about Danny?" he asked.

She was there, and he was sure Phillips was wrong, but if there was one person who could take her away from him, it was Danny.

"What about Danny?"

"I'm sure he ain't too thrilled about us."

"He's not, but I told him it doesn't matter. Nothing he says is going to make a difference."

Not sure there was anything to say to that, Steve leaned forward and kissed her. He was sure he could feel her smiling against his lips as she kissed him back, but it soon turned into a breathy sigh as their kiss deepened. He wanted her to stay - always. Anna never leaving would be perfect and make every day worth it, but it wouldn't happen. Not yet, anyway. All he could do for the moment was kiss her harder and hope she got caught up in it enough to stick around for a while.

Her fingers were in his hair, his were spreading across the skin of her stomach, and they were lying sideways across his bed when she finally stopped him. He let her pull back, but continued scattering small kisses at the corner of her mouth and across her jaw.

"I should go," she whispered.

"Or you could stay."

"I can't stay."

"Sure you can." Steve placed a kiss right behind her ear. "You had a fight with Danny; why would you even want to go home?"

She shuffled away, grinning. "Because it's much safer at home."

"It's colder, too," he muttered. "Colder, lonelier, much less fun."

"Maybe. But I can't stay."

Giving up on the teasing, Steve leaned up on his elbow. "Staying doesn't mean anythin'. Just because you stay doesn't mean anythin' has to happen. We can just sleep." He looked at her carefully. "You know that, right?"

She slowly nodded. "I know that."

"But you still won't stay?"

"I shouldn't."

"I won't do anything you don't want me to."

She blushed, looking away. "I know, I'm just not sure there's anything I don't want you to do."

"Oh." Steve couldn't help but smirk. "In that case you should definitely stay."

"Just because I want to doesn't mean we should," she said, sitting up. "Once we finally got together last time, everything happened so fast. And I know we … did it after Danny got hurt, but this is different. I don't wanna rush anything."

"We won't rush anything," Steve assured her. When she said nothing, he sat up. "I'm serious. It doesn't matter what happened last time. We're not going to get back to what we once had by hurrying anything."

Anna looked at him, surprised. He supposed he was a bit surprised by his words, too. Not the promise to not rush anything, but his want to get back to what they used to have. He'd told her he loved her at the hospital, but since then had kept all serious talk to a bare minimum. It didn't matter anymore, though. He was done hiding from Anna. If he wanted to keep her, if he wanted her to spend more time with him than the small amount that she was, he had to stop keeping things to himself. Sometimes.

"You're right," she said, sitting up. "But that could be because I already said something awfully similar at the hospital."

Ignoring her teasing, he pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. "Guess it stuck with me."

Instead of replying, Anna leaned forward and kissed him again.

_Searching out hearts for so long,  
__Both of us knowing._

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and thanks to everyone who's reviewed :)


	22. Tears Are Gonna Fall

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO  
****Saturday, March 18****th****, 1967**

_The scars of your love remind me of us._

Anna knew she had to stop Steve and she had to stop him soon. He was driving her crazy, and if this went on for much longer, she was going to end up naked beneath him and not complaining about it. She couldn't let that happen - not yet.

But glory she wanted it. One of his hands was slipping beneath the hem of her skirt, his body was pressed tightly against her own, and his lips … well, Steve certainly knew how to kiss, and it was going to get her into a whole world of trouble if she wasn't careful. Grasping onto all the willpower she had, she pulled her mouth away from his.

"We have to stop," she panted, sucking in a breath as his lips left hers to trail down her neck.

"Just a little longer," he muttered against her skin.

She couldn't say no. She knew she should, and was still trying to remember why, but she just couldn't. He felt too good. Everything about him was warm, and it made everything about her feel just as warm. But she'd never intended for things to get this far. A little making out wasn't a bad thing, but Steve's fingers traced small patterns over the skin of her thigh and she gave a feeble whimper in protest.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"We really gotta stop."

Dropping his head onto her shoulder, he groaned loudly. "Why?"

Searching through her fuzzy mind, she tried to think of an answer to that and came up with nothing. They needed to stop, she knew that, but his hands, lips, and teeth had her wondering why exactly it was that she was stopping him. They were alone, they were on his bed, and they were both willing and eager. But …

"See? You don't even have a good answer." He was smirking; she was sure of it.

"I do …" She took a calming breath, brain finally working. "We're taking things slow, remember?"

"We were just kissing," he said, lifting his head to look at her.

"Your hand was beneath my skirt."

"Is that really so bad?"

Oh Lordy. With those gorgeous blue eyes staring at her so intently, she had trouble staying strong. Her best bet was to ignore him, because if she answered she would answer honestly and he would take it as consent to continue. She knew that if he continued, it would be a good while before she found the strength to stop him again.

Changing the subject seemed like a good idea.

"So … what time's the party?"

Steve shifted so he was lying next to her, legs still entwined with her own. "Later."

She rolled her eyes. "Good answer."

"Who cares about the party? Wouldn't you rather stay here?" Yes, she would. She stared at him, not saying anything as his fingers dipped inside her open blouse, resting on her stomach. "You know I'd keep you plenty entertained."

Blushing, she grabbed hold of his hand. "I don't doubt it."

Lacing his fingers together with her own, Steve changed the subject a lot smoother than Anna had.

"I told Two-Bit and Soda we'd meet them around eight."

"What's the time now?"

"Seven-thirty," he said, glancing at the clock behind him. "I oughta shower … unless you can't bear the idea of me leaving you alone in this bed."

"You're so full of yourself sometimes."

Steve just grinned and climbed to his feet. "That's why you love me."

On the outside, she gave a small smile and sat up. Watching him grab some clean jeans, she did her best to stay calm, but on the inside, her heart was pounding and she had to fight the urge to get up and run from his house. Steve Randle was talking about love, and he was doing it casual as all get out.

He might have said it jokingly, and he might have been talking about her feelings rather than his own, but it was something. Last year she had said it without thinking, without knowing Steve was listening, and he had said it back in his own Steve-like way. In the two weeks they'd had together after that, Anna had said it less that once a day, and Steve had said it three times total. Three. She had counted.

Neither of them trusted well, they weren't talkers, and they weren't big on opening up about their feelings. For Steve to casually say something like that was a big deal. Maybe not for anyone else, but for them. Neither of them had said the word once since that afternoon in his car, but that was okay. She had made him tell her how he felt at the hospital - twice - and he'd said it and meant it and that was all that mattered to Anna.

But for him to bring it up again, in any context, was a ridiculously big deal to her. He might still be the seventeen-year-old boy who wrestled with his buddies, but when it came to their relationship, he was officially the mature one. They were taking things slow - both physically and emotionally - but she was still the one trying to remember that she didn't need to take off anymore.

She knew how she felt and she knew how he felt and there was no use hiding it. It wasn't like last time where she had to try and ignore her feelings for fear that he wouldn't feel the same. He did feel the same. So much so that he'd said it first at the hospital, and every time she remembered that, the urge to take off cleared.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, standing in the doorway in a fresh pair of jeans and wet hair.

"Nothing," she said, feeling stupid for having not even realised he'd gone. And already showered.

Steve just gave her a half-smirk half-frown and dug around for a clean T-Shirt. Unable to help herself, Anna watched. Without the chance of his smug smirk catching her, she couldn't deny that her boyfriend was hot. Especially when he was shirtless and just out of the shower.

It was why she had such a hard time making herself stop him when they were fooling around. She supposed love and wanting to be with him had something to do with it, but when his hands were on her and his lips were making her dizzy with kisses, all she could think about was him and his body and the things she knew he wanted to do to her. The things she wanted him to do to her.

They made out a lot. They reached second base nearly every time they made out, and had hit third twice since that day at the hospital. Not going past that was becoming harder every time he kissed her, but something inside her knew waiting was for the best.

And other than being as persuasive as possible and not bothering to hide his disappointment when she stopped him, Steve was pretty good about the no sex situation. He never really pushed her for anything other than more making out time. Which she usually gladly gave. She knew he wanted more, but she was pretty impressed with his self control. Hell, she was impressed with her own self control.

But the fact was that it wasn't just about how good she knew he could make her feel. It was about how bad he had made her feel. She had forgiven him a long time ago, and they were working toward getting back to what they used to be, but there was still a lot to get past. For Anna, anyway.

"You ready to go?" Steve asked, holding a hand out to her.

Nodding, she placed her hand in his. "Yeah."

XXXXX

Gaze fixed on Anna, Steve did his best to ignore the arguing couple next to him. Although _couple_ wasn't really the right word. Apparently there had been no move forward or back for Soda and Anita, and nowadays all they did was try to make civil conversation. It seemed to work most of the time, and sometimes they even seemed like friends, but every now and then - usually when one of them had a few drinks in them - things got messy.

Soda snapped something about Anita flirting with George Silvers, and Steve tried even harder to block them out. If it weren't for the actual being together part, those two sure acted like a couple. It was a wonder they both didn't just give in and be together.

Leaning against the chain-link fence, he continued watching Anna. She was drunk. Not terribly so, but amusingly so. It was fun to watch her annoy other people with her constant chatter, and it was even better when _she_ had a few drinks in her. And he had to admit - even though he was who she liked to annoy most with her chatter - that some of the things she came out with were pretty great. Even when she admitted to Curly Shepard that if he'd had a scar on his face, she might have had a crush on him the last few years instead of Tim.

The fact that Steve was just finding out about her old crush on Tim wasn't so great, but he got over it when she decided she wanted to make out for a while.

Anita stormed away just as Evie made her way toward Anna. Steve watched, wondering what would happen. He'd seen them talk occasionally at school, but never out of school where Anna didn't have to be polite if she didn't want to be.

"That girl's gonna send me insane," Soda said, sagging against the fence.

"Why don't you just take her out?"

Soda shrugged. "Though about it for a while, but now …" he trailed off, shrugging again.

"You don't wanna?"

"Dunno what I want. Dunno what I could get even if I did know what I wanted." He sighed. "I think I screwed everything up by kissing her."

Anna and Evie seemed to be talking happily enough, and Steve looked at Soda. "Maybe it wasn't the kissing that was the problem, but the taking off afterwards."

Soda gave a rueful grin. "Could be that."

"I think she still likes you. Wouldn't fight with you so much otherwise."

"Don't I know it. I just don't know if I still like her."

Steve didn't say it, but he was pretty sure Soda did still like her. The two of them might not talk as much as they used to, but there was a look Soda got in his eyes whenever Anita was around. The look was much too confused and intrigued for Soda to no longer like Anita. Unfortunately for both Soda's and Anita's sakes, Steve was also pretty sure that Soda still spent too much time thinking about Sandy.

He looked back at Anna to see her laughing at something Evie was saying. Relief coursed through him. Anna had forgiven him, he knew that, but if she had forgiven Evie, too, then he was that much closer to getting things back to how they used to be. He had Anna, she was his again, but other than when he was kissing her, she was more reserved than she had once been. He couldn't blame her, but he didn't like it.

"You really think I should just ask her out?" Soda asked.

Steve smirked at Anna as she blew him a kiss and headed inside the house they were partying at. He looked at Soda, not sure how to answer.

"Well, not if you're not even sure you still like her. No point getting her hopes up."

"I guess." Soda stared into the distance, looking more miserable than Steve had seen him in a while. Then he frowned, standing up straighter. "Here comes trouble."

Steve looked to see Evie heading their way. He tensed, unable to remember the last time he had really spoken to her. There had been a short and forced conversation at work one day, but he couldn't remember much before that. All he knew was that it can't have been pleasant and was probably when they broke up. For the third time.

Looking past her, he tried to find Anna, but came up with nothing. Last he'd seen she had been heading inside, but before that she'd been talking to Evie. And their talk had seemed friendly enough. If Anna was friendly with Evie, then surely he could be polite. Also, if Anna was friendly with Evie, then he knew he didn't have to worry about her being jealous again. Even still, a tiny part of him wasn't sure it was a good idea. He'd cheated with Evie, after all.

"Hey," she said, stopping in front of them.

"How's it goin'?" he said, while Soda just nodded.

"It's goin' real good. I was just tellin' Anna how glad I am you two got your shit sorted." She said it so honestly and cheerfully that he couldn't help but believe her.

"You ain't kidding," he said. "Took me long enough to get her to even speak to me, let alone consider getting back together."

"I think she just had to realise some stuff," Evie said. "She always wanted you, but after … well, after the mess we made of things, I can hardly blame her for not speaking to either of us for so long."

"Yeah," Steve said, not sure what else to say.

Evie frowned. "You don't have to worry; I ain't hangin' around to start any problems. I actually want you and Anna together."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I told her that a long while ago, and I want you to know, too. Just, you know, so you know I'm not gonna be tryin' to cause any trouble."

That was a relief. Evie had caused more than enough trouble last year, and the last thing he and Anna needed coming between them again was any interference by Evie.

"Glad to hear it," Soda said. Steve was surprised at the hostility in his voice.

Evie seemed to notice and took a small step back. "I'm datin' someone else now. Y'all know Joey Hanson?"

Steve had to think hard to remember the guy Evie was talking about.

"That quiet guy who used to be in Shepard's gang?" Soda asked.

Evie nodded. Joey was a few years older and Steve didn't really know him. The only time he could place him was from the night Danny got shot, as the guy opposite him, hands also covered in blood.

"That's great, Evie," he said. From what he'd heard, Joey seemed like a decent guy. He was supposed to be super smart, but instead of going off to college, had chosen to stay in Tulsa and look after his sick mom. He'd quit the gang, but still helped out Tim occasionally.

"Yeah, he's really sweet."

Anita came back then, looking near tears.

"What's wrong?" Soda asked.

She shook her head. "Just Ricky. He always gets that bit meaner when he's been drinking."

Soda was silent for a moment and Steve could tell just by watching him that he definitely still liked Anita. Finally, he looked at her.

"Don't worry about him. I'll sort it."

"I didn't tell you so you'd sort it," she snapped. "I told you because he made me feel bad and I thought you'd -" She stopped, looking shocked at the words that had come from her own mouth. "Nothing."

The silence was awkward, and Steve was actually pleased when Evie came up with a decent enough conversation.

"So, how thrilled was Danny to hear about you and Anna?"

XXXXX

Not for the first time, Anna wished Kathy and Two-Bit were still together. Not only were they both miserable without each other, but parties were much less fun without her best friend around. Although, if Kathy was there, things between her and Two-Bit were always awkward to the point that one of them would leave early.

And after catching Two-Bit making out with Jean Jenner, Anna was pretty damn glad Kathy wasn't there. As unhappy as she was without Two-Bit, she'd be even unhappier to know breaking up hadn't seemed to change his ways at all. Scrunching her nose at the sight of Two-Bit's tongue down Jean's throat, Anna headed back outside to find Steve.

"Anna, baby. How about a dance?" Curly asked, standing right in front of her.

Inwardly cringing at the memory of telling too many people about her old crush on Tim, she pretended to consider Curly's offer. After a moment, she smirked and gave his chest a light shove.

"Ask me again when you're not fifteen."

He grinned. "You know I will, baby. That's only next month."

She ignored him, heading down the stairs and onto the front lawn. Steve was right where he'd been when she headed inside, but now both Anita and Evie were standing with him and Soda. Stopping short, her heart skipped a beat and she watched.

They talked, they laughed, they acted as though the last year hadn't happened. Frowning, trying to work through the alcohol in her bloodstream to figure out what this meant, Anna continued to silently watch. Evie said something, Steve answered. Steve said something, Evie laughed. Soda and Anita whispered to each other and still, Steve and Evie talked and laughed.

And it really shouldn't mean anything. After everything that had happened, Anna knew she was the one Steve wanted, not Evie. Just weeks ago she had assured Danny and Henry and Anita that Steve wouldn't go making the same mistake as last time, and she had believed it. Earlier that day she had believed it. But believing it became awfully hard when she was seeing the two of them together. The fact that she'd also been the one Steve wanted when he'd cheated on her last year didn't escape her.

Swallowing hard, she made herself remember Steve telling her he loved her at the hospital, telling her that he never got over her even when he was with Evie, telling her that it was her, only her.

It didn't work. They were still trying to get back to something resembling what they'd had last year, and Anna was still trying to get past every thing that had happened. Seeing Steve and Evie talking and laughing and not even noticing she was there just brought it all back. Cheating, lying, going behind her back. He'd promised her it wouldn't happen again and she'd believed him, but …

"That can't be easy," a voice said from behind her. She didn't have to turn to know it was Henry.

She said nothing, but only because he was right. It wasn't easy. It was like she was seeing something she wasn't supposed to see, and when something she wasn't supposed to see involved Steve and Evie … well, the possibilities made her sick.

"I hate to say I told you so …" Henry continued.

Anna turned. "Go to hell," she snapped, before heading back inside.

This wasn't the same as last year. Steve had promised, and she had to believe him because if she couldn't believe him then she was screwed. She refused to go through this relationship constantly worried about the threat of Evie like she had last time. He wanted her, he loved her, and he'd promised. Seeing them together, even just talking, took all that away, but she'd deal with it because he'd promised.

_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all._

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Reviews would make my day wonderful :)


	23. All I Hold

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday, who are apparently more recently known as The Age of Information.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE  
****Saturday, March 25th****, 1967**

_And I've lost who I am,  
__And I can't understand,  
__Why my heart is so broken,  
__Rejecting your love._

Steve stared at the baby on the floor. Bradley was still kind of pink, and even Steve couldn't deny that he was cute, but he wasn't sure what to do with him. Millie loved the kid, and even Anna couldn't get enough of him, but Steve constantly found himself unsure about him. Every time he held him, he was sure he'd just end up dropping him or breaking one of his small legs. Millie constantly assured him that Bradley was a lot less fragile than he looked, but Steve had a hard time believing that.

But even when he did manage to hold him or sit with him for more than a few minutes, there wasn't a whole lot to do with a baby. Hell, there wasn't a whole lot that a baby could do with anything. When he wasn't sleeping he was eating and when he wasn't eating he was sleeping. There was a brief period of time each day where he lay on the floor, gurgling and punching and kicking at the air, but that never lasted long.

Millie grinned at him from where she was folding tiny clothes on the sofa. "Give it a few months, kiddo. Once he can sit up you'll be able to do all kinds of things with him."

"Really?"

"Well, no. But you'll be able to do more than you do now."

Steve avoided her gaze when he spoke next. "It'll be cool when he's older, you know? And I can teach him football and stuff."

And he wanted to teach him that stuff. Thinking about it made Soda asking Pony to tag along not so bad.

"I ain't heard from your dad in weeks," Millie said. "I'm sure you're gonna have plenty to teach him that John ain't gonna be around to do."

After somehow finding out Bradley had been born, his dad had demanded to be let into his life. Under strict conditions from Millie with the threat to leave town and not tell him where she was going, he'd seen his kid twice. Steve thought that was a shitty attempt and hated his dad even more. As far as he was concerned, the kid would be better off never truly knowing his dad.

Staring down at the dark hair and blue eyes of his brother, Steve nodded. "I'll stick around, even when Dad doesn't."

Millie smirked. "I think Anna'd kill ya if you didn't. I have a feeling I've got her to thank for you visiting in the first place."

"Maybe a little. She said some things to, you know, convince me."

"Where is she? She usually never misses a chance to see Bradley."

Steve sighed. He really didn't want to get into it, but with Soda still making a mess of things with Anita, and Two-Bit still pretending he wasn't miserable without Kathy, the words fell from his mouth without much thought.

"She's at home," he said. "I'm supposed to pick her up for a party later, but … I dunno. She's been acting weird."

Finishing the clothing and starting on the nappies, Millie frowned at him. "Whaddya mean by that?"

"Well, she ain't exactly avoidin' me, but she doesn't seem to wanna hang out much. I mean, we weren't hangin' out everyday like we used to anyway, but I feel like I've hardly seen her all week."

And it was killing him. It was as close to the silent treatment as she could get while pretending nothing was wrong, and he didn't know how to fix it. He'd sworn to do anything to get Anna back, and he'd do anything to keep her, but he didn't know how to fix the problem when he didn't know what the problem was. Or when she wouldn't tell him because she barely stuck around to speak to him.

"Maybe she's just been busy with work and homework."

Steve shook his head. "It ain't that. I can tell when she talks to me at school that she doesn't really want to."

"Uh-oh. You must've done somethin' real bad."

"I ain't done anything. She was already kind of reserved and into taking things slow, but now she's just gone cold."

"Doesn't sound like Anna."

"Do you think … do you think she's changed her mind about me?" he asked, frowning at how pathetic he sounded.

Millie actually laughed. "Shoot, kid, there ain't no chance."

"Really?"

"I've seen the way that girl looks at you, and she's madly in love. There's no ways she's changed her mind."

Well, he knew at least half of that was true; Anna loved him, he had no doubts about that. But he'd barely seen her since last Saturday. She'd spent Sunday with Kathy, and other than two lunches at school, and a date on Wednesday night, he'd only seen her in study hall. At least they sat together now. If that hadn't changed then there was a good chance he would've gone days without seeing her.

She loved him, but she seemed to be pulling away and he couldn't stand it.

XXXXX

"You sure you're okay?" Steve asked, slipping his hands around her waist.

Anna grinned at him. "I'm fine. I swear."

"I've hardly seen you all week."

The confusion in his voice was loud and clear, and she couldn't help but feel guilty. She hadn't been avoiding him exactly, but she hadn't been as invested in their relationship as she could have been - as she should have been. If she really wanted things to get back to where they used to be then she should be trying. Instead, she'd been acting something close to indifferent toward him all week and felt awful for it.

But while she was trying to sort through her feelings about seeing him with Evie, it was just easier to stop seeing him. Not completely - because, in all honesty, she missed him so much that it hurt - but for the most part. She needed to figure out what was going on without his hands and eyes and words to distract her.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "But, c'mon, we're hanging out now. And as much as I'm sure you'd like to continue hanging out in some secluded part of this garden, we should go inside."

Inside where the party was going strong. Inside where the alcohol was flowing freely. Inside where she could lose herself in the crowd of people and smoke if she needed to. She looked at Steve, who was watching her carefully. She gave him her best smile.

"Let's go have fun, okay?"

He nodded, and they headed back inside. The house was so full that and Anna found herself lost in the crowd far quicker than she would've liked. Sure, time away from Steve was what she needed, but she felt bad for having treated him so badly the last week. He hadn't done anything yet, and he didn't deserve her shitty treatment.

Sighing, she pushed her way into the kitchen. She wasn't sure which direction Steve had gone, but figured it'd be easier to wait in one place for him to find her rather than searching for him in the crowd. Plus, she might as well take the few minutes she had to try and sort herself out.

Taking the drink Terry Armstrong offered her, she sat at the kitchen table and pretended to watch the ongoing poker game. She didn't know any of the guys who were playing, and watching wasn't any fun. She didn't particularly find playing fun, either, except when Two-Bit talked her into it and helped her beat Steve.

She sighed, thinking about Steve and Evie. There shouldn't be a Steve and Evie, she knew that. Hell, she knew there wasn't a Steve and Evie, but that didn't help the confusion she'd felt since last weekend. Seeing them together had messed up her belief in their relationship, and what the hell kind of relationship did they have if just seeing them together could do that?

Anna took a long drink. Obviously not a very strong relationship.

She loved Steve, and she wanted to be with him more than anything, but his promise to not make that same mistake had seemed less and less real all week. There was really no way she could be sure he wouldn't do anything to hurt her again. Despite what she'd said to everyone else about it, she was beginning to worry. She was beginning to doubt him.

"Hey," Two-Bit said. He fell into the seat next to her, beer sloshing from the two cans in his hands. "Have a drink."

Finishing off what was left in the drink she had, she took the offered one. "Thanks."

"Anytime, sweetheart."

She looked at him, but knew from the nickname alone that he was drunk. "How much have you had?"

He grinned. "Not nearly enough. You?"

"About the same."

Reaching under the table for something, Two-Bit produced a few more cans. "Well, drink up then."

She did. The beer wasn't terrible and the company was pretty good now that Two-Bit had arrived. She still didn't know where Steve was, but figured he'd find her once he decided he missed her. If he wasn't too busy talking to Evie.

"We could play truth or dare?" Two-Bit suggested a while later. She'd already turned down poker, go fish, and pennies.

"Really, Two-Bit? I mean, you're doin' an awfully good job at getting me drunk, but I ain't about to go spillin' my secrets to you."

He laughed. "You're a smart cookie, you are."

Anna doubted that. If she was so smart then she should be able to look past seeing Steve and Evie together. Either that or she should be able to realise that what she saw can't have been a good thing, and do something about it. Frowning, she took the new beer Two-Bit offered her. Drinking more was easier than trying to figure this out.

"I got a question," he said.

"I already told ya, I ain't tellin' you my secrets."

"This ain't a secret. I just got a question."

Even in her own drunken state she could hear the change to his voice. She looked at him, and had an idea of what was coming.

"What's that?"

He took a long drink before continuing. "I really messed things up with Kathy, didn't I?"

That hadn't been quite what she'd expected. Just a mention of Kathy, maybe asking how or where she was, but not this. And she wasn't sure how to answer, either. She didn't want to betray Kathy's trust, but she couldn't give Two-Bit false hope either. She didn't know if it was because he deserved the truth or because of the alcohol, but she answered honestly.

"Yeah, you did," she said, watching Linda Jones drag Terry onto what had been converted to a dance floor.

"Does she hate me?"

"Oh, Two-Bit. Of course she doesn't hate you."

"But I ain't gonna get her back, am I?"

He looked so devastated at the thought that Anna wanted to lie. She couldn't though. "I don't think so."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Fiddling with Grandpa Joe's necklace, Anna waited as long as she could stand it. Finally, unable to deal with this Two-Bit who was nothing like the one she was used to, she stood.

"I gotta get some air," she said, and hurried outside.

The front porch was crowded, the front yard had too many people milling about, and even the cars in front of the house had couples making out in them. Looking everywhere for Steve, she wasn't sure if she was pleased or disappointed she couldn't find him. Not worrying about it, she half-stumbled down the street and sat herself on the hood of his car.

Finally, with the sound of the party no longer roaring in her ears, Anna could think almost clearly. Well, as clearly as her mind would allow when she was as drunk as she was. Why she'd let Two-Bit get her so drunk was a mystery in itself; she normally wasn't that stupid. Two-Bit was usually a fun drunk, and drinking with him could become somewhat addictive. She should have known better.

But that wasn't the fun Two-Bit she was used to partying with. That was a Two-Bit who wasn't dealing with his break up with Kathy as well as anyone had thought. Though she was still angry with him on Kathy's behalf, Anna hadn't known what to say other than the truth, and now she felt bad for him. He'd hate that, but she couldn't help it. Even after how badly he'd treated Kathy, she still felt for him.

Taking another drink of the beer she'd brought outside with her, she knew she should stop drinking. Her head felt fuzzy and she was finding it hard to focus every time she blinked. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this drunk, but she couldn't deny that it felt good. Not having to really think about her problems - _forgetting_ her problems - sure was nice.

Footsteps heading her way pulled her attention away from her drink, and she narrowed her eyes at the approaching figure. After a fair amount of squinting, she jerked back.

"What're you doin' out here?" she asked Henry.

He gave her a small grin. "I guess I wanted to apologise."

"Really?" She wasn't sure she believed him, but he'd never lied to her before.

"Yeah. I never meant to be an asshole about everything. You apologised which was real decent of you, but I basically threw it back in your face."

Anna gave a sloppy shrug. "I wasn't exactly a good girlfriend, though, was I? I used you to try and get over Steve."

"Well … yeah, that definitely sucked."

"I never meant to," she said, feeling horrible all over again. Henry had been so good to her and she'd treated him so terribly. "I really did like you and I never meant to screw everything up so bad."

"I know." Henry stepped so close that he was almost touching her. "I sure wish things hadn't ended so badly."

"Me too."

"You know, I can't help but think that if Randle can try and succeed at getting you back after the way he fucked up, then maybe I can, too."

Frowning, Anna thought about that. There was no way Henry could get her back, she knew that, but it almost sounded nice. Maybe not nice, exactly, but definitely easy. She'd never had to worry about Henry and another girl, never had to question how he felt, and never had to wonder just how much she believed what he said. Being with Henry had been easier than being with Steve. Being with Steve was stressful and uncertain and hard. Being with Henry wasn't happier, but it would definitely be easier.

And easier sounded oh-so good. Anyway, if she thought about it real hard, it was probably only a matter of time before there _was_ a Steve and Evie again. There was always a Steve and Evie. She'd figured that out the night he'd cheated on her. So when Henry leaned in to kiss her, she didn't push him away. She didn't kiss him back, but she didn't push him away either.

XXXXX

"You okay, Two-Bit?" Steve asked, leaning over the kitchen table.

"Sure am, buddy."

Steve wasn't sure he believed him, but Two-Bit was too busy eyeing the blonde at the kitchen counter to pay any real interest in him. Steve grabbed his arm to get his attention.

"Hey, you seen Anna?"

"Yeah, she said she was heading outside," Two-Bit said, throwing an arm in the general direction of the front door.

Nodding his thanks, Steve left Two-Bit to the blonde he was already heading toward. He'd lost Anna far too long ago, but Bobby Miller had pulled him into a deep conversation about the '64 Pontiac he seemed to think he was going to buy. Steve hadn't been able to hold back his own thoughts on the car, and had spent too long going over the pros and cons with Bobby.

But now Anna was who knew where, and he hadn't seen her in he didn't know how long. She wasn't out the front of the house, and with the way she'd been acting all week, this was just one more fuck up he didn't need on his record. Losing his girl at a party wasn't cool. Especially when he hadn't bothered to find her because he'd been too busy talking about cars. He grimaced, leaving the front yard and heading down the street, hoping she wasn't too pissed at him. If he ever found her.

It wasn't until he was nearly at his car his car that he saw her. Stopping still, he watched for a moment, not sure what the hell was going on. It was like something was tearing at his fucking heart, and if this was anything close to how Anna felt when she found out about him and Evie, then Steve hated himself for doing that to her. But even more, he hated what he was seeing. Henry fucking Phillips leaning in to kiss Anna, on the hood of Steve's own fucking car, and Anna … letting him?

He didn't stop to think about what he was doing. With the hammering of his heart pounding in his ears, he stormed to his car and yanked the asshole off his girl. Pulling back his arm, he punched Phillips in the face harder than he'd ever punched anyone in his life. It felt fucking good, too, but the ache in his chest was torture.

He knew he should leave it at that, before he really got into with a Shepard Gang member while a bunch of other Shepard Gang members were just a few houses down, but he couldn't help himself. Throwing himself at Phillips, he punched him again and pushed him to the ground.

"Keep your fucking hands off her," he snarled.

Phillips tried to get a good grip on his shirt to push him off, but Steve wasn't letting the bastard get in a single shot. He pulled back his arm again, ignoring Anna who was yelling at him to stop, and smashed it into Phillips' face - again and again and again. When Phillips pulled his head to the side, Steve's knuckles went crashing into the ground below, but he didn't feel a thing. All he could feel was the heaviness in his chest.

"Touch her again and I swear I'll fucking kill you," he said, pulling his arm back again.

Anna grabbed him. "Steve! Stop!"

There was something in her voice that made him pause; not guilt or anger or even frustration, but the hint of tears. He might have just caught her not pushing her ex-boyfriend away, but he couldn't stand the idea of her crying. He looked at her, noticing that she didn't even look guilty or angry or frustrated. She did look near tears though, and even more than that, she looked tired. Tired of him?

He shrugged her off and got to his feet. Phillips, who wasn't as battered as Steve would have liked, staggered to his own feet. Spitting out blood, he glared at Steve, but instead of coming at him like he expected, Phillips just smirked.

"Maybe next time you ought to keep an eye on your girl instead of hanging out with her cousin," he said. He took off without another word.

The silence left behind was harsh. Steve wanted to yell and scream and throw things. He turned to Anna, surprised she hadn't taken off running yet, and ignored the hurt.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Standing in front of him, swaying slightly and obviously drunk off her ass, Anna shrugged indifferently. "What?"

"You let him kiss you! How could you do that? Why would you let him -"

"I saw you!" she shouted, interrupting him. "I saw you with Evie last week!"

His heart sank. Of course she had seen him with Evie. If there was anything to explain her mood this last week, it was Evie. It was always fucking Evie. She continued before he could say anything.

"You were talking and laughing and looking far too happy together considering how much you both hurt me! And you know what seeing you with her made me realise?" Anna asked. She seemed to have lost her drunken indifference from a few seconds ago and was just angry now. "I realised that it made so much more sense to screw you over now than to wait for you to do it to me again. 'Cause that's why you cheated in the first place, ain't it? To hurt me before I could really hurt you by leavin'?"

Fuck. This wasn't what he'd been expecting. Even after finding out she'd seen him with Evie he still hadn't expected anything like this. He wasn't even sure he'd ever seen her this drunk or this angry. He felt bad for her and worse for himself, but all he managed was frustration.

"Shit, Anna, that's why you didn't push him away? How long are you gonna hold this against me, huh? I thought we were done with that bullshit at the hospital!"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Anna just shrugged. She looked unsure, but then everything about Anna was unsure lately; the way she looked at him, the way she talked to him, even the way she kissed him. And it wasn't just since she'd seen him with Evie last week. She'd been unsure since a couple of days after getting back together, and now it was just worse.

"I'm not gonna do it again. I've told you that so many fucking times, and if you want this to work then you're gonna have to believe me! Have some fucking trust in me."

She scoffed. "Trust you? Steve, you _cheated_ on me! How am I supposed to trust you after that?"

He flinched. That really fucking hurt. He couldn't help but wonder if this is how she'd felt since getting back together, or if it was since seeing him with Evie last weekend. He was pretty sure it was since seeing him with Evie. He felt sick - like he was losing her all over again when he hadn't even done anything. _She_ had let Phillips kiss her, but without her trust they had nothing.

"If you don't trust me then why are you even with me?" he asked, voice quieter.

Tears formed in her eyes. "Because - because I love you," she said, as though it were obvious.

Just the sight of her tears had him forgiving anything that had happened with Phillips. For the most part. If he knew Anna at all then he knew why she'd let it happen. He took a step toward her, encouraged when she didn't move away. He knew that the only way to get her trust again was to be honest.

"Anna, I haven't touched another girl since Evie," he said. "And even then I barely touched her after …"

"After what?"

"After you came to me the night of the rumble," he admitted, staring at the trees behind her. "But if you can't trust me, then …

"Then maybe we should call it quits before things get worse."

His gaze snapped to her. "Yeah, maybe we should."

She blinked in surprise. "What?"

It hurt, so fucking much. He didn't want to end a damn thing with her, but what the fuck was this? And why the fuck would he want to stay with her after everything she'd said and done that night? She might not have kissed Phillips back, and Steve might have arrived only seconds after Phillips tried something with her, but shit. He sighed; the answer was obvious - he really fucking loved her.

It was mean, but he was pretty sure the only way to make her see sense was by letting her think she might actually lose him. Though, even as he stepped away he knew it wouldn't take much from her for his resolve to break.

"Why the hell not?" he asked. "This whole thing is a mess. You don't trust me with Evie, you - shit, you let Phillips kiss you, and it's not supposed to be like this. That day at the hospital was perfect, but nothing's been that good since and it probably never will be."

"But you're supposed to love me," she said quietly.

"I do. I fucking do, but you're not even trying!"

Her lip trembled. "It's just so hard."

"I know, but nothing's ever been easy with us, Anna." He was angry and hurt, but he wasn't going to let this be it. "If you can't trust me, then - well, shit, you're just gonna have to try and learn to again, because I ain't letting this end. Not now that I've got you back. _If_ you want this to work, then you're gonna have to _try_."

"I do want this to work," she whispered.

"Then don't do this. Please don't do this." He gripped her hand in both of his, hating that he was begging almost as much as he hated the tight feeling in his throat and chest. "Just try, okay? Please? But for now, just talk to me - just ask me."

She frowned, looking beautiful and confused and drunk. "Ask you?"

"Ask me anything." He shrugged, staring at her. "I told you I'd do anything to get you and I'm gonna do anything to keep you. I sure as hell ain't gonna keep anything from you."

Anna burst into tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so, _so_ sorry."

An apology and those sobs and he couldn't hold a damn thing against her. Pulling her into his arms, he let her cry for a few moments. The sight of Phillips kissing her was still burned into his brain, but it wasn't like when he'd slept with Evie. It wasn't out of hurt and anger and a hint of spite, it was out of hurt and confusion and probably a lot of still real hurt because of what he'd done to her the year before.

Sliding his arms around her waist, he buried his face in her hair. "Just tell me you don't want him," he pleaded.

Still sniffling, she shook her head. "I only want you, Steve."

"You sure?"

"Yes." She pulled back, staring at him earnestly. "I don't want him. I should've pulled away, but for a moment, letting it happen just seemed so much easier than worrying …"

"I know."

More tears fells and she let out another choked sob. "I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me."

Wiping her tears away with his thumbs, he kissed her softly. "You know I could never hate you. We just gotta work on this trust thing, okay?"

"God, I'm such a hypocrite. After all those things I said about you cheating, and I've just done the same thing."

Steve shook his head. "It's hardly the same thing."

She stared at him, looking worried. "Do you still trust me, though? I didn't kiss him back, but I still let him - I let him …"

Any other girl and any other situation and he'd have said no and told her to fuck off. But this was Anna, and he'd screwed her over badly so badly that he knew she wouldn't do the same to him just to try and hurt him. She never would have let it go that far. Phillips might be a generally nice guy, and Steve didn't want to make excuses for Anna, but she'd made a mistake; she was drunk, hurting, and confused. From the look Phillips had given him, he wouldn't be surprised if Phillips had taken advantage of that.

"'Course I do," he said, and he really did.

Wiping at her eyes, she nodded. "I'm gonna try," she promised. "I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get us back to where we used to be, okay?"

She sounded so sure of herself that Steve couldn't help but believe her. He nodded. "Okay."

_All this time spent in vain,  
__Wasted years, wasted gain,  
__All is lost, hope remains,  
__And this war's not over._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Much love to Erin for a million reasons, the most recent being this song.


	24. New Day Rising

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Times Like These" by The Foo Fighters

**Warning:** Fluff. Haha.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR  
****Wednesday, April 5th, 1967**

_It's times like these you learn to live again._

Leaning her back against her locker, Anna stared into Steve's eyes and considered his offer. It was a good one - probably the best she'd receive all day - but she was pretty sure she'd have to turn him down.

"We only just got here," she said.

"So?"

"So you really wanna skip out on the whole day? I don't know about you, but I have a history test this morning."

"Third period? That's perfect; we can meet up right before study hall and leave for the rest of the day."

She liked that he knew her schedule. "And do what?"

Steve smirked. "Whatever you like - go out for lunch, go see Millie and Bradley, hang out at my house."

Pushing herself away from her locker, Anna rolled her eyes. Having realised her lack of trust in Steve when it came to Evie, she was now pretty sure that played a major factor in why they hadn't had sex yet. However, even though she was pretty sure he knew this, she appreciated that he still teased her about it. It was good to know he wanted her, and the last thing she wanted while trying to fix things was for something so typical to change.

Sliding her hand into his, she tugged him down the hallway. "Or we stay at school, and I'll come see you tonight?"

"Yeah?" he asked, tightening his grip on her hand.

She nodded, but said nothing. Since their awful fight at Terry Armstrong's party, not much had changed. In fact, things almost seemed a little too like last year for her comfort. She was completely untrustworthy when it came to Evie, and Steve was jealous and still denying it.

Differences were that this time he was jealous over Henry rather than Ricky, and Anna supposed he had reason to be. Her relationship with Henry had been a lot better than her one with Ricky, and she'd - so damn stupidly - let him kiss her. She hated herself for it, but she'd messed up and kissed Henry, and Steve had every reason to be furious and jealous. Not that she ever planned on doing it again.

As for her lack of trust … well that was something she was still attempting to work through. And when she heard Evie calling her name down the hallway, she realised this might be her first chance to do so.

"Anna! Wait up!"

Steve tensed, pulling his hand back. "I'll just see you in study hall, okay?"

She knew he was just trying to make things easier on her, but she held tight and shook her head. In the interest of moving on and trying to trust him, she wanted him to stick around for whatever Evie wanted.

"Hey, guys!" Evie said, far too happy for Anna's liking.

"Hey," Anna said. Steve said nothing.

Evie grinned. "I was hoping I'd run into you. Mom's making dinner for your dad and his new girlfriend tonight, and she said you and Danny _have_ to come. No excuses."

No excuses? _Shit_. "Sounds great."

"Cool. Dinner's at seven. Oh, and Mom also wants to know if maybe you'd make a pie for dessert?"

Anna nodded. "Yes, absolutely."

Maybe she'd even make three. If she had a few hours to kill between school and dinner she was going to need something to keep her busy. Sitting around and stressing about dinner with Evie would just give her a headache. She'd much rather be busy making pie for Evie and her family.

"I dunno if it'd be weird," Evie continued, "but you can come, too, if ya want, Steve."

Dropping the hand she was holding, Anna crossed her arms. "He can't. He's busy."

"Yeah," he said, ignoring her mood and throwing an arm around her shoulders. "I'm busy tonight."

Evie shrugged. "Oh well. Maybe next time." She left with a final grin.

"You know, I'm pretty sure jealousy isn't healthy for any relationship," Steve said, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"You're one to talk."

"I kinda like it. I mean, I wish you weren't jealous and that things were, you know, good between us. But I like how defensive you are."

"I'm not defensive."

"Doesn't matter what you are," Steve said. He placed a kiss on her forehead before looking down at her. "You just gotta remember that I only want you."

Her heart thudded and she could feel herself relax. "Yeah, I know."

"And you only want me." He didn't ask, but she had a feeling he was after confirmation.

"I only want you."

"Good." Steve scowled at the ceiling as the final bell rang. "I'll see you in study hall?"

"Okay."

"And we'll still hang out tonight? After your dinner?"

She couldn't deny that she liked how eager he was. Still cocky, but definitely committed to spending time with her. Spending time getting things back to how they once were. She nodded, looking forward to hanging out with him.

XXXXX

Anna felt a little sick. If she'd known that agreeing to dinner with her family would result in this, she never would have come. Shifting her seat that little bit closer to Danny's, she tried not to throw up in the blueberry pie she'd made.

"You get any closer you're gonna be sitting on me," Danny snapped.

"Can you blame me? Really?"

Looking over her shoulder, Danny grimaced. "It's pretty gross."

"Gross? Major understatement. Our dad is feeding dessert to his girlfriend. He's _feeding_ her. That's … disgusting. And so out of character."

"Yeah." Turning away from the couple next to Anna, Danny went back to his pie. "It's cool, you know, that Dad's got a girlfriend, but it's not cool to see _that_."

"I like Meredith," Anna said, keeping their conversation quiet. "She scored me a pay rise at work even before she started dating Dad, and she's taught me a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with sitting next to her while she whispers sweet nothings into Dad's ear."

Danny paused, piece of pie mid-air. "Sweet nothings?" he asked, grinning. "What kinda romance books have you been reading?"

"None, actually. I've just seen you do it to Mary-Louise enough to know what it looks like and know that it's gross."

"Or maybe you're just jealous. Maybe Randle doesn't whisper sweet nothings in your ear."

Well actually. She smirked, thinking of the things Steve _did_ whisper in her ear. Not exactly sweet, that was for sure, but also not the kind of thing she wanted to mention to Danny. Though, if his scowl was anything to go by, she didn't need to.

"I've noticed you ain't stayed at his place," he said, lowering his voice.

"Are you really asking me about … _that_?"

"No, not really. I just think it's good."

"Of course you do."

"I'm serious, Miss B." Danny looked at her, and she knew he wasn't just talking out of sheer dislike for Steve. "If you're taking this slow, which is how it seems, then I think that's good. And I ain't just talking about … _that_."

"Right. Well, I am. Taking this slow, that is."

Danny looked more relieved than she'd seen him in a long time, but she still believed it wasn't just about the sex. "Good."

Glancing across the large table, she looked at half the reason she was taking things slow. Evie. Evie, who just happened to be half the reason she was feeling sick. It wasn't how she'd thought it would be; she wasn't thinking about Steve and Evie, or everything Evie had done to hurt her. She was trying not to stare in fascination and grimace in disgust as Evie and Joey swooned over each other at the dinner table.

Anna really wasn't sure who was worse - Evie and Joey, or her dad and Meredith.

Evie was in love, there was no doubt about that. She and Joey could barely take their eyes off of each other, and Anna had to wonder if she and Steve had ever looked that stupid. She really hoped not, but there might have been a small part that hoped so.

It didn't make her trust Steve any more that she had before dinner, but it sure made her feel better about him and Evie. Because there was no him and Evie, and she hated that it had taken Evie moving on for her to realise that. She knew that Steve didn't want Evie, but realising Evie wasn't going to be making any more plays for Steve sure helped.

"You know, I think we might be movin' soon," Danny said quietly.

"Whaddya mean? Movin' where?"

"Our house is only just big enough for the three of us; ain't no way Meredith, her kid, and Anita are gonna fit in there, too."

"You don't think -" She broke off, glancing back at her dad and Meredith. "You think it's that serious?"

Danny shrugged. "Maybe. It ain't been that long, but …"

He didn't need to finish for Anna to understand. Her dad hadn't been seeing Meredith for that long, but there was something different about him since he had been seeing her. He'd changed an awful lot in the last year, but with Meredith around, he was like a whole other person. He was happy.

"I think they've been together a lot longer than we know," she said.

"Yeah. But if we don't move, then I hope you're ready to share a room."

She smirked. "Anita's my friend. I wouldn't mind sharing a room with her if I had to. Alex is only … fourteen? You ready to share a room with a kid?"

"Oh, I don't have to worry about that," Danny said, grinning. "I'm gonna be twenty soon. I can move outta home whenever the hell I like."

Anna rolled her eyes as though Danny's comeback wasn't a big deal, but the idea of him moving out of home was horrible. Her dad was different, and she had Steve again - Steve, who she loved so damn much - but she still needed her brother. Glancing at him, she wondered just how serious she was. He _would _be twenty soon, and he had a serious - serious for him, at least - girlfriend. He could move out of home whenever he wanted, and why shouldn't he?

She was officially the worst sister in the world; selfish, wanting Danny to stay at home just for her, and hating the idea of him moving out and having a life of his own. She needed him, but he was an adult. He might act like an idiot with some of the shit he and Tim did, but there was really no reason for him to still live at home. When she thought about it, she was pretty sure she was also the worst girlfriend in the world, too; untrusting, kissing ex-boyfriends, and holding out.

She sighed, wondering why Danny put up with her and Steve was even with her.

XXXXX

Sitting on the couch on the front porch, Steve wished Anna would hurry the hell up, and for once, not just because he was pathetically desperate to see her. The sooner she got there, the sooner he could leave. With the mood his dad was in - _had_ been in before passing out - he was more desperate to get to Soda's than he was to see Anna.

Well, not really. If that were the case he'd already be at Soda's and Anna would just have to deal with turning up to find him gone. But he wanted to see Anna. More than he needed to get out of his house.

A small sigh fell from his lips when Danny's car pulled up. There was no small argument or heated discussion before Anna climbed out this time, and he wondered if Danny was finally done hassling her about being with him, or if they were just getting along particularly well. He figured either one would be a good thing.

Anna smiled at him as she reached him, but it was only small. She looked tired, and he hoped like hell her dinner with Evie had gone okay. It wouldn't be his fault if Evie had done something to piss Anna off, but he knew it wouldn't help him any. In fact, he was sure it would just make things worse for them.

"What happened?" she asked, soft fingers brushing against his left cheek.

He knew there was a bruise forming - had been able to feel it for the last hour - but hadn't bothered icing it. Staying outside had seemed like a better idea.

"Dad was in a bad mood. He's passed out now." His answer was brisk and straight to the point, but that was pretty much all there was to it. Nothing major had happened; it had just been an everyday argument, finished when his dad's fist colliding with Steve's cheek.

Anna frowned, but he decided a change in subject was in order before she could say anything.

"How was dinner?"

A smile was the last thing he expected, but he felt warm when she did it.

"It was actually kinda cool. A little weird, but not nearly as bad as I'd thought it would be."

"Weird?"

"Yeah." Anna made herself comfortable on the couch, and he draped his arm over her shoulders as she leaned into him. "Dad and Meredith are weird. I mean, it's nice that he's so happy, but it's still weird to see. And gross."

"I'm just glad Dad and Millie were never like that," Steve said with a smirk.

"Dad was actually feeding her dessert. And no one except me and Danny seemed to realise how disgusting it was."

"Sounds … awkward."

She nodded, reaching up to hold the hand around her shoulder. "Evie didn't help. Have you seen her and Joey together? I think they're like, in love or something."

Sheer relief flowed through him, but he tried not to show it. He was over Evie - had been done with her for a long time - but Evie not being done with him had caused them problems in the past. Now she was moving on, in love with someone else, and Steve felt like maybe he and Anna might get somewhere.

"That's good," he said.

"It's really good," Anna agreed.

They were silent for a few minutes, and Steve wondered what would happen now. He didn't expect any major improvements, but something had to change. He was over Evie, Evie was over him, and Anna had to realise that. Christ he hoped she realised that. Once she realised that then she'd know for sure she had nothing to worry about. He hoped.

"What're you gonna do, Steve?" she asked quietly.

"About what?"

"You'll be eighteen in ten days. You won't have to stay here any more if you don't want to."

His heart thudded as he realised that, while he'd been worrying about her and her trust issues, she had been worrying about him and the issues he had with his dad. They had some definite relationship stuff to work through, but it never failed to amaze him just how much she cared.

Shrugging, he spoke honestly. "I wanna finish school, you know? I can't do that if I ain't livin' at home."

"What about after school?"

"I'll be outta here as soon as school's finished. Billy's always said he'd be happy to take me on fulltime once I leave school. Then I can go somewhere. Get a place of my own, I guess."

Sliding around so she could see him, she sat sideways and placed her legs over his. "That's real good. I can't imagine you doin' anything other than cars."

"I ain't sure I'd wanna do anything other than cars," he said, softly stroking the skin above her knee with his hand. Her legs draped over his with that damn short skirt were killing him.

"Where would you go? When you move out?"

"Dunno. Guess I hadn't thought that far ahead."

She nodded, looking away from him. "Right."

And now that he was thinking about it, he really wasn't sure. There were probably plenty of places he could get a small place for himself, but none of them were in his neighbourhood - in their neighbourhood. Not having Anna a couple of streets away sounded far too depressing, and the thought of asking her to come with him flittered through his mind.

Feeling a little sick, he made sure not to say anything like that. He realised then that they might be taking things slow and working through their fucked-up past, but he was much farther ahead in their relationship that she was. Much farther ahead than he had been last time. She was trying to work through last year; he was looking to the future. Their future.

She and the guys were his life, there was no doubt about that, but asking her to come with him was a stupid idea. An idea he wasn't sure he was even ready for. Having her with him every night sure sounded nice, and he had no doubt it would happen, but not yet. It wasn't going to happen yet. Talking about it wasn't going to happen yet. Properly considering it wasn't going to happen yet.

It was an idea, but one for later. He stopped feeling sick when he thought of that. Knowing - not just hoping and assuming, but actually _knowing_ - he'd have a later with Anna was pretty fucking nice. Somehow, after their fight when she kissed Phillips, there was no doubt in his head that they'd make it work. They both wanted it too much to not make it work.

"I won't go far," he said. "I'll stay as close as I can."

"Really?"

"Really. I can't be too far away, just in case you decide to sneak out to see me."

She smiled, and after a few moments of silence, changed the subject. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"You love me, right?"

Lifting his hand from her thigh, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You know I do."

"A lot?"

"More than anything else," he said, and the words were out before he realised what it was he was admitting.

Anna stared at him for a long moment, and he was sure she was trying to tell whether or not he was telling the truth. He felt sick again, knowing she might freak out or not quite feel the same, but there was nothing he could do about that. If he'd learnt anything from trying to get her back, it was that his honesty usually paid off.

She gave him a very pleased-with-herself smile before snuggling into his chest. "I love you, too."

_It's times like these you learn to love again._

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Fluff is tough. I find it hard to write. Therefore, telling me what you think of said fluff would be appreciated :P

Oh, and happy Good Fic Day!


	25. You Alone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Only You (and You Alone)" by The Platters.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE  
****Sunday, April 16****th****, 1967**

_When you hold my hand, I understand,  
__The magic that you do._

Anna had been working up to this moment for a while now, and there was no way she was going to let herself back out of it. Trusting Steve completely was about more than just trusting him not to cheat again. It was about everything else, too. She needed to know that given chance to hurt her, he wouldn't take it. Deep down she was sure she already knew this, and it wasn't like she was testing him, but if he could do this one thing with her then it would almost be like before.

That was if she could even do this herself. It had been weeks of working up enough trust in Steve, but months of dreading the idea of going into Grandpa Joe's. She was there, and in her effort of putting all of her trust in Steve, she was going to make herself go inside. Maybe.

It was coming up to a year since he'd died and that was too long. She missed him like crazy, hated that she'd never see him again. But she knew that if she didn't go inside now - before the one year anniversary went by - then she might never. It was a mental deadline, and she refused to break it.

"We don't have to do this," Steve said, standing behind her.

She said nothing. Taking a breath, she thought over the words that had been running through her head the last few weeks. _More than anything else_. That was huge. That was bigger than him admitting he loved her. That was Steve loving her more than his car, more than Bradley, more than Soda. And it was that last one - more than Soda - that really made her heart pound and her palms sweat and her vision a little shaky.

Soda was his best friend; had been since they were kids. Soda was who he'd always gone to when he fought with his dad. Soda was the one person he had never been angry with. But he loved Anna more.

For her he'd always been a particularly close second to Danny. Sometimes so close that the line blurred and she wasn't sure who stood where. But to know that she was first for him, she was who he loved most … it made her deliriously happy. She remembered the first time he'd come to her instead of going to Soda's after a fight with his dad, and what she'd felt then didn't even compare to this.

She felt a little guilty that she wasn't always in the same place, but she'd get there. She had no doubts about that. Steve was it for her. They were still working through everything, but he was it.

"I want to," she said.

"I'm not sure how much I believe you."

She smirked. "I'm not sure how much I believe me either."

"Listen," Steve said, playing with her fingers. "You sure you want me here?"

"You don't wanna come in with me?"

"You know I will, Anna. I just wonder if maybe you'd be better off with Danny."

She and Danny hadn't really discussed going back to Grandpa Joe's since he got shot. It hadn't seemed as important after that, and then there had been the mess with Two-Bit and Kathy, before Anna'd had to make her decision about Steve. The worry of going to Grandpa Joe's had been pushed back and forgotten about until the night before.

A little drunk from celebrating his birthday at Buck's, Steve had traced the cross on her necklace and brought the conversation up.

"Did you ever go?" he'd whispered.

Distracted by his fingertips grazing her skin, Anna frowned. "Go where?"

"To sort out your grandpa's stuff?"

"No. We never got around to going back."

"I think you should. I know you're still upset, but it might help." He looked at her, gaze steady. "I'd come with ya if you wanted."

Unable to think about much else since, Anna had called him only hours ago and asked him to go with her. He might be right and maybe she would be better off going with Danny, but Danny wouldn't be around forever. He hadn't said anything else about moving out, but Anna had been thinking about it everyday since - half-waiting for his announcement, half-wondering what she'd do without him.

The answer was obvious, and it had taken Steve's offer for her to see it. She had him. She'd had him since the night Grandpa Joe died. She was pretty sure that she'd had him even when they weren't together, too. She'd gone to him the night Dallas and Johnny had died, and she knew he would have done the same for her.

And though she felt sick at the idea of going inside, it was okay. She didn't know if it was time or Steve that made the difference, but going inside didn't seem quite as daunting as it had last time. Especially when Steve slid his hands around her waist.

"It's okay, you know? If you'd rather do this with Danny."

She shook her head. "I want you to come with me."

"Good," he said, and she knew they were on the same page. This was one of those big steps in their relationship to make them whole again, and they both knew it.

Keys digging into her palm, she headed to the front door. She wondered if Danny would notice the missing key from his key ring and hoped not. His reaction to her going to Grandpa Joe's without him wasn't something she wanted to think about. Instead, she took a deep breath and slid the key into the lock.

Gritting her teeth, she held tight to the sharp keys and walked over the threshold. Steve was right behind her, closing the door softly before uncurling one of her fists and tightly holding her hand. She hoped he wasn't too grossed out by her sweaty palms.

"Okay?" he asked.

She nodded, but it was a good minute before she could move into the house. It had been closed up for almost a year. She knew Danny and the lawyer had come by to empty out the food in the kitchen, but since then no one had been in there. It smelled musty and stale, but there was still a hint of Grandpa Joe in the air. It was a mix of soap he had used and the tea he used to drink. As much as it made her want to cry, Anna breathed deep. It was somewhat comforting.

Still holding tight to Steve's hand, she led the way to the kitchen and stopped feeling so comforted. They'd always spent their time in the kitchen, talking about school, boys, his poker buddies. Anna would drink Coke and he'd drink his tea, Danny would turn up late and talk to Grandpa Joe about his car or football or girls, and then they'd all have dinner.

Going to the kitchen first had been a stupid idea, but she wasn't sure there was anywhere else she'd want to go. The kitchen was where all her memories of him were, and a lump grew in her throat as she took in the layer of dust over everything.

"You wanna sit for a minute?" Steve asked quietly.

She nodded again, so damn glad he was there. It was definitely one of those times where he came first. The line was blurred and she could barely remember who Danny was. Steve was with her and she needed him and she _knew_ he'd never do anything to hurt her. He loved her, more than anything.

Steve pulled out a chair for her, pulling his own to sit right next to her. She sat, the silver of the necklace feeling cold against her skin. Tears pricked her eyes and just like when she'd come with Danny, she felt like an idiot. It had nearly been a year, and she was making a fool of herself. Again.

She couldn't help it, though. It used to be that she could hold off on tears. She'd grown up with Danny and Tim and had learned to deal with nasty comments from mean boys in ways that didn't end up with those boys making fun of her. Since Steve had made her cry at the Dingo last year, she'd cried more than she liked, but only twice for Grandpa Joe. Every other time had been because of Steve - which wasn't a good thing for their relationship, but she was willing to look past that.

Now, sitting at the table where Grandpa Joe had tried to teach her and Kathy poker, where he'd fed her and Danny more times than she could count, and where she'd told him everything about her crush on Steve, she felt the tears come and didn't bother stopping them.

When Steve pulled her against his chest, she wasn't sure he'd ever make it back to second place.

XXXXX

The Dingo was packed. Steve had been unsure about going after the way she'd cried at Grandpa Joe's, but after a couple of hours hanging out with him in his bedroom, a shower, and a fresh set of make-up, Anna was good. She felt better about Grandpa Joe than she had since he died, and she wasn't sure if it was going to his house, crying about it, or Steve that made her feel that good.

Whatever it was, she liked it. It was relaxing, and her chest felt much lighter for it. Even with Evie on the other side of the Dingo, she still felt good.

The tension at their table, however, was not relaxing. She sat in the booth between Steve and Anita, and Steve seemed oblivious to the tension as he played with her hair and talked to Soda. Soda seemed to be ignoring the tension, but kept shooting furtive glances at Anita, who was watching Two-Bit in concern.

Anna looked at Two-Bit. "Are you okay?"

He met her gaze, and she wasn't sure if he was drunk or not. "Why wouldn't I be?" he asked. "Just 'cause my ex-girlfriend's here with another guy don't mean anything."

She almost wanted to point out that it had been over two months, and if they weren't getting back together, then wasn't it about time they both moved on? Problem with that was that it would sound like a bunch of rubbish coming from her. She'd gone five months before dating another guy after Steve.

"If it's any consolation, I don't think Kathy really likes him," Steve said. "I watched him ask her out on Friday, and she seemed really unsure about it."

"But she still said yes."

"Only once she realised I was watching. I think she wants you to think she's over you."

Tapping her fingers against the table, Anna said nothing. She felt bad for Two-Bit, but agreeing with Steve was betraying Kathy's trust too much. The fact was that Kathy wasn't over Two-Bit, and despite Kathy's weird mood the last few days, she wasn't about to go spilling that one. Moving on might not have helped her or Steve, but there was still hope for Kathy. Anna didn't even know who this guy Kathy was out with was, but Kathy had said his name was Dave and he was in her English class.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Two-Bit stood. "Whatever. I've got some unfinished business with Marsha Hill anyway."

He left, walking steady enough. Anna looked at Steve.

"Who's Marsha Hill?"

"Some girl he met at Terry's party."

"I hope he's okay," Anita said. "He seemed pretty upset."

Sliding around the booth so he was now facing Anita, Soda nodded. "I think he loved Kathy more than anyone realised. Too bad she won't take him back."

"Yeah. Too bad he screwed up the way he did," Anna said, remembering Soda being annoyed with her for not taking Steve back. She wasn't about to let him say anything about Kathy.

Before Soda could reply, Anita spoke up. "Yeah, maybe he'd have her if he'd put in a little effort to keep her."

Soda stared at her for a few moments. "Well maybe he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to keep her."

"And maybe she's sick of sitting around waiting! Maybe she's been waiting for months with no progress."

"Then maybe she ought to get the hint and leave it be."

Anna didn't have to be good at math to know Soda and Anita weren't talking about Two-Bit and Kathy anymore. Anita stood, angrier than Anna had ever seen her.

"Hint taken," she spat, and left the Dingo without another word.

Soda sat for a few second, before cursing and going after her.

As bad as she felt for all her friends, Anna smirked. "Think back a month, a year. Who would've thought _we_ would've had the stable relationship? After years of fighting, and now we're the only ones who seem to be on the right track."

Steve scoffed. "Ain't no _seem_ about it. We are on the right track."

She wholeheartedly agreed. Leaning up to kiss him, she forgot about Grandpa Joe, she forgot about her fighting friends, and she forgot about Evie being there. She relaxed even more, sighing slightly as Steve deepened the kiss.

"For fuck's sakes," Danny complained, making quite the racket as he slid into the other side of the booth.

Anna blushed and turned toward her brother. "Hey."

He'd gotten over his frustration of her and Steve, but still hated seeing them doing anything more than hold hands. He scowled at them, looking more pissed off than usual.

"Give us a minute," he said to Steve, not asking.

It wasn't often Steve let anyone tell him what to do, but they both knew it was just easier when it came to Danny. Anna slid out of the booth to let Steve out.

"I'll be outside," he said. "Miller's got a new car I wanna look at."

She waited until he was gone before sliding back in opposite Danny. "What's up?"

Instead of answering, he pulled his keys out of his pocket and dropped them on the table.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. You wanna tell me where my missing key is?"

Digging in her coat pocket, she pulled out the key to Grandpa Joe's. She slid it across the table. Not saying anything, Danny picked it up and stared at it for a moment.

"You went?" he finally asked.

She nodded. "This afternoon."

He looked at her. "By yourself?" At her silence, he nodded. "With Randle."

"Yeah. Look, I know you hate him, but he was good to me, okay? He _is_ good to me. He sat with me the whole time."

"You went inside?"

"Uh-huh."

Danny sighed, leaning back against the booth. "Well, I guess you don't need me no more."

His voice was light, but there was something behind it. Something she couldn't even name because she'd never heard it from him before.

"That's not true."

"Sure it is, kid."

Annoyance? Frustration? Defeat? Her eyes widened. Resignation. He truly thought she didn't need him.

"No," she said. "I'll always need you."

"You managed this without me," he said. "If fact, you couldn't even make it up the driveway when we went."

Anna didn't know what to say. It could have been time that she needed, but maybe it was Steve. Maybe he really was firmly stuck in first place, maybe she really did love Steve more than anything else. Even Danny. The idea made her a little sick because, though things had vastly improved in the last few weeks, Danny was still the only person she'd always been able to rely on. She still could, there was no doubt about that, but she wasn't absolutely sure she'd always be able to rely on Steve.

Danny was her big brother, it was basically in his contract to always look out for her, but Steve did it out of love alone. She supposed that meant more, but it was scarier when she put her trust in him to do so. Which, she was just beginning to realise, is exactly what she'd done that day.

It terrified her to put that trust into Steve, but she couldn't help it. He'd been perfect that afternoon, and she loved him so damn much. Her brother would always be that person she could go to, but there was no harm in having two. And no matter what happened or who came into or left their lives, she'd always have Danny. She just hoped she'd always have Steve, too.

He stood, fiddling with his keys to get the missing key back on. "You just make sure he doesn't screw you over, okay?"

Not sure what to say, she nodded.

With a quick grin, Danny headed to where Mary-Louise was waiting. Snaking an arm around her shoulders, he leaned down to whisper something in her ear as he walked them out of the Dingo.

She had always had trouble figuring out how Danny managed to score so many girls, but now she thought she might get it. To her, he had always just been her older brother who divided his time between being annoying, a hood, and a pain in the ass. He was always there for her, but he was also always fighting and stealing and joining in on bull sessions that she didn't need or want to hear about.

Left alone, Anna headed to the bathroom. Danny's reaction hadn't been what she'd expected and she didn't know what to think. She'd expected him to be pissed off that she'd gone there with Steve, but not that she'd gone without him. He hadn't seemed pissed off about anything other than catching her kissing Steve. In fact, when it came to her going to Grandpa Joe's without him, he'd seemed more unhappy than anything.

And that's how she got it, because she always knew he cared, and if he was that open to Mary Louise then it was no wonder the girl kept hanging around.

Washing her hands, she decided to let it go. She'd always need Danny, no matter what he seemed to think.

Leaving the bathroom, she stopped at the sight of Henry waiting for her. He hadn't spoken to her since the night he'd kissed her, and she'd really prefer to keep it that way. She knew she might have just hurt him more by letting it happen, but he had to have known she was drunk. It had been more than obvious how wasted she'd been.

"What do you want?"

"I want to apologise," he said. "For real this time."

Anna shook her head. "That's probably not a good idea. I don't know what your problem's been lately, but I know you. I know you're a nice guy, and despite everything that's happened, I don't want Steve kicking your ass again."

"Look, I was angry, okay? Actually, I was really pissed off, and I took it out on you." He paused a moment. "I should've done that. You're might be the reason I was so angry, but I still shouldn't've treated you like that."

He seemed sincere. He wasn't looking at her with that hint of malice he'd had for the last few months. Anna sighed. What she'd said was true; she knew Henry, and she knew that the only reason he'd been messing with her was because of what she'd done. She knew she'd hurt him, but if he was trying to move on from all that, then she could too.

"And I shouldn't've kissed you," he continued. "Randle might've done it when we were all at Buck's that time, but this was different. Even I know nothing's gonna come between you two."

She nodded. "Thanks for saying that."

"Which brings me to my next point," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I ain't tellin' you this to cause you problems, I'm tellin' you because I still care. The last thing I want is to see you get screwed over again."

"What're you talkin' about?"

"I saw Steve outside. He's talking to Evie."

XXXXX

Steve watched Anna as she slid into the seat next to him. Their booth was taken when he'd come back inside, and he'd had to take up at one of the few free tables left. Sliding his arm along the back of her seat, he raised an eyebrow at the hand she placed on his thigh.

"Where did you disappear to?"

"I was talking to Kathy," she said, shuffling her seat closer. "Apparently Two-Bit's already tried to ruin her date twice."

"Hardly surprising." The hand on his thigh travelled a little higher. "He sure wasn't happy to see her turn up with someone else."

"Yeah, I wish they would sort themselves out." Her nails lightly scratched at the denim of his jeans and he stared at her, trying to breathe normally.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course."

He thought a moment. "You sure you weren't with Two-Bit? I know he's got some beer on him, and you're actin' … well, different."

She grinned. "I ain't drunk if that's what you're thinkin'."

"Good. Last thing I want is you feeling me up and not even realising it."

She laughed, but when she spoke she was all sarcasm. "Wow, Stevie, you're full of jokes tonight. You know, I forgot how funny you could be."

He leaned back in his chair, enjoying the warmth of her hand. "Uh-huh. Unfortunately, I didn't forget how sarcastic you are."

"That's probably a good thing. Imagine having to get used to that all over again."

He smirked. "You hungry?"

"Nope."

"You want another drink?"

"Nah."

"What do ya want?"

"I think I wanna go home."

Oh. Well, that sucked. Even with Two-Bit and Kathy not talking, and things being awkward between Sodapop and Anita, Steve was still having a good time. Being out with Anna as his girl again was something he didn't think he'd ever get sick of. But, if she wanted to go then they would go. He wasn't about to turn her down, no matter what she wanted.

Before he could say anything, she left her seat to sit in his lap. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, and she rested her forehead against his. When she spoke, she did it so quietly that he wasn't sure he heard her right.

"Think I could stay with you tonight?"

Steve vaguely wondered how many people could hear the change in his heart rate. The place was packed, and even if they couldn't hear what Anna was saying, they could surely hear that. Deciding to play it cool, he moved his hands to sit on her waist and figured he ought to be honest.

"Anna, you stay with me tonight and I ain't gonna be able to stop from touchin' you."

Sex was still something he aimed for, but didn't push for. He wanted her, so fucking badly, but he was pretty sure it all tied into that trust thing. They still weren't rushing anything, but he knew she wasn't going to sleep with him until she trusted him, and he couldn't blame her for that.

She smiled. "That's kinda what I was hoping for."

"Are you still upset?" he asked. "About earlier today, I mean?"

With her hands at the back of his neck, Anna kissed him. It was a long kiss, slow and lingering. She pulled away, saying, "This isn't like when Danny got hurt. I ain't sayin' this just because I was upset."

Fuck. It was times like this - times when he physically wanted Anna more than he had wanted anything in his life that he wished he didn't care for her so damn much. Because if he could just take her home and fuck her now that she wanted to - and not be wary of the consequences - then life would be great.

But it would be even better if he could take her home while she wanted to, and not have any consequences because it really was what she wanted. He frowned, not sure that even made sense. All he knew was that he couldn't do this - couldn't let Anna put out for the first time since getting back together - if she wasn't sure.

She seemed to read his mind, and pulled her head back. "Steve, I want this."

"You sure?" He stared into her eyes, watching her reaction carefully.

"I saw you talking to Evie before."

His heart sank. He already knew that; he had seen her standing next to Phillips, staring out the window. She'd given him a small smile and walked away from Phillips, so he'd decided not to bring it up. Even if he had been dreading this moment.

"I didn't want to," he said. "But Joey doesn't stop talkin' once you get him started and there's something wrong with his radiator -"

"It's okay. Well, maybe not okay, but not as bad as I thought I would be. It's like with everything else: I don't know if it's something you've done, or if it's just time, but it's okay," she said, and he wasn't entirely sure what she meant by _everything else_. She continued before he could say anything. "You don't want her."

"No, I don't."

She licked her lips. "But you do want me?"

The hand on her back pulled her tighter. "Fuck, yes."

"Only me."

He could hear in her voice that she already knew the answer to that but needed to hear him say it.

"Only you, Anna."

She stared at him for a moment, looking nervous. "Always?"

His heart thudded, and he was pretty sure _always_ was about as close to _forever_ as they had ever been. There was a part of him that knew, without any uncertainty, that his answer would change everything. They wouldn't be back where they'd been last year, they'd be even further. What surprised him most wasn't his answer, but his willingness to give it honestly without it scaring the shit out of him.

He flirted with the hem of her blouse. "Always."

She smirked. "Because you love me, right?"

"Somethin' like that."

"I love you," she said. "More than anything else."

_More than anything else_. Then she kissed him again, deeper and heavier than before, and it was all he could do to not moan aloud.

"Let's go," she whispered against his lips.

Fuck, how could he say not say yes?

_You're my dream come true,  
__My one and only you._

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to RM for beta-reading.


	26. We Linger Alone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Strange Days" by The Doors.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX  
****Thursday, April 20****th****, 1967**

_Strange eyes fill strange rooms,  
__Voices will signal their end._

Ignoring the arguing coming from the living room, Anna tapped her pencil on the kitchen table and stared at Kathy. "So, what's goin' on with you and Two-Bit?"

Though she tensed, Kathy didn't even look up from her homework. "Nothing."

"I don't believe you."

"Why would I lie?"

Not sure how to answer, Anna continued tapping. She wasn't sure Kathy _would_ lie unless she really had to, but she couldn't come up with a single reason for why she would have to. They hadn't seen as much of each other the last few weeks, but that was due to Kathy's intense studying habits leading up to finals rather than Anna being back with Steve. And it wasn't as though Anna was going to go running to Steve, spilling whatever Kathy said about Two-Bit. She knew Kathy knew that, but Kathy was still definitely keeping something from her.

Sighing, she supposed it was really none of her business. It wasn't as though she told Kathy everything about her and Steve. All that business with her not trusting him, and her letting Henry kiss her … she hadn't told anyone about that and never planned on it. It wasn't the kind of thing she wanted to remember, nor was it the kind of thing anyone else needed to know.

And the same could be said for whatever was going on between Kathy and Two-Bit. Anna respected their privacy, and she wasn't about to pry, she just hated the idea of Kathy getting hurt … again. They'd broken up months ago, and it had seemed permanent for so long, but over the last few weeks, both she and Steve had caught them arguing or talking or standing far too close together for a couple who'd broken up under the circumstances they had.

"What about that guy you were dating then? Dave?"

"It's nothing," Kathy said, shrugging. "We went out twice and we're going to Buck's tonight, but that's it. I doubt I'll be seeing him again." She paused. "How's things with Steve?"

Anna smirked. "Disgustingly perfect."

And it was. He wanted her always, and she wanted him for just as long. As far as she was concerned, they'd always be together.

"Gross."

"Ha-ha. You know, I still wouldn't call him sweet, but he's definitely … something."

"Something close to sweet?"

Anna nodded, but frowned at the rising volume of Danny's voice. She didn't know what he was fighting with their dad about, but was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to. For the most part, their voices were low and mumbled.

"We are talking about the same Steve, right?" Kathy asked. "Steve Randle? Temperamental, broody, and cares far too much about his car."

"That's him."

Kathy leaned back in her chair, a sly smile on her face. "And you're actually calling him sweet?"

"No, I'm not calling him sweet," Anna said. "I'm calling him … what's the temperamental, broody, cares-too-much-about-his-car version of sweet?"

"I'm not sure there is one."

"Right. Well if there was one, Steve would be it."

"You know you're the only one he's always nice to, right?" Kathy asked. "I went to the DX yesterday, and he was even getting moody with Soda."

Anna couldn't keep the grin off her face. "Really?"

"Really. I know he gets annoyed with you because you have this uncanny ability to annoy him without even tryin', and I know he gets moody around you, but he never gets really pissed off with you, does he?"

He didn't. It was pretty stupid, but Anna couldn't help thinking it meant _something_. She already knew he loved her - more than anything - but his patience with her was pretty impressive. She knew she could annoy him in the most simple ways - talking too much, tapping too much, teasing too much - but he seemed to put up with all of it. She supposed it was only fair since she had to put up with his moods - even if they weren't directed at her.

"It's pretty impressive considering how furious you used to make him."

Grinning, Anna nodded. "You ain't kidding."

They were both silent as the talk from the living room got louder. Picking up her books, Kathy stood. She frowned, looking as though there was something serious she wanted to say, but her words were casual.

"I oughtta get goin'." She glanced at the kitchen doorway as a troubled-looking Danny came in. "Good luck."

Anna smiled her goodbye, and waited. Once the front door closed, Danny sighed.

"We gotta talk," he said, and headed back into the living room.

Dread filled her. She'd thought they'd just been arguing about something that they'd sort out on their own. For her to be called into the conversation meant that it really was important. The memory of Danny joking about moving out came back, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what the conversation was about.

Playing with her necklace, she walked into the living room. Her dad sat at the couch and gestured for her to sit next to him. She did so, gaze flitting between him and Danny, trying to work out what was going on.

"I got some news," her dad said.

She blinked. "Okay."

"I uh - I asked Meredith to marry me."

Anna looked at Danny again, wondering if this was really what he seemed so disturbed about. He didn't meet her gaze, just stared out the window. She looked back at her dad, smiling widely.

"That's great!"

"Yeah? You're not upset?"

Again, she glanced at Danny. "Why would I be upset?"

"Well, I know your mom's been gone a while, but she's still your mom …"

"That's not a problem."

And it really wasn't. Her mom hadn't been around for years, and those few days the year before didn't count. She'd been useless to everyone while she'd been there and hadn't done anything but hurt them all. Anna knew such bad thoughts about her own mother weren't a good thing, but she was glad to be rid of her. Plus, she liked Meredith. She was nice and fun and looked after her dad real well.

She looked at Danny again. He'd been more pissed off than anyone when their mom had turned back up, so that _can't_ have been why he was pissed off now. Turning to her dad, she did something she hadn't done in years, and leaned forward to hug him.

"I really think it's great," she said. "Meredith's great, and I can tell you guys really love each other."

Stan awkwardly patted her on the back. "Yeah. I mean, it ain't gonna happen for a while because I still gotta get a divorce from your mom, you know?"

"Sure."

"But, eventually, me and Meredith are gonna get married … and, well, Meredith's mom is sick, so I think we're gonna leave Tulsa soon."

All her breath coming out in a slow stream, Anna thought she might understand Danny's problem. Stan hadn't been the best, but he'd gotten so much better. And he was still their dad. His leaving town meant they wouldn't have any parents around. It'd just be the two of them, unless …

A sick feeling came over her. She was only seventeen, and she didn't turn eighteen for another two months. Once she turned eighteen she could work fulltime at the bakery and live on her own - or, a heart-pounding thought came to her, maybe with Steve - but until then, she was her dad's responsibility. Fighting the rushing in her ears, she paid attention as he began to speak again.

"Now, I know you don't wanna leave," he said. "And I know I ain't always been the best to you and your brother … especially you … but I'd like it if ya came."

She wouldn't go. She _couldn't_. But his words sure were nice.

"You would?"

"Yeah. But it's up to you. Me and Danny have been talking for a few days, and you can decide what you wanna do. Come with me and Meredith, or stay here with him."

She looked wildly at Danny. Was _that_ why he was so pissed off? Because he was being left to deal with her. Fighting the ache in her chest, she fidgeted on the couch.

"Well, what's Anita doing?" Not that it mattered. Anna wasn't going.

"Her dad gets out of prison in a few weeks. We're not gonna leave until then - once he's here to look after her - so she won't be coming with us," he said, looking at her.

"Right." She looked at Danny, willing him to show some indication that her staying wasn't going to be a problem for him. He stared back, waiting for her answer. Still staring at him, she said, "You know I don't wanna leave, but …"

"But what?"

She looked away. She wasn't sure if she was too stubborn or too proud, but, either way, she couldn't tell him that she hated the idea of being a nuisance to him.

Her dad stood. "I'll give you two a few minutes."

Once he was gone, Danny sat on the couch with her. "We both know you ain't gonna leave Randle," he said, "so what's your problem?"

"It's just … you're almost twenty, you know? You've got a life of your own, and a girlfriend you're kind of serious with."

"So?"

"So I don't wanna get in the way of that. The last thing you want is your seventeen-year-old sister hangin' around."

Danny sighed. "Trust me, kid, the last thing I want is you leaving."

"Really?"

"I know you don't need me anymore, but I still don't want you to go."

Her eyes widened. It had been weeks since _that_ conversation at the Dingo. With everything that had happened with Steve later that night, Danny thinking she didn't need him had kind of been pushed to the back of her mind. She supposed there wasn't any better time to assure him he was wrong.

"You know I love Steve," she said quietly, "but that doesn't change anything. All we've really got is each other, remember?"

He stared at her for a long moment before answering. "Yeah, I remember."

"You really don't want me to go?" She felt stupid asking, but she felt wonderful hearing it was true.

"Whaddya think all that yelling was about? You think I was gonna let him take you?"

Feeling traitorous tears fill her eyes, Anna did the only thing she could and turned to sarcasm.

"It's because you'd miss me, right? Because you're not sure you can live without me?"

Danny smirked. "Gotta admit, the silence that came with you leavin' sure you be nice."

"Hey! That's a big, fat lie and you know it." She grinned. "But it's okay, dear brother, I know you love me. And I know you'd miss me. A lot. In fact, with me gone, your will to live would just disappear -"

"Would you shut it?" Danny asked, ruffling her hair.

Grin fading, she stared at him. "What're we gonna do about money? I don't finish school for a while, but I'm sure my boss will give me fulltime work with Meredith leaving."

"I've been thinkin' about that, and you might not like my idea."

"What?"

"I think we ought to sell Grandpa Joe's house."

Oh. That sounded pretty much unbearable, but definitely logical. There was no reason to keep the house; it wasn't as if she was ever going to live there, seeing as she could barely go inside the damn thing. It would suck to be rid of the last real piece of Grandpa Joe, but she supposed it was time. Hanging onto the house was pointless and kind of depressing. At least getting rid of it meant never having to go there again.

"It's in our name, you know? So we can divide the money and stick it in the bank for times we really need it," Danny continued.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "Yeah, I think that might be the best idea."

"You sure? I won't do anythin' about it unless you're absolutely sure."

"I'm sure."

Going on impulse alone, she reached forward and hugged Danny. It wasn't just about Grandpa Joe. He'd been fighting to keep her with him. He knew she wouldn't want to go, and he didn't want her to, and he'd been arguing with their dad to let him keep her there. He might not admit to anything she'd said, but she knew he'd miss her if she left, and Christ she'd miss him too.

"I'm always gonna need you," she said as he hugged her back. "And if you think Steve's the only reason I've got to stay, then you're crazy."

XXXXX

The bell at the front of the store door rang, and Steve scowled. He wasn't in the mood to deal with customers; closing was in less than half an hour and he wanted to spend his time looking over the Corvair that had come in that day.

Wiping his hands on the rag he kept in his back pocket, he headed out the front, still scowling. Anna grinned at him from where she was leaning against the counter and his scowl disappeared. She looked damn good with the top two buttons of her blouse undone like that, and the way she was leaning over the counter sure was nice.

"Whaddya doin' here?" he asked, shoving the rag away.

"Not much. Just wanted to hang out."

"Here?" He smirked at her; the last time she'd wanted to hang out with him at work, his hand had found its way beneath her skirt as she sat on the hood of his car.

She blushed. "Well, not necessarily here, but with you."

"That right? I thought you had work tonight?"

"Meredith gave me the night off since I worked the last two."

"How'd you get here?" he asked as she walked around the counter.

"Oh. Danny dropped me off."

He raised an eyebrow. "Willingly?"

"Uh-huh. So, guess what?"

Throwing an arm around her shoulder, Steve led her into the garage. "You've missed me so much the last two nights that you can't bear to be away from me tonight?"

"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I'm talkin' about. My dad's getting married."

"Really?" That wasn't what he'd been expecting, but Anna seemed okay about it so he figured it was a good thing. Double checking never hurt. "That's good, right?"

"Oh, yeah. He's changed so much since being with Meredith. It's weird to think about, but he really loves her."

"Cool. So, a wedding, huh?"

"One day." Anna nodded, leaning against the Corvair. "He has to get his divorce first, and then … well, they're leaving town."

"Where're they goin'?"

She frowned. "You know, I never thought to ask …"

"You didn't ask? Seriously? Your old man's leaving town and you didn't ask where he was goin'?"

"Don't hassle me," she said. She lightly shoved his chest when he grinned. "I wasn't exactly thinking about where he was goin', I was thinking that I'm only seventeen and if he made me, I'd have to go with him."

Heart clenching, Steve stared at her.

"Don't worry," she said quickly. "I ain't goin'."

"You're not?"

She shook her head. "Danny convinced him not to make me go, and he gave me a choice; go with him, or stay here with Danny. It wasn't a hard decision."

"You're stayin' here? With Danny?"

Getting off the car she was leaning on, she made her way toward him. "And you," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he buried his face in her neck and pulled her tight against him. She smelled good, like that summery perfume she always wore. When she placed a soft kiss on his neck, he shivered, unable to believe he almost could have lost her again.

"You're definitely not goin'?"

"Not a chance," she said, and he finally felt like he could breathe properly again. "I think you might be stuck with me."

Being stuck with her sounded so damn good.

"I'm real glad you ain't goin'," he said against her neck.

"That's because you love me," she said, and he was sure he could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Sure do."

She pulled back slightly to look at him. "Buck's havin' a party tonight. Wanna go? We can blow off first period tomorrow and sleep in."

"You're brother'll kill us both if you're at a party on a school night."

Anna laughed. "He ain't in charge of me yet."

XXXXX

"Can you believe her?" Soda asked.

Steve shrugged, glancing at Anita. "She's only dancing with him."

"Yeah, but Curly Shepard? She doesn't even like the guy."

Steve vaguely remembered them making out at his birthday party the year before, but didn't mention that to Soda. "Maybe she's tryin' to make you jealous."

"With Curly? Not likely. She's told me all about him, and I know she ain't interested."

"Maybe she's interested because he's interested," Anna said pointedly.

Soda gave her a long look. "All I've ever done is be honest with her."

"Yeah, but sometimes bein' honest comes out a lot meaner than intended. Like when you point out how different she is to sweet, perfect Sandy - who, by the way, was by no means perfect - and how that was hard for you."

Steve sighed. "I really wish you two would just get along again. I almost liked it better when I thought you were datin'."

Anna smirked. "Really?"

"Well … no. But you two throwing snide remarks at each other isn't going to fix anything."

And he was sick of it. He knew they'd stopped getting along after he and Anna had broken up, but he'd hoped they'd get over that now that they were back together. But it seemed like no matter what happened, Anna and Soda always had something to snap at each other about. Usually it had something to do with Anita.

"She really told you I said that?" Soda asked.

Glancing at Steve, Anna shrugged. "It wasn't like she was complaining about you. She was just upset and needed someone to talk to."

"I don't mean to upset her, I just can't help half the things I say to her."

"Well, you should try and keep your mouth shut for now because she's coming back." Anna's words were harsh, but her voice was soft.

Running his fingers through the hair hanging at her back, Steve wished he hadn't agreed to the party. He should've just talked her into spending the night at his house, in his bed, instead. Parties were usually a good time, but when all their friends were so fucking miserable, it became unbearable.

And it wasn't just Soda and Anita who couldn't sort their shit out. Something was going on with Kathy and Two-Bit again, but no one seemed to have any clue what it was. Soda thought they might be getting back together, but Anita was sure she'd heard them fighting at school that day. When Kathy had walked into Buck's with Dave from their English class - the same Dave she'd been out with a few weeks ago - Steve figured Soda was wrong; she and Two-Bit weren't getting back together.

He leaned down to whisper in Anna's ear. "You wanna dance?"

She nodded eagerly, and Steve was pretty sure she was as sick of their friend's drama as he was.

Some stupid country song was playing, but Steve pulled her close anyway. She had decided to get a little dressed up for the party, and was wearing a blue dress that Steve kind of wanted to rip off of her. It wasn't as low-cut as he'd like, but those buttons down the front sure were inviting.

Shit, everything about her was inviting; the way she smelled, the pale skin of her neck, the way her curves brushed against him. Pressing herself against him, Anna sighed softly. He wondered if she knew what she did to him. He might love her more than anything, but that definitely wasn't all there was to it. She made him crazy, and the feel of her body flush against his own was sending him completely insane.

"Let's get out of here," he muttered into her ear.

She laughed. "It's still early."

"I don't care." And to prove this, he nipped lightly at her neck before soothing it with his tongue.

"You're such a bad influence on me."

"As if you don't like it."

She said nothing and he took it as a sign to continue. With one last kiss on her neck, he dragged his lips across her jaw. Sighing softly in his ear, she turned her head toward his, making his plan to kiss her even easier.

Hands spread over her back, he kissed her slowly, deliberately, in a way he knew she couldn't say no to. He wanted to take her home. He'd had enough of hanging out with their friends, and he'd hardly spent time with her in days. All he wanted was to be alone with her.

She pulled back a little, breathing heavily. "Just so you know, even if Dad had said I had to go with him, and Danny had been okay with it, I wouldn't have left."

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what I would've done, but I would've found a way out of it."

Tightening his hold, Steve pressed his forehead against hers. "Doesn't matter anyway," he said, "I wouldn't've let you go."

"Promise?"

"Do anything to keep ya; you know that."

She nodded, looking over his shoulder. "We can go back to your place if you want, but we can't leave Soda and Anita here alone."

That was a good point. They'd all arrived together, and unless they both wanted to stay, Steve wouldn't leave without them.

"C'mon," he muttered. He kept an arm around Anna's shoulders as they made their way back to the table.

There was barely any room for them when they got there. Two-Bit had arrived, Bobby Miller and a couple of other Shepard boys were there - including Curly who was eagerly sitting next to an obviously uninterested Anita - and Terry Armstrong and Linda Jones were in Steve and Anna's old seats. The mood was solemn as he pulled up another two chairs.

"What's goin' on?" he asked.

Terry ran a hand through his hair. "I got drafted."

Linda burst into tears then, and Terry slid an arm around her shoulders. They were pretty quiet about their relationship, but Steve was pretty sure they'd been dating for a while, maybe even close to a year. Anna tensed next to him for a moment before getting up to sit next to Linda.

"That's terrible," she said, placing a hand on her arm.

Steve didn't say anything. He wasn't buddies with Terry like he was Soda and Two-Bit, but he liked the guy well enough. Terry was a good guy; the fact that he was going to Vietnam was a real shitty deal.

He stayed silent while the others talked about it, not sure what to say. He knew it was happening, but he'd never expected someone he knew to get drafted - or be stupid enough to enlist. He glanced at Soda and Two-Bit; if this could happen to Terry, it could happen to anyone. But, as true as that was, he doubted it. Surely life wasn't that unfair. Not after everything that had already happened with Dally and Johnny.

It was a good twenty minutes before he and Anna left. They quietly made their way to his car, Soda and Anita trailing along behind them. Everyone's good mood was gone, but at least Soda didn't seem pissed with Anita anymore … if the way he was holding her hand was anything to go by.

He looked at Anna, not used to her silence. "You okay?"

She nodded. "It's just weird to have someone we know get drafted."

"Yeah."

She glanced across the parking lot, and he followed her gaze. Danny and Mary-Louise were standing next to his car, alternating between kissing and talking quietly. He didn't have to ask to know she'd realised the same thing he had. If Terry Armstrong could get drafted, then so could anyone else.

_As we run from the day,  
__To a strange night of stone._

* * *

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Concrit is welcome :)


	27. Heart of the Saturday Night

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Blue Jeans & White T-shirts" by The Gaslight Anthem.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN  
****Sunday, May 13****th****, 1967**

_I'll love you forever if I ever love at all._

Anita's dad kind of scared Anna. He was big and tough-looking, and had more tattoos than anyone she'd ever met before. He glared a whole lot, didn't speak very much, and seemed to spend a lot of time looking over his shoulder as though waiting for someone to shove a knife in his back.

But every time he looked at Anita, he would frown slightly. Not in a bad way, but in a way that seemed as though he couldn't quite believe she was his. He'd been in jail for six years before getting out, and, though he'd seen Anita twice a year when she and Meredith visited, he hadn't spent any real time with her since she was a kid.

That small frown he would give her whenever she said something funny or smart or mature was the only thing that kept Anna from going quiet and acting nothing like herself whenever he walked into the room. Billy Mort was a million times more intimidating than Tim Shepard.

Leaving him where he was standing at the edge of the property, Anita headed toward Anna. She sat next to her on the porch, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"You okay?"

Anna nodded. "Yeah. You?"

"Of course. My dad's back; yours is about to leave town."

In less than half an hour. Though she'd known about this for weeks and been prepared for it, she still found it hard to believe. Boxes had been taking up space in the hallway, her dad had been making frustrated calls to people about the mortgage, and Danny had been making up all kinds of stupid new rules he told her she'd have to follow once their dad left. He really was funny, her brother.

The last few weeks had gone so quickly, and it was leaving day for her dad, Meredith, and Meredith's son, Alex. But what Anna found even harder to believe was that she knew she would miss her dad. Not just his decent cooking, the allowance he gave her even though she had a job, or the way he always bought her baking ingredients in the groceries.

She'd just miss him.

Staring at Danny, who was talking to Anita's dad, she shrugged. "It'll be okay. Danny's still here."

"Yeah." Anita leaned back against the steps behind them, looking more relaxed than Anna had ever seen her. "At least you'll always have Danny. Unlike my brother, he's not stupid enough to get himself locked up for too long."

Anna smirked. "He's had to promise Dad he won't get locked up at all. I don't turn eighteen for a month, and he needs to stay out of jail until then. Preferably longer, but I'm not gonna push my luck."

"What happens if he gets locked up?"

"I dunno. This isn't exactly like the Curtises, you know? The state doesn't know I'm being left with Danny, so it won't make much difference to anyone but me if he gets put away for a couple of weeks."

A small frown - one that was awfully similar to her dad's - came over Anita's face at the mention of the Curtises, but it didn't last long. That had just been another benefit of Anita's dad being around - Sodapop had stopped being the biggest thing in her life. She had her dad back, and was happy. Not over Soda, Anna was sure, but not letting him walk all over her like she had been.

"You can come stay with us whenever you like," Anita said. "Though I doubt you will; not when you could go to _him_."

Following Anita's gaze, Anna's heart thudded. Steve was heading toward them, looking so good that even Anita had noticed.

"Hey," he said. Stopping in front of them, he looked at Anita. "Soda's been askin' about you. I think he wants to see ya, but I also think your dad scares the shit out of him."

"Good." Anita smirked, but that frown was back.

Steve moved to sit next Anna on the porch steps. Not needing any encouragement, she leaned into him. His skin was hot when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, but she wasn't about to complain.

"Okay?" he asked, whispering in her ear.

She nodded. She'd miss her dad - more than she'd ever thought possible - but she'd always have Danny, and she had Steve. And maybe her thoughts were as sappy as what she had witnessed between Evie and Joey that first night.

Whatever. She loved Steve and Steve loved her. There was no real fighting, no jealousy, and no lack of trust. For once, things were good. She knew where she stood with him, and it wasn't just a relief, it was everything. And if that meant occasionally being as pathetic as Evie, then so be it. Evie wasn't a problem anymore, and Steve just proved it when Anita brought her up in conversation.

"Is Evie's family coming?" she asked.

"Nope. We had dinner with them last night and they said their goodbyes then."

Steve didn't say or do anything. His fingers continued curling a piece of Anna's hair between his fingers, and he stayed sitting where he was, relaxed against the steps behind him. He didn't tense or scoff or even sigh in frustration, and Anna was glad for it. His tensing when they'd run into Evie at school last month meant he wanted nothing more than to be away from her, and that had meant everything to Anna.

But, as far as she was concerned, his lack of reaction now meant even more. It meant Evie was just another girl. Not his ex-girlfriend, not the girl he'd cheated with, and not the girl who'd caused too many problems for them. She was just Evie; Anna's cousin.

When Meredith called out to Anita, she stood. "Be right back."

Once she was gone, Steve slipped his hand beneath the back of Anna's blouse, fingertips grazing her skin. "I was thinkin', you wanna go see Bradley this afternoon?" he asked.

Pulling her gaze away from where her dad and Danny were looking under the hood of her dad's car, she raised an eyebrow at Steve. "You even have to ask? That kid is my favourite person in the world; 'course I wanna see him."

Steve scowled. "I thought I was your favourite person in the world."

"Second favourite. Right after your super-cute little brother."

His scowl turned into a smirk. "But before Danny?"

She didn't answer, but was pretty sure the look she gave him said everything. She couldn't quite admit he was right - it seemed far too mean even if Danny didn't know about it - but Steve knew how she felt. The line didn't blur anymore. It was just him.

"Hey, Randle," Danny called. "Come take a look at this."

Steve gave her a quick kiss before getting up and heading to Danny. She watched as they both bent over the engine, talking in low voices, until a shadow fell over her. Looking up, she found her dad staring down at her. She stood, pretty sure this was as close to an emotional goodbye as they would get.

"You sure you wanna stay here with those two talkin' about cars non-stop?" he asked.

"I'm just glad Danny ain't aiming to hit Steve."

"I think he had every right to do that."

Anna fidgeted, not realising her dad knew _that_ much about what had happened with Steve. In fact, she kind of wished he didn't. It was bad enough Danny thinking the worst of Steve - she didn't need her dad doing it, too. She also really didn't need her dad knowing that much about her relationship.

"You just …" Stan paused, frowning. "If he hurts you again, you make sure you tell your brother, all right?"

"He ain't gonna hurt me."

"Make sure he looks after ya, too," Stan continued, as though he hadn't heard her.

"I will."

Silence. Really awkward silence. She supposed there wasn't really anything left to say; in the last year Stan had acknowledged his bad behaviour of the past, he'd apologised for hitting her, and he'd told her to make sure her boyfriends treated her well. She smirked; it couldn't get much more fatherly than that.

Throwing caution to the wind, she leaned forward and gave him a brief hug. He surprised her right away by hugging back, far more tightly than she'd expected. For the first time since he'd said he was leaving, she actually felt sad. She had known she would miss him, but it was just hitting her that she didn't know when she would see him again.

"I'll miss ya, kid," he said gruffly. Letting her go, he stared at her. "And not just your baking either."

She smiled. "I'll miss you, too, Dad."

XXXXX

Shoving the falling-to-pieces box to the side, Steve sighed; he was getting dust everywhere with this pointless search of the basement. He reached for the next box closest to him. They littered the floor - most of them having not been opened, touched, or looked at since his dad had put all his mom's stuff away - and Steve was pretty sure he was making paths through the thin layer of dust covering the floor.

All for a goddamn blanket.

"Have ya found it yet?" Anna called down from where she was sitting on the third step down. She wouldn't come right down with him, and though she wouldn't admit it, he was pretty sure it was because she was scared of the spider webs on the ceiling.

"Not yet. You know, you could come help me."

Silence. Then, "What're you even lookin' for?"

"Uh - a blanket." Discarding the box at his feet, he stood straight. Turning, he found her staring at him. "Um, it was one I had as a baby. I though Millie might want it for Bradley."

"Aww -"

"Shut up."

Anna stood. "Steve, that is the _sweetest_ thing I have ever heard."

"I said shut up."

"It makes me wonder, you know?" she said, coming down a few steps. "Why I didn't take you back sooner when you're so damn adorable."

"Are you finished?"

"I've changed my mind. _You_ beat out Bradley as my favourite person in the world, because this is even cuter than any drooling or fist flying he does."

Sighing, Steve made his way to the railing of the staircase. "Really? Are you finished yet?"

"Yeah, I'm done."

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" His words had no bite, and even as he said them, he wrapped his hand around her wrist and tugged. She leaned forward, and his lips met hers through a gap in the railing.

"Kathy thinks you're only ever always nice to me," she whispered when he pulled back.

"I am."

She smiled. "You want help? I can help if ya want?"

"Nah." He paused, knowing she was a little upset about her dad leaving. It was half the reason he'd suggested going to see Bradley, after all. "I'll look through one more box then we'll go whether I find it or not."

It wasn't in the next box, but Steve paused as he looked inside it. It was full of his mom's things - clothes, jewellery, perfume. He knew those boxes were down here, but all he had found so far were old table clothes, ornaments, or garden tools. Licking his suddenly dry lips, he picked up a cream coloured sweater.

It was soft to touch, softer than anything he owned, and he could remember it on her. He could remember times when she'd worn it, times when she'd hugged him while wearing it, times when he'd buried his face into the fabric of it. He swallowed, feeling a little sick.

"What is it?" Anna asked, still on the stairs.

He shoved the sweater back in the box. "Nothing."

She was silent for a few seconds, and his lie rang clear between them.

"Okay."

He hated himself for lying to her, but loved that she didn't push it. Loved _her_ for not pushing it.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?" He tore his gaze away from the sweater to look at Anna.

"I'm gonna get a drink. You want one?"

He nodded. "Thanks."

She hesitated before heading up the stairs, and he felt even worse. He knew she wasn't being nosy; she was actually interested in what he had found, probably knowing it was something of his mom's. But he couldn't tell her, not yet. It was the first piece of his mom's clothing he'd touched in years … he needed to get over that being a big deal - especially when it just shouldn't be - before he told Anna anything.

Taking one last look at the sweater, he went to close the box when something caught his gaze. It was another box with some kind of pattern printed on the top. Frowning, he tried to make the white pattern out, but it just looked like a bunch of strange shaped white lines. With his curiosity getting the best of him, he reached for the box and knew what it was the moment his fingers touched the cool porcelain.

His mom's jewellery box. He hadn't looked at this in years, and even then it was only when his mom was deciding which necklace to wear out to dinner … back when his old man hadn't been such a bastard and had treated his wife the way she had deserved to be treated. Not hearing Anna coming back yet, he slowly lifted the lid, unable to remember any of the jewellery his mom used to wear.

The necklaces were tangled, and he made a mental note to fix that at some stage. There was no gold in there, though; everything was silver, pearls, or … feathers. Steve frowned, trying to picture his mom in _those_ particular earrings, when something caught his eye. Silver with a green stone, shiny, round - his stomach dropped as he picked up the ring. It was nice, and he remembered his mom wearing it at one of her birthday parties - the coolness of it against his cheek as she held his face and kissed him happily.

He thought back to that afternoon on Soda's couch, when Anna had held his face the same way and kissed him in a much different way.

"You find it, Stevie?" Anna asked softly from the stairs.

He could tell by the nickname and her tone that she wasn't pissed he'd lied. If anything, she was worried, and it just made him hate that this was affecting him so much even more. Not knowing why or even thinking it through, Steve shoved the ring into his jeans pocket and the jewellery box back into the cardboard box.

"Nope," he said, standing. "We oughtta get goin', though. We were s'posed to be at Millie's a while ago."

XXXXX

Anna was kissing him, driving him mad with small touches and barely there presses of her body against his. Her tongue slid against his own, hinting of the banana splits Millie had made them for dessert. Digging his fingers into her hips, pulling her closer as she straddled him, he hoped like hell she never stopped what she was doing.

Her lips left his, and he muttered a hoarse curse as they travelled across his jaw, sending chills down his back. He wanted to touch her, make her as crazy as she was making him, but she was far too distracting. When her hands slipped beneath his T-Shirt and tugged it up, he could barely remember to lift his arms.

"Christ, Anna."

She smiled. "What?"

"You're drivin' me fuckin' crazy, that's what."

"That's kinda the point."

He hadn't been sure she'd want to stay with him that night. It was her and Danny's first night without their dad in town, but it didn't seem to really matter to either of them - at least not enough for them to make a big deal out of it. Anna had been strangely quiet all day, and Steve knew she was a little upset, but she hadn't wanted to stay home. Danny had plans with Mary-Louise anyway, and as Anna had said, with her dad gone, it was just like any night he'd had to work or any night he'd spent with Meredith.

That was fine. Steve didn't care what her reasons were, so long as she was okay and so long as she wanted to stay with him. Which she obviously did.

She kissed him again, placing her hands on the back of his neck and wriggling that little bit closer on his lap. He moaned softly into her mouth, still distracted, but desperate to touch her. Desperate to taste her, see her, feel every damn part of her, he released the bruising grip on her hips and went to work on her blouse.

It was harder than it should have been. With Anna kissing him the way she was, slowly caressing his bare chest the way she was, and his own hands shaking slightly, the buttons on her blouse were far too fiddly. He pulled away for a second, taking a steadying breath, before kissing her again. The breath helped, calmed him enough to finally work his way through the buttons of her blouse.

He didn't take it off her; he left it on and unbuttoned because it was one of his favourite sights. There wasn't much sexier to him than Anna, with her skirt hiked up around her waist, her blouse open so he could see the lace of her bra, and her skin flushed pink. He smirked; the only thing better was when she wasn't wearing a damn thing.

She pulled back, looking at him. "What're you smirking about?"

"Nothin'."

Lifting a hand, she ran her fingers over his lips, smoothing away the smirk. "It's only me, right?"

He kissed her fingers. "You know it is."

"Yeah. I guess I just like hearing is sometimes." There was no grin, no sarcasm, and no humour when she said it, and he knew she was serious. It had nothing to do with her ego.

He grasped her fingers. "It's always you. I know I don't say some shit as often as I should, but it's always gonna be you."

She stared at him for a moment, eyes wide and chest lifting and falling with her deep breaths. "God, Steve," she finally said, and kissed him again.

Her fingers tangled in his hair as she kissed him deeply, whimpering into his mouth, and pressing herself against him. He kissed her back just as eagerly, but he was distracting himself. It would always be Anna - he had no doubts about that - and as he kissed her, touched her, thought about always having her, the ring he'd slipped into his pocket seemed to become hot and heavy.

It scared the shit out of him, and his hands began to tremble as he skimmed them up Anna's thighs. He knew without a doubt that, one day, he'd give that ring to Anna.

_With wild hearts, blue jeans & white T-shirts._

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**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma.


	28. Cryin' for You Day and Night

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_. The song I've used for this chapter is "Child in Time" by Deep Purple, but I have taken some liberties with the lyrics. What I've used as my chapter title isn't in the original version of the song, but you will find it in some live recordings.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT  
****Wednesday, May 24****th****, 1967**

_Sweet child in time, you'll see the line._

It had been a shitty day. As far as Steve was concerned it was still a shitty day. Two-Bit, who hadn't been in a fight in weeks, had somehow managed to get his ass kicked the night before and turned up to school with a black eye and spilt lip; some idiot hadn't been careful when opening their car door at school, and Steve now had a real fucking nice dent in his passenger door; and, because of the shithead who didn't know how to open doors, the money he'd been putting away to get something nice for Anna's birthday would have to be used on his car.

Or not. Even as he thought about it he knew he'd spend the money on Anna, not his car.

But, worst of all on this shitty day, was Anna and Phillips who seemed to have some kind of friendship going on. She claimed it was nothing, and Steve _knew_ it was nothing, but he didn't like it. Phillips was a jerk - very possibly the same one who'd dented his car - and Steve didn't want him around his girl. It wasn't Anna he didn't trust; it was Phillips.

Arguing with her about it was pointless. He knew that if he really put up a fight she'd stop talking to him, but there wasn't any point. There was nothing going on, and so long as it stayed as casual conversation in the school hallways, then Steve could deal with it. He stopped and talked to Evie and Joey on occasion, so there was no harm in Anna doing the same with Phillips.

He just wished she wouldn't.

She claimed he was jealous; he told her she was crazy. And he wasn't jealous, he just didn't like some other guy - especially Henry Phillips - looking at her the way he did. Anna seemed oblivious to it as she chatted to him before spotting Steve. Then she'd said a quick goodbye to Phillips, and thrown herself in Steve's arms. He hadn't been as responsive to her hug as she'd have liked.

"What's wrong?" she had asked, pulling back.

Still glaring at Phillips, Steve shrugged. "Nothin'."

"You jealous, Stevie?" She'd been calling him that more often than she used to, but not in the teasing way she used to. There was more to it and he kind of liked it.

He shifted his glare to her. "No."

"It's called friendship," she said. "And a very tentative one at that. Nothing more."

"I ain't jealous. You're just crazy." And then he'd kissed her, long and hard and right in front of Phillips. When he pulled back, she was blushing and breathing heavily.

"Well, you can get jealous more often if it means kissin' me like that."

So maybe her _friendship_ with Phillips wasn't the worst that could happen. He hadn't liked it at the time, but it wasn't such a big deal now. He was pretty sure Phillips was just going to be one of those guys Steve never liked, and all because he'd dated Anna. It was probably stupid to Anna, but it seemed pretty reasonable to him. The more he thought about the two of them talking, the more he was almost okay with it. He had a temper, and his natural reaction was to get pissed off.

But it was hard to stay pissed off when Anna looked at him the way she did.

Pulling into his driveway, he smirked. She was obvious and he loved it. He knew she loved him, wanted him, possibly for as long as he wanted her. The ring he'd found was tucked in the back of one of his drawers. He'd use it one day, he knew that, but not until he was sure Anna wanted what he wanted. He knew how she felt, but the most they'd talked about a future was the few times _always_ had come up in conversation.

He'd always want her, she'd always love him … but would they always be together? Yes. Forever. It was so firm in his mind that he couldn't imagine not being with her again. But he wasn't sure she was there yet. He had been more into their relationship since getting back together; now, however long it took, he had to wait for her to catch up.

Pushing the car door against the strong wind, he climbed out. The weather had been crap all day, and he smirked again, remembering Anna's windblown hair when he'd dropped her off at work. She was supposed to meet him at Soda's in a couple of hours, but had said Danny would drop her off.

He headed down the path, grabbing in the mail before heading inside. Slamming the door shut, he headed to the kitchen and chucked his books on the table. He didn't even know why they had homework; graduation was in a week. And then he'd be out of there. He had fulltime work at the DX, and all he had to do was find someplace to live.

He flipped through the mail, wishing he was already gone. _Bills, bills, pay check, bills, bank statement, bills, and … _

His heart thudded as he looked at the letter addressed to him. He stared at it for a long moment, already knowing what was inside it, but not quite willing to open it yet. Opening it made it real, after all, and he wasn't ready for it to be real.

But it was real, and after ripping the envelope open, he felt sick at the words he had known he would see.

_You are hereby ordered for induction into the Armed Forces of the United States …_

He didn't see much after that. There was a time and date and location, but he closed his eyes and sat in one of the chairs. Fuck.

XXXXX

It was cold, it was windy, and it was just supposed to get worse. Anna hated the stupid weather; she wanted sun and warmth and _summer_. She wanted days lounging on the front porch with Kathy, she wanted to go swimming in the lake with Steve again, and she wanted to not be shivering at the end of May. Stupid weather.

She sighed in relief as she reached the gate to the Curtis house. Danny had dropped her off, as promised, but a couple of houses down because he'd had to stop and see Jack Hennings about something. She wasn't sure because she made a point of not getting involved in the stupid gang stuff, but she had a feeling Jack was about to get his ass kicked. Rumour had it he'd screwed up big on some job Tim had going.

The gate was banging in the wind, and she slipped through as Ponyboy came storming down the porch steps. Anna paused; he looked furious.

"Hey," she said. "Are you okay?"

He ignored her, walking right past without even glancing in her direction, and she frowned. They'd never gotten along great before - she had a feeling it had more to do with her being with Steve than anything she might have done to offend him; those two used to clash more than they should have - but he'd never outright ignored her. She wondered if he was just in one of his moods or if something had pissed him off.

Shrugging, she made her way to the open door and poked her head in. Everyone was in there - Darry, Soda, Two-Bit … Steve. She smiled and stepped inside, but her greeting died in the back of her throat as she looked at him. Something had happened, and if the look in his eyes wasn't enough to tell her, then everything else sure as hell was - Soda's wide eyes when he saw her; Darry's pacing that quickly stopped; and Two-Bit, who was sitting on the couch, head in hands, and not saying a damn word. That in itself was enough to make her worry.

But then Steve … her heart thudded at the forced way he said her name. Something was wrong. Only once had any of his friends looked at her the way they were now; as though something was happening and, though she was going to hate it, she had no control over it.

"What's going on?" she asked, quietly.

Two-Bit stood then. Without a word or a glance in her direction, he pushed his way out the front door. She stared after him. The only time she'd seen him look like that was after he and Kathy had broken up for good.

Steve stepped towards her. "We need to talk. Let's go outside."

"It's terrible weather outside."

"I know, but we really need to talk."

Trying not to let her voice shake, Anna spoke. "I don't think I want to -"

Steve grabbed a hold of both her wrists and said her name. It was only then - when he was touching her and she could feel the roughness of the paper - that she noticed the rumpled letter in his hands. She looked down, unable to make out what it was or if it was of any importance. She had a feeling it was. A sick feeling came over her as she stared down at it.

"It's my draft letter," Steve said in the soft voice that might have been what she'd originally fallen for.

His words rang clear in her head, but she couldn't quite make any meaning of them. She knew what they meant, but fully understanding them seemed … impossible. If she didn't understand then they didn't have to be true …

There was an ache in her chest - a far too familiar ache that she hated - and she thought for certain that she was going to be sick. It was his draft letter, and, despite her attempts, she understood all too well what that meant. Taking a deep breath to calm her beating heart and twisting stomach - so much beating and twisting that it actually hurt - she looked at Steve. She wanted to tell him - no, _beg_ him - to say he was joking, lying, _anything_. She simply wanted him to say it wasn't true.

She licked her dry lips. "Just tell them you can't go."

It sounded simple enough. Call them up and explain that his girlfriend wanted him to stay home. They had gone through too much damn to get each other, and having him leave now would just be unfair. People fell in love every day; they had to understand.

Too bad life wasn't that easy. Too bad that it wouldn't work. Too damn bad that she loved him.

Steve was staring at her, his blue eyes looking at her so damn intently. She looked away; it wasn't often that he had every emotion he was feeling written all over his face, but he did right then. Only problem was that there were so many she was having a hard time distinguishing all but one of them. The worst one. The one she wasn't sure she could bear to look at.

"Anna -"

"Please?" She met his gaze again, sounding pathetic. Her voice was choked, and the look in his eyes was killing her.

Darry spoke up from where he was watching them. "I'm gonna call everyone I can," he said. "I don't care what it takes, we'll sort this out."

A look of resignation came over Steve's face. He looked away from her and it was as though he already knew that it wouldn't matter how many people Darry talked to; he would have to go, there was nothing they could do, he would have to go to war.

… _There was nothing they could do, he would have to go to war_. War - where people killed and got killed; where Terry Armstrong had gone just a few days ago, missing his graduation and leaving his girl behind; where Steve was _going_ …

The realisation hit Anna hard, and everything hurt. Her stomach clenched, her head throbbed, and everything else ached. She couldn't stand to stay there - not with Soda looking as distressed as he was, not with Darry already calling people, and especially not with Steve refusing to meet her gaze. So she did the only thing she could think of - the one thing she hadn't done in so long.

She ran.

Yanking herself out of Steve's grip, she turned to the open door and ran. Away from the Curtis house, away from Steve's friends who had already lost so much, and away from Steve and his stupid letter. After finding out about Terry, she had been worried about Danny, but had never once thought Steve would have to go. Never once thought he would be taken away from her again. But now …

Of course, she only made it out the gate before Steve caught her. Hand around her wrist, he held tighter than he usually would have. She didn't struggle; she looked at him through the hair blowing in her face. His damn hair was still perfect, his face was turned into it's usual scowl, and his eyes …

"Stop," he said, raising his voice to be heard.

Pulling her wrist free, she turned away from him. She didn't run off again, but she walked out the gate, the heels of her hands pressed against her forehead. She couldn't look at him; couldn't look in his eyes and see that he was _scared_. He had every right to be scared, she knew that, but seeing it for herself … it made her blood run cold. She had never seen Steve scared before. Every other emotion - angry, happy, hurt - but never scared. And it terrified her.

"Damn it, Anna," he yelled, following her. "I'm fucking sick of chasing you whenever something happens."

She whirled around to face him. "You're not even going to try, are you?"

He was silent, staring at her with that resigned look again.

"Darry is in there, probably calling places all over the damn country - which is going to wreck havoc on his phone bill - to try and get you out of this," she yelled, pointing back at the house. "But you've already accepted that you're going. You're not even going to try and find a way out of this, are you?"

"There is no way out of this!"

"That's crap! Of course there's a way out, you just have to be willing to figure it out. To think about things and _try_."

He glared at her. "I have thought about things. It's all I've been doing and there's nothing, Anna! Not a fucking thing!"

Her lip trembled, and sudden tears formed in her eyes at the knowing in his voice. He knew the score, and she was being an idiot. Everything he was saying was true, but she didn't want to accept it. Wiping her hands over her face, she pushed her hair back and let out a half-sob.

"Hey." Steve's voice was soft through the wind. "Let's go somewhere."

"What?"

"I don't want to argue with you in the middle of the street." He paused. "I don't want to argue with you at all, okay? Let's just go somewhere else? Please?"

This time it was a full blown sob that came out. "I'm sorry."

Steve stepped forward and quickly kissed her forehead. "Let's get out of here."

XXXXX

He didn't know anything - what to do, what to think, where to go. His mind was a huge fucking mess, and strangely enough, Anna being upset helped. He couldn't sort out his own shit right then, but he could help her. He'd always been able to help her, and this wasn't going to be any different. He'd help Anna - not that he knew how this time - and then he'd sort himself out later.

Pulling up to a spot at the lake, he parked his car. When he turned off the engine, howling wind was all he could hear, and he hated it. He took a breath, looking around the place he and Anna had spent hours making out. He wished it was just like any other time; that he would kiss Anna and everything would be okay.

Anna. He looked at her, surprised at just how pale she was. He reached forward, intent on pulling her close.

"I don't feel so good," she choked out, before throwing the door open and stumbling out.

Steve went out his own door, and headed around to her side of the car. She was bent over slightly, one hand resting on his car, the other on her stomach, but she wasn't sick. Her breath was coming in low, deep mouthfuls that seemed to be calming her. Just in case, he stepped behind her and gathered her hair in his hands.

"I'm okay."

"You sure?"

She stood straight. "Yeah. I'm sorry for getting so upset. You're the one who …"

Letting her hair flow through his fingers, he stepped closer and placed his hands on her hips. She still wasn't facing him, but he couldn't let it go on like this. He didn't know what he'd say or do - because there was nothing that would make this better - but he had to try. It was pointless to try and get out of being drafted, but he had to try and make Anna okay. She was his girl; he needed her to be okay.

"This isn't how it was supposed to happen," she said.

Steve sighed. Wrapping his arms right around her, he rested his chin on her shoulder. Her whole body was shaking, and he hated it.

"I know."

She turned in his arms. "This isn't how it was supposed to happen," she said again. "I love you, and you love me, and we've finally got our shit sorted. We're supposed to be together forever."

There it was. _Forever_. It was what he'd been waiting for, but now … well, now it was so fucking unfair.

He pressed his forehead to hers. "I know, and we will be, okay?"

She was silent a moment, and the fight inside of her was obvious. She was trying not to cry, trying to be strong, trying to fake optimism without actually speaking. All for him. He realised that suddenly, and wasn't sure what to think. He appreciated it, but she didn't need to do it. He'd sort himself out later. He was glad she wasn't crying, though. He hated when she cried.

"Everything will be okay," she said, voice firmer than he'd expected.

"It will."

"Just … promise me, Steve. Promise me we'll be together forever."

Any other time and she would've been making him promise that he really did want her forever. She either knew it, or was too upset to really think it through. He was pretty sure she knew; he was hardly closed off with his feelings these days.

"I promise."

And because he meant it, because he was leaving her, and because he couldn't stand to wait another goddamn second, he kissed her. He kissed her and kissed her until he was sure she believed him. Then, hidden away in the backseat of his car, he kissed her and touched her and didn't let her go until he was sure she'd never forget him.

XXXXX

"I'll be back later."

"You promise?"

"Yeah," he said, smirking. "I gotta go see the guys, but I'll be back."

She nodded. "Okay." But she didn't move to get out of the car; she didn't want to leave him, not for a second.

"I'll be back. I swear." He leaned over, kissing her softly.

"Okay." Her lip trembled, and she fought tears _again_. She'd been fighting them since leaving Soda's, and had done a pretty damn good job. She was hurting, and wanted to cry so damn badly, but she wouldn't. Not in front of Steve. The last thing he needed was to see her _that_ upset. He had plenty enough to worry about without dealing with her.

He kissed her forehead. "Don't cry, okay? Just … don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."

She nodded again, blinking the tears away. "I'm fine. I ain't gonna cry. I'll see you later, okay?"

Climbing out of the car before he could answer, she ran inside. She slammed the door closed, breathing heavily. She felt sick, and as she leaned her back against the front door, she slid down and buried her face in her hands. It wasn't fair. In fact, it was so damn unfair she could barely believe it. More tears formed, and she pressed the heel of her hands against her eyelids. Bright colours burst against the black, but the tears stayed in.

"Anna?"

Danny was standing in front of her, but she said nothing. Taking a breath, she tried to calm herself. She didn't need him jumping to conclusions about why she was so upset. Not when she knew exactly what conclusions he'd jump to. Wiping her hands over her face, she looked at him as he crouched down.

"What happened, kid?" he asked, looking at her intently.

She burst into tears. After pushing them back all night, she couldn't help but let them escape when Danny sounded so sincere. He wasn't scowling, he wasn't cursing, and - most surprisingly and importantly - he didn't ask what Steve had done wrong this time. He was looking at her in concern, and he just … cared.

Still sitting against the door with her knees pulled up to her chest, she didn't pull away when Danny sat with her. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight, and let her cry. And just as she'd done when Steve had cheated, she leaned into him. Steve was leaving, and she had tried to be strong for him all night, but Danny was once again the one person she could always rely on to be there.

XXXXX

He'd barely thought about the guys since Anna had turned up, but he remembered well enough. Ponyboy had taken it far worse than he'd thought. He and Steve had been getting along well enough lately, but his anger about the letter was still a shock. The only bigger shock had been Two-Bit, who had gone completely silent for a long while before taking off. Darry and Soda had reacted as Steve had expected … not that that was a good thing.

"Hey, man," he said, walking up the front path of the Curtises'.

Soda looked up from where he was sitting on the porch steps. It didn't escape Steve's notice that he was smoking.

"Hey. How's Anna?"

Steve shrugged and sat next to him. "'Bout as good as can be."

After her words at the lake, and the way she had touched him, kissed him, looked at him in the backseat of his car, he knew that she loved him more than he'd even realised. It was good, but so damn hard.

"Here." Soda handed him a lit cigarette.

"Thanks. Pony come back yet?"

"Yeah. He's still pretty shaken up, but I think he just needed a few hours to deal with it."

"What about Two-Bit?" He was really fucking worried about Two-Bit.

"I ain't seen him, but I called Kathy and let her know. Just in case he turns up there drunk off his face. At least if she knows then she won't throw him out."

"Good." He hoped Kathy had the sense to stay home and wait for Two-Bit rather than go to Anna's. He'd made sure Danny's car was in the driveway before dropping her off, and right then, Two-Bit would need Kathy more than Anna did.

He also hoped Two-Bit ended up at Kathy's rather than drunk in a gutter, beaten, or both.

"You know …" Soda paused for a second. "You know we'll look out for her, right?"

There was a tight feeling in his chest, and Steve nodded. He was going to war, and his best friend promising to look out for the girl he loved was doing what that damn letter should have. First he'd had to let it sink in, then he'd had to tell the guys, then he'd had to be there for Anna. Now, all he had to do was deal. And it was harder than he'd thought.

He didn't want to go. Not just because he was leaving his buddies, his brother, and his girl, but because it was _war_. He knew the kind of things that went on over there, and he wanted nothing to do with it. The fact that what he knew probably wasn't even half as bad as it really was sure didn't help.

They were silent for a few minutes. His chest was still aching, and his hands shook ever so slightly. Looking at Soda, he noticed his hands were doing the same.

"Hey, I finally asked Anita out," Soda said.

"About time, buddy."

"Yeah, she seemed real pleased."

Steve was pleased, too.

"What time you goin' back to Anna's?" Soda asked, stubbing out his smoke.

Steve shrugged. "Later." He didn't mean for it to come out as uncaring as it did. In truth, he couldn't wait to get back to Anna, but for the time being, he was content being with Soda.

Soda handed him another cigarette as Steve finished his first, but said nothing. Neither of them said much of anything for the next few hours. They sat on the porch steps, chain-smoking and making the occasional joke about something stupid, until it hit midnight and Steve left to go get Anna.

_The line that's drawn between the good and bad._

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**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Happy good fic day!


	29. If You can Hold On

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "All these Things that I've Done" by The Killers.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE  
****Friday, May 26****th****, 1967**

_Yeah, you know you got to help me out,  
__Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner._

Steve wasn't sure his hands had stopped shaking since sitting on the porch with Soda Wednesday night. The constant tremor that ran through them was distracting and stupid, and he was just glad no one else seemed to have noticed. And with how hard Anna had been gripping his hand lately, that was surprising.

Sighing, he ran his palms over the denim of his jeans. His first class would begin in a few minutes, and he had yet to climb out of his car. Rain pelted on the roof, and he was tempted to start the damn thing back up and just ditch the whole day. Only that wouldn't be any fun on his own, and both Two-Bit and Anna were in already in the building.

Not that he really felt like being around either of them. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Two-Bit hadn't said a word about the letter and Steve didn't expect him to, but it was sitting silently between them and it made things hard. It was constantly on both their minds, but neither of them were willing to talk to the other about it.

And Anna. Well he always wanted to be around Anna, he just wasn't sure it was such a good idea. Maybe that's why he'd told her he was staying at Soda's the night before, why he'd said he wouldn't be able to give her a ride to school, and why he planned on ditching her at lunch. It wasn't a cool thing to do - in fact he knew it was outright mean - but until he decided what to do about her, staying away was all he _could_ do.

Surprisingly enough, he had had slept perfectly the night he got the letter. It seemed unlikely he would get any sleep, but after the stress of the night, and his somewhat insatiable girlfriend, he had been exhausted. He fell asleep with her next to him, and didn't wake until his alarm went off five hours later.

But the new day brought way too many problems with it. He thought it couldn't get any worse than getting his draft letter, but then he realised just how much he had to do. He had to tell his dad - who probably wouldn't care one way or the other; he had to tell Millie - who he was pretty sure might even cry; and, in a month, he had to say goodbye. To everyone.

At that realisation, he had barely slept the night before, spending most of his time wishing he hadn't lied to Anna and that she was with him. Instead he had spent the night alone in his own bed, dreading everything to come.

Because then there was everything that would happen after saying goodbye. He didn't even want to think about that stuff. Hell, he wasn't sure he _could_ think about that stuff. With the glimpses of Vietnam he occasionally saw on the news, he didn't think his imagination would stretch far enough to be able to think about it. It would be bad, though; that he knew for sure.

The sick feeling that had become familiar over the last day and a half hurried back as he once again realised he might actually have to _kill_ someone. At that, he decided heading toward class wasn't such a bad idea, and that the fresh air would do him some good. Climbing out of his car, he made his way toward the school.

The one thing he _could_ think about - couldn't stop thinking about - was Anna. Despite her own claims, she was smart and she'd figure out by the end of the day that he was avoiding her. And she'd be pissed. She wanted to make the most of the next month, but he didn't really see the point, because surely they couldn't be together now. He was leaving. She'd given him a second chance, and he'd promised her forever, but there was no guarantee to that promise.

He didn't know how long forever was going to be. For all either of them knew, it could end in a month when he had to get on that bus.

Sneaking in only a few minutes late to his science class, Steve sat and continued to think about Anna. His mind was full of contradictions where she was concerned. He figured that if he was any kind of decent boyfriend, he'd do the unselfish thing and let her go. The last fourteen months had been bad for her - her grandpa had died; her mom had taken off again; he'd been a lousy, piece of shit, cheating boyfriend; her brother had been shot, nearly dying; and her dad had left town.

That was one hell of a list when he thought it all through, and she deserved to not spend the next year worrying about him - deserved to be free to move on if she wanted to. But he knew that, in a way, that in itself was selfish and would do nothing but ease his guilt. Anna didn't want to be free to do anything but wait for him. She hadn't said it, but he knew it. Breaking up with her now would just hurt her and that was selfish.

Or maybe he was just a selfish jerk. He couldn't stand to go through the next month without her, and he hated the idea of her moving on. Letting her go might be the _right_ thing to do, but just the idea of it felt so damn wrong. Nevertheless, he wasn't sure he could let her sit around and wait for him. That was just bullshit, especially when he might not even come back.

He pushed that thought away, not wanting to deal with it.

Still undecided, but knowing deep down he couldn't let her go, he began taking notes. He couldn't let her go, but distancing himself might make saying goodbye - for however long - that bit easer. For both of them.

XXXXX

Sliding into her seat next to Steve, Anna watched him avoid her gaze. She frowned. He'd been quiet yesterday morning on the way to school, he'd barely spoken to her at lunch yesterday, and he'd decided to spend last night at Soda's instead of with her. She could understand all that - she'd hardly spoken herself yesterday, and she wasn't the kind of girlfriend who insisted her boyfriend spend all his time with her. Especially not when she knew how close he and Soda were.

But when she found out he hadn't spent the night at Soda's at all, when he'd said he was unable to pick her up for school but had only arrived a few minutes after her, and when he had pretended not to see her in the halls between first and second period … well, she became a bit less understanding.

Now that he wouldn't even look at her, she became worried. Opening her history notes - though not sure why she was bothering when they were to graduate next week - she turned to Steve.

"Is everything okay?" she asked quietly.

He gave her a half-glance. "Yeah."

"How was your night?"

"It was fine … just hung out with Soda."

Anna's stomach dropped at the fact that he was lying to her. Two-Bit, who _had_ stayed at Soda's last night, had asked her that morning why she wasn't arriving with Steve. He'd seemed to be under the impression that Steve had stayed with Anna.

Leaning back in her seat, she fiddled with her necklace. "Right."

This was strange and completely unlike Steve. She couldn't remember the last time he'd been this indifferent to her, and after the way he'd acted the night he got his letter, it was shocking.

It hurt just thinking about that night. Even after Steve had dropped her at home nothing had been good. Telling Danny what had happened - not managing more than a 'he got drafted' that came out full of broken sobs - was tough. Saying it aloud was a shitty feeling. And after that she'd just been pathetic; crying all over Danny, not eating any of the dinner he'd cooked, sulking in her bedroom when Mary Louise turned up. The scalding hot shower she took did nothing to make her feel any better, and neither did the baking she attempted, or Danny's efforts at conversation.

It wasn't until Steve finally turned back up that she was able to somewhat relax again. Without any glares or snide comments from Danny, Anna had left home a little after midnight to spend the night with her boyfriend.

She blushed at the memory of how she'd acted. When they'd been together in the back of his car, it had been intense and frantic and needy, but when they'd arrived at his house, she'd seemed to lose all self-control. Touching him, kissing him, breathing in his scent - it was never enough. She'd been exhausted by the time they'd finished, but it had still been hours before sleep had come.

The same thing had happened the night before only without the sex with Steve. She'd spent the night in her own bed, incredibly lonely, and unable to sleep. She'd finally fallen asleep sometime close to 3am, but even then she had continued to toss and turn.

She hated to think of what tonight would bring with Steve apparently doing his best to not be around her. Even more, she hated to think of Steve having the same problem. He wasn't much for talking or sharing his feelings, and the idea of him dealing with this alone killed her.

Looking down at her history notes, she pretended to read through them. All should could think about was Steve; he was leaving in a month, he was ignoring her, he was lying to her. Instead of spending their shared class trying to make her blush like he normally did, he had almost turned his back to her. She pushed tears back, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

Finally, after what felt like hours of silence between them, the bell rang. She picked up her books, before walking out the classroom with Steve. There, in the middle of the hallway, he paused and finally looked at her.

"I uh - I said I'd meet Two-Bit for lunch."

"Okay."

He nodded. "So I'll just meet you at my car after school? I'll give ya a ride home."

Oh. So that hadn't been an invitation to have lunch with both he and Two-Bit. Feeling like an idiot, she nodded. "Sure. See you after school."

He took off without another word.

XXXXX

Hands clenching the edge of the sink, Anna stared at her reflection; she was a goddamn mess. Eyes red and puffy, cheeks pale, and dark hair hanging lifeless around her face. Sifting through Kathy's purse, she pulled out everything she could find. Steve had promised her a ride home from school, and she was supposed to meet him in a few minutes. The last thing she needed was to look like she did.

Problem was, she was as much a mess inside as she was outside. Leaning forward, she tried to steady the shaking of her hands as she reapplied some eyeliner. If she could at least make herself look okay, then she could fake being okay. She'd done it for years, and even though Steve generally saw right through her, she was sure she could do it again. Maybe.

It was unlikely, but she'd try anyway.

"I've been sleeping with Two-Bit," Kathy said, from where she was perched on the counter, back against the mirror.

Anna paused, eyeliner pencil halfway to her face. "What?"

"I've been sleeping with Two-Bit."

"Um …" Realising how stupid she must look with one eye made up, Anna hurriedly fixed up the other before looking back at Kathy. "Since when?"

"The night I first went out with Dave," Kathy said, picking up her nail file. "I just … it was the first time he'd acted like he cared since before that day at Steve's, and I couldn't help myself. I missed him so much, and I went to see him that night, and …"

"And you slept together. Wow." She realised this must have been what Kathy had seemed so distant lately. The easiest way to keep a secret from your best friend was to not see them.

"Yeah."

"Does this mean you're getting back together?"

"No. Getting back together would just be … well, a huge mistake."

That was a good point. Despite wanting to see Kathy and Two-Bit together and happy, Anna wasn't sure it would happen anytime soon - if ever. She had a feeling that after the fight they'd had at Steve's, it would take a lot for either of them to be willing to get back together.

And maybe Steve being drafted was it.

"Did you see him the other night?" she asked. "After he took off from Soda's?"

"Yeah. He turned up late that night, completely wasted. For once I couldn't find it in myself to be even a little bit annoyed."

Anna said nothing. There wasn't anything she could say about what had happened, and she was just grateful to Soda for having called Kathy. Not only had Two-Bit obviously needed her, but the idea of telling Kathy what had happened made her feel sick. It had been hard enough telling Danny.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked, digging around for some lip-gloss. "I mean, with the whole pregnancy scare, is this … casual-sex thing a smart move?"

Kathy stopped filing her nails for a moment. "Probably not," she admitted. "But it's a whole lot easier than being with him. And a whole lot easier than not being with him."

Sighing, Anna dropped the lip-gloss back into Kathy's purse. "Sounds complicated."

"Isn't it always?"

"I s'pose you've got a point there."

After pulling out a dark blue ribbon, Anna tied her hair up and was ready to go. Kathy slipped off the counter, and they made their way into the almost empty hallway. Glancing through the books in her arms, Anna paused.

"You go ahead. I need a different book from my locker."

"You sure?" Kathy asked. "I don't mind waiting."

"It's fine. Steve'll be waiting for me outside anyway."

Nodding, Kathy took a few steps in the direction of the door. "Okay. Call me if you need anything."

Anna smiled her thanks before hurrying toward her locker. In one way, she couldn't believe Kathy and Two-Bit were sleeping together, but a part of her wasn't even surprised; they couldn't seem to stay away from each other. An even bigger part of her was just glad to have something distracting to think about. Not that it did a very good job.

History book dumped in her locker and English book pulled out, she turned and headed toward the doors. For once, thinking about Two-Bit and Kathy and their chaotic relationship was a relief, but it didn't last long. No matter the distraction, her mind constantly went back to Steve and that letter. She wished so much that it hadn't ever come.

She opened the large doors to the back parking lot, eyes searching for Steve's car. The parking lot was emptying fast due to the rain, and she paused for a moment. It wasn't until her gaze met the exit that she saw Steve's car leaving. She frowned; she wasn't even late. And, hell, even if she was late it wasn't like Steve to just leave her. Although, after the way he'd been acting and his lie about staying at Soda's, maybe she should've expected this. She sighed; it was just a shitty end to the last two days.

Kathy's car was no where to be seen, Two-Bit's car wasn't working so he was probably with Steve, and the people who were still around weren't people she knew well enough to ask for a ride home. She glanced at the bus just as it pulled away from the curb.

"Well shit," she muttered. She sat herself down on the top step, the only place she could sit without getting wet.

She had no way home. Steve had stranded her at school and she couldn't even begin to understand why. If he thought she had left with Kathy then it might make sense, but Kathy's car was already gone when Anna came out from the school. Steve would have seen her leave and known Anna wasn't with her. She didn't want to be pissed at him, not with everything that was going on, but this was just bullshit.

She looked up when Henry came to stand next to her.

"Whaddya doin' here alone?" he asked.

"I dunno. I mean, Steve said he'd give me a ride home, but he just … left."

"Without you?"

"Yeah."

Henry scratched the back of his neck, and she knew he was trying to be nice. "Uh, you guys have a fight or somethin'?"

"Not that I know of …" Except maybe they had and she really just didn't know it. Steve had ditched her at lunch, he had lied about where he slept the night before so he wouldn't have to be with her, and now he'd just left her.

She should be angry. Furious, even. But with the arrival of Steve's letter and the idea of him leaving in a month, all she could manage was to be upset. She fought back tears as best she could, but her lips still trembled.

"Oh, hey.' Henry sat next to her. He started to put his arm around her, but seemed to think better of it and patted her shoulder instead. "I'm sure it'll be okay."

Wiping away the few tears that escaped before Henry could see them, she shook her head. "He's leaving soon. He shouldn't be treatin' me like this, but he's been avoiding me all day."

"Leavin'? Where's he goin'?"

Anna glanced at him and spoke quietly. "Vietnam. He got drafted the other day."

"Shit."

There wasn't much more to say than that. Sitting on the top step, they were silent for a while and Anna was glad for the company. She would have preferred Kathy or Two-Bit, or hey, even Steve, but Henry was good enough. He'd been good to her when they'd been together, and their slowly growing friendship had been going well. After Kathy, Two-Bit, and Steve, there probably wasn't anyone else in the school she'd feel comfortable spilling her guts to.

"Listen," he said. "I ain't Randle's biggest fan, you know that, but maybe he's doin' this because he's goin' away."

"What do you mean?"

"Terry tried to do the same to Linda about a week before he left. Seemed to think it'd be easier on her to break up now."

"What? As opposed to when he got back?"

"As opposed to if he didn't come back."

Feeling sick, Anna nodded. After the way Steve had touched her the night he got his letter, she thought what Henry was saying had to be the only explanation. If it was, then Steve was a damn idiot.

"You want a ride?" Henry asked. "I can drop you off at Randle's."

She nodded. "Thanks."

XXXXX

Steve wasn't surprised to see Anna turn up, but he was surprised to see Henry Phillips dropping her off. Opening the car door to climb out, she paused for a moment, listening to whatever Phillips was saying. Sitting on the top porch step, just out of the rain, Steve's fingers clenched. He couldn't fucking stand that guy.

Anna slammed the car door closed and made her way up to him. Looking at the ground, he was glad his old man wasn't home; he wasn't sure this conversation with Anna would go well, and he didn't need an audience for it.

"Where were you?" Anna asked, standing right in front of him.

He looked up, not missing how tired and hurt she looked. Having her standing in the rain just made it even worse. He almost gave in, but then Phillips' car roared down the street.

"You couldn't get a ride home with anyone else?"

"Well, there was this one guy who promised to give me a ride, but for some reason he decided to take off without me."

Feeling like an asshole for the tenth time that day, he sighed, but said nothing.

"Where were you," she asked again.

"I guess I've been avoiding you." And with that, his decision was made.

"Yeah, I picked up on that. What I can't figure out is why."

"I've been thinkin' about us all day. About how maybe we should break up."

She was silent, staring at him with a small frown on her face. "And what did you decide?" she finally asked.

Steve just shrugged. "That maybe we should face facts. That you shouldn't have to spend the next year worrying about me. That I'm a selfish bastard."

"And an idiot."

He looked at her. "And an idiot," he agreed.

Still standing in the rain, looking like a beautiful mess with her hair coming out of the ribbon and hanging around her face, she stared him down.

"Well are you going to do it? Do you actually want to break up with me? Or is this some stupid thing where you try and tell me you don't want to hold me back, and that I should move on with my life? Just in case."

"Maybe you should."

He wasn't trying to be noble or any shit like that. He _was_ facing facts. And the fact was that there was no guarantee of anything. It scared the shit out of him, and if it scared him senseless, then he couldn't imagine how it would be for Anna if it actually happened. He'd made his decision to be honest and see what she said. He didn't want to break up with her, but he had to at least give her the chance to walk away.

She shook her head, eyes flashing. "Don't pull that shit with me, Steve Randle. I'm not some … some _puppy_ you can give away in case you don't come back! I'm your girlfriend, and you don't get to dump me just because you decide to. You worked too damn hard to get me back, and I'm not about to let you just dump me for no good reason. If you don't love me, if you don't want to be with me, then fine. Do it. But don't make up bullshit excuses."

"It's not an excuse, Anna, it's a fucking reality!" He grabbed her wrist, tugging her closer. "I might not come back, and this is the only out I'm giving you."

"I don't want an out, you idiot." She dropped to her knees a couple of steps below him. "Shit, Steve, I know what might happen over there, okay? _I know_. And it doesn't change how I feel about you or how long I want to be with you. I'm not letting you go through this next month alone, I'm gonna be here when you get back, and - and I don't want you to break up with me."

She sounded so close to tears that he hated himself. Pushing her wet hair away from her face, he lowered his legs so she was in between them rather than in front.

"I ain't gonna dump you," he said. "I'm a selfish bastard, remember? It's not fair to you, but I want you for the next month, I want you to wait for me, and I want to come back and be with you."

"And I _want_ to be here. I _will_ be here."

He pulled her face closer. "I am an idiot. I never wanted to break up, I just thought … I hate the idea of you hurting."

"I know. I knew this was all because you were goin' away. That you were tryin' to end things now so it wouldn't be so bad if …" She trailed off, but he knew what she couldn't say. He turned the conversation around.

"How'd you know?"

"Henry. He said Terry tried to do the same thing to Linda before he left."

Saying nothing, Steve decided that maybe he didn't hate Phillips so much after all. He wasn't sure how this conversation would have gone if Anna hadn't known what he was doing. He had a feeling it would have ended the same, but there would have been a whole lot more yelling and cussing in between.

"If I wanted to be free, I'd go," she said, staring into his eyes. "But I don't. I want to be yours."

Hugging her tightly, Steve wasn't sure he'd ever loved her more.

_I got soul,  
__But I'm not a soldier._

* * *

**A/N:** Beta'd by RileysMomma. Updated a few days early because I really appreciate all the reviews you guys have given me :)


	30. Tumble and Fall

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King.

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY  
****Friday, June 23rd****, 1967**

_When the night has come, and the land is dark,  
__And the moon is the only light we'll see._

For the third time in the last hour, Steve was glad he'd dragged Anna along with him. Awkwardly patting Millie's back for the fourth time, he hoped she didn't start crying for the sixth time. Other than Anna, she was the only girl he'd have to say goodbye to, and he didn't think he'd be able to stand it if Anna got this weepy.

He glanced at Anna, scowling at her smirk. She hadn't wanted to come to Millie's with him, and he could hardly blame her. He knew Millie wouldn't take it well - she was a lot more emotional since having Bradley - and making Anna come with him had been his best idea. He'd thought he wouldn't have to deal with this alone, but Millie was determined to get as many hugs out of him as she could.

She pulled back and grabbed Bradley out of Anna's arms. "Here. Just one more picture," she said.

She shoved Bradley in Steve's arms, picked up her camera, and told them both to smile. Frowning, Steve looked at his brother, surprised to see him actually smiling for the camera. He smirked, pulling his head away as the kid tried to shove his dribble-covered fist in his mouth.

"Oh, Bradley loves having his picture taken," Millie said. She'd already mentioned this more than once, but Steve figured it was a habit she'd gotten herself into. She sure liked to talk about Bradley.

Anna was outright grinning at him now. Taking one last look at his brother - who wasn't even six months old, thought his own fingers were the most interesting thing he'd seen, and who barely even knew who Steve was - he handed Bradley back to Millie.

"We really oughtta get goin'," he said.

Millie nodded. "You make sure you write, okay?"

"Sure."

She leaned forward as though to hug him again, but seemed to think better of it. Instead she turned to Anna and hugged her. Steve waited as Millie spoke quickly and quietly into Anna's ear, Bradley waving his fist between them. Swallowing hard, Anna nodded and pulled back. She looked at Steve, and he knew she was as ready to go as he was.

"I'll see ya," he said. "When I get back."

Giving them both a watery smile, Millie waved Bradley's fist in goodbye. Steve closed the door behind him, letting out a heavy sigh. If that was what saying goodbye to Millie was like, he couldn't even imagine saying goodbye to Anna and the guys.

Slipping his hand into Anna's, he led them down the stairs, not speaking until they reached his car.

"If I don't come back, that kid won't even remember me."

Anna looked as though he'd slapped her, and he mentally kicked himself. He'd come out with bullshit like that too many times in the last month, and it was always Anna who heard it. She didn't need to know he thought things like that. He let her hand go and ran his own through his hair.

"Let's get out of here."

XXXXX

Standing next to kitchen table, Anna frowned. Since school ended a few weeks ago, her time had been divided between working fulltime at the bakery, and spending as much time with Steve as she possibly could. With the arrival of his letter, she was regretting the months they'd spent apart. It had been for the best, but she really wished nothing had broken them up to begin with.

And when she wasn't working or with Steve, she was either baking or sulking. The sulking was pathetic, and she tried her best to snap out of it, but the baking was … well, it was her, and at least it was practical. It kept her mind busy and the kitchen full of incredibly unhealthy food that Danny and Tim were constantly working their way through.

Pies, cakes, slices, desserts, cookies. Apple pie, blueberry pie, lemon meringue pie; chocolate cake, banana cake, carrot cake; chocolate slice, caramel slice, cocoanut slice; crumbles, trifles, cobbler; chocolate chip, shortbread, afghans …

Even she knew she'd gone overboard at times.

Throwing herself into a chair, she sighed. Covering the table was too much baking, and it wasn't keeping her sane anymore. Steve was leaving the next day, and nothing was keeping her sane. Her boss had given her the last few days off, knowing that Steve was leaving, but it wasn't helping much. Though Steve had finished at the DX and they got to spend more time together, it also gave her more time with nothing to do.

More time to bake and more time to sulk. Now that she'd covered the table in cupcakes, shortbread, and two different cheesecakes, Anna needed something to keep her busy, something to keep her from sulking again.

"Hey, kid," Danny said, coming into the kitchen with perfect timing.

"Hey."

"You doin' okay?"

"Sure."

He sat opposite her and grabbed a piece of shortbread. "You about ready to go?"

Two-Bit was having a party that night, and Anna had agreed to meet Steve there. Two-Bit said his party was for his birthday, which had been a couple of days ago, but Steve didn't entirely believe him. Both he and Soda thought it was more for Steve's benefit than Two-Bit's, but Anna disagreed. Partying was a favourite pastime of Two-Bit's, and it made sense he'd want to do it the night before his buddy left town. Not necessarily to get drunk, but maybe just to take his mind off things.

She didn't know what Steve wanted to do, but she'd quit pretending to herself that she wasn't selfish when it came to his last night in town. She wanted to spend it alone with him. No one else. Whenever someone mentioned Two-Bit's party, Steve would look at her in a way that made her think he felt the same, but he never said anything and neither did she. It was his last night in town; she might be selfish enough to want to have him to herself, but she understood she wasn't the only one who wanted to be with him.

"Yeah," she told Danny. "I just gotta fix my hair."

Danny was silent a moment, before asking in a soft voice, "What time does Randle leave tomorrow?"

For what had to be the three-hundredth time that month, she swallowed back the lump in her throat that indicated tears. "Not until three."

"You need a ride there?"

She looked at Danny in surprise. His offer wasn't surprising - he'd been doing everything he could to give her time with Steve lately - but she hadn't even thought about how she'd get to and from the bus station the following day. She was so used to going everywhere with Steve, in his car, but he wouldn't be taking it with him. In fact, he was locking it up in the garage at the DX until he got back.

As much as she teased him about giving it to her, she liked the idea of him locking it up. She might have been looking into it too much, but his locking it up so no one could drive it until he got back promised a return.

She wasn't sure a ride from Danny was a good idea, though. He'd accepted her relationship with Steve months ago, and he'd been really good about her staying at Steve's or Steve staying in her room this last month, but she was pretty sure Danny still didn't like him much. Or, maybe it wasn't so much that he didn't like him, but that he hadn't forgiven him. She could fault Danny plenty - annoying, messy, still treated her like a kid at times - but he sure was a good brother.

"You don't have to do that," she said.

"You think I trust Mathews, or any of those Curtis guys, to look after you once Randle's gone?"

"Two-Bit and Soda'll both look after me." She paused, realising what Danny was getting at. "But it would be good to have you there."

Danny was silent as he ate his cookie, and Anna didn't say anything else. She didn't have anything else to say. For someone who'd been accused many times - usually by Steve - of not being able to shut up, she'd found herself without much to say the last few weeks. Because, really, when her boyfriend was about to be shipped off to Vietnam, what was there to say?

Once again, she pushed back tears. She hadn't cried since blubbering all over Danny's T-Shirt the night Steve got his letter. After realising how worried Steve was about _her_, she'd decided against crying in front of him which had quickly turned into not crying at all. She could be as pitiful, and cry as much, as she wanted once Steve was gone.

"Anna?"

She looked at Danny. "Yeah?"

"Remember when I kicked his ass for cheating on you?" He'd never outright admitted to doing it before now, but she'd always known. She nodded. "If I could do it again - if I could kick someone's ass for doing this to you - I would."

Screw good; he was the best damn brother in the world.

A few tears fell and she quickly wiped them away, but not before he saw them. He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"C'mon, Miss B. Go do your hair and we'll go to the party. I'm sure Randle's already there waitin' for ya."

Smiling at him, she stood and went to do exactly that. Having showered, dressed for the party, and done her make-up in between putting things in and taking things out of the oven, she was almost ready. Wearing a pencil skirt she knew Steve would like, and a navy blouse, she loosely braided half her hair back and was ready to go.

Danny was waiting by the door for her, and ushered her out. They whole less-that-two-minute ride to Two-Bit's was filled with Danny talking a whole lot of nothing, but Anna appreciated it. Too much silence and she'd start thinking again, and if there was one thing both she and Danny were good at, it was filling silence.

He'd been right, though; Steve was waiting for her. The party was in full swing, and as soon as they were out of the car, Danny threw an arm around her shoulders and led her up the path and through the gate. Steve was leaning against the side of the house with Soda and Anita, gaze set on her and Danny while Soda and Anita talked.

Danny gave her shoulder a squeeze. "See ya later, kid."

She nodded, barely noticing him as she made her way toward Steve.

He kissed her right away, not bothering to say hello, and not caring about the people around them - Soda, Anita, and Danny included. Fisting his T-Shirt in her hands, she kissed him back and once again wished she had him to herself. She didn't want to spend the night with him at a _party_. He seemed to have the same idea.

"I don't wanna stay more than a few hours," he said, pulling away.

Nodding, she leaned against him when his arm went around her shoulders and pulled her close.

XXXXX

She was sick of the loud music, she was sick of the smoke-filled air, and she was sick of all the damn people. Pushing her way out of the house, Anna just wanted to go home. She wanted to be selfish for once, and drag Steve away from the party, and _just go home_. All this pretending was giving her a headache.

Pretending she was okay around Steve was one thing; pretending around everyone else was crap. The house, and the front and back yards were filled with people, and out of everyone there, only two people had made her feel as though she didn't have to pretend. Danny and, strangely enough, Evie.

With a simple smile, her cousin had made her feel better than her best friend had. She'd hardly seen Kathy in the last few weeks, and it had nothing to do with the amount of time she was spending with Steve. As outwardly unselfish as she was about Steve hanging out with his friends, she was just as sure to make sure she spent time with Kathy. Only Kathy hadn't been 'available' much lately.

It was frustrating and upsetting, but was hardly Anna's biggest problem.

Making her way around the side of the house, she sighed in relief at the lone figure sitting on the grass. There had only been two people she hadn't felt the need to pretend in front of, but she knew there was another around somewhere, and there he was. She made her way toward him, avoiding empty beer bottles and the occasional bottle of something stronger.

"Hey, kid," Two-Bit said, patting the ground next to him.

"What are you doin' out here all by your lonesome?" She sat next to him, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Ain't this your party?"

"S'pose it is. Can't say I feel much like celebrating, though."

"I'm not sure any of us do."

Two-Bit looked at her. "Where's Stevie?"

Trying not to let her disappointment show, she jerked a thumb toward the house. "Inside. I can understand him wanting to hang out with Soda, but he ain't close with many others in there, and everyone wants to talk to him. Ain't his fault, but I sure wish he'd be his usual moody self and tell them all to piss off."

Two-Bit laughed. "Guess I should've thought about that before plannin' a party."

"Ain't your fault. You seem to want everyone gone just as much as I do."

Even that would make her happy. Hanging out with Steve and the friends who actually cared about him would be almost as good as if it were just the two of them. Well, it would be a whole lot better than this party, anyway.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much," Two-Bit said. "Even I can see how badly he wants to get outta here and be with you."

Despite how much she wanted that to be true, Anna felt a twinge of guilt. Steve hadn't said much, but he had mentioned that Two-Bit seemed to be taking the whole thing worse than he'd expected. She supposed that when everyone expected him to be cheerful and optimistic, it wasn't hard to fall short of someone's expectation.

"Maybe. But he also wants to hang out with you."

Two-Bit wouldn't meet her gaze. "You know, I know I ain't like Soda to him, but Steve's always been the closest thing to a best friend I've had."

"Soda and Steve have been best friends since grade school," she said. "Nothin's gonna come between that, but I think you come in at a close second."

"Yeah? Sometimes I think you might be right. He sure loves you, though."

Anna grinned. She knew, but knowing Two-Bit knew sure was something. "Yeah? Sometimes I think _you_ might be right."

They were silent for a few minutes, and Anna was glad she'd gone outside. As much as she wanted to be with Steve, being inside was stifling and being with Two-Bit was a comfort. They'd almost always been friends. With her break up with Steve, and Two-Bit's constant messes with Kathy, they'd only ever truly fought once.

"I s'pose you know about me and Kathy?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"I know you guys are - uh … spending time together."

He chuckled, but it sounded bitter. "That's one way of putting it."

"You ain't happy about it?"

"I'm happy with however much Kathy I can get. I'd just like more."

She nodded. "You wanna get back together."

"I dunno. Maybe." He shrugged. "Stupid, huh?"

Anna found she couldn't answer honestly. Having hardly spoken to Kathy in weeks, she didn't know Kathy's feelings on the situation. She had known them a month ago, but with how up and down Kathy's relationship with Two-Bit was, she couldn't be sure she knew them now.

Head against the house, he turned to look at her. "Hey, you know Steve leavin' changes nothin', right? I mean, he's goin', and me and Kathy ain't together, but you and me? We'll still be buddies?"

"I sure hope so." She glanced around the ground they were sitting on before looking back at Two-Bit. "You're bein' awful chatty tonight. How much you had to drink?"

"Uh, not much, actually." She could have sworn Two-Bit turned slightly pink at that.

Smiling, she rested her head on his shoulder. Screw the party; she'd much rather hang out with Two-Bit until Steve was ready to go.

"We'll always be friends, Two-Bit."

XXXXX

Steve was surprised to see Anna and Two-Bit sitting so close together. If it was anyone else sitting with her, then he might have said something. Instead, he held out a hand to help her to her feet. Once she was standing, he slid his arms around her waist and didn't plan on letting go any time soon.

Two-Bit stood and rested a hand against the fence in front of him. "'Bout time you got out here."

Steve scowled. "You ain't kiddin'. Hanging out with Soda was cool, but he went to dance with Anita, and Bobby Miller decided tonight was the perfect fucking time to tell me about his oil leak."

"Yeah, the guy's an idiot. You happen to see a pretty blonde arrive while you were in there, Stevie?"

Not needing to ask who he was talking about, Steve nodded. With a grin, Two-Bit sauntered off and Steve couldn't tell if he was drunk or not. He looked at Anna, loosening his hold slightly as she leaned back against the house.

"You been out here long?" he asked.

"A while."

He stepped closer. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's just … by the time Soda went to dance with Anita, you'd been gone a while …"

She smiled. "Really. It's okay. I'd love to have spent the last few hours alone with you, but I understand."

Leaning down, he kissed her, and kissed her hard. Hoping, really and truly hoping that she knew what she meant to him, how much he cared about her, how badly he would miss her. Pulling back slightly, he rested his forehead against hers, breathing deeply.

"Steve?"

Opening his eyes, he looked down at her. "Yeah?"

"Can I tell you somethin'?"

"Anything."

She averted her gaze, but he was pretty sure her eyes were wet. "I don't want you to go."

Letting out a heavy breath, he lowered his head and rested his cheek against hers. "I know," he whispered in her ear.

Anna just sniffed in reply, and he held her even tighter. He really didn't want to leave her.

"Can I tell you somethin'?" he asked.

"Anything."

Swallowing back the sick feeling in his throat, and fisting his shaking hands into her blouse, he told her the one thing he didn't want anyone to know. The one thing he could barely admit to himself. The one thing he could only tell her.

"I'm scared."

Her arms wrapped securely around him and she pressed her face into his neck. "I know."

"You're the one person I especially didn't want to know because I hate that you worry, but you're the _only_ person I can admit it to."

"Oh, Steve."

He pulled back so he could look at her. "I don't know what to do, Anna. I mean, I know what I _have_ to do, because I don't have a fucking choice, but I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared of what I might have to do over there, of not making it home to you, of dying -"

"Stop." She set her hand over his mouth, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. "Just … stop."

He stopped. He was pissed at himself for having gone so far - too far. He knew his words alone would hurt her, but once he'd started he hadn't been able to stop. She really was the only one he could say that stuff to, even though she was the one person he didn't want knowing how scared he was. Knowing that wouldn't help her any. But now, with Anna's hand pressing gently to his lips, he waited.

She opened her eyes, looking at him calmly. Pulling her hand away, she placed them both at the back of her neck, talking quietly.

"I know you probably think this is dumb and stupid, but I want you to take this." She held out her necklace.

"Anna -"

"I know, okay? It's completely sappy, but I don't care. It was my grandpa's, and after you and Danny, it means everything to me," she said, looking at him pleadingly. "It was my grandpa's, and I want you to take it with you."

He lowered his head for her to do it up behind his neck.

It wasn't dumb or stupid. It probably _was_ the sappiest thing he'd ever been a part of, but he didn't care either. Anna thought of that necklace as her grandpa's - which meant everything that she wanted to give it to him - but Steve had always thought of it as Anna's. He knew it used to belong to her grandpa, but he'd only ever known it as hers, and taking something of hers with him - something that meant so much to her - sure sounded nice.

"I won't take it off," he promised. "Not until I'm back and can give it back."

"Good." She frowned. "You'll write all the time, right?"

"Yeah."

"Don't hold anything back, okay? I - I know I stopped you just now, but hearing you say it is different. I want you to be able to write and tell me anything … and it probably won't be so bad reading it in a letter, you know?"

He stared at her, not wanting to agree to that but not sure he could say no to her. "I don't want you to worry about me."

"C'mon, Stevie, I'm gonna do that anyway - no matter how fake your letters are."

"I don't know much, but I know it ain't good over there."

"I know. But, please? I love you and you shouldn't have to pretend."

Tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear, he nodded. "I love you, too. And I'll be back in no time."

"You keep sayin' that."

"Because I mean it," he said. She avoided his gaze again, and touched her cheek to get her to look at him. "I need you to do me a favour."

"Yeah?"

"You can't come tomorrow." He knew it was pointless even as he said it.

"Steve -"

"Anna … you come and I won't get on that bus."

Tears filled her eyes. "Good."

"I mean it. If you're there, I won't be able to leave."

"I don't want you to leave. And I don't care what you say; I'm coming."

He sighed. "That's what I figured." Lifting a hand, he wiped tears off her cheeks. "Come inside and dance with me. Then we can go."

"You wanna dance?" she asked with a small smile.

"Yeah, I do." He remembered his first dance with Anna at his seventeenth birthday party - what she was wearing, the song they danced to, how good it felt to touch her - and silently hoped this wouldn't be his last. Because, really, all he wanted to do was hold her close and keep her close.

"One dance?"

"One dance. Then we're getting outta here."

_No I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid,  
__Just as long as you stand, stand by me._

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileyMomma for beta-reading. Reviews would be lovely. The next chapter is the last :)


	31. Say Goodbye

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Next Year" by the Foo Fighters.

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**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE  
****Saturday, June 24****th****, 1967**

_I'm in the sky tonight,  
__There I can keep by your side._

Knuckles itching, Steve stared down at his mother's headstone. Valentine's Day had always been her favourite holiday, and he'd made a point of going to her grave every Valentine's Day since she'd died. It was the only time he went, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been there and it wasn't Valentine's Day.

In fact, there was a good chance it had been the day of her funeral. He wasn't sure if that made him a really shitty son, or if it made his old man a really shitty husband and father for not bringing him more. He figured the latter; at least Steve made the effort every year.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, not feeling great about being there. He didn't have any flowers. Anna had asked if he wanted to stop and get some, but putting flowers on her grave seemed so final. He wasn't there to say goodbye, he wasn't there just in case, he wasn't there for one last visit; he was there because he wouldn't be able to make it next Valentine's Day.

Okay, maybe he was there just in case.

Sighing, he read the headstone he'd had memorised for seven years. Jacqueline Randle had only been thirty-one when she died, and as far as Steve was concerned, that was too damn young. He supposed eighteen and at war wasn't much better. His gaze drifted in the direction he knew Johnny and Dally were buried, and he couldn't decide what was worse.

It was all too depressing, and he thought maybe he should've stayed away.

But he'd had to come. Whether he liked it or not, this could be goodbye. He hadn't said that to Anna, who was waiting in his car, but she knew it. She never said one negative thing about what the next year could bring, but she knew the score. He was heading to war with a gun in his hand, and no guarantee it wasn't a one-way ticket over there. A part of him wished he'd been able to break up with her and spare her the year of hell she had coming her way.

Not that his would be much better. Hell, he was pretty sure it would be a whole lot worse.

It almost made him glad his mom wasn't around to worry. Almost. Anna's worry was bad enough, and Soda and Two-Bit's was nearly as bad - he couldn't imagine seeing his mom worry about something like this. And he knew she would have; she'd been one hell of a mom and he missed her like crazy. Despite how much she would have worried, he sure wished she was still around. He was pretty sure she really would have liked Anna.

He glanced back toward the parking lot, where he could just make Anna out sitting on the hood of his car, waiting for him. The silver ring with the green stone was hidden at the bottom of the bag he was leaving at Soda's. He didn't trust his dad not to throw out his stuff, and leaving a bag of things he wanted to keep at Soda's seemed like the best idea. Leaving the ring in that bag until he came back was just as smart an idea. He couldn't stand to give it to Anna and then not return.

He also hated the idea of not getting the chance to give her back her necklace. The chain felt cool and unfamiliar around his neck, the cross heavy on his chest. But the good kind of heavy. The kind that made him think of Anna and home and dancing with her the night before.

Looking back at the headstone, his hands shook again. It felt like he didn't go more than a few hours without them shaking, but he'd gotten used to it. Anna had noticed, of course; she'd grab his hand every time she did, but she never said a word and he loved her for it.

But now she was at his car and he was standing over his mom's grave and he might not come back. It brought back that sick feeling, but there was still nothing he could do about it. This could very well be the last time he saw his mom's grave, and that was about as depressing as all the other possibly-not-coming-back scenarios he'd come up with.

The idea of not having to see his dad again was the only not depressing thought. It'd run through his head as he and Anna were leaving his place for the last time earlier that morning, but he'd had the common sense not to say it out loud. Anna was on edge enough as it was.

But his dad was a bastard. A tiny part of him had been hoping everything would be wrapped up nicely before he left, but he wasn't surprised it wasn't. A little over a year ago he'd been thinking how similar his and Anna's dads were, but they weren't. Anna's dad cared. His didn't. He'd said nothing about the letter, and had barely spoken to Steve in the month since. Their goodbye that morning had consisted of an 'I'm leaving now,' followed by an ill-timed 'don't get killed' right in front of Anna.

He hated his old man, he really did.

His mom, though … he sure loved her. With one last heavy look at the headstone, he turned and headed back toward Anna.

XXXXX

Steve scowled at Two-Bit. "My last goddamn day here, and you've got me fixin' your car. Christ, Two-Bit."

"I figured it was a nice goodbye present." Two-Bit grinned, setting himself down on the dead grass of the Curtises' front lawn. "You've been dying to get your hands on her for years."

Well, Steve couldn't deny that. Picking up a rag, he leaned back under the hood of Two-Bit's car to tighten the cap on the radiator. It was no wonder the car was over-heating with the lack of water in the radiator. Not that Steve really minded working on the car. Considering he was leaving in less than three hours, it was nice to be doing something normal. In fact, the only problem he had with it was that he wouldn't get as much done to the damn piece of junk as he would like.

He stood straight, and was wiping his hands on the rag when Anna's laugh floated outside. Glancing toward the house, he wondered just how much of a mess she and Soda were making. Darry was making chicken sandwiches for lunch, but Soda had insisted he and Anna make a chocolate cake to go with it. He frowned. Glancing at Two-Bit, he decided to take the opportunity.

"What was with you and Anna last night?"

Two-Bit's grin widened. "You jealous, Stevie?"

"No," he said, without any of the usual irritation his voice usually held when he was asked that question. "Just worried about her."

Shuffling around so his back was against the fence, Two-Bit lost his grin. "Worryin' about her ain't gonna help you over there."

"I know, it's just … Soda's already said you guys'll look out for her, but they're not as close as they used to be …"

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow at him. "You asking me to look out for your girl?"

"She's gonna need more than Danny and Kathy. 'Specially when Kathy's hardly been around much."

Two-Bit stood and moved to stand next to Steve. "You don't have to worry, man. Me and Anna? We made plans last night. Our friendship's gonna be so great it could rival yours and Soda's."

"Yeah?" Even while Two-Bit made jokes, Steve couldn't help but worry.

"You're leaving, Johnny and Dally are gone, and Kathy dumped me, buddy. Other than the guys -" Two-Bit threw a hand in the direction of the house, "- Anna's the only real friend I got left."

Steve said nothing. Two-Bit looked and sounded so serious that it was hard to know what to say in response. Anna was worried about him, Soda was worried about him, and he knew his mom would be worried if he was there. But he was worried about Anna, and even though Two-Bit's words made him relax a little, he was worried about Two-Bit, too. Finally, he just said what came to mind.

"Thanks, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit threw an arm around his shoulder and began to lead them inside. "Anytime, Stevie."

XXXXX

Steve kept his eyes on Anna. She seemed okay, but about halfway through lunch she had become uncharacteristically quiet. It wasn't surprising, considering everything, but he still worried. He wanted her to be her usual self, but knew it wasn't going to happen. The closer it got to three o'clock, the more she pulled away.

Not physically, at least. He and Soda had spread an old blanket out on the lawn to make the dried, dead grass more comfortable. They were sitting with their back against Two-Bit's car, and Anna's head was in Steve's lap as she lay across the blanket. She wasn't speaking, and her eyes were closed as he idly played with her hair.

"Is she awake?" Soda asked quietly.

Steve looked down at her, moving his fingers to her warm cheek. "Anna? You awake?"

She leaned into his touch and let out a noise of confirmation that sounded far more content than he knew she was feeling. Moving his for-once-not-shaking fingers back through her hair, Steve decided to let her doze in the sun as much as she wanted. He knew she hadn't been sleeping well, and he had kept her up pretty late the night before.

Soda grinned. "We gotta at least wake Sleepy Head up before Two-Bit realises. He'll soak her with the hose first chance he gets."

Not for the first time that day, Steve found himself pleased with how Soda and Anna had been getting along lately. What he'd told Two-Bit earlier was true - they weren't as close as they used to be - but they'd seemed to pull together since he had received his letter. And he appreciated it. It was one thing to watch them snap at each other before the letter; he wouldn't have been able to stand it the last few weeks.

Smirking, he thought back to the chocolate cake the two of them had made for lunch. He had been expecting something different about it - Soda had made it, after all - but what he hadn't expected was for it to be covered in pink icing.

"Why is the chocolate cake pink?" he'd asked after staring at it for a few moments.

Anna grinned. "Because Soda said pink's your favourite colour."

"He …" Steve raised an eyebrow at his best friend, all the while his heart tugged at the giggle Anna let out. He didn't want to leave her. Not ever. It hurt just thinking about it.

Suddenly sitting up from his lap, she faced him. "It's a bit warm out here."

"You wanna go inside?"

"Yeah. I'll go in and make sure Two-Bit hasn't eaten the whole cake. You guys stay out here, though." She leaned in to give him a quick kiss, before standing up and going inside.

The silence that followed wasn't something he was used to. It had never been awkward between him and Soda. Sure, there had been awkward moments when Steve had picked on the kid too much, or back when he thought Soda and Anna were dating, but nothing like this.

"She's about as subtle as Two-Bit, she is," Soda said.

"You ain't kiddin'."

"I guess she's got a point, though. I mean … I guess this is our last chance to hang out until you come back."

"Yeah."

Soda said nothing for a few moments, just sat and picked at the dead grass next to his leg. Quickly realising he needed to do something with his fingers, Steve dug out his smokes and lit two up. Soda took the offered smoke without question, finally talking after taking a long drag.

"I really wish you weren't goin', Steve."

So much for his hands not shaking. He'd been dreading saying goodbye to Anna so much that he hadn't really thought about saying goodbye to Soda. Or maybe he just hadn't let himself think about it. Soda was his best buddy since grade school, and they both knew there was a chance they might not see each other again.

"I wish I wasn't, too," he said honestly. "I'm all for a good fight, you know, but this is different."

"You know Two-Bit was talkin' of enlisting? So you wouldn't have to go alone?"

Steve looked at him, shocked. "You didn't let him, did you?"

"Of course not. He was drunk as a skunk, and I don't think he really knew what he was saying anyway."

"Christ," Steve muttered. "I hate that I'm goin', but I'd hate it even more if one of you were comin' with me."

"That's what I told him," Soda said. "And Pony pointed out the chance of the two of you ending up together was real slim."

Steve just nodded. Damn Two-Bit. He really came up with some of the worst ideas sometimes. It made Steve even more glad he'd asked Two-Bit to look out for Anna. He knew his buddy wouldn't go back on his word. Not about that.

"Hey, I tell ya what came into work yesterday?" Soda asked, flicking ash off his cigarette. Steve shook his head and Soda continued. "A '66 Charger."

"No way?"

Soda was grinning from ear-to-ear. "I swear, man."

"Aw, hell. I fucking love those cars. I can't believe I missed it."

"Came in right when I was leaving, but I made sure to stick around and pump their gas."

Steve smirked. Not at Soda sticking around at work, just to get a decent look at the car that came in, but at the direction their conversation had gone. He bet Anna hadn't planned on them talking about cars when she left them alone, but it felt right.

He glanced at Soda. "How'd it sound?"

XXXXX

Not for the first time since arriving at the bus station, Steve grabbed Anna's hand in his own to stop her tapping fingers. Also not for the first time, she held tight and refused to look at him. She had done so well, but now, at the goddamn bus station, she was terrified of falling apart. Bawling in front of everyone wasn't her style, but she was so damn close she could feel the tears building up, waiting for the moment she couldn't hold them back.

She took a deep breath, glancing over at Danny again. He wasn't exactly out of place with Two-Bit and the Curtis boys, but when it was a situation like this, he was standing back until Anna needed him. And she was glad. Watching him flirt with the blonde at the ticket station was the only normal thing about the place. His quick looks at her every couple of minutes helped, too. She knew he would be there the moment she needed him. The moment Steve was gone.

She hated that he was leaving. Couldn't stand the idea of him being gone. Despised the fact that she had to spend that night alone, wake up alone tomorrow morning, and do it all every night and day for the next year. She couldn't even imagine life without him, and she couldn't even _begin_ to imagine how it would be for him. A thousand times worse, she was sure of it. He wouldn't just be without her; he would be without everyone.

She really hated that he would be alone.

Glancing at Danny again, she didn't even feel better at knowing he would always be there. It just wasn't the same.

Steve leaned close to her as she started tapping her free thumb on her knee, and kissed the spot right below her ear.

"Everything will be okay," he whispered, repeating her words from the day he had received his letter. As much as she had tried to believe them then, she couldn't now. Not when a static-filled announcement came over the speakers just as he finished talking, telling them the 3pm bus would be boarding in ten minutes.

She looked into his eyes, fighting tears and the desperate need she had to beg him not to go. Leaning forward, he gave her a quick kiss and stood up. She stood, too, moving to the side slightly so he could say goodbye to the guys. She had done her best all day to give him time with his friends, even going as far as to reluctantly tell him to drop her at home while he went to the Curtises'.

He had refused and she had been glad. She hadn't wanted to spend a single minute away from him all day. She had enough sense to give him some space - she wanted him to have time with his buddies, too - and she thought that Two-bit and Sodapop might very well be the reason she hadn't yet burst into tears. They were both entertaining enough to be good distractions when she wasn't with Steve.

She could feel Danny's presence behind her as she watched Steve give Pony a good-natured clap on the shoulder, shake hands with Darry, and take Two-Bit's hug without a choice. Biting her lip, she stepped back a few paces, wanting to give him his space with Soda, but wishing he'd move back to Pony and start all over again. She didn't want it to be her turn. She didn't know what Steve said to any of the guys, but wasn't sure she could handle a goodbye from him.

Standing next to Danny, she stared at the floor as he and Steve shook hands. She could hear them speaking, but the words didn't make any impact. She just continued staring at the floor, willing what was coming to just not happen. It wasn't until Steve stood in front of her that she finally looked up. Danny moved away, and she stared at Steve, not knowing what to say.

She didn't have to say anything. He grasped her face in his hands and kissed her, long and slow and deep. When he pulled back, his arms slipped around her waist and he buried his face in her hair. Taking a steadying breath, Anna hugged him back, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. The scent of leather, car oil, and aftershave assaulted her and she breathed in the familiar smell.

"I'll be back in no time."

"Okay."

"I love you," he whispered in her ear.

He pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ear and giving her a reassuring smile. It wasn't something she was used to seeing from him - scowls, smirks, and sneers were more common than smiles.

"I love you, too," she said quietly.

He stared at her for a moment and she stared right back. Finally, half a smirk on his face, he took a step back and picked up his bag.

"I'll see y'all in a year."

A chorus of goodbyes came from his buddies, but Anna said nothing. She wasn't sure there was anything else to say, but at the same time was sure that there had to be more. _Okay_ and _I love you_ didn't seem like enough. They didn't even seem close to enough. She stared at Steve. He gave one last wave to the guys, one final look at her, and turned and left.

Her heart ached more and more with every step he took. He was leaving. He was leaving and she hadn't even said a proper goodbye. She had to say something, _anything_.

He was a few feet from the door when she realised what she wanted to say to him.

"Steve!" She ran for him as he turned, and threw herself into his arm. "Don't go. Please don't go," she whispered, fighting sobs but unable to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh, Anna," he sighed, his arms tight around her waist, breath warm against her neck. "I'll be back, okay? I'll be back before you know it. But I have to go; you know I have to."

She nodded; she did know. "Just … be careful."

"Of course."

"You promise?"

He pulled back slightly and pushed her hair off her damp face. Her hands fisted in his T-Shirt, not willing to let him go. "I promise. I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna …" He trailed off, a far-away look in his eyes.

"Steve?"

Leaning down, he kissed her forehead, and continued talking softly with his lips against her skin. "Remember the promise I made at the lake after I got my letter? We're going to be together forever. Just like planned." He took a slow breath before continuing. "I'm gonna be fine and I'm gonna come back home and then I'm gonna marry you, okay?"

Eyes closed, she let his words sink in. Together forever. Just like planned. That had been the plan, the promise he had made to her … and now there was a new one. One most people would take time to think about, but she didn't need to. She opened her eyes to look at him; his defences were up, his gaze wary as if he thought she might actually turn him down. A small smile crept over her lips.

"Okay," she agreed. He smirked, and Christ she was glad to see it. "I love you."

"I know." He didn't need to say it back this time; the way he kissed her was more than enough. Pulling back, he stood in front of her for a moment, his forehead pressed against hers. His hands squeezed her waist slightly, and she looked dazedly up at him. His eyes were closed, and he leaned in to brush his lips against hers.

And then he was pulling away - lips leaving hers, hands leaving her waist, him leaving her. He started at the ground, as if it was too hard to look at her again, then grimaced and turned away. She stood in silence as he made his way outside and onto the bus. There was nothing either of them could do to keep him there, and chasing after him this time wasn't going to do anyone any good. So she stood, completely alone and not sure what she was supposed to do now.

Then Danny was next to her, his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. Reaching up, she wiped all evidence of tears from her face as Two-Bit and Soda arrived next to her, Darry and Pony somewhere close behind. She still wanted to cry - despite the headache she could feel coming from the crying she had already done - but refused to do so. Instead, she took a steadying breath and waited until Steve's bus pulled out of the station and started down the street. A few more tears fell then, but she quickly swiped them away.

"Let's get the hell outta here," Two-Bit said. "In fact, I'll be glad if I never have to come to this damn place again."

"You ain't kiddin'," Soda muttered.

The guys turned to leave, and with his arm still around her shoulders, Danny led her toward the front doors. She leaned into him, exhausted.

"You know," Two-Bit said, turning to grin at her, "if this ain't the perfect reason to go get sloshed, I don't know what is."

Forcing a smile at the wink he gave her, her hand automatically reached for the necklace at her neck. Finding nothing but skin, she sighed. Steve was gone and Grandpa Joe's necklace was with him. She had wanted him to take it, but now she felt alone without either of them.

"You okay, Miss B?" Danny asked, opening the front door of his car for her.

She looked at him, knowing as well as he did that she wasn't okay. But she would be. Steve would be okay and he would be back and then - the same small smile flittered across her face … then he wanted to marry her. And until then, she had Danny. She nodded at him, and climbed into the car.

Everything would be okay. _Steve_ would be okay; she wouldn't allow herself to think differently, not even for a moment.

_Watching the whole world riot and hiding out,  
__I'll be coming home next year._

**The end.**

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed! Much appreciated :)


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